Everything is Changing!!!
Rebirth08
Posts: 174 Member
I need some feedback!
The other side of the fit life: The pounds are coming off, your body is changing. You're finally in the groove (maybe for the umpteenth time) of regular healthy eating and exercise. Then it's Friday night. After the hustle and bustle of work, my husband wants to do something other than eat dinner at home and watch TV. Frankly, I do too, but I have NO desire to eat out because restaurant food is usually a disappointment.
I like buffets because of variety, but I often fail at keeping portions right.
Hubby offered for us to eat Souper Salad because there are many ways to create a salad, but who really wants to go out to eat, only to eat a salad??
So anyway, what do we do? Happy hour? Ok, fine....that would be fun - a little liquid courage is always cool sometimes, but alcohol has the WORST set of empty calories! Shoot, a decent glass of tequila and juice is 300 calories! And I need at least 3 to be right, LOL. So nevermind. Then when I drink, I want to eat - and it's usually chips and dip, chicken wings....you get the picture.
So, have you all found yourself in this position: you yourself are on a fitness track, and while your family is supportive, they desire to do things that go against your goals?
What do you do?
My husband is a gem. He understands, because I explained it to him. But I want us to enjoy ourselves, just not always involving food and drinks. He said perhaps we can go kayaking tomorrow. That will be different for me. We're creating a new life....We're so blessed, but sigh at the growing pains, LOL
The other side of the fit life: The pounds are coming off, your body is changing. You're finally in the groove (maybe for the umpteenth time) of regular healthy eating and exercise. Then it's Friday night. After the hustle and bustle of work, my husband wants to do something other than eat dinner at home and watch TV. Frankly, I do too, but I have NO desire to eat out because restaurant food is usually a disappointment.
I like buffets because of variety, but I often fail at keeping portions right.
Hubby offered for us to eat Souper Salad because there are many ways to create a salad, but who really wants to go out to eat, only to eat a salad??
So anyway, what do we do? Happy hour? Ok, fine....that would be fun - a little liquid courage is always cool sometimes, but alcohol has the WORST set of empty calories! Shoot, a decent glass of tequila and juice is 300 calories! And I need at least 3 to be right, LOL. So nevermind. Then when I drink, I want to eat - and it's usually chips and dip, chicken wings....you get the picture.
So, have you all found yourself in this position: you yourself are on a fitness track, and while your family is supportive, they desire to do things that go against your goals?
What do you do?
My husband is a gem. He understands, because I explained it to him. But I want us to enjoy ourselves, just not always involving food and drinks. He said perhaps we can go kayaking tomorrow. That will be different for me. We're creating a new life....We're so blessed, but sigh at the growing pains, LOL
2
Replies
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Eating out is not that big of a challenge. If I'm trying to lose weight I favor places that allow for reasonable portions instead of buffet all-you-can-eat type establishments. Personally I never cared for happy hour type things, but a glass of wine with dinner is fine as well.
Keeping dining out simple makes it easier to log what you eat and arrive at a reasonable estimate. Your husband seems understanding, I'm sure he'd go along with that plan.0 -
Sounds like you are the one who is going against your goals, not your husband. He offered to take you somewhere where you could easily find a meal within your calorie goal. Then when you considered another option you couldn't imagine moderating your intake in order to stay within goal. Change your approach to dining out. It's not necessary to splurge every time. The point was supposed to be a night out with your husband, not the meal of the century.19
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Yeah I stopped caring. Many people know I've been here for awhile. I'm currently eating and drinking. I'm also happier though heavier.
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Honestly, I bank my calories throughout the week for date night, that way we can eat what we want without going over my calories for the week. I also try to workout the day of our date, so I can eat a few hundred more calories.
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I agree with jemhh. Instead of trying to figure out how you can make it work, you focus on why it might be difficult. You could have one drink instead of 3. Or wine instead of a mixed drink. You could have a healthy meal instead of wings and chips. You have control over what you eat and drink. You aren't helpless. If you want to enjoy a date with your husband, then figure out how to do it and not blow your diet.2
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How about a mixer other than juice for your drink. If you do a zero calorie mixer let's say diet ginger beer and rum AK a dark and stormy that would be delicious and also zero zero calorie in the mixer thus allowing more calories for the liquor. Also you can try going to a happy hour place and ordering Happy Hour appetizer portions these are generally smaller and you can log them in advance. Another good idea is why not due date night going dancing or bowling or some other activity that is physically active so that you guys are moving not just sitting there eating and drinking.5
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I do something like 'banking' my calories during the week ... not because I'll have a date night or a binge but because my calories vary from one day to the next. I do it by setting a low and high intake for the day and as long as I'm within that range I earn my silver star for staying within calorie limits. However, to keep it from getting top heavy, I have an additional goal that is the weekly average calorie to strive for. It's set at midway between the low and high range and if the weekly calorie average comes in within 50 calories either way of that number I get a gold star. Lots of simple math to do, but it gives me the leeway I need and the accountability to not let it creep.1
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Out if necessity, I've kind of figured this out. We have 3-4 places we go regularly and I have pre-planned menu options at each. I stick to 1 glass of red wine and stretch it through the meal.
You need to live life during weight loss and get some quality date time your SO.6 -
A bottle of red wine has about 500 calories. So half would be 250. Better bang for your calorie buck than than your tequila drink.
And as above, go for a diet mixer, that way you only have to worry about the tequila calories.
You could also plan ahead. Bank calories. If there is somewhere you like to eat that isn't disappointing or the temptation of a buffet then plan ahead and don't even open the menu when you get there.
It's not that hard. You're going to have to figure these things out in the long term too unless you plan on never going anywhere or doing anything that involves food or drink outside the home.2 -
Sounds like you are the one who is going against your goals, not your husband. He offered to take you somewhere where you could easily find a meal within your calorie goal. Then when you considered another option you couldn't imagine moderating your intake in order to stay within goal. Change your approach to dining out. It's not necessary to splurge every time. The point was supposed to be a night out with your husband, not the meal of the century.
I understand what you're you're saying.....You don't know me so you're judging my intentions based on one post. I don't want to limit us so severly (my husband and me), that's why I asked. The way you responded was unnecessary. But thanks for taking the time to say something.9 -
Eating out is not that big of a challenge. If I'm trying to lose weight I favor places that allow for reasonable portions instead of buffet all-you-can-eat type establishments. Personally I never cared for happy hour type things, but a glass of wine with dinner is fine as well.
Keeping dining out simple makes it easier to log what you eat and arrive at a reasonable estimate. Your husband seems understanding, I'm sure he'd go along with that plan.
He would....And that's a good option. He tried. I'm just questioning my own choices, that's all. It's time for me to let the buffet go and enjoy the time with him since he's flexible to my dietary needs.2 -
spiriteagle99 wrote: »I agree with jemhh. Instead of trying to figure out how you can make it work, you focus on why it might be difficult. You could have one drink instead of 3. Or wine instead of a mixed drink. You could have a healthy meal instead of wings and chips. You have control over what you eat and drink. You aren't helpless. If you want to enjoy a date with your husband, then figure out how to do it and not blow your diet.
I didn't say I was helpless! I wanted feedback because I often lack self control when I'm out but I know sabotaging time together due to my fear of food failure cannot become a norm. Maybe I should just talk with Jesus because the smart assness is unnecessary from you and that other poster. But thanks anyway.8 -
How about a mixer other than juice for your drink. If you do a zero calorie mixer let's say diet ginger beer and rum AK a dark and stormy that would be delicious and also zero zero calorie in the mixer thus allowing more calories for the liquor. Also you can try going to a happy hour place and ordering Happy Hour appetizer portions these are generally smaller and you can log them in advance. Another good idea is why not due date night going dancing or bowling or some other activity that is physically active so that you guys are moving not just sitting there eating and drinking.
Thank you! This is what I wanted...Advice and ideas....Not attacks (sorry, but rudeness is unnecessary)! Yes, those ideas are great and we will incorporate them. I have to keep allowing my mind to change on how I view food and social life. I don't have to eat bad Everytime I go out and I don't have to be afraid if going out. I'll find that balance. Thanks again4 -
Out if necessity, I've kind of figured this out. We have 3-4 places we go regularly and I have pre-planned menu options at each. I stick to 1 glass of red wine and stretch it through the meal.
You need to live life during weight loss and get some quality date time your SO.
Yeah yeah I know (smile)! That's why I asked. I felt bad (for declining hubby's request) but I'm so used to having control of my eating by cooking and prepping at home, so it was just easier to decline. That's why I reached out to mfp for ideas and encouragement because I don't want to stop 'living' just to be slim.0 -
VintageFeline wrote: »A bottle of red wine has about 500 calories. So half would be 250. Better bang for your calorie buck than than your tequila drink.
And as above, go for a diet mixer, that way you only have to worry about the tequila calories.
You could also plan ahead. Bank calories. If there is somewhere you like to eat that isn't disappointing or the temptation of a buffet then plan ahead and don't even open the menu when you get there.
It's not that hard. You're going to have to figure these things out in the long term too unless you plan on never going anywhere or doing anything that involves food or drink outside the home.
Um.... That's why I posted the question....To help figure it out. It may not be hard for you but it sure feels hard for me. But I will do it. My husband understands. I guess that's all that matters. Thanks for the advice though.0 -
Check out the web pages for menus. Find out the things that will fit in your calories and enjoy them. At least you CAN eat out, I'm allergic to milk and makes eating out VERY hard (Who knew there is milk in grilled chicken?)2
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ElizabethHanrahan wrote: »Check out the web pages for menus. Find out the things that will fit in your calories and enjoy them. At least you CAN eat out, I'm allergic to milk and makes eating out VERY hard (Who knew there is milk in grilled chicken?)
I will....Thank you.0 -
I bank calories too when I want to go out with my husband. Then I search the restaurant ahead of time to see what fits and tastes good because fits but makes me sad to eat simply won't do! I have banked this week and Sunday I'm having a chimichanga from our favorite Mexican place. 1000 calories without the sides! But be still my heart it's worth every one. Last Friday date night was painting pottery (very badly). And a much lower calorie dinner. Holding hands across the table and enjoying each other.
About the people who come across snarky I don't think they even know it's happening. My dad use to try to teach me math, and he is a genius (a beautiful mind sort of guy). But he couldn't get why I couldn't understand the "simple formula" he was trying to explain to me. So he just said the same thing louder and louder till we both were frustrated and I was still confused. I think some of these issues have become so simple to the long time people that they can't understand how it isn't simple to everyone. The intent is good, they want you to succeed, but the method on occasion comes across sharp.
And how blessed are you to have a man who supports and understands, that means in the end you two will figure it out together!5 -
maggibailey wrote: »I bank calories too when I want to go out with my husband. Then I search the restaurant ahead of time to see what fits and tastes good because fits but makes me sad to eat simply won't do! I have banked this week and Sunday I'm having a chimichanga from our favorite Mexican place. 1000 calories without the sides! But be still my heart it's worth every one. Last Friday date night was painting pottery (very badly). And a much lower calorie dinner. Holding hands across the table and enjoying each other.
About the people who come across snarky I don't think they even know it's happening. My dad use to try to teach me math, and he is a genius (a beautiful mind sort of guy). But he couldn't get why I couldn't understand the "simple formula" he was trying to explain to me. So he just said the same thing louder and louder till we both were frustrated and I was still confused. I think some of these issues have become so simple to the long time people that they can't understand how it isn't simple to everyone. The intent is good, they want you to succeed, but the method on occasion comes across sharp.
And how blessed are you to have a man who supports and understands, that means in the end you two will figure it out together!
Many hugs to you maggibailey!!! Thank you for your kind words. My feelings were a little hurt by some of the comments, but I saw the message in each one beyond the snarky-ness :-). I told my husband how I felt bad and that I came to MFP to get insight and we talked about different ideas and he said he totally understood why I didn't want to jump into temptation this evening. I told him that while I don't have much of a desire to eat out as much, whenever he DOES want to take me or our family out, I will not decline out of fear. I will be responsible, make a good choice, and keep it moving. We talked about other physical activity options on enjoying each other outside of work and home (we work together), and tomorrow, God willing, we are going kayaking! I've never done that before so I'm excited (I'm going to pack a healthy lunch, too, LOL)1 -
Then you will be just fine. Compromise is so very important. Side note we went on an Alaskan cruise this summer and the outing we did was kayaking. I loved it! If we didn't live in the middle of the desert I'd buy one to use often. So calm and relaxed out on the water. Bonus that I saw a whale a seal a bald eagle and held a giant starfish. I hope it is amazing for you both!1
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