WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2017

Goal for February is same as January "Kindness"

Knee pain is better.

Margaret

Allie, you know more of what is going on than we do. I support whatever decision you make. Good idea to keep your money separate. Requiring counseling for both as you suggested with the stipulation that if he doesn't go... divorce.

I'm feeling better today. Thank you ladies! Took a nap at 4-6pm the fell asleep on the chair by 8 pm last night. Went to bed and feel so much better.

January goals: 1 end month lighter. Start weight 184.7 end weight 183.8 also emotionally lighter so met this one!
2. Exercise 5/7 days. Met this the last 2 weeks, about 50% other two weeks
3. Use breathe app on watch daily. About half done
4. Declutter... a little but a start.

February goals same as Jan:
1. End lighter - start weight 183.8
2. Exercise 5/7 days (cardio at least)
3. Breathe app 1-2 times a day
4. Declutter


Taxes done and filed yesterday. YAY!

Stats:
Squats 56
Yoga 15 min
Elliptical 30 min
Steps: Apple Watch 6149. Fitbit 6048
Water 6 cups
Breathe app 1

Rita in snowy pretty CT

Ps. Shoveling snow for cardio today.

Barbie: Thank you for creating the new thread for February! Your new arrival is so pretty

Re: Thank you for the hugs. I'm so glad that you seem to have an excellent physio. Congrats on that weight loss elliptical or not you're having great success!

Katie: Way to go on that loss! Would a heavy duty rolling suitcase work better for hauling your books around?

Sharon: Apparently you love your new trailer Enjoy it! Go with a plan for the birthday party - you know you can do it.

pitegny: Congrats on the fantastic result for January.

NYKaren: Love the picture - thanks for sharing

Chris: Yay January! I'd take those small #'s too. Keep up the great work you're obviously doing what works for you.

Sarah: Waves from the west.

KJ: I love your actions - truly inspiring!

Heather: Safe travels!

My goals for January were a bust. I'm usually much better at meeting my goals. This is a indication that my stress levels are climbing and that I'd better get a handle on it. The good thing is that I only have 1 more pound to lose to get back to where I was before Christmas.

For February I will hang on to this thought: “The difference in winning and losing is most often…not quitting.” – Walt Disney


Carey - Northern Alberta

Allie - Wishing the best for you and Tom. Hopefully, he will go to counseling with you without balking and will give it a good old college try. Someone that can be a good 'bounce ideas off the wall' and 'make each of you see and know what has been wrong and guide you gently toward a resolution'. Keep those names and numbers; decided on 'how much you are willing to go through' in your quest to save the marriage. It will be a tough 'row to hoe' ... probably for both of you. For Tom to 'relinquish his controlling ways' and for you 'to step out and gain a little control over your life and have more courage in what you are capable in doing'.

Keeping your paycheck coming to your account is a good idea; now you can make Tom show you what HE has done and teach you about the finances of the family (in the event, God Forbid, something happens to him, before you). Sometimes approaching life and finances is easier done when you put it in the form of NEEDING to know, rather than having something thrust upon you unknowingly and suddenly. If this happens, and you see things headed South, you will know when and how to jump to protect yourself as best you can. But, I would still not be his 'maid'. Teach him 'how to fend for himself' and 'make him do it'; in case, God Forbid, something happens to you. It works both ways. I taught both my sons how to cook, clean, and wash and dry their own things when they were only about 7 & 9 - 8 & 10. Now, they both help with things with their wives and they don't think they were put in their lives to be their maids. He is perfectly able to 'wash his own clothes', and to 'occasionally fix a meal' ... grill outside or something. He probably isn't willing to admit that the marriage has been 'on the rocks' either. For the time being, I would make it a point to 'go with him' when he wants to go to "Lowe's" or ask to go, even if it is an imposition of both of you. Could turn out to be a way to bring you closer. The 'needs' over the 'wants' should be utmost. You both need to express how you feel about one another to the other. Being honest will build trust ... it will come slowly; but, it can be done.

How are y'all going about getting the name and services of a marriage counselor? IF he refuses, then go to the attorney to find out your rights; even 'if' you are trying to save the marriage. It takes a lot of 'gumption' to work at 'fixing' something in this 'throw away society'. Gingerly, wishing y'all the best for your decision ... hopefully it is mutual with Tom. He needs to know that 'holding secrets in' is not helping. Being honest and 'learning how to disagree' is something that I hope you will both get out of the counseling. Louis and I don't keep secrets from one another - from how we raised our children to how we spend money on those things that we both want. He knows what I make and he knows what bills I pay. Those bills are MY bills; he pays the mortgage, utilities, groceries, phone bill(s) [one is his business, although my phone is on it]. Tom should take the majority of the bills to pay as he makes a lot more $$$ than you do. Now you can pay those bills that are yours (such as credit card bills used to buy your clothes, and other personal matters ... and also to be able to also open up a separated savings account in your name only. If you have Wills, then all either of you would have to do is present a copy of the Will and death certificate to the bank in order to close the accounts and move the money to your own account(s).

Louis and I have an appointment with our life insurance agent this Friday to discuss 'hopefully' them being able to save us some money (and maybe get a little more in the process). The company that has 1/2 of our insurance has gone up from $340 to about $590 a month ... need it just cannot afford it. She said she can definitely save us a lot more money and get more coverage and still be under that. I sure hope so. But, if the premium continues to come out of my account; then Louis will just have to pay my car payment; it is too much of a strain to do so now as it is. When I look at things as they stand with both of us, I get panicky; but, when I realize that some things will be cut out or greatly reduced if I was on my own; that gives me a little more breathing room. It would be tight as a girdle, but, I could make it.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

We all love you and want what is best for you!

Lenora

grandmallie wrote: »

Good Morning Ladies~
I have some news to share and I hope you all will all support my decision..
Tom and I had a heart to heart monday night.. we talked darn close to an hour..and we are going to try and make this work..
NOW don't y'all go crazy... I told him how much he has hurt me emotionally and mentally over the years and that would not continue. that things would need to change.. that he would agree to counseling.
Our personalities will never change but our behaviors can..so we will try and work through this.. I will keep my check in my own account and help pay the bills that way.. told him that I would like to control my own finances and want to be more involved with how it is distributed..
No One want's to see a marriage fail...
it is going to be a long and slow process . but please dont bash .. and wish us luck.. it will be a long road..

too late, i've gone crazy

Sharon in Lethbridge: It sounds as though you had a very busy day yesterday. Give your DH a few extra hugs if he is feeling insecure. . I love your goals for this month. :flowerforyou:

pitegny: A 17.4 pound loss in one month is monumental. Wow!

Allison: I wish you and Tom the best of luck. When my husband & I were discussing the possibility of buying our current home we simply couldn't have a discussion without losing our cool. I had reservations and he was beyond gung ho. We needed help. We finally made an appointment with the guidance counselor who had previously helped me through the loss of my mom. Dr. D was a master at helping us talk about the difficult issues. He was essentially a referee who helped us focus on the issues and keep the emotional level down. Keep the idea in the back of your mind if you have hard times talking with one another. (((hugs)))

Donna E TN, Adnama52 & all newbies: Welcome to a great group! :flowerforyou:

NYKaren: I love the photo of you and Rori! She is awesome, indeed.

KJLamore: Congrats on your seven pound loss! WTG!!

mavisjones: Nice to see you. I hope you stop by more often.

Lauravlad: Welcome! :flowerforyou:


Today would be a yoga day but DH has a doctor appointment and can't see well enough to drive. I'm sorry to miss yoga, but happy to help him work toward better health. Yesterday I moved his recumbent bike into the living room because he claimed it is too cold in the garage for him. I've used it in the garage and in the living room, but I haven't seen him give it a spin yet. I can motivate myself to take action toward getting healthier, but I can't motivate him. He has to do that for himself. so, I'll ride in the living room while watching TV. Maybe he'll eventually get over his passivity. I hope & pray that he'll take his health seriously enough to do something about it.

Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

Heather posted a quote similar to this that I wanted to use, but I couldn't recall it quite right. I went online and found this one.

"So many of us believe in perfection, which ruins everything else, because the perfect is not only the enemy of the good; it's also the enemy of the realistic, the possible and the fun."


February2017 Resolutions:

1: Log every bite and swallow;
2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on strength and stamina.
3. Have fun every day.
4. Drink at least 3 glasses of water a day.
5. Monitor sleep. Average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.