Tired of being a yo yo! Fighting the battle of being happy with me when husband wants me thinner:(

I have dealt with weight issues all my life. I am the epitome of the yo yo! I have always gone from thin to heavy to thin and so forth. I also have struggled with self-esteem and body image issues. Was at one point anorexic and now to heavy. I am 49 and 5'7". I have weighed anywhere from 94lbs to 183 at this height. I never want to go back to being to thin but I do recognize the need to lose weight and be healthy. My struggle is to balance being healthy but not going overboard. When I diet I tend to have problems losing weight unless I am really restrictive. Once I start to lose I find my mindset starts to go back to my days of being anorexic and it scares me so I tend to start being less restrictive and my weight climbs and I give up. But then I get drepressed either because I don't like how I look or my husband who likes me thin, thinner than I should be even, says something that drives me either to eat or start losing and becoming unhealthy. Tired of the cycle and tired of not feeling loved for who I am, not how I look. Would love friends for support and encouragement.

Replies

  • Numericmama373
    Numericmama373 Posts: 125 Member
    Hey.

    My husband is hyperfocused on my weight too. But not to the extreme weights your husband likes. He is fine with me bring 1 # overweight per my BMI.

    Oh and I'm 46.

    What I have found is that it really needs to be about me. Body shaming is not allowed. Neither is food policing. If he steps over he gets an immediate and firm "*kitten* off". That lets him know to step back.

    It's like training a dog. As I exercise and take ownership he backs up. And if he steps over, he is rebuffed. So far it's working.

    I'll friend you and you can message me to complain of you want.
  • ivetastic
    ivetastic Posts: 255 Member
    CauleneR wrote: »
    I have dealt with weight issues all my life. I am the epitome of the yo yo! I have always gone from thin to heavy to thin and so forth. I also have struggled with self-esteem and body image issues. Was at one point anorexic and now to heavy. I am 49 and 5'7". I have weighed anywhere from 94lbs to 183 at this height. I never want to go back to being to thin but I do recognize the need to lose weight and be healthy. My struggle is to balance being healthy but not going overboard. When I diet I tend to have problems losing weight unless I am really restrictive. Once I start to lose I find my mindset starts to go back to my days of being anorexic and it scares me so I tend to start being less restrictive and my weight climbs and I give up. But then I get drepressed either because I don't like how I look or my husband who likes me thin, thinner than I should be even, says something that drives me either to eat or start losing and becoming unhealthy. Tired of the cycle and tired of not feeling loved for who I am, not how I looWould love friends for support and I've encouragement.

    True love is blind! The only opinion that matters is yours. If you want to lose weight and be healthier then do it for yourself and not for anyone else. Sounds like your husband isn't realistic about what healthy should be if he wants you too thin. You can get healthy and tone up your body and if he doesn't like it then his loss!

    Anyways... you're more than welcome to add me. Hope you meet your goals
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
    @CauleneR , your opening post was 99% about your self-abuse and 1% about your husband 'says something'. Are you seeing a mental health professional? Perhaps you should.
  • ironjay37
    ironjay37 Posts: 136 Member
    I really have no words, I just wanted you to know that I read this and empathize with you, I pray your husband will have a change of heart because you are one of a kind, I pray today he'll wake up and see that.
  • CauleneR
    CauleneR Posts: 3 Member
    Jeromebarry1, actually I am and my husband and I are also both in therapy! Thanks!
  • CauleneR
    CauleneR Posts: 3 Member
    Ironja 31st, thank you so much!
  • LauraInTheWater
    LauraInTheWater Posts: 477 Member
    I'm sorry (not sorry) but I hate your husband after reading this. However, I sincerely do wish you the best of luck in your weight loss journey.
  • biejen
    biejen Posts: 9 Member
    Quickest way to lose a few hundred pounds is to drop that jerk of a husband you've got weighing you down. >:(