I am so embarrassed.....

1234newman

Ultimately it is all about changing life habits and what we eat is one of those. However the other habits such as the unresolved stresses in our lives do impact on eating. We can punish ourselves for not being loved as a child, or for lack of friends, as examples.

Knowing that we are on the brink of a some serious chronic disease, diabetes for instance, or finding twinges of pain indicating impending loss of mobility from overloaded knees and hip, can give us the incentive to decide to eat differently.

However at some stage we need to address those mental injuries from life history, especially unsatisfactory childhood, that are harming us mentally. Beating yourself up mentally is what we do to 'atone' when we wrongly blame ourselves for old history that we cannot do anything about.

What about a medical practitioner to refer to you to a counsellor to help you work through things? To reduce your attention to those self-punishing thoughts and voices that are yesterday and self-limiting.

I am on a long journey too and like all here and all humans, I have to concentrate on and deal with this moment and today. That is enough.

Environment - I know I have to throw out anything in the fridge and pantry that is not OK for my body. I need to decide in advance what food I can buy that is not calorie dense fast food if I am out past a meal time.

size102b

all_4_my_son wrote: »

Hopped on the scale yesterday, swore I would never allow myself to get over 300 pounds - scale said 322. I am so ashamed and humiliated, mainly because I did it to myself and now, I don't know how to undo it. Logging my food and exercising has not helped in the past - I just gain it right back.

I don't know what to do this time around, but I know I'm tired, I can't breathe or bend over, I can't fit in a booth at a restaurant anymore and I couldn't even fasten my seat belt in my sister's SUV the other night.

I know, it's a pity party, but it seems to be all I'm good at anymore because being healthy, I clearly suck at!

Don't be just take this a day at a time hey ...,
Last year I was 231 got down to 167 now I'm back to 206 because I hit real sick thought I had lung cancer I didn't thanks god but life happens
Am I demoralised YES but the whole point is we are doing something about this and tbh it's just a number - those scales are just a number

We can do this add me

cmedwards52

You just gave yourself three very good reasons to MAKE this work for YOU and they are all health related not to mention "happy" related. Maybe post those on your fridge instead of a magazine photo. You might also post photos of the very special people in your life that you want to stick around for. Just sayin.....................

kenyonhaff

Hey, hey.... you're here ready to make a change and to tell strangers about it. That's really brave. You just took a couple steps in the right direction so keep going!

Nikion901

You did it ... and you can UNDO it .... just know that the undo part is a long journey with lots of detours and booby traps along the way ... be ready for them!

cessi0909

Don't be embarrassed, you can do this -- you can get to a point that you feel good in your skin! But there is no reason for the embarrassment.

nutmegoreo

cmriverside wrote: »

Baby steps. Just start, don't aim for perfection.

How about just logging your food and spending ten minutes looking at your Food Diary at the end of the day and making a note of how you could improve a tiny bit.

One day at a time, it's all we have.

I agree with this. Don't make big sweeping changes. Small changes that you can live with will be much more sustainable in the long run. Log what you are currently eating. You might find it eye opening. I was surprised at how high calories some of my previous staple foods were before logging them. Once I knew, I could still enjoy them, but maybe half the serving.

Baby steps. Persistence and consistence are what you need. If you have a rough day, don't throw it all away, just refocus.

Meghan952

I would recommend the book (and the CD that comes along with it) called "I Can Make You Thin" by John McKenna. It has made a difference in my life and my husband's life. It is very affordable and very helpful; I bought it off of Amazon. Best of luck!

Bluwaves1

You have to have some motivation to lose the weight and stick to it. Some need that your weight is preventing from being filled. when you find that, focus on it and let that drive you toward success. Do not stop once you start.

Tonkajoe

Don't be embarrassed. But start to take care of yourself first! Keep logging everything you eat -even if its over your calorie goal. Consider the change you need to make is "for the rest of your life." Like every human on the planet you have a health issue. Some are farsighted, some are bald, some (sadly) have cancer .. some have to be super careful about what they eat --for the rest of your life -- its okay -- like I said everyone has "something." Slowly build a plan and then once you have that plan --never change it. You will NEVER go off this diet -- you will from now on always watch what you eat. Again - its okay - make a "game" out of it. Use all the data and tools you can find - get a fitbit - get a really good smart scale - again consider this to be something you have to do -for the rest of your life. Again - thats not a bad thing. Full time athletes that make a ton of money - spend their whole life watching what they eat and do. Full time supermodel's do the same thing. They count every calorie. All those movie stars and people you see on tv -- they ALL watch every calorie. One thing ive found lately thats helpful is watching a lot of transformation videos on Youtube -- a lot of these people have a lot of good information about their success. So you dont have to go it alone even -- watch a bunch of them - select a couple you think are similar to yourself and follow their goals along with your own. I hope you find success. T.

Firefly0606

No more dieting!! It doesn't work. You have to make SUSTAINABLE changes.
How many calories does it take to maintain your current weight of 322? If you figure that out first, then you can make a sensibile reduction in the amount of calories you eat to lose weight.

If you figure out that you need 3000 calories a day to maintain your weight, then you can reduce your intake by 20%, to 2400. You're on track for slower, but sustainable weight loss this way. If you just blindly take the figure that any of the online calculators recommend, you might find yourself on 1800 calories per day. And sure, you'll lose weight fast, but it is really hard to maintain that because it simply isn't enough.

Decide this is for life, not just this time around. Slow and steady wins the race.

youdoyou2016

Maybe you can let yourself feel embarrassed for a bit. Rather than ignore it or then be embarrassed that you're embarrassed, just feel it. Maybe even cry about it all.

I think NOT feeling those things is a mistake. (I'm just saying this from my own experience.) Look, it get it -- it sucks, it's frustrating, it seems like it will take forever. When I wanted to lose weight, I wanted the end result right there and then. I really hated the whole thing (and myself). It didn't take long, though, for me to get some momentum going in the direction I wanted it to go. Then it just became the way I lived. I know people say this all the time, but -- really! -- if I can do you it, anyone can. Really, you can. And, I know, how it is currently can seem pretty terrible. That's OK, too. However you are is OK.

JeanieWww

Sent you a friend request. Embarrassment and shame often go hand in hand. Now use that to sit down and make a a deliberate choice. Are you going to undo it, or are you going to wallow in your embarrassment and allow it to control you? Don't let your body dictate who you are or what you can do. With diligence and patience, you CAN lose it and get healthy again.

amandaeve

Your weight gain appears to be just a symptom of how you treat and feel about yourself. I recommend Googling self-compassion for some self-help ideas. Kristin Neff is sort of the primary researcher in this psychology, but there are others. You won't succeed by focusing on eating behavior alone. Speaking for myself, it's easier to love food than it is to love myself. Best of luck to you!

Laurie6578

I started at 273 and remember those hot feelings of shame at having to acknowledge that number. Use it as a catalyst to make the changes that you need to make. Love yourself enough. You deserve to be healthy. ...this site is full of success stories about people who have travelled the same roads as you and I - and reached their goals. I still have a long way to go too but I've lost 61 pounds and I will not let myself go back. I know it seems overwhelming to think about how much weight you have to lose at the beginning. You are not alone in that, you can do this!!

MariluzGmo

One of my dietitians always started by making her patients write everything they usually eat during the week (chips, candy, veggies, everything). Then she went ahead and made the diet maintaining everything on the diet but one or two unhealthy foods. That every 15 days, until slowly the patient had only one cheat day. It's a VERY SLOW way to lose weight, but safer and less stressful. Also the first week, instead of using a deficit diet, she'd do a mantainance diet to smooth in into the diet.
That's how I started, and that's when I really felt I could live with a "diet".

Manikva

You can do it, but focus on one pound at a time, do not think 50 or 100, it is scary.... I have been eating about 1,000 calories a day in the last few days and am surprised that it feels enough. The bottom line for me has been to get plenty of protein with each meal (25-30g) - a protein smoothie (homemade), chicken, fish or eggs. I have added more veggies as well - roasted eggplant and zucchini, broccoli, Brussels sprouts. I still have my cappuccino (or two) with 1% milk and erythritol instead of sugar - it is an excellent sweetener, no calories and no sugar grams, but tastes and looks just like sugar. Instead of a desert, I have Chobani yogurt with erythritol and a tablespoon of low-sugar jam, or just fresh fruit. Limit fruit to 3-4 pieces a day, increase veggies and make sure you get regularly protein and you will feel the difference. Exercise for me has been critical too, even if I just walk fast for an hour. But some small weights circuit training should be included. Good luck and keep in touch!

thunderthighsandlightning

I know how you feel. I lost 70 lbs two years ago, and through careless eating, I gained around 50 of that back. When I stepped on the scale and saw I'd gone from 220 to 260+, I felt horrible and I wanted to just give up. I thought, what's the point? But I know it's worth it to get healthy. Find something to motivate you and stick up reminders around your room/house to exercise, eat well and never give up--it's what encourages me on the days that I just want to cry into a bowl of mac and cheese about how fat I am (even though I still do that sometimes). You can do this! I believe in you!

Lioness_1978

Alot of good advice here. You can do it. I know what it feels like. It's a mental change that needs to happen slowly over time. No time frames, being realistic. Learning to praise yourself for every little feet. I was at 327 lbs 3 yrs ago January. I am down 129 lbs with 27 lbs to go. I've slowly changed the way I think and made good healthy changes and realistic. I still enjoy moments in life and eat and drink things I wouldnt usually on occasion. That's real life. Feel free to message me anytime. You got this!

jomary01

Stop beating yourself up. Just take things day by day.