The fear of getting fat again?

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I'm sure a few have been through this on here and would like some advice.

I've been fat all my life, even as a child, its only now at 35 I am thin after a big cut last year.

The issue is in order to build any serious muscle I'm gonna have to eat more but I am scared $hitless of getting fat again and its preventing me. I might eat over my TDEE for a day or two but if I see my weight going up at all I eat less the following day. Its happened so many time so strong is my fear.

I really need to trust the process but its really hard for a former fatty.

Any advice guys?

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