Emotional about where I'm at

Smallville127

I was fine...I went out today with my son. Felt winded easily and it frustrated me. So I went online and came across a blog from a guy who weighed 420lbs at his highest. Said 9 things I hated about being morbidly obese. Reading that was like a Mac truck hit me in my heart. It hit home for me. It wouldn't take much for me to be at that weight and I am so ashamed of myself. I keep saying I'll start tomorrow... I'll kill it tomorrow..and tomorrow comes...I log in and that is it. I'm still screwing up I am totally unmotivated and now I feel so depressed. I wish I knew where to start. I have everything in line to do this except me... I'm crying typing this cause for the first time I feel completely hopeless.

eyrems

I feel the same way.

JaiRocket

Please don't feel hopeless. You actually are already taking a step. You are logging in. So good for you! Pick an attainable next step- even if it is just logging your breakfast. Give yourself a few victories to help you want to do more. I added in something each week when I started, and they were things I could do. Giving myself that positive reinforcement when I did them was what made me want to do more. This isn't all or nothing. Keep at it- and add me if you need a friend.

abirdintherain

You're not hopeless. You're here, you're fighting to try. You're just being your own worst enemy right now, but I believe in you. You are worthy and deserving of this opportunity to treat your body well. Don't be ashamed - we are all here because we've struggled. I promise you, you can do it. Read through the forums here, see the tips on the pinned threads, and just start small. MFP will tell you how many calories to lose weight and all you have to do is log your food. It's not something that will happen overnight, and you just have to keep trying. Even if it's hard. Because you deserve to live a full, active life with your family.

I believe in you!! There's so many people here who can help, and answers to all kinds of questions and difficulties. Just keep on keeping on!

pinuplove

Don't feel hopeless! You're in exactly the right place to take the first step. Don't feel like you must overhaul your entire life to be successful. The most successful people on this site made small, sustainable changes over a period of months and years.

I'd suggest you start by reading the posts stickied at the top of each sub-forum. Maybe browse a few success stories. Log what you eat, beginning right now. Don't even worry about a deficit yet, just completely and honestly log your intake for a few days to get the hang of it and see exactly what you're eating. Everything you need is right here

ladyhusker39

You're being too hard on yourself. The stress and guilt is making the problem worse.

BlueMacaroniArt

I think this is one of those things where you just have to make yourself start. Just be stubborn and call up all of your inner strength and just log your food. Whatever it is. In my experience once I do that part, it gets easier. Everything else start to happen. You lose the first few pounds and start to believe you can do it. You start to feel better just from your food choices. Soon everything will have changed and all it takes it for you to start. The day doesn't have to be perfect, just log it. You can do it! I know that first step is hard.... But you are not hopeless!

abirdintherain

eyrems wrote: »

I feel the same way.

I believe in you, too! All of the replies here apply to you, as well. You got this.

Dootzy1

Pinuplove has the idea! Baby steps! There has been a payoff for me in being overweight. I have to figure how to enjoy other payoffs.

chrystenfo

You don't have to be perfect, just better than yesterday. Or make this week better than last week.

I had a really hard time starting. I was unhappy, and knew what I had to do, just lacking the motivation. Then I read what I wrote above on MFP. My small change at first was healthy breakfast. I did that for a week. Then I added lunch. Still working on dinner, but most days I am better. Not anywhere near perfect.

heather4life4

Don't feel hopeless, pick one thing to do and be amazing at it. Slowly start to add things in. Believe in you!! So sorry to hear you are feeling this way. You can do this

pinuplove

chrystenfo wrote: »

You don't have to be perfect, just better than yesterday. Or make this week better than last week.

I had a really hard time starting. I was unhappy, and knew what I had to do, just lacking the motivation. Then I read what I wrote above on MFP. My small change at first was healthy breakfast. I did that for a week. Then I added lunch. Still working on dinner, but most days I am better. Not anywhere near perfect.

Adding to this, take perfect out of your vocabulary. I think the fear of failure, of not being perfect, prevents a good many people from ever getting started, and that's a shame. You don't have to be perfect, or even anywhere near it to succeed! We all have days we're not proud of. It's how you react to them that determines your success, not that they happened.

kommodevaran

I think most people easily could weigh 420 pounds. Because eating too much is easy. Starting to eat less tomorrow is super easy. But it's also what makes you cry today. Now it's time to stop crying and start doing. Eating less isn't that hard. But you need a plan.

I assume you've set up your account to weightloss? Then you have a calorie goal already. Use your food diary. Prelog one day of meals you would like to eat (made up of foods you have on hand or can buy in time), in amounts that in total hit your calorie target. Tomorrow, you follow that plan, and plan for the day after tomorrow. No killing necessary, no starving, no crying, just eating, cooking, and you can start moving when you feel up to that.

pinuplove

One more thought. If you think you may be dealing with clinical depression, start there. See your PCP for a plan of action if you haven't already. This may or may not include medication and therapy. Many times once the depression has been addressed, you'll be in a much better place to tackle everything else.

Skworon

Add me as a friend I would love to help any way I can. I also have lots of weight to lose. And getting heavier is easy,losing is easy too with some support. Over a 100 pounds to lose , trying it one day at a time.

Smallville127

Skworon wrote: »

Add me as a friend I would love to help any way I can. I also have lots of weight to lose. And getting heavier is easy,losing is easy too with some support. Over a 100 pounds to lose , trying it one day at a time.

Thank you x glad to have some positive influence.

gymprincess1234

If you don't have the motivation to do it for yourself, do it for your kid, he needs a parent that's a good example, healthy and lives as long as possible.

SuzieQ789

chrystenfo wrote: »

You don't have to be perfect, just better than yesterday. Or make this week better than last week.

I had a really hard time starting. I was unhappy, and knew what I had to do, just lacking the motivation. Then I read what I wrote above on MFP. My small change at first was healthy breakfast. I did that for a week. Then I added lunch. Still working on dinner, but most days I am better. Not anywhere near perfect.

This! It is so true. One meal at a time. If I think about making radical changes in everything, I get overwhelmed and depressed. One small step at a time. Even one little change at a time is a big step forward. If we mess up, we pick ourselves up and try again. No judgement - especially from ourselves! We are all here for one another.

FourWindsWalker

First off, youre not hopeless. If you were, you wouldnt be here and logging in. Kudos for that!

Be gentle with yourself. Find your self-worth. Remind yourself of your self-worth!

Not sure where to start? Whatever YOU feel is a positive step in the right direction is what you do. Drink a glass of water at one meal a day? March in place for the count of 5 during (a) commercial/s? Focus on that day and that day only. If focusing on the day is too much. Focus on the second. The minute. The hour.

At the end of the week, buy yourself a little something that is non-food related. (When I first started out, I bought myself a thing of bubbles. I would take them with me in the car and blow them out the window while stuck in traffic.)

Like the others have said: Small achievable steps.

I have faith in you..

Blessings to you and yours~

HDBKLM

I agree with all of the above. Baby steps. Start logging what you eat BUT don't actually change what you eat. Just put the information down there and start getting into the habit of doing so. Then a next baby step might be to start reducing the portion sizes of what you like to eat BUT don't change the food itself; i.e., don't leap toward so-called health foods suddenly. If and when you eventually start to make incremental changes in WHAT you eat (not just how much of it), think of it in terms of adding rather than taking away. For example it could be, 'I think I'll try adding sauteed spinach as a side dish to my steak and see how I feel about it' as opposed to 'I must stop eating starchy carbs!' Over the longer term, and without the psychology of deprivation, you may find the new additions slowly crowding out the old habits. And if they don't, they don't. Portion control/calorie deficit is the main thing for the for weight loss. Nutrition is a separate issue.

Also, if we're taking baby steps here, don't add in any specific exercise that you don't already do as part of your normal routine. Give it a week or two or three until your other baby steps are taken and you're feeling comfortable. Then, if you've been really sedentary, as little as walking a couple of times around the block will make a difference. More rigorous exercise, gym memberships, and all that stuff can be for another day.

And I as several others have said, don't set yourself a goal of perfection. When I first started tracking my food intake 9 months ago I went FANTASTICALLY over my allotted calories on just the fourth day and was sooooo discouraged. The best move I made at that point was just to keep going anyway. I'm now 75% of the way to my (initial) goal weight. When you think about it, a day going fantastically off the rails means you reach your goal weight one day later. It does NOT mean you've ruined everything and may as well give up. Plus, you have to live your life, right? Maybe you went off the rails not because of a failure of 'will power', maybe you did because it was your child's birthday party and you wanted to indulge in some cake and pizza with the family as you build new happy memories. Don't feel guilty and don't segregate yourself into the 'dieting monastery'. Just get back to it the next day. As you'll often see on the MFP forums, Calories In Calories Out (CICO) as an approach to weight loss is dead simple. That is, it's not easy but it's simple. No magic foods, no special techniques or equipment you need to buy. Just keep track. And as you've done here, reach out whenever you feel the need. There are loads of like-minded folks here on the boards.

cmrt1

I felt/still feel the exact same way. I kept telling myself that I will do it. Well a year passed and I still had not done anything. I simply was not motivated. I woke up one Sunday and set a simple goal of tracking everything I ate that day. That turned into me doing it every day except a few days here and there. Start with small goals. I believe it you! You got this! ❤️