We broke up because...

_ORIGINAL_BEAST_

Because she doesn't like my mask😫

Bridge_marie

He kept stealing my Dallas Cowboy stuff. Didn’t want to admit he’s a fan.

OleTroubadour

She refused to make me her crush of the day for more than 3000 days straight - I mean how long can a guy wait

Bridge_marie

Because he hates me 😆

OleTroubadour

Because she refused to travel the state with me in a sidecar attached to a sweet scooter...

Bridge_marie

Because he insisted we wore matching helmets

slimgirljo15

Yeah.. that helmet she wore 🤭 I couldn't keep a straight face.

Ironwoman1111

She said my homemade chicken strips tasted like breaded condoms. Chewy with a hint of strawberry.

OleTroubadour

She was always wanting to discuss odd textured condoms

Ironwoman1111

Instead of buying balloons for all our parties he would buy… you guessed it!😝🎈🎈🎈👀

FabulousFantasticFifty

I found a bunch of popped Trojans hiding in a secret pocket in her handbag that required a Locksmith to open.

Sharsou

She got a habit of looking for everyone’s secrets

NVintage

He'd accuse everyone of looking for his secrets just so he could take his shirt off and say, " See, no secrets here!" while showing off his pectoral muscles...

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was always telling me that my Pectoral muscles couldn't compare with her Ex's. 😦

Sharsou

She’s always comparing herself with my ex’s

PaperDoll_

His refusal to wear clothes kept getting us kicked out of places.

Onerom1

Because she was obsessed with playing with leaves on the ground when we would go on walks.

Sharsou

Coz I’m not into guys 😂

FabulousFantasticFifty

The way he broke it to his Ex that he wasnt into him was was cruel 😟

Sharsou

She’s always talking about my ex’s and keep referring to them as “He”