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We broke up because...

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  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
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    She tried to name my body parts individually. Was very weird
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Kept telling me love was just some electro-chemical reactions in the body. I woke up with a battery pack strapped to my *kitten*.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
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    I caught him doing freaky stuff with a car battery 😱
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    She kept shaking her tail at every one except me.
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Didn't appreciate the song "shake your tail feather" - deal breaker!😉😂
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Plucked my "tail feathers" while I slept.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,843 Member
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    Plucked his eyebrows too much and refused to draw them on for me.
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Always drawing their face on
    Had no idea what they looked like
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Treated life like a "Choose your own adventure" book. Dont want to get up to make breakfast? Turn to page 32. Too lazy to make pop tarts, turn to page 71.
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Travelled from town to town in the fashion of connect the dots. Problem was he couldn't count, and never came home
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Traveling carnie. Constantly wanting me to twist her into a pretzel. Look, its saturday night, I have better things to do, ok???
  • Masyn88
    Masyn88 Posts: 1,650 Member
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    (I actually travelled with a carnival for 2 months)
    He was too focused on weekly expectations - no drinking on Mondays, no laundry on Tuesdays...
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    She had a detailed calendar for every event. "Monday, 6:30 am. Wake up, roll over and fart. Then laugh. Go back to sleep. Tonight is chicken night, we must have chicken". "Tuesday. Flexibility day. May fart from 6 to 8 am, then cereal. Preferably honey, bark, and wheat grass oats"
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,843 Member
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    He wasn't foxy enough for me.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
    edited June 2020
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    It's a long story but the short version is, she wouldnt wear the fox onsie I bought her, there's a whole heap of other reasons but that was the straw that broke the camel's back. We tried to save our relationship, couples therapy etc. Nothing worked.
    But we remain friends for our children's sake.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,843 Member
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    She made me take the kids in the divorce. All 12 of them. 😒
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
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    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    She made me take the kids in the divorce. All 12 of them. 😒

    12 wth.. 14, did you lose Billy Jo and Bobby beth again? 😠
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    She named them all the same name. Doll1, Doll2 etc
  • NLP6618
    NLP6618 Posts: 6,201 Member
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    She said she was going to nibble on my ear. And instead but it off. Lol.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    Her vocabulary was so confusing

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