The 2 sides to MFP

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Replies

  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member

    Why do you think there is something wrong with me for pointing out the difference between the mentality of those on the main groups and those on the 'rate me' threads?

    I don't think that you can make a broad sweeping generalization on the "mentality" of everyone who participates in what is just a fun thread.

    Again, some people- they are just here to try and score someone.

    The vast majority of us- just like to have fun once in awhile. Doesn't mean I am a 16 y.o. looking to hook up with a dude on this site because I decide to comment in a thread of that nature.

    I'm not saying you shouldn't have fun on the chit chat, of course you should. Im also not saying that there shouldn't be those type of posts - rate me etc

    All Im saying is that as a first impression - MFP shouldnt be as he saw it - not sure what the answer is though

    If I visited a cycling forum and the first few topics were: Name your sexiest cyclist. Best shorts that make your bum look nice. Do cyclists make better lovers? etc, then I would be looking for another cycling forum regardless of how good that one might be. If those topics were sepearte from the main part of the cycle forum then that would be better wouldnt it?

    If someone coming onto MFP did the same then they would be missing out on a real good site
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
    I was praising MFP to a friend the other day, explaining how good it was and how useful I had found it (He had noticed that I had lost weight and asked me about it), especially the support from everyone on these forums. He is very overweight and so self concious that he is reluctant to go to the gym, or even to weight watchers etc.

    I explained that the ethic on MFP was that nobody judges and that everyone is equal including the very overweight - motivating stuff!

    So he takes the mouse and clicks around the site. This is where it gets awkward. Clicks on 'Recent Posts' then on Chit Chat where most of the recent posts seemed to be from. here's what he saw:

    Rate the person above you

    What's sexy about the person above you?

    The person above - part 4

    Dear attractive men over 30

    Who is your celebrity crush

    Cutest thing about the person above you - part 7

    Ladies, who would you rather have a one night stand with?

    Hotest guy on MFP

    etc etc

    It was a little embarrassing to be honest. Seemed all that anyone was interested in on that side of MFP was how men look. I'm not overweight but I get an inferiority complex on there! - I can only imagine how someone with self-worth issues must feel! My friend went from excited and motivated, to crest-fallen and resigned in just a few clicks!

    Polar opposites:
    The support, advice, motivation of most of the MFP groups. Everyone is equal
    The lustful, frenzied, man-crazy posts on Chit chat, where how someone looks is the only thing that seems to matter. You're rated on how sexy you look

    I subscribe to the POV that if you don't like something, don't look, so I'm not suggesting that people shouldnt write what they want; just seems a pity to me that this part of MFP is inextricably linked to everything else.

    Those sort of threads bore me silly to be honest, they remind me of the old "a/s/l" question on AOL.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    I think people should stop being so butt hurt over what its on the internet.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
    I think people should stop being so butt hurt over what its on the internet.

    yes please.

    OH NOESS..flirting is prohibted too, right?
  • SurfinBird1981
    SurfinBird1981 Posts: 517 Member
    @Captain 10 :laugh:
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    All Im saying is that as a first impression - MFP shouldnt be as he saw it - not sure what the answer is though

    If I visited a cycling forum and the first few topics were: Name your sexiest cyclist. Best shorts that make your bum look nice. Do cyclists make better lovers? etc, then I would be looking for another cycling forum regardless of how good that one might be. If those topics were sepearte from the main part of the cycle forum then that would be better wouldnt it?

    If someone coming onto MFP did the same then they would be missing out on a real good site


    Listen, I like the Chit-Chat as much as anyone. I'm a total flirt, and hanging out on chit-chat has helped ME open up in a way I never have before.

    That said, I can see that if I was a hundred pounds overweight and having problems with my self-image, that having judgmental sex-heavy topics up in the corner of my HOME PAGE probably would scare me off. I might not even know that the forums are split into an off-topic/on-topic section, as my entire first impression would be set right there. Now, if I actually wander into those topics and get butthurt, then I'm an idiot.

    I've seen this exact problem happen in plenty of other forums that have OT sections, and this issue always comes up. It's a bit worse here on MFP, since we are all working on our BODIES, and being more fit is usually more attractive. So, the sex factor is automatically amped up by a huge factor. In genereal, OT has to be well-cordoned off from the main area to avoid this exact sort of thing.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
    I'm not saying you shouldn't have fun on the chit chat, of course you should. Im also not saying that there shouldn't be those type of posts - rate me etc

    All Im saying is that as a first impression - MFP shouldnt be as he saw it - not sure what the answer is though

    If I visited a cycling forum and the first few topics were: Name your sexiest cyclist. Best shorts that make your bum look nice. Do cyclists make better lovers? etc, then I would be looking for another cycling forum regardless of how good that one might be. If those topics were sepearte from the main part of the cycle forum then that would be better wouldnt it?

    If someone coming onto MFP did the same then they would be missing out on a real good site

    Then he shouldn't have started in the Chit Chat, Fun & Games section.

    Change the example. Most internet forums have an "Off Topic" section for users to play around in. If I went to an automobile fanatic website, clicked on the off topic section of their forums and then got upset that no one in there was talking about cars...

    Well would you blame me or the website?
  • PinkEnvyx
    PinkEnvyx Posts: 172
    It is fitness pal and sometimes even my Pals I am getting fit with and motivation gets tired of talking about how to get fit, lose weight, or anything related to it. This is why they have the chat section.

    As ridiculous as it is sometimes it is to blow off steam, laugh, have fun, and just talk to other people with similar goals about whatever else. Without down time for even the topic itself with the same people you get can have less of a relationship sometimes with each other and some people need strong relationships (online relationships) to feel motivated. Just my opinion
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I just ignore them. Except for celebrity crush ones, because they put up some nice pics. ;D
  • Bob314159
    Bob314159 Posts: 1,178 Member
    Sad that you have to turn and attack me - it does not reflect well

    I don't ever post my real picture in any social site - so I post one that's obviously not a real person and certainly not me
    There are people here who either have a fake profile and pictures, and are not here to lose weight and treat MFP as a dating site.

    When I see a guy with a muscular trimmed body and a lot of "friends" - it makes my wonder if its really him, or he really looks like me and is just collecting groupies.

    You serious?? You have a computer generated avatar and you're calling people out for fake pics?

    I have a muscular body that I earned using MFP. That's why I have no problem showing it here. The site works if you use it. If you wanna sit around and assume everyone in better shape than you is just lying.. well that's pathetic is what it is.
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,311 Member
    I totally agree those threads are super stupid but that's why I don't click on them. You have to remember that there are a lot of teens on the site and lets face it when you're young all you think about is the opposite sex and how hot they may think you are. So I suppose let them have their fun, it doesn't hurt anyone.

    True - doesnt hurt anyone. Does de-value the credibilty of MFP in some way though.

    no it doesn't... your friend went to a section of the site that has nothing to do with exercise diet or support. Now he is going to judge a book by reading an advertisement on the back page of a magazine sitting next to the book?? WTF? If he is going to judge MFP based on the chit chat section then he probably shouldn't have his own keys to the internet. also if you didn't say dude that stuff in there is all off topic posting and has nothing to do with fitness and exercise ...
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    OP... I blame you for telling him MFP is all sunshine and roses in the first place. And for claiming the chit chat forum DEVALUES MFP. You, sir, are ridiculous for missing... reality.

    Hey come on - I'm going to try and 'sell' something to him by saying "Yeah it's ok, plenty of annoying know-it-alls, lots of supeficial people, many many trolls, but filter that and there's loads of great stuff too"?

    Of course whilst I'm extolling the virtues of MFP, I'm going to paint it in only a good light. My point was that by coincidence or other - every message seemed to be just the opposite of what he wanted to see

    Listen, if your friend is going to use the Chit Chat forum as an excuse to not use MFP or any other tool to improve his health, but instead overlook every single other attribute of this site... that is his problem. And apparently you're making it yours.

    You sold it to him improperly. You failed. Quit blaming everyone else. Sounds like both of you need to pull up your boot straps and take a cold hard look at reality... this is the freaking internet. And no one, NO ONE, is responsible for your feelings but you.

    Lol blaming someone else? Failed? Wow I never knew I was under such pressure to succeed.

    If my friend or others like him gets put of this site by some of the things he first saw then I think that's a shame. I really don't think I need to take a hard look at realityabout it though

    In all honesty, the post was always going to be like asking turkeys to vote for Christmas to some extent. Those that post on the massages to which I'm referring will argue against those that don't.
  • Yes2HealthyAriel
    Yes2HealthyAriel Posts: 453 Member
    I think those kinda posts are stupid and childish and need to be placed elsewhere as this is a fitness site. I would expect this crap from a teen but the sad thing is most of them are from adults.
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    I click all the titles because I"m Nick Cage as a Panda b!tches!
  • fuhrmeister
    fuhrmeister Posts: 1,796 Member
    I agree with someone on the first page. Show him this thread. there are so many people here who want to be supportive. Just tell him to ignore most of the chit-chat...it is just that chit-chat. you don't have to read it or post in it. but it can be super funny. I stumbles on a conversation about 2-ply TP not lining up. It was a hilarious and completely ridiculous conversation about TP preferences. I don't feel like that 10min of my life was wasted at all b/c of the joy and laughter I got out of it.

    I hope your friend will join and be secure in the idea that he is doing something good for himself by trying to be more healthy
    .
  • SurfinBird1981
    SurfinBird1981 Posts: 517 Member
    I totally agree those threads are super stupid but that's why I don't click on them. You have to remember that there are a lot of teens on the site and lets face it when you're young all you think about is the opposite sex and how hot they may think you are. So I suppose let them have their fun, it doesn't hurt anyone.

    True - doesnt hurt anyone. Does de-value the credibilty of MFP in some way though.

    no it doesn't... your friend went to a section of the site that has nothing to do with exercise diet or support. Now he is going to judge a book by reading an advertisement on the back page of a magazine sitting next to the book?? WTF? If he is going to judge MFP based on the chit chat section then he probably shouldn't have his own keys to the internet. also if you didn't say dude that stuff in there is all off topic posting and has nothing to do with fitness and exercise ...

    This!
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    It is fitness pal and sometimes even my Pals I am getting fit with and motivation gets tired of talking about how to get fit, lose weight, or anything related to it. This is why they have the chat section.

    As ridiculous as it is sometimes it is to blow off steam, laugh, have fun, and just talk to other people with similar goals about whatever else. Without down time for even the topic itself with the same people you get can have less of a relationship sometimes with each other and some people need strong relationships (online relationships) to feel motivated. Just my opinion

    Bolded section is so eloquently put I can't improve on it.
  • SurfinBird1981
    SurfinBird1981 Posts: 517 Member
    I think those kinda posts are stupid and childish and need to be placed elsewhere as this is a fitness site. I would expect this crap from a teen but the sad thing is most of them are from adults.

    But they are placed elsewhere....
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,738 Member
    OP... I blame you for telling him MFP is all sunshine and roses in the first place. And for claiming the chit chat forum DEVALUES MFP. You, sir, are ridiculous for missing... reality.

    Hey come on - I'm going to try and 'sell' something to him by saying "Yeah it's ok, plenty of annoying know-it-alls, lots of supeficial people, many many trolls, but filter that and there's loads of great stuff too"?

    Of course whilst I'm extolling the virtues of MFP, I'm going to paint it in only a good light. My point was that by coincidence or other - every message seemed to be just the opposite of what he wanted to see

    Listen, if your friend is going to use the Chit Chat forum as an excuse to not use MFP or any other tool to improve his health, but instead overlook every single other attribute of this site... that is his problem. And apparently you're making it yours.

    You sold it to him improperly. You failed. Quit blaming everyone else. Sounds like both of you need to pull up your boot straps and take a cold hard look at reality... this is the freaking internet. And no one, NO ONE, is responsible for your feelings but you.

    Lol blaming someone else? Failed? Wow I never knew I was under such pressure to succeed.

    If my friend or others like him gets put of this site by some of the things he first saw then I think that's a shame. I really don't think I need to take a hard look at realityabout it though

    In all honesty, the post was always going to be like asking turkeys to vote for Christmas to some extent. Those that post on the massages to which I'm referring will argue against those that don't.

    The truth is that if your friend is "too crestfallen" to try a weight loss site over harmless chit chat and probably fake pictures, he has other issues he has to deal with. He should really see someone about his insecurity.
  • checof
    checof Posts: 114

    True - doesnt hurt anyone. Does de-value the credibilty of MFP in some way though.

    Devalue the credibility?? Good grief, it's just harmless, silly fun. In fact, as someone else stated, some people may find inspiration there to get "cut" or whatever it is they call it, and it helps to build a sense of community. Let people spend their time in the chit chat thread if they want, to each their own.

    I personally don't post in the "fun" threads because I find them inane, but I'm glad that there's places on this site that aren't ALL about calorie counting and number of squats and minutes on the elliptical. I say live and let live.
    All Im saying is that as a first impression - MFP shouldnt be as he saw it - not sure what the answer is though

    The obvious answer is that people who are checking out the site for the first time probably shouldn't go straight to the let-your-hair-down threads, but to the more useful ones where the focus is exercise, nutrition, motivation, etc. It took me weeks to even FIND the chit chat thread -- and when I did I promptly left. This place is full of resources, find the ones that suit YOU.