For those of you who aren't SUPER FIT-yep they are judging us.
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JoRocka, agree to disagree. She didn't say he randomly walked up and started yelling. She said she caught them talking about how stupid she was, and when she called them out on it, dude started screaming.
As far as being an adult and figuring out "if" you "let" that affect you or not . . . different people with different personalities are affected differently by events in their lives (good or bad). I wish it was just as simple as deciding. Granted, I am older now, and I don't let people slide on their rudeness. That helps, no regrets of wishing I had said something.
I don't know. To me, that's placing a lot of confidence in some stranger's mental stability. Yeah if it's a small goof and there's potential for a quick "oops I'm sorry!", I might say something. But it seems safer to shake my head or tsk tsk or better yet, say nothing and walk away. The interaction may not be as satisfying as it could be in my mind, but at least I'm walking away from a kind of iffy situation.
Yes, certainly you have to use a little discretion. But, I am not a door mat. I'm not saying I'm going to curse somebody out for being rude. I'm not trying to "one up" their rude "kitten". But, I'm also not just going to turn red and timidly walk away like I would have at age 20. I'm more likely to just say, wow that was rude, or tell them to mind their own business. And, no, I am not confident in the mental stability of strangers. But, I know how to protect myself, and maybe they should be a little less confident in my mental stability. ;-)2 -
I don't belong to a gym, I lift in my basement- but I run outside and sometimes do stairs at the local college stadium.
I have occasionally had rude people yell things from cars- but most of the people who were working out have been so nice.
A soccer team was on the track while I was on the stairs one day, and the coach sent up 20 odd super fit boys- and I'm an overweight 30-something mom. Those kids were so nice- I went to move to the side, and one kid told me to pick where I wanted to be and they would work around me. When they did their stairs and were heading back down one of them gave me a high five and told me to keep it up, I was killing it.
Another time I saw a flier for a trail 5k and when I showed up I realized it was a running club and I was the only non-member. I came in dead last- 34 minutes- with the next to last person about 7 minutes ahead of me. But they all stayed and waited for me to finish and I got some awesome advice about trail running and how to up mileage with limited running days. They were so nice.
I think MOST people are kind and encouraging and recognize that a person is trying. Some are *kitten*. They come in all body shapes. I don't think all fit people are judging all those who arent, because that just has not been my experience.13 -
Sometimes unpleasant things can happen because of your attitude. People that smile at almost everyone seem to have fewer problems--just my observation.6
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i stopped reading half way through. I feel like you were just feeling self conscious because when i'm at the gym I don't notice anything around me. I wouldn't have any idea if i was being judged.
I started going to the gym weighing 285lbs (my profile picture) and I was fat and weak. I've belonged to 4 different gyms while being in the 285-225 weight and at no point have I ever felt judged by stereo typical gym goer.
I actually experienced the opposite. I had a few complete strangers at my gym come up to me just to say how they noticed I had lost weight and was doing a good job.
Everyone is in the gym because they're trying to improve in some facet. It's a shared interest not separated.6 -
I get it. I have about 80 pounds to lose, and I just joined a gym. I was comparing two gyms -
1. that was pretty nice, connected to a hospital, have really helpful staff, and where there's lots of space to workout and fantastic facilities. There were a bunch of people of all ages and backgrounds and fitness levels, in casual workout clothes, and I felt very comfortable working out there. It's also a slightly inconvenient location - 10 minutes by bus but the bus only runs every half and hour, so I have to plan it carefully if I don't want to wait around at the bus stop.
2. A chain of gyms that's midrange in price, and $7 cheaper than the other gym. Smaller, crowded, *kitten* staff who are very difficult. The customers there are all super young and fit and fashionable and clad in Lululemon. In the locker room, for the first time I saw that women were uncomfortable getting naked. I saw why - there was a woman who was about 20 pounds overweight there, changing, and I heard some hushed girls near me gossiping and giggling and pointing at her. Then they noticed me near them, 80 pounds overweight, and shut up. lol who knows what they said about me after I left. The men hog the free weight area and glare at anyone who seems like a beginner, and when a staffer saw me awkwardly doing bench lifts with bad form he rolled his eyes at me instead of offering to help. The location is great. I live next to a train stop and take the train to work and to do most things, and this gym is two stops away. 7 minutes commute from my front door to their front door.
I tried each of these gyms for a few days, and you know which one I chose? The *kitten* one. Because I literally saw it all the time and I realized for the first time how much easier it is to get a workout in when the gym i *right there*. I got 5 workouts done in the week I spent there and only 2 workouts at the better gym which was a longer commute. And the nicer gym took a bigger chunk of time out of my day.
Anyway, my point being that people are going to judge you whether or not you're at the gym. Yes, it's scary, but *kitten* them. I'm just trying to live my life, and you're trying to live yours. And it sucks that I'm the only obese person at that gym. It's humiliating and scary. But I have a right to that space as much as they do, and they don't get to deny me that just because they have a sense of superiority over me.7 -
lol MFP edits my swears to "kitten."1
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In the context it's being used here, "natty" = "natural" (i.e., not taking anabolic steroids/performance enhancing substances)0 -
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OP - I think its FABULOUS you lift with your kids/squat/weights, workout. Keep it up. And go slow with them as they are learning. If the others want to "work in" tell em NO. I used to lift/bench/squat w/son years ago, he still remembers it. We didn't pay any attention to anyone else and honestly its quite cool to see a mom working out like that with her kids.
You ROCK in my book.
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So people judge others as they have since the dawn of time? Shocking information!2
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ValleyHooper wrote: »One reason I refuse to go to a gym. I would rather workout at home and not deal with other people's crap. Some people are so rude. I am sorry you had to deal with that.
That, and your snakes would probably freak them out.
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The irony is that this is now the OP''s third thread created to complain about the other patrons of her gym.14
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »OP, that behaviour is unacceptable. You need to talk to the gym mgmt. And then, whether they act on it or not:
1. Leave a very negative yelp review
2. Leave a very negative FB review
And in both cases, highlight that the management turns a blind eye to bad behaviour.
And that would force them to send newsletters, and run tickers on the big flat screens.
I reported and raised a scene with gym management one time and now they run a ppt slide on the big screen as to how courtesy matters and violators will be punished.
Even if the gym management acted on your complaint you would leave negative feedback on yelp and Facebook highlighting management turns a blind eye?
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amyinthetardis1231 wrote: »The irony is that this is now the OP''s third thread created to complain about the other patrons of her gym.
Yep yep. Checking post histories often can change one's reading of a post.9 -
If it makes you feel any better, I'm guessing Mr. Shineyhead has small nuts!!3
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Someone who looks like a new member (for example, has not been at the gym for a while and no one recognizes him/her) does something that looks dangerous and also has a kid there. I cannot understand why it is rude for another member (the girl in this case) to point out that this is a situation where an accident could happen (bar too high). It has happened to me to be told I was doing something wrong, and no matter if the person commenting is 20 years younger or 20 years older, there are three things to reply, depending on the situation: "thank you" (general polite reply, no need to engage in further conversation or get into details) or "yeah I know, trying to fix this" (and then you can explain if you feel in the mood) or even "hmm, can you show me what you mean?" (in case you thing this person might actually have noticed something you have missed, which can happen, even if you have been lifting for 50 years).
The girl telling the OP she had the bar too high, I cannot see why it was a nasty comment, it sounds like a reasonable concern. On the other hand, OP seeing this as an opportunity to discuss the girl's body (and in a way that could easily mean "if you wanted a toned body, you might get there by the time you are 20 years older") could be easily interpreted as nasty.
OP, how people react to you, it often is a matter of how you perceive the initial situation. Perhaps you not feeling confident in your body, or feeling judged in front of your kid, made you own attitude seem bad or your tone weird, hence the conversation about you. Perhaps, had you replied in the beginning, "thanks for pointing this out, I had already noticed, weird how tall my child is now" and left it at that, things would have proceeded in a different way?
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Someone who looks like a new member (for example, has not been at the gym for a while and no one recognizes him/her) does something that looks dangerous and also has a kid there. I cannot understand why it is rude for another member (the girl in this case) to point out that this is a situation where an accident could happen (bar too high). It has happened to me to be told I was doing something wrong, and no matter if the person commenting is 20 years younger or 20 years older, there are three things to reply, depending on the situation: "thank you" (general polite reply, no need to engage in further conversation or get into details) or "yeah I know, trying to fix this" (and then you can explain if you feel in the mood) or even "hmm, can you show me what you mean?" (in case you thing this person might actually have noticed something you have missed, which can happen, even if you have been lifting for 50 years).
The girl telling the OP she had the bar too high, I cannot see why it was a nasty comment, it sounds like a reasonable concern. On the other hand, OP seeing this as an opportunity to discuss the girl's body (and in a way that could easily mean "if you wanted a toned body, you might get there by the time you are 20 years older") could be easily interpreted as nasty.
OP, how people react to you, it often is a matter of how you perceive the initial situation. Perhaps you not feeling confident in your body, or feeling judged in front of your kid, made you own attitude seem bad or your tone weird, hence the conversation about you. Perhaps, had you replied in the beginning, "thanks for pointing this out, I had already noticed, weird how tall my child is now" and left it at that, things would have proceeded in a different way?
This is pretty much what I thought when I read the OP. I always find it amazing that some people seem to meet all the arseholes where ever they go and they never seem to realise that maybe the arsehole isn't the people they are meeting...18 -
JoRocka, agree to disagree. She didn't say he randomly walked up and started yelling. She said she caught them talking about how stupid she was, and when she called them out on it, dude started screaming.
As far as being an adult and figuring out "if" you "let" that affect you or not . . . different people with different personalities are affected differently by events in their lives (good or bad). I wish it was just as simple as deciding. Granted, I am older now, and I don't let people slide on their rudeness. That helps, no regrets of wishing I had said something.
Well, we only know her side of the story too. Maybe she was super confrontational both times. From her paragraph, you can tell she had preconceived notions about the other people. Since she had already stereotyped them, they may have been doomed from the start in an interaction with her, regardless of their actual demeanor.6 -
Wow. Another lucky person who has never been treated like crap by a total stranger and so assumes that the OP must have been the offender. While I can see your point as to how the 20 year old might have taken OP's comment the wrong way, I disagree with your assertion about how some people (me being one of them) seem to meet all the arseholes and never seem to realize . . . . Go back and read my examples. And explain to me how I was the arsehole in those situations. On second thought, don't. Too many people on this thread have already all but called OP an out and out liar. I'm sure the same is in store for me.0
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