Have you ever been "fit shamed"?

FatPorkyChop

I'm petite and usually train 5 times a week (for 40 minutes / 1h), I do cardio, strenght, pilates, classes that I like. So I look fit but not bulky at all.
When I lost weight and started exercise, Some colleagues labbelled me as "gym rat" or "gym junky". One day, a colleague sent me a picture of Ronnie Coleman and told me that I was trying to look like that..... I was a bit shocked and it got me thinking.... I started to pay attention to all the comments and a lot are negative, it seems to bother people that I train regularly. Some tell me that I train too much and that is silly to train like that, or that I am not an athlete and don't understand my purpose. It doesn't bother me really as I always loved sports and I feel great training. I also know that my training regime is far from being extreme... but why does it bother them?

Did you have any similar experience?

theskinnyonme

Theyre putting theyre own inadequacy off on you. You can tell them you wont worry about their health and weight if they wont worry about youre workouts.

Christine_72

I think this is called projecting. Putting you down makes them feel better about their lack of fitness/exercise.

sammyliftsandeats

Pay no attention to that crap.

SCoil123

I've had a few people tell me I'm obesessed or make comments about how I need a new hobby. I brush it off. I work out about an hour a day and vary the types of work outs I do. I enjoy it. It makes me feel good. Plus the people who have made the comments don't work out and complain constantly about their weight.

Machka9

Have you ever been "fit shamed"?

Nope ... never.

If I'm doing something I enjoy doing and can afford to do and is not hurting anyone and is good for me, I can't be shamed.

Aside from which, everyone has their own thing.

A number of years ago a co-worker was kind of bugging me about my bicycles and spending money on bicycles etc. ... and so I asked him about the new boat he just got. Oh. Um. Yeah. We each have our thing. Mine is bicycles, his was his fishing boats.

ninerbuff

At 53, nope. I get more praise and congrats for staying in shape and not letting it go than negative comments from people. Even if they did, who cares? If I let that affect me, then I do less than I do now and would have likely gotten out of shape. People will always have opinions. You don't have to acknowledge them though.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld

Opinions are like *kitten* holes, every body has one.

fuzzypinktroll1

I have thick skin luckily so i would follow their remarks with a snarky response. Maybe they dont realize their remarks are hurtful? Irregardlessly you should try not to let it bother you. Its a reflection of themselves feeling poorly of their own self. Maybe backfire with humor? Tell them you do it to look good naked

crackpotbaby

Maybe kinda; negativity, maybe jealousy but I wouldn't say 'shaming'.

When I had my children I gained 25kg with each pregnancy then lost it all very quickly afterwards. Other mothers in my social circle would make snide comments about it.

Later, when I played rollerderby and was in fantastic shape (due to training 8hrs per week) people at work would be snooty about my fitness levels and imply I was just lucky when in reality I worked damn hard for my fitness.,

Likewise when I was doing lots of cross fit and lifting, I was told in looked like a boy because I had a bit of muscle, or that I was getting too masculine (I was hardly muscly by anyone's definition, just lean and hard). Not soft enough to be feminine, apparently.

But really, people with b*tch and judge whatever your physical features or lifestyle choices.

I gave up caring about the sort that will carry on like that a long time ago.

ruqayyahsmum

Vast majority of comments i recieve are about how im too fat to exercise

I had one women loudly state that she doesnt have the time for stupid running. I told her good for you, i do

Her aim was clearly to embarrass me in front of others for the purpose of getting me to stop but tough its my life, my health and my buisness how much i run/go to the gym etc

Gallowmere1984

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »

Opinions are like *kitten* holes, every body has one.

Bah, this saying...at least the *kitten* serves a purpose.

kenyonhaff

FatPorkyChop wrote: »

I'm petite and usually train 5 times a week (for 40 minutes / 1h), I do cardio, strenght, pilates, classes that I like. So I look fit but not bulky at all.
When I lost weight and started exercise, Some colleagues labbelled me as "gym rat" or "gym junky". One day, a colleague sent me a picture of Ronnie Coleman and told me that I was trying to look like that..... I was a bit shocked and it got me thinking.... I started to pay attention to all the comments and a lot are negative, it seems to bother people that I train regularly. Some tell me that I train too much and that is silly to train like that, or that I am not an athlete and don't understand my purpose. It doesn't bother me really as I always loved sports and I feel great training. I also know that my training regime is far from being extreme... but why does it bother them?

Did you have any similar experience?

First: sorry, I've never had this happen to me but WOW how hurtful.

Second: Why do they get to decide or have any say on who is an athlete and what "your purpose" is? That seems very strange to me. I mean, what's wrong with being an athlete? And also why do they think that somehow can't be in addition to whatever else you do?

I think you need to arm yourself with two things: Surround yourself with people with a healthier attitude, (such as people at the gym, your roller derby crew, and MFP friends and so on) and a few handy phrases such as:
* "Yes, I love sports and going to the gym."
* "My physician fully supports my fitness regime."
* "Why don't we talk about [the other person's interest]..."

I really highlight the last phrase. We all tend to talk about our personal interests, but not everyone will be fully receptive, care, or appreciate. You might just be in an environment that for whatever reason does not support fitness. That's unfortunate. But obviously that hasn't stopped you, either!

So go forth to work today and find some other topics of discussion, be happy to be called a "gym rat", and don't let these people make you think "athlete" is some sort of bad thing. Geez!

sijomial

"You spend too much time exercising."

Gets the response....

"You spend too much time sitting on your fat *kitten*."

amusedmonkey

I wouldn't be too concerned by these comments. Change is hard to accept for people, so they express that in some odd ways sometimes. They're not used to seeing you go to gym that often and it makes them feel weird that you are now. Somehow it's like you're a "different person" all of a sudden and they need time to process that. They are also misinformed about what constitutes as overtraining, so they just compare it to their own level of activity and it looks extreme in comparison. For them it might as well be overtraining if they attempted to do what you are doing.

Personally, I rarely get any comments regarding my activity (a funny one I got was that my womb will fall out if I continued running). My sister is very much into crossfit and gym in general lately and mom does give her a few concerned comments because she goes 5 times a week and is having achy knees and shoulders from all the box jumps and military presses.

People are misinformed, comparing to their own experience, concerned, just want something to pick on for fun and feel your current activity would be a relatable topic, or simply want something random to say. I wouldn't be bothered by it and wouldn't think of them as explicitly shaming.

SweetPeasMom55

6 months ago I took the plunge and went after a better job after working at my job for 24 years. Old job no one took an interest in anyone's business. New job is very social every one is into everything lots of meals together. I have noticed especially with the meals as I am very careful I am told you have nothing to worry about. Lol That's because I am careful.

Steff46

Do like me and ignore it After years of snide remarks about my love for cycling, I've learned to keep it to myself. After work I surround myself with "like minded friends". I've even had bosses that once they found out about my cycling they've constantly commented on hating cyclists and sharing the road with them.........grrrr. I just ignore them and go on.
There was one coworker I didn't ignore, he told me that the cycling club (not me) was having races near his community and he planned to string wire across the road to teach them a lesson.......Oh My Gosh! I did tell the club about it just in case. But otherwise I ignore crazies.

deputy_randolph

I haven't had this problem; most of my new friends are actually from the gym. The majority of my old friends were overweight, and I think there was a little resentment (I was also overweight and then fit). Notice...I used the term "old friends."

As far as the co-workers go, I'd just send the guy a picture of Arnold and say I'd rather look like him. If you act like it doesn't bother you, it will stop...if it doesn't, save the emails and report it to HR.

MeanderingMammal

FatPorkyChop wrote: »

... but why does it bother them?

Maybe you're boring about it?

jemhh

Have never had this happen. I get good natured joshing sometimes. That's typically when I bruise or bang myself up and it's just a laughing "that's why I don't exercise. Don't want to get hurt!"

pondee629

FatPorkyChop wrote: »

I'm petite and usually train 5 times a week (for 40 minutes / 1h), I do cardio, strenght, pilates, classes that I like. So I look fit but not bulky at all.
When I lost weight and started exercise, Some colleagues labbelled me as "gym rat" or "gym junky". One day, a colleague sent me a picture of Ronnie Coleman and told me that I was trying to look like that..... I was a bit shocked and it got me thinking.... I started to pay attention to all the comments and a lot are negative, it seems to bother people that I train regularly. Some tell me that I train too much and that is silly to train like that, or that I am not an athlete and don't understand my purpose. It doesn't bother me really as I always loved sports and I feel great training. I also know that my training regime is far from being extreme... but why does it bother them?

Did you have any similar experience?

The answer is bolded. It doesn't bother you, so it shouldn't bother you, so it makes no difference why they say those things other than all folks are different. Why is it bothering you? (You posted it). Would it bother you as much if, if you liked Chardonnay, someone suggested you try Chablis? When did we start caring so much about what OTHER people thought? What happened to "do your own thing", "If you like it and it's not hurting anyone, do it" and "I'm my own person and will treat me, and my body, the way I want"?

How, if you are happy with yourself, or your efforts to improve, can ANYONE "shame" us over anything? Shame is only within, no one can force it on us.