Anti-support... ("Stop losing weight!", Don't lose more weight!")

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Replies

  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    SephiraAllen wrote: »
    Something to consider though - even if some chart says that you have another 10-15 pounds to lose, that's just a guideline, what really matters is how you feel. Keep in mind as well that there is no one perfect weight, it's usually a range and depends a lot on an individual's body type. The range for a person who is 5'7" is something like 125 to 165, so if you are 160 you are within that range. Also, if you have lost a lot of weight, you may have loose skin and think you are still flabby/fat, but really you just need to tone up. That's not saying not to loose the extra few pounds that you want to loose, but just to consider working on toning at the same time and you'll probably see better results, even if your weight doesn't change much more.

    How do I start doing toning?
  • everher
    everher Posts: 909 Member
    I think at a certain point the change looks so drastic to outsiders that they become genuinely concerned. You look too thin to them compared with what you looked like before and they worry you might be developing some type of problem. Sure, I think some of it is hating on the part of other people, but with family I tend to think it's more concern than them being jealous or just not wanting you to be in shape.

    My aunt keeps going on about how thin I've gotten as well. In all fairness, when they were young my mother had an ED that she had to be hospitalized for. I'm sure my losing weight probably reminds my aunt of that and raises some concern in her mind.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Fatvaporizer wrote: »
    ...
    So I don't get it. Why do people keep telling me not to lose more as if I'm harming myself. They usually react in surprise telling me to stop losing more weight, when in fact, the above things I mentioned and listed are true.

    Here are the two most common explanations, in my experience:

    1. They aren't used to seeing you slim, so at a certain point they get a little freaked out. If you had been at your goal weight to start with, they would think it was perfectly normal and healthy because they'd be used to it. Change makes people uncomfortable.

    2. It's not about you, it's about them. Sometimes, when someone else makes positive changes (such as losing weight and getting fit) it reminds people that they AREN'T doing it, and it can be unconsciously uncomfortable for them to be confronted with that. Some people might consider it a threat - having someone else heavier around makes them feel better about themselves. I've heard that sort of thing a time or two. It can make some people defensive, and some jealous, but it can also help inspire and motivate as well.

    So just keep with the plan and ignore the stupid stuff that other people say and do. It says more about them than it does about you. B)
  • MoiAussi93
    MoiAussi93 Posts: 1,948 Member
    Wow...I can't believe so many people here are so hostile and view these comments as hating or jealousy or insulting.

    People say these things for various reasons...many of which have already been mentioned. Some are just trying to compliment you and assure you that you've made a huge change. They have good intentions.

    Some are just used to you the way you used to look. Any major change takes getting used to, and even though you have more excess fat to lose, they don't notice that because they are focusing on what you have lost.

    Some might be worried you will take it to an unhealthy level...blame that on the media obsession with eating disorders and the whole fat acceptance movement. Some people now get concerned even when people who need to lose weight do so.

    A few may just prefer the way you look now and don't like thin women. There is nothing wrong with this...we all have preferences. But the only opinions that matter in this regard are yours and your partner's.

    Bottom line...there is no need to react in a confrontational manner, so ignore those telling you to react in such ways. Be polite, thank them for their advice, and change the subject.
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
    I've gotten that response from a couple of family members myself. Questions on how much more weight I think I need to lose, opinions on the validity of the standard BMI charts, etc..
    My standard response is "my doctor says I'm at a good weight and that I'm more healthy than ever".


    I believe in some cases it's just hard for those we've been close to to get used to seeing our bodies sooo much smaller than what they've been used to seeing. Heck...sometimes when I see myself in the mirror it still kind of shocks me, lol!


  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    Interesting replies everyone. Always up to hear more. Thanks!
  • mihyun28
    mihyun28 Posts: 12 Member
    Don't stop!!! The say it because you did something they can't do. I lost 105 lbs. 245 down to 140 and I want to lean out and build a little more muscle. I could stand to lose 5-10 lbs. If I tell people that they'll say the same things.
  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    Yeah!
  • SephiraAllen
    SephiraAllen Posts: 78 Member
    Fatvaporizer wrote: »
    SephiraAllen wrote: »
    Something to consider though - even if some chart says that you have another 10-15 pounds to lose, that's just a guideline, what really matters is how you feel. Keep in mind as well that there is no one perfect weight, it's usually a range and depends a lot on an individual's body type. The range for a person who is 5'7" is something like 125 to 165, so if you are 160 you are within that range. Also, if you have lost a lot of weight, you may have loose skin and think you are still flabby/fat, but really you just need to tone up. That's not saying not to loose the extra few pounds that you want to loose, but just to consider working on toning at the same time and you'll probably see better results, even if your weight doesn't change much more.

    How do I start doing toning?

    This workout here would probably help. Or you can try the 7 Minute Superhero Workout app.

  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,344 Member
    Fatvaporizer wrote: »
    SephiraAllen wrote: »
    Something to consider though - even if some chart says that you have another 10-15 pounds to lose, that's just a guideline, what really matters is how you feel. Keep in mind as well that there is no one perfect weight, it's usually a range and depends a lot on an individual's body type. The range for a person who is 5'7" is something like 125 to 165, so if you are 160 you are within that range. Also, if you have lost a lot of weight, you may have loose skin and think you are still flabby/fat, but really you just need to tone up. That's not saying not to loose the extra few pounds that you want to loose, but just to consider working on toning at the same time and you'll probably see better results, even if your weight doesn't change much more.

    How do I start doing toning?

    http://www.aworkoutroutine.com/muscle-tone/

    ^ Everything you need to know about "toning".
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    My mom has been doing this since I joined MFP, so for about 5 years now. Says I need to stop losing when I still want to lose 10. But she's always been overweight, sometimes I wonder if it's jealousy or something, seriously. It's really a problem when she buys things I don't want (because I know I don't have the best self control these days). It's like she's trying to sabotage me. Ugh.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
    I don't know why people say those things. There is no point discussing it with them. Just say ok and carry on.
  • Fatvaporizer
    Fatvaporizer Posts: 139 Member
    I know right. It's like they act like they're concerned, but their concern is more of a nuisance for you and it's the opposite effect because you're trying to get healthy! :)

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