MFP Personals

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  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
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    OutOfUserName wrote: »
    if youre breathing and have 3 holes. im your guy

    :D You're a man of few words, I dig it.
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
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    OutOfUserName wrote: »
    if youre breathing and have 3 holes. im your guy

    Straight and to the point. I like it.
  • LaPrincipessaFedele
    LaPrincipessaFedele Posts: 483 Member
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    OutOfUserName wrote: »
    if youre breathing and have 3 holes. im your guy

    I guess I qualify. I might not be mean enough though
  • bufnitzoiu
    bufnitzoiu Posts: 147 Member
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    I love sharks, but unfortunately i'm poor :D:D
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
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    Seeking a fun lady to hang out with who will share her husband/boyfriend with me

    What you'll get:
    - time off from your relationship
    - to watch us you choose
    - backup for whatever you may need

  • Nitroalley2
    Nitroalley2 Posts: 3,419 Member
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    kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »
    OutOfUserName wrote: »
    if youre breathing and have 3 holes. im your guy

    Does one need to be awake?

    Totally optional
  • kesilvi1
    kesilvi1 Posts: 1 Member
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    This is both sad and humorous at the same time.
  • SEAHORSES4EVER
    SEAHORSES4EVER Posts: 1,553 Member
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    One position available for part time side Kik
    Person specification:

    ●understands they'll never understand me

    ●respects that I will get the ball gag out should they utter one word during my favorite movies

    ●gets that I will massage ego half the time and assassinate your character the rest of the time

    ●comprehends that I will never love you, not once, not ever

    This person (man or woman) must be willing to take an initiation test,pain threshold test, basic literacy and numeracy test and knowledge of how to please a female is highly desirable, one minute wonders need NOT apply.

    This person needs to be adventurous and able to make me laugh until I'm soiled at least 3 times a week. Failure to do so will result in time on my chair of pain and fury After two visits to chair of pain and furyyou will be automatically ghosted for good.

    Chance of promotion to mfp husband/wife with added benefits of public performance praise.

    I look forward to your applications,

    Yours hopefully,

    Not trying to be your real life wife
  • alekkammer21
    alekkammer21 Posts: 717 Member
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    Add me anyone:) I'd love a relationship on here
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
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    OutOfUserName wrote: »
    if youre breathing and have 3 holes. im your guy

    Please say you'll be mine :p ..
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Seeking a fun lady to hang out with who will share her husband/boyfriend with me

    What you'll get:
    - time off from your relationship
    - to watch us you choose
    - backup for whatever you may need

    Helllllllloooooo...
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
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    Must be popular and feared across The Caribbean and the coast of eastern North America not only because of your skilled naval tactics and bold actions but also because whenever you have contact with your victims, you strive to put the chills into their bones by mainly your looks.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
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    cee134 wrote: »
    Must be popular and feared across The Caribbean and the coast of eastern North America not only because of your skilled naval tactics and bold actions but also because whenever you have contact with your victims, you strive to put the chills into their bones by mainly your looks.

    I regularly clean the lent out of my naval. Is that close enough?

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