encouraging someone to eat

Amandawith3kids

withOUT having them developing an eating disorder.

my 12 yr old dd is on meds that suppress her appetite, and on her last checkup, she LOST 2 pounds (which is a big deal for a 12yr old girl) shes already super thin, and i serve her appropriate amounts at dinner, but i know shes not eating enough. i dont want to push, and i dont want her to obsess and end up with a disorder, but the girl needs to EAT! shes not with me all day, with school and joint custody with her father (where she eats junk grrr)

she says shes full, and she probably does feel that way. she knows she needs to eat more, and that she's not hungry due to meds.

stopping her meds is not an option, and all the meds for her condition have the same side effect, so thats no help either. on the days she doesnt take her meds, she does eat well. (or enough, but not "well" at her fathers house)

PRMinx

Tough one. Does she like calorie dense foods like peanut butter and avocado?

jshay295

Do you have a blender ? Lots of kids think smoothies are a treat, which they can be, but you could stock it full with full fat frozen yogurt, lots of fruits and maybe sneak in some veggies! A great way to get in extra calories is to drink them. (Through healthy options, of course).

Do you already drink full fat milk in your house? Little tweaks like this are great ways to get in some extra calories.

Amandawith3kids

pb, yes, nutella even more. not sure on the avocado. i dont like them and tend to not buy them. i can get one for this weekend when she'l be home.

Amandawith3kids

Do you have a blender ? Lots of kids think smoothies are a treat, which they can be, but you could stock it full with full fat frozen yogurt, lots of fruits and maybe sneak in some veggies! A great way to get in extra calories is to drink them. (Through healthy options, of course).

Do you already drink full fat milk in your house? Little tweaks like this are great ways to get in some extra calories.

the blender is about dead. i could probably swing one soon, but not right now.

we do buy skim milk, because everyone else in the house is either a healthy weight (other 2 kids, and hubby) or overweight (myself and my mom) maybe 2% would be a good compromise.

healthyplans

I understand. I have a 12 year old son that is not on meds, but doesn't really eat that great either. He says he is just not hungry. He has always been a grazer. Makes it hard when they are at school and have an allotted time to eat.
I am curious as to what answers you get. I could use some help in that area as well. I hope you get answers that are helpful for you

PRMinx

I think the trick is to maximize the calorie intake in everything she does eat so that, even if her volume is low, she is still getting enough calories. Meat, avocado, PB, Nutella, nuts, cheese....all good foods that pack a calorie punch at a low volume.

rml_16

Is her doctor worried? She's at an age where slimming out into her adult body is actually normal. And some people aren't big eaters. I never was and was very clim until my late 20s.

I dropped from a size 9 to a size 3 between 7th and 10th grades just from my hormones regulating.

I think if her doctor isn't worried and you don't think she's deliberately trying to lose weight then you might not want to do anything.

Amandawith3kids

Is her doctor worried? She's at an age where slimming out into her adult body is actually normal. And some people aren't big eaters. I never was and was very clim until my late 20s.

I dropped from a size 9 to a size 3 between 7th and 10th grades just from my hormones regulating.

I think if her doctor isn't worried and you don't think she's deliberately trying to lose weight then you might not want to do anything.

not sure. her father took her to her last appt, i was sick and couldnt go. and her father is an *kitten* and wont tell me anything.

rml_16

Is her doctor worried? She's at an age where slimming out into her adult body is actually normal. And some people aren't big eaters. I never was and was very clim until my late 20s.

I dropped from a size 9 to a size 3 between 7th and 10th grades just from my hormones regulating.

I think if her doctor isn't worried and you don't think she's deliberately trying to lose weight then you might not want to do anything.

not sure. her father took her to her last appt, i was sick and couldnt go. and her father is an *kitten* and wont tell me anything.

Call the office and ask questions.

hlm711

chocolate or yogurt covered nuts/dried fruit
banana chips
milkshakes made with fortified milk/ice-cream
PB and nutella on toast
If she isnt keen on avacados in their natural state-mash them up into guacamole dip and serve with tortilla chips!

Happymelz

Question: Is she aware of the concern? If not, please don't make a big deal out of it but figure out ways to up her calories.
I struggled with eating disorders in high school.
Ice cream as a treat has protein, fat, and calcium.
Or, peanut butter and trail mixes as a snack.
Honestly though...think back to when you were that age. If you started gaining/developing at her age it may not be an issue for very long, if that makes sense.

abeare

Talk to the dr. If he’s worried about her not getting enough nutrients I then definitely agree with the smoothies or juicing option. It’s not high on calories so it may not make a huge dent in her weight but at least you know you’re adding some greens to her diet. A juicer offers more veggie options (spinach/pineapple, carrot/orange, beets/berries, etc…) and in the summer you can even make popsicles, a treat that everyone can enjoy.

Collier78

Definitely call her doctor. As her parent you can ask those questions. If he isn't concerned, you shouldn't be. However, you can start keeping the higher fat snacks in the house for her. Maybe make up a snack box with those items and put it in her room where it is easily accessible, but not hanging out in front of you. Best of luck!

Amandawith3kids

Question: Is she aware of the concern? If not, please don't make a big deal out of it but figure out ways to up her calories.
I struggled with eating disorders in high school.
Ice cream as a treat has protein, fat, and calcium.
Or, peanut butter and trail mixes as a snack.
Honestly though...think back to when you were that age. If you started gaining/developing at her age it may not be an issue for very long, if that makes sense.

she knows she lost weight, and she knows she's supposed to be eating more.

i was super skinny without the meds at her age, but i was closer to a normal body weight. i was already getting af at her age, and shes just developing, so at the point she should be storing more body fat in preparation for puberty. i didnt gain weight until i got pregnant with her.

i AM worried about making too much a big deal out of it and triggering an eating disorder. i guess i can take the approach of "making healthy choices" vs "eating more" and just encourage some of the higher fat/calorie dense foods for her. i'm pretty sure my 6 yr old has the same condition and will need meds to, so i'll be doing this all over again with her, although i make ALL her meals, no joint custody situation with her.

rml_16

i AM worried about making too much a big deal out of it and triggering an eating disorder.

Don't do anything before you talk to her doctor. If he isn't worried, you shouldn't worry.

Some kids are skinny and that doesn't mean there's something wrong. Don't force her to eat beyond hunger unless you suspect a psychological issue (developing an actual ED). That is a terrible habit to start.

Galatea_Stone

Take her out for milkshakes more often. Get her the large and just call it a girls' day out.

Don't make a deal of it. Just give her things that are more calorie dense.

SapiensPisces

Take her out for milkshakes more often. Get her the large and just call it a girls' day out.

Don't make a deal of it. Just give her things that are more calorie dense.

^ This. Don't mention that you're pushing more calorie dense foods. Just make it part of the family meals and outings. Wishing you all the best.

fificrazy

At 12 years old, the energy content of food should be prioritized way before the nutritional profile. If she's actually willing to eat "junk", you should encourage that. She's losing weight right now- that's actually really damaging at her age.

The body doesn't discriminate against energy sources. It doesn't know good or bad, and 200 calories of easily digestible chips or candy would be utilized by it much faster than it could get 200 calories out of veggies and whatnot.

Just had to get that otu of the way...

As for increasing her intake without making it a big deal, you can easily add oils and butter to her foods before serving them. Add protein powders to her milkshake. And flax seeds, hemp seeds, etc to dinner dishes. Serve juice and milk at meals instead of water. Always keep a yummy dessert at hand (cake, bars, cookies). These are easy ways to increase her calories without bringing up her intake, and this way she can take in a few hundred extra calories per meal without eating a larger volume and feeling overly full.

jshay295

Here's another snack idea : make a relatively healthy trail mix, with some nuts, seeds , and dried fruit, and throw in some m&m's or other small chocolates. I agree with the posts about not necessarily making her eat MORE, just more calorie dense foods And with the recommendations about not making it a big deal to her,especially if the doctor hasn't expressed concern. At such a young age it could effect her for the rest of her life. As others have said she is going through hormone changes and her body may naturally be thinning out. Two pounds could really be attributed to having to go to the washroom and wearing heavier close at her last weigh in, really.

Do you serve pasta in your house? Great way to add calories to that is to make it with meat sauce, and sneak it lots of veggies into the sauce and serve with some whole wheat garlic bread with cheese.

It is essentially the opposite of dieting ..instead of thinking, how can I make this meal less calories, for her you have to think, how can I add a few calories? I'd be careful with going overboard on the calories without first talking with her doctor to make sure he or she agrees.

SoreTodayStrongTomorrow222

I mean this isnt the BEST idea but why not give her some extremely calorie dense foods that you know she will eat simply because they taste good? I get all these people saying to give her "healthy calorie dense" foods but c'mon... if you're 12 and youre not hungry and your mom comes up to you with an avocado - what you are going to say? Your idea of a refind pallete is chicken strips and macaroni and cheese.