The 2 sides to MFP

taunto

One of my husband's friends was interested in MFP, so I told him all about it. The final selling point was "Oh, and sometimes on Fridays, a bunch of women post photos of their cleavage."

Yeah, sometimes it gets silly. Silly is good. This place wouldn't have sunk it's addictive claws in me if everything was always on topic. It's good to break the monotony of "yes, eat the exercise calories," "no, you won't get bulky," "no, you did't gain 5 pounds overnight," and "any time you cross the finish line is a good time for a 5k."

I like this post. You always make such good posts.

I too venture into the chit-chat section but primarily because thats what pulls up on the "recent forum posts". I enjoy the section. The problem isn't the section itself, its the overly sexualizing in there. Like OP said, that the majority of the posts are sex related. It's the same thing as watching only porn. As much as I love them, I don't wanna watch it all day long...

maspicantexfa

Levels of maturity vary wildly here, as the only thing some of us have in common is a desire to be fit and control our weight.

I take what I need from where I can, find groups of people who share my interests and goals, look for friends who are good people to know in order to improve myself, and for the most part, leave general chit chat and games for the kind of people who, well, like to chit chat and play games.

penrbrown

Yoovie, I think you're still missing the point.

Nobody is saying you CAN'T celebrate your success. People are saying threads that RATE how sexy and good looking people are is a bit discouraging NOT encouraging. We should all feel beautiful in all stages of our loss. Not JUST when we reach our goal. And a thread that only celebrates those who have ripped bodies and low weight numbers is NOT helpful.

Wonderob

for the life of me i cant understand how i always see people who say "i never post in those stupid things" posting in this stupid thing......cant leave well enough alone

I'm concious that I do just that. It's even been pointed out that by creating this thread - and the huge response, I am guilty of bringing this to the 'recent posts' list and it has got little to do with losing weight/getting fit!

That's not really the point though - I should be able to write this type of thing. If they want then people can write about which guy looks best in speedos, or who has the best fingernails, or whch tattoo is sexiest. My point is that due to it's popularity, these type of messages are likely to be the first impression of MFP forum - and I don't think it's a true representation of the site, that's all

NWCountryGal

I agree and have been guilty of participating in a few of them. I don't want to now though especially after reading your post. You are absolutely right and at the risk of not having EVERYONE like me, I all those are inappropriate for a fitness site and those folks that want to do those types of topics should go to a dating site where they love that kind of junk.

denise

bassmanlarry

I view this site first and foremost as a tool to help reach a goal. I have to admit to not even noticing the forums for the first month. Now when I do post, I'm usually the thread killer, so this might be the end of it.

TheRealParisLove

Welcome to the hell of being born female. Our value is judged from birth based on empirical attractiveness, to almost exclusivity.

Men are just now starting to get a glimpse of what this is like, and for the most part can escape this kind of value judgement in the vast majority of situations.

Maybe someone like Mark Zuckerburg will have an experience like like your friend did, and think twice before creating another website like "Hot or Not" that rates the empirical attractiveness of his female classmates.

Women like to look at attractive men. So what? I'd be willing to bet that your friend has at some point in his life looked at a website or magazine that featured women wearing hardly any clothes without any other measure of their worth outside the fact that they look great in a bikini.

Just sayin'

ILoveTheBrowns

for the life of me i cant understand how i always see people who say "i never post in those stupid things" posting in this stupid thing......cant leave well enough alone

I'm concious that I do just that. It's even been pointed out that by creating this thread - and the huge response, I am guilty of bringing this to the 'recent posts' list and it has got little to do with losing weight/getting fit!

That's not really the point though - I should be able to write this type of thing. If they want then people can write about which guy looks best in speedos, or who has the best fingernails, or whch tattoo is sexiest. My point is that due to it's popularity, these type of messages are likely to be the first impression of MFP forum - and I don't think it's a true representation of the site, that's all

ohh im sorry i didnt even mean you....i thought it was a good topic (lunch break at work love to read through these and laugh) i meant all these people replying saying that.... it makes me chuckle......i personally dont care what people talk about i've been known to jump into a "rate my *kitten*" or a "why does my husband not want to drill me" thread just to say something funny...but when i see which frat bro can take a hotter pic in a cowboy hat thread i simply move past it...thats all

FungusTrooper

And so the thread went on for another 100 pages, and nobody ever agreed, and everyone argued forever.

The end.

ILoveTheBrowns

Welcome to the hell of being born female. Our value is judged from birth based on empirical attractiveness, to almost exclusivity.

Men are just now starting to get a glimpse of what this is like, and for the most part can escape this kind of value judgement in the vast majority of situations.

Maybe someone like Mark Zuckerburg will have an experience like like your friend did, and think twice before creating another website like "Hot or Not" that rates the empirical attractiveness of his female classmates.

Women like to look at attractive men. So what? I'd be willing to bet that your friend has at some point in his life looked at a website or magazine that featured women wearing hardly any clothes without any other measure of their worth outside the fact that they look great in a bikini.

Just sayin'

huh?

Chapter3point6

Welcome to the hell of being born female. Our value is judged from birth based on empirical attractiveness, to almost exclusivity.

Men are just now starting to get a glimpse of what this is like, and for the most part can escape this kind of value judgement in the vast majority of situations.

Maybe someone like Mark Zuckerburg will have an experience like like your friend did, and think twice before creating another website like "Hot or Not" that rates the empirical attractiveness of his female classmates.

Women like to look at attractive men. So what? I'd be willing to bet that your friend has at some point in his life looked at a website or magazine that featured women wearing hardly any clothes without any other measure of their worth outside the fact that they look great in a bikini.

Just sayin'

OMG, now this is a battle of the sexes thing. UGH!

BrettPGH

Yoovie, I think you're still missing the point.

Nobody is saying you CAN'T celebrate your success. People are saying threads that RATE how sexy and good looking people are is a bit discouraging NOT encouraging. We should all feel beautiful in all stages of our loss. Not JUST when we reach our goal. And a thread that only celebrates those who have ripped bodies and low weight numbers is NOT helpful.

Because you're not making a point.

So people CAN celebrate their success in threads as they so choose? Good. Stop complaining about it.

I've seen people on this site get discouraged because there are advertisements they don't like. We can't make this place soft enough for everyone. There wouldn't be one success thread. No one could celebrate an NSV.

Weight loss is not easy. I know. Even after you've lost all the weight it's hard work every damn day.

If you're going to be completely derailed by a topic on a website.. you don't have what it takes. Period. This is work. I'm extremely proud of everyone who does the work but I'm not going to tell them to tone it down for the people looking for ANY excuse to give up. Like the friend of the OP.

DoomCakes

unless its people who already got mostly fit, those *****es dont deserve our encouragement OR our tolerance.

I deleted most of it because I hate seeing quotes that are like 3 pages.

But really? I never said you can't feel sexy till everyone else does. I don't care if you feel sexy. That's good. You worked for it. I DO care that people feel the need to be rated and rate their selves based on their physical appearance on a site not targeted FOR that. I never said "you can't feel sexy, shame shame". Get it STRAIGHT. Stop pmsing, eat chocolate, do something. Damn, you are taking this out of context! And the grow up bit was because you're taking this out of context as such.

And people deserve encouragement at ANY state of a fitness level. In fact, I'd say larger people with more to lose need it more so until other wise they prove they're not going to work for it.

Eve23

That make me upset just to think about. I don't click on most of those posts myself. I like many, I think, come here to find the nonjudgmental support. It is incredibly important to someone who is struggling to improve themselves and their lives.

I understand that many, in particular the younger people see this as a social site, but lets be honest it was built to help people reach a goal. That goal is health and fitness. I believe that this should be the focus still.

I was here when the chit chat forum was formed and people were looking for a way to make connections to people. I feel that the friends and the personal news feeds does this very well. Personally I think if we want to keep this focus, maybe there is a way to make a separate area altogether for those sorts of posts.

yoovie

Yoovie, I think you're still missing the point.

Nobody is saying you CAN'T celebrate your success. People are saying threads that RATE how sexy and good looking people are is a bit discouraging NOT encouraging. We should all feel beautiful in all stages of our loss. Not JUST when we reach our goal. And a thread that only celebrates those who have ripped bodies and low weight numbers is NOT helpful.

well we cant participate in the threads about overcoming binging or eating disorders cause some of us never had those problems.

and we cant participate in the 30/50/100/150/200 lbs to lose threads

and we cant participate in a million other kinds of threads because they dont apply to us and its been made clear we arent welcome

so all we can do is go from thread to thread to thread trying to help OTHER people who just mostly get really mad at us and call us bullies...

when the truth is, we are purposefully made to feel like unwanted snobs and bad influences because we already passed the point of no return. Because we've been successful, now we are eye sores. There's really nowhere for us on this place except to track, give advice, post our success thread once and then... get pushed away.

where else are we supposed to go when even our advice and sympathy arent wanted because of what we look like?

all the problems on this site get blamed on those of us that dont have so much weight to lose and constant threads about how we're mean and heartless and all this jimmyjam that isnt based on anything more than a few bad apples.

so maybe i did or didnt get your point, but no one even wants to get the point of those people that had the gall to get fit and be happy about it here.

Wonderob

Women like to look at attractive men. So what? I'd be willing to bet that your friend has at some point in his life looked at a website or magazine that featured women wearing hardly any clothes without any other measure of their worth outside the fact that they look great in a bikini.

Yes I'm sure he has. He nor I are in any position to suggest this type of thing should not be allowed

Once again my point is this: If you went on an allergy forum looking for advice on helping combat allergies, and the first impression of the site was people discussing attractive men/women etc, then you would be put off - that's not to say it shouldn't be discussed in sections of the forum (off topic for example) just that if you clicked on recent posts to see what people on the forum were discussing, you would not stay - that's a shame don't you agree?

AmyFett

I totally agree those threads are super stupid but that's why I don't click on them. You have to remember that there are a lot of teens on the site and lets face it when you're young all you think about is the opposite sex and how hot they may think you are. So I suppose let them have their fun, it doesn't hurt anyone.

True - doesnt hurt anyone. Does de-value the credibilty of MFP in some way though.

IMO, it's called fun and games. If you don't like it, don't click? How is it hurting anyone?

Sasssy69

When I go onto the Chit-Chat board, I'm all like:



I find it entertaining and nothing more. I certainly don't use that board for motivation. I'm more of a "skulker" on that board. I do read the fitness and nutrition, and motivation and support boards with interest and the hopes of learning. And the Recipe board is a life saver.

penrbrown

Because you're not making a point.

So people CAN celebrate their success in threads as they so choose? Good. Stop complaining about it.

I've seen people on this site get discouraged because there are advertisements they don't like. We can't make this place soft enough for everyone. There wouldn't be one success thread. No one could celebrate an NSV.

Weight loss is not easy. I know. Even after you've lost all the weight it's hard work every damn day.

If you're going to be completely derailed by a topic on a website.. you don't have what it takes. Period. This is work. I'm extremely proud of everyone who does the work but I'm not going to tell them to tone it down for the people looking for ANY excuse to give up. Like the friend of the OP.

I do have a point. You just missed it. I'm not surprised. I wouldn't be able to read around those big guns either. *shrug*

majikmiker

If only MFP would let us filter out certain forum groups from the "recent forum posts" section of the main page.

They do.....it's called the left click button on your mouse. DON'T CLICK ON THE FORUM AND SCROLL DOWN TO READ IT. :huh: :indifferent:

That is not a filter. Perhaps you should try to understand the point the OP was trying to make.

I do understand the point. The point was there should be a way to filter out certain forum groups.

As far as I know the forums don't automatically pop up in windows on the screen every time you log in???? The user does have to use a mouse to click on the forum to read it.....so it seems relatively easy to NOT CLICK if you don't want to read it? I didn't read any forums for the first 2 months on here.

I get irked by some of the "I can't get out of bed, but somehow I made it to the computer" threads either, but I use the left-button filter that was magically installed on my mouse and I DON'T CLICK on them. Pretty simple I think.

In fact, I'd bet that's why MFP made different forums and titles for postings, so that users could CHOOSE what to read or not to read. I could be way off base here...... :huh: