The 2 sides to MFP

I was praising MFP to a friend the other day, explaining how good it was and how useful I had found it (He had noticed that I had lost weight and asked me about it), especially the support from everyone on these forums. He is very overweight and so self concious that he is reluctant to go to the gym, or even to weight watchers etc.

I explained that the ethic on MFP was that nobody judges and that everyone is equal including the very overweight - motivating stuff!

So he takes the mouse and clicks around the site. This is where it gets awkward. Clicks on 'Recent Posts' then on Chit Chat where most of the recent posts seemed to be from. here's what he saw:

Rate the person above you

What's sexy about the person above you?

The person above - part 4

Dear attractive men over 30

Who is your celebrity crush

Cutest thing about the person above you - part 7

Ladies, who would you rather have a one night stand with?

Hotest guy on MFP

etc etc

It was a little embarrassing to be honest. Seemed all that anyone was interested in on that side of MFP was how men look. I'm not overweight but I get an inferiority complex on there! - I can only imagine how someone with self-worth issues must feel! My friend went from excited and motivated, to crest-fallen and resigned in just a few clicks!

Polar opposites:
The support, advice, motivation of most of the MFP groups. Everyone is equal
The lustful, frenzied, man-crazy posts on Chit chat, where how someone looks is the only thing that seems to matter. You're rated on how sexy you look

I subscribe to the POV that if you don't like something, don't look, so I'm not suggesting that people shouldnt write what they want; just seems a pity to me that this part of MFP is inextricably linked to everything else.

The problem isn't those threads, or topics, or that they get so much play on MFP...the problem is that someone made the "effort" to log into MFP, found those threads, then got discouraged. It has nothing to do with the threads themselves, nor does it have anything to do with those who participated in those threads, the problem lays squarely on the shoulders of the person who got upset about them.

Self conscience or not, if you're going to let something that was posted on the internet, in a section you never have to visit unless you want to visit, if you let that deter you...then you weren't serious to begin with. I have met and know too many people with the "I can't" or "I tried, but it didn't work for me" attitude that want to complain and whine about their weight or situation, but never want to do anything about it that goes beyond taking some magic pill. The only true motivation a person needs is themselves, because without first believing in yourself, you won't believe what anyone else says either. You need to want to be motivated or else it's all in vain.

Veteran: You want to read the forum?
Noob: I think I'm entitled.
Veteran: You want to read the forums?
Noob: I want motivation!!
Veteran: You CAN'T HANDLE THE MOTIVATION!! We live on a site that has fit people. And most of those fit people have worked hard to get where they are. They want to be known as sexy! Who's gonna tell them their sexy? You? They have a greater opinion of themselves than you can possibly imagine...they worked hard to get where they are. The cried, they poured sweat, they fasted, they ate more to weigh less, they cut calories. The truth is, they know their BMR and their TDEE, they know the dedication it takes to lose 100 lbs and feel good about who they are. You don't want the motivation, because deep down you know those magic pill infomercials are solid crap, and you want ripped, you NEED ripped abs, and you know there's only one way to get them. Those Chit-Chat people use words like sexy, cute, hotness because they've earned it. You use them as way to cop out. They neither have the time, nor the inclination to put forth effort to help motivate someone who is looking for an excuse to stay un-motivated. They would rather you log out and move on. Otherwise, I suggest you dig deep down, realize that you want to lose the weight, find the motivational threads, log your calories, lift some weights and jump on a treadmill and thank MFP for allowing me to be accountable to myself and to others.


When you decide to get serious about something, then you will let nothing stand in the way of your goal.

If you believe you can't do something, then you're probably right.

Post on Mr. and Mrs. Hotness, keep those threads going Ms. Firm Butt and Mr. Cut Abs... because one day, one day soon...I will be among you....oh yes...one day MFP will be writing long blogs about my awesomeness, but for the time being, I will toot my own horn, because I am worthy of some tootage! Ok...not sure that came out as good in print as it did in my head.

Blah- the forums mostly turn into fights......As a member for 2.5 years, I have noticed a shift in the forums. When I first started, the MFP forums were a lot more positive, less arguing, less trolling, and more of the health/fitness, nutrition, success stories, ect. Chit-chat section has taken over. I'm not saying its bad- I have even posted in there once in a while when I'm bored, but don't feel it is my main purpose while using the site. I usually don't use the forums anymore if I have questions- I will research online, or ask my friends because of the few people who have nothing better to do than stir up something. I guess as a member of this site, I try to be positive, encouraging, and a good role model to others who have just started this journey.

he probably shouldn't have his own keys to the internet.

Its pretty obvious that he was looking for a reason to rationalize that he was not ready to get serious about the weight loss. The recent threads section gave him his reason.