if my family is not on board, then whats the point?
Replies
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My solution at home is that my DD and myself prep and cook together and make the meal. That way she's learning how to. And I also let her give input.
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I cook dinner. People eat what I cook. I eat less of it because I am trying to lose weight.
I take into consideration the few food aversions that hubby and my son have, and work with it.
I also work 8-10 hours a day and cook dinner when I get home. I do the cooking. They eat what I cook. Period.9 -
I did all this separation of meals, etc. I put my foot down.
To be fair to my family, I did work on my cooking skills, got creative with modifying recipes to add more protein more veggies, etc to help me diet wise and I added a side or two to my my plate that others did not eat.. I able make meals that are enjoyable and fit the entire family, and more meals are shared than not. I don't have to stop enjoying certain foods to be on a diet either.
In the end for me, taking care of myself has been the best thing I could do for my family. We all meet somewhere in the middle, or they do their own thing, I have a lot more help because of the changes I made. It gets better, all this will workout for you! Good luck.7 -
kristie8351 wrote: »I have a partner and kids that have different tastes, I try to get them to eat what I, well we all should, but if there's no butter, cream, bacon or cheese its a no go...
At the end of my day I just want to relax and unwind,
How do we get family members involved, without it making them feeling obligated?
Eat less butter, eat less cream. eat less bacon or cheese. People have lost weight and maintained by doing this.
Make something for everyone and an extra side for you (veggies maybe). They can choose to eat what you've made, or they can make a peanut butter sandwich. You shouldn't have to be a short order cook.3 -
Love all the ideas coming in..... but when I work 8-10 hours a day.. and she is the one cooking dinner.... what do you do? I make request for certain foods.... and I get it about once a week maybe twice.
Eat less a smaller portion of what she makes, and supplement that with a side of veggies. Roasted veggies are simple, don't ask.......just do.3 -
Rand,
I work full time, get home late, and have 3 kids 4 and under I have to spend time with and out to bed. Since my wife cooks for her and the boys, I just cook for myself. It's all quick stuff like frozen grilled chicken, frozen vegetables, canned beans, etc. Every once in a while my wife makes something that jives with what I'm trying to do on my diet and I eat that.
I just decided I needed to take responsibility of my own diet and my own weight control.11 -
From about age 10 I cooked for myself if I didn't want what my mum had cooked, and often cooked a meal for the family each week. Getting the kids involved might help them take ownership and pride in the food they're eating instead of being picky.3
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Wow, just surprised you are cooking 3 different meals. You have totally spoiled your family and now feeling resentful about it. Not trying to be mean, but it is what it is. You have to stop thinking of your kitchen as a restaurant where the rest of the family can place their orders. You're not a short-order cook and it's not a diner.
I'm an empty nester now and my husband eats whatever I fix, but that wasn't always the case. At one point I had 3 teenage boys living at my house. I cooked one (large) meal a day for dinner and if they didn't like it they could fix their own or go hungry. They usually ate what I cooked, but there were plenty of meals at my house that were PBJs or cold cereal.
ETA: We also ate a lot of tacos and burritos. Just make all the fixings and they can make them however they want (or you can for the little ones). This is also something you can mostly prepare in advance so you're not stuck in the kitchen every evening.7 -
kristie8351 wrote: »I have a partner and kids that have different tastes, I try to get them to eat what I, well we all should, but if there's no butter, cream, bacon or cheese its a no go...
At the end of my day I just want to relax and unwind,
How do we get family members involved, without it making them feeling obligated?
This is what I'm making for supper. The other two choices are take it or leave it.
If you choose to leave it you can find something on your own or enjoy breakfast
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One of my favorite books growing up was "The All-of-a-Kind Family," about a large family living in a tenement house in New York City. One of the stories in it was about their rule for meals: No soup, no meat. No meat, no vegetables. No vegetables, no fruit. No fruit, no penny. One day, Sarah decides she doesn't want the soup and refuses to eat it. Well, when the rest of the family gets the other courses, Sarah's soup is left in front of her, uneaten, all the way to the end of the meal. She toughs it out until the next mealtime... when the soup is taken out of the icebox and put in front of her AGAIN. Horror of horrors!
Eventually, Sarah caves and eats at least a little of the despised soup and all ends happily. (It probably helps that the rest of the family sides with Mama and tells Sarah to eat her soup!) Don't know how that would fly in other families, but somehow the story has stuck with me.4 -
kristie8351 wrote: »Sorry you are all right and make so much sense... Thankyou all for supporting me..
I guess I'm just so wrapped up in what I should be eating, I just want everyone else to do the same... Its my weight not theirs..
I will try combining meals.. Fingers crossed
I think it's one thing if you are making three meals for actual medical reasons or one person is a baby. Or keeps Kosher or something.
A healthy man should be able to participate more in cooking or man up and deal with not having a special accommodation.3 -
FatWithFatness wrote: »Love all the ideas coming in..... but when I work 8-10 hours a day.. and she is the one cooking dinner.... what do you do? I make request for certain foods.... and I get it about once a week maybe twice.Love all the ideas coming in..... but when I work 8-10 hours a day.. and she is the one cooking dinner.... what do you do? I make request for certain foods.... and I get it about once a week maybe twice.
Then eat less or not at all at work.
So what do you think is fair?
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Rotate meal planning/cooking duties between yourself, SO, and the older kids? Have a family meeting to discuss your concerns and come up with a plan that hopefully they are willing to try. Even fixing 2 meals every night seems excessive. You are not a restaurant.0
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I wasn't trying to be negative about my initial statement. I just wanted to vent, and to see if anyone else had these issues themselves, and I wanted to receive ideas about how to work it... Thanks for all your help there is some really great ideas here2
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Time for some tough love. If you're cooking the meals they eat what you make. If they complain let them make their own.
Next issue. Not everyone you care about our love is going to go on this journey with you and be supportive. You have to do this for yourself. You can't do this for somebody else. It has to be all about you. Even though it sounds selfish it's the only way you'll succeed.
Most importantly you have to realize you're worth it and you deserve it. God bless and good luck in your journey6 -
STEVE142142 wrote: »Time for some tough love. If you're cooking the meals they eat what you make. If they complain let them make their own.
Next issue. Not everyone you care about our love is going to go on this journey with you and be supportive. You have to do this for yourself. You can't do this for somebody else. It has to be all about you. Even though it sounds selfish it's the only way you'll succeed.
Most importantly you have to realize you're worth it and you deserve it. God bless and good luck in your journey
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I love that you all are so passionate about this just as much as me.
I'm not hating my family or pissed off coz I cook for them, we all are that close, I guess I expect them without asking, for them to get on board...
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Hey, @kristie8351 your post resonated with me and took me back when I was a mother of two teens. My role was about to change and I felt like I was disappearing. After some deep soul searching I joined an art class. This new hobby absorbed me for the next four years. It was the first decision since my children were born that had nothing to do with taking care of the family.
I also went on "strike" in the kitchen. I just couldn't do it any more with the scant praise I was receiving. Gone were the home made sauces and cookies. In came the bargain box of generic cookies, canned sauces and Chinese noodles.
My children still mourn the death of the cookie decade.
When I read that you always cave after your protests, I was reminded of this time when I had to take a stand, to maintain my identity and be my own person.
Teenagers are naturally self absorbed. Complacent spouses, especially those who have snagged a partner who always caves, may assume that nothing will ever change.
It could be a very healthy thing for you to shake up the old order.9 -
I cook a low calorie dinner and add bread or a tub of mac-n-cheese/mashed potatoes/starchy dish for the rest.2
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You cook ONE meal and they have two options; take it or leave it. That's it.
That's how I grew up.
My mother, a nurse, cooked decent reasonably nutritious dinner meals ... usually along the lines of a piece of meat, a couple servings of veg, and a serving of starch.
And we had the choice of eating it ... or not.
Growing up, my whole family was slender and fit. We certainly didn't suffer with that approach.2
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