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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,843 Member
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    She turned me in to the authorities.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Told me to respect her authority, then smacked me with a donut. Still have sprinkles in my hair
  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
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    Chewed through the chain, and ran away.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Had an invisible fence up. I thought I was getting away. Woke up right back in chains
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,843 Member
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    Wanted me to call him Alice
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    Did appreciate how I kept him safe. So ungrateful.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    They kept fighting over me. I AM NOT A PIECE OF MEAT.
  • Justn_83
    Justn_83 Posts: 492 Member
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    Because they aren't a piece of meat and I am HUNGRY
  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
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    He ate all my groceries... Again.
  • Justn_83
    Justn_83 Posts: 492 Member
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    Never listens to me! I told her I would repay her for the groceries!
  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
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    Doesnt understand that massages don't actually count as monetary repayment!
  • Justn_83
    Justn_83 Posts: 492 Member
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    Because my massages are AMAZING and that was never good enough
  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
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    Because he learned to massage from his pretty yoga instructor ex girlfriend...
  • Justn_83
    Justn_83 Posts: 492 Member
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    Because she was always dogging me about my ex girlfriends
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    Not sure they were all still considered ex’s.
  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
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    Couldn't decide on a wedding theme. I want a summer theme!
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    And my black and white motif lends well to winter. Sorry love, not meant to be.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    Wanted our entire house to be black & white! I could have lived with that...but making me change my red lipstick to black was asking too much!

    💋 Adios!!
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    Refused to sign anything except to place a red kiss mark on it. Birthday cards to mom, credit card purchases, our mortgage!! 😳
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,843 Member
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    Tried to get me to sign a contract giving her full ownership over me.

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