Bulimia. Please don't judge me, I need help.

kitfulofstarling

First of all, thank you for wanting to get better. Not many people can find it in themselves to reach out and actually ask for help. What I did was instead of going to the bathroom after I ate I would immediately go outside and walk/run. The more I did that, the less I had a desire to purge after eating. Early in my recovery stages I would go for a walk for an hour or two and then come back, get bored, beat myself up, and try to throw up again..two hours later makes it a bit more difficult. I would do this everyday to the point where I just didn't want to try anymore cuz it was too much of a pain in the butt.

If you don't want to go for a walk or run, just replace it with a different form of exercise. By the time you're through with it, you'll be so proud of yourself for doing it the right way instead of risking your health to get thinner. I started making my primary focus to get healthier, not skinnier, but healthy. Once I got that into my head, it was amazing at how much I DIDN'T want to throw up. Sure every now and then I have that thought pass through my mind, but I know its extremely unhealthy and that tomorrow is a brand new day.

You already stated that you like eating healthy food, that's perfect. Just stop there. It's already good for you, you're getting the nutrients you need, now focus on burning the calories off instead of purging. I'm not saying you should go and workout for 6 hours straight and burn every calorie you ate, but try and create a deficit. I promise you, it pays off in the end. I've lost over 60lbs just watching my calorie intake and exercising. Sure it takes awhile longer, but its much more beneficial, and I actually feel healthier.

All that being said, good luck on your journey, and I really hope you can put this behind you. :flowerforyou:

Such a good advice. I think I can take it as well, I don't purge myself, but I do have guilty feelings when I eat a bit more than I should. I'll take this tips for myself!

MyJourney1960

sending you lots of hugs and also urging you to seek professional help. I can imagine that you are going through a very stressful and painful time. There is help out there - please reach out for it.

D

lua_

See a doctor. Keep thinking of your health when faced with eating normally and not purging.

T0FatToB3S1ck

I'm bulimic myself. If you want to talk feel free to message me. This community isn't "supportive" of people with EDs. They are quick to report anything you type about the subject even if you are not encouraging it and are trying to recover.

T0FatToB3S1ck

First of all, thank you for wanting to get better. Not many people can find it in themselves to reach out and actually ask for help. What I did was instead of going to the bathroom after I ate I would immediately go outside and walk/run. The more I did that, the less I had a desire to purge after eating. Early in my recovery stages I would go for a walk for an hour or two and then come back, get bored, beat myself up, and try to throw up again..two hours later makes it a bit more difficult. I would do this everyday to the point where I just didn't want to try anymore cuz it was too much of a pain in the butt.

If you don't want to go for a walk or run, just replace it with a different form of exercise. By the time you're through with it, you'll be so proud of yourself for doing it the right way instead of risking your health to get thinner. I started making my primary focus to get healthier, not skinnier, but healthy. Once I got that into my head, it was amazing at how much I DIDN'T want to throw up. Sure every now and then I have that thought pass through my mind, but I know its extremely unhealthy and that tomorrow is a brand new day.

You already stated that you like eating healthy food, that's perfect. Just stop there. It's already good for you, you're getting the nutrients you need, now focus on burning the calories off instead of purging. I'm not saying you should go and workout for 6 hours straight and burn every calorie you ate, but try and create a deficit. I promise you, it pays off in the end. I've lost over 60lbs just watching my calorie intake and exercising. Sure it takes awhile longer, but its much more beneficial, and I actually feel healthier.

All that being said, good luck on your journey, and I really hope you can put this behind you. :flowerforyou:

I'm guessing you never heard of Exercise Bulimia. You go and work out instead of throwing up to burn the calories you just consumed. The exercise is just another form of purging. It just switches her from throwing up to working out hardcore and fasting. One step closer to Anorexia...

lindustum

You should seek professional help. Yes, self-help websites and internet forums can be great, but I think they are best used alongside, not instead of, professional help.

My first instinct personally would be to see a therapist, not a ED specialist because as you say you went through a rough patch and you don't share your struggle. As people have already mentioned, addressing the underlying issues might help you more than treating your current behaviour as an isolated problem- but that is only under the assumption that you have no imminent health risks... everybody here can only guess what you need, so - really- seek out SOMEONE that you feel most comfortable sharing with.

Once you got it out, it will be easier to speak to others as well. If a councilor refers you to a specialists instantly, it might already be much easier for you.

pearson114

I'm sorry I don't know enough regarding bulimia or eating disorders to offer any meaningful help or advice, but I just wanted to wish you (and anyone else going through similar experiences) the best of luck in your recoveries.

Keep strong!

StrawberryThief

That really sucks, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

Other than a little not-eating as a teenager, I really am unable to relate but I know enough to be aware that recognising the issue and wanting help for it is a huge first step. you've recognised it's not making you happy and you're no longer in control of this situation, and that's really brave and brilliant.

Honestly, though, the internet really can't help with this one. Posting somewhere where you know your situation might be received with hostility isn't going to help you. I'd suggest getting in touch with your healthcare provider, or with a charity that can offer you advice and support.

Good luck xx

mareeee1234

Hey girl !

I used to go through phases of purging every day, multiple times. It stopped when I started to exercise and make exercise my ROUTINE. I made exercise "my thing". I would go to the gym everyday and get a good workout in, in combination with calorie counting (an appropriate healthy amount)

This is just what helped me, and I have read that other bullimics found getting into an exercise routine helped them. Make FITNESS your passion!

Focus on getting fit and healthy, and hopefully it will all come together! You will look amazing too and feel amazing and healthy. You want to be happy and healthy? The key is finding the balance, find what works for you and live a healthy balanced life

All the best! xxxxxxxxxxxx :flowerforyou:

whatsmynameagain123

You should seek professional help. Yes, self-help websites and internet forums can be great, but I think they are best used alongside, not instead of, professional help.

My first instinct personally would be to see a therapist, not a ED specialist because as you say you went through a rough patch and you don't share your struggle. As people have already mentioned, addressing the underlying issues might help you more than treating your current behaviour as an isolated problem- but that is only under the assumption that you have no imminent health risks... everybody here can only guess what you need, so - really- seek out SOMEONE that you feel most comfortable sharing with.

Once you got it out, it will be easier to speak to others as well. If a councilor refers you to a specialists instantly, it might already be much easier for you.

Thank you. I've thought about telling my best friend as I know I can trust her. But again I know she'll worry about me and will probably assume that things will escalate more with this and it will be something she'll worry about forever, I don't want her to have to worry about me. I just want to be able to control myself. I think I do have an irrational fear of becoming huge again. But I know this is not the way. I already feel it affecting my health, my skin has become dry and my hair is gone cr*p, and I'm freezing cold most of the time. I get the shakes too. And I only have myself to blame. I'm going to start looking for someone to talk to and will think some more about whether to tell my friend. Thanks x

mareeee1234

I'm a very suffer alone type of person as unhealthy as that may sound. I prefer to handle things by myself. I could NEVER tell my family, friends or my partner about this problem for many reasons. I guess I feel like now that I've recognised how serious the problem is, and want to end it, I feel that if anyone knew, it would be something that people would always be worried about or be watching out for. I don't want that. I just want to get better, by myself, and get past it.

You just quoted me I'm pretty sure. Only a few friends know.. but NO family knows about my purging, my starving, my depression that I had. Defs got through it alone and with MFP!

StrawberryThief

Telling people isn't always the best thing for everyone. Some people depend on the support, but some of us just aren't the sharing kind, and that's cool to. If you don't want to tell your friends, then don't. and if some day you think you might like to, go for it. Whatever's better for you is fine.

billsica

You set up a second account to not disappoint your MPF followers, that violates the TOS. That is grounds for a perma-ban.

10. Multiple Accounts Are Not Allowed

Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension is not permitted and will be grounds for a permanent ban from the site.



That being said, I am so sorry, and I empathize with you. I wish you would get a the help you need and a place you could ask these questions in anonymity. No one should have to suffer.

Miss_dannii

.

Miss_dannii

You set up a second account to not disappoint your MPF followers, that violates the TOS. That is grounds for a perma-ban.

10. Multiple Accounts Are Not Allowed

Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension is not permitted and will be grounds for a permanent ban from the site.



That being said, I am so sorry, and I empathize with you. I wish you would get a the help you need and a place you could ask these questions in anonymity. No one should have to suffer.

I think it's really unfair of you to point that out when the OP was asking for help

lithezebra

I had similar problems in my teens. My advice is to find a good therapist, treatment program, or clinic. Eating disorders aren't something to mess around with, and you've already elected not to confide in people you know.

billsica

You set up a second account to not disappoint your MPF followers, that violates the TOS. That is grounds for a perma-ban.

10. Multiple Accounts Are Not Allowed

Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension is not permitted and will be grounds for a permanent ban from the site.



That being said, I am so sorry, and I empathize with you. I wish you would get a the help you need and a place you could ask these questions in anonymity. No one should have to suffer.

I think it's really unfair of you to point that out when the OP was asking for help

I didn't make the rules. I think the rules are unfair. I don't want the OP to be banned permanently from the site, I just wanted to point it out when I reported the post for violating TOS. It really sucks if you ask me.

StrawberryThief

You set up a second account to not disappoint your MPF followers, that violates the TOS. That is grounds for a perma-ban.

10. Multiple Accounts Are Not Allowed

Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension is not permitted and will be grounds for a permanent ban from the site.



That being said, I am so sorry, and I empathize with you. I wish you would get a the help you need and a place you could ask these questions in anonymity. No one should have to suffer.

.... seems like you'd rather nitpick than empathise. Why report it if you empathise? I suspect the no multiple account rules is in place to stop abuse, not to filter out people genuinely in need of a little help.

whatsmynameagain123

You set up a second account to not disappoint your MPF followers, that violates the TOS. That is grounds for a perma-ban.

10. Multiple Accounts Are Not Allowed

Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension is not permitted and will be grounds for a permanent ban from the site.



That being said, I am so sorry, and I empathize with you. I wish you would get a the help you need and a place you could ask these questions in anonymity. No one should have to suffer.

I think it's really unfair of you to point that out when the OP was asking for help

I didn't make the rules. I think the rules are unfair. I don't want the OP to be banned permanently from the site, I just wanted to point it out when I reported the post for violating TOS. It really sucks if you ask me.

That wasn't necessary. I'm not hurting anyone and I was only asking for advice anonymously.

Amyp7777

"Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension"- That was NOT the purpose of this second account. It does not violate the rules. Don't be that person.

OP, I am not educated on ED's but I do feel for you. Thank you for being so honest. I hope you get the help you need.