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What nobody tells you about losing weight

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  • gradchica27gradchica27 Posts: 495Member Member Posts: 495Member Member
    RivenV wrote: »
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    ...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.

    I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.

    But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.

    First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.

    Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim... :s

    This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!

    Trouble is I have absolutely no idea what to buy. Used to be quite stylish when I was slim in my 20s and early 30s but now I am 63 and not needing 'business clothes' I am at a total loss! I have 2 dresses in my wardrobe which I purchased because I was so delighted that I could actually buy a dress (used to have big boobs, small bottom syndrome) but don't wear them because I don't know if a) I look ridiculous or b) when/where would it be appropriate to wear them - I live in the country - jeans and jumpers are the norm. And I thought losing weight would simplify by wardrobe dilemmas!! :smiley:

    You know... I live in Montana and most people here dress similarly to how you say folks dress there--jeans rule the day for most people.

    But you don't have to be most people! I haven't worn pants (outside of yoga pants for working out or sweatpants for lounging in the house) for years. All dresses, all the time. Occasionally people do comment, "Wow, you're so dressed up!" And I just laugh at the very idea. It sincerely takes less effort to "dress up" in a dress than it does to coordinate matching separates.

    I challenge you to wear one of those two dresses this week--just because you want to! I guarantee you won't look ridiculous, and as long as you're not wearing it out into a field for yardwork, no one will think you're inappropriate. (Unless, you know, they're formal dresses/gowns, as someone else mentioned. ;) )

    Seriously on dresses being easier. I have a "uniform" of a dress (usually a-line knee-length, but not always), black tights, and black heels (boots in winter). I could get dressed with my eyes closed and still look put together. I just don't care to waste decision-making energy on what I'm wearing. If someone enjoys coordinating outfits, more power to them, but I'm not one of those people. I don't even fill half a standard closet with my whole wardrobe.

    I’d say you’re my wardrobe twin, except that half my closet is dresses. Most of the remainder is athleisure (leggings, tank tops, and zip up tops of various weight/thickness). I have maybe 2 “out with friends” outfits and another 1 or 2 upscal(ish) casual outfits.

    Anytime I go shopping I end up with a dress. Or a zip up jacket thing. Even if I went for a “real” outfit 🙄. I just can’t seem to coordinate separates...too many options on style, texture, color, fabric, dressy-ness...it’s paralyzing and I rarely end up wearing the separates I buy—I don’t like flowy tops (why am I trying to hide my waist and show off the widest part—my hips—and look super dumpy bc I have no chest to balance anything out?) or fashion leggings (again, the flowy top that hits in the widest part of my thigh. Why??) , and the fitted tops I prefer look all bumpy and lumpy over jeans, but I look like a midget if I tuck them in. So...back to athletic wear or a dress!
  • pinuplovepinuplove Posts: 12,241Member Member Posts: 12,241Member Member
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    ...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.

    I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.

    But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.

    First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.

    Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim... :s

    This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!

    Trouble is I have absolutely no idea what to buy. Used to be quite stylish when I was slim in my 20s and early 30s but now I am 63 and not needing 'business clothes' I am at a total loss! I have 2 dresses in my wardrobe which I purchased because I was so delighted that I could actually buy a dress (used to have big boobs, small bottom syndrome) but don't wear them because I don't know if a) I look ridiculous or b) when/where would it be appropriate to wear them - I live in the country - jeans and jumpers are the norm. And I thought losing weight would simplify by wardrobe dilemmas!! :smiley:

    Like everyone else has said, wear them babies out! Myself, I'm trying to gather up the courage to wear dresses. I feel like a strange imposter or something. I don't know. There's this dress I want (it's expensive) and I've told myself I'll get it for my trip this June (first time to Europe!) if I keep my eye on the prize and hit some health goals (weight loss, but primarily some going to the gym/getting ready and in shape for my trip -- I have issues with stairs and inclines, so I'm trying to push myself to get better physically for that).

    Here's to hoping I meet my goals AND that I get the dress without crossing it off as "well, I'm not made for dresses!" Which is ridiculous, but my brain feels aren't coming to the party on my logic feels.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I find that a pair of nice shoes really takes a dress from looking weird to being really put together. Doesn't have to be heels, but a nice pair of flats or strappy sandals or dressy boots. Although, I love a good pair of sky-high black wedges with black tights to make my legs look long. I always look a little frumpy when I try on dresses in bare feet or socks. Although, I know a dress is a true winner when I look good in it without shoes on. Those are the keepers.

    Also the skirt length makes a difference! I make mine hit just above the knee, as I have wide calves and chopping them in half makes them look even bigger, as you don't see the natural curve into the knee. I also like to do high-waisted dresses, as I have a long torso and starting the waistline higher also makes my legs look longer.

    It really varies depending on your body shape, it's just about dressing for a shape and knowing that not all dresses are going to be flattering, no matter the weight.

    Wow, you and I really are twins! Except I don't wear boots or wedges often; my preference is Oxford style vintage inspired heels :smile: Same relatively short legs and long torso. Midi dresses make me feel frumpy. Forget maxi dresses! I look like I'm playing dress-up in a normal sized persons closet :lol:

    Knee-length is my sweet spot; any higher and I can't really wear it to work. Fit and flare or A-line are my go-to silhouettes, although I'm branching out into sheaths lately. Those require a bit of help in the undergarment department to hold things steady, though.

    I'm enjoying being able to enjoy shopping again. A bit too much, perhaps.
  • RelCanonicalRelCanonical Posts: 2,212Member Member Posts: 2,212Member Member
    That you can sound like a crazy person, having lost sight of what “normal” is/has become. I was commiserating/complaining with a friend and her husband about how hard it can be to fit in workout time. Me: “I know, if I got up at 4:30 and got to the gym when it opened at 5, I’d only have 45 minutes to workout before I had to leave to get home before husband leaves for work at 6 (I have littles, so can’t leave them home alone yet). I mean, it’s not worth it for 45 minutes “. Them: open mouth stare... “Um, I could only dream of working out for 45 minutes without collapsing”. 😬

    Haha, yeah, I remember being that person and thinking 30 minutes was going hard in the paint.
  • motivatedmarthamotivatedmartha Posts: 1,060Member Member Posts: 1,060Member Member
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    ...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.

    I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.

    But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.

    First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.

    Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim... :s

    This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!

    Trouble is I have absolutely no idea what to buy. Used to be quite stylish when I was slim in my 20s and early 30s but now I am 63 and not needing 'business clothes' I am at a total loss! I have 2 dresses in my wardrobe which I purchased because I was so delighted that I could actually buy a dress (used to have big boobs, small bottom syndrome) but don't wear them because I don't know if a) I look ridiculous or b) when/where would it be appropriate to wear them - I live in the country - jeans and jumpers are the norm. And I thought losing weight would simplify by wardrobe dilemmas!! :smiley:

    Like everyone else has said, wear them babies out! Myself, I'm trying to gather up the courage to wear dresses. I feel like a strange imposter or something. I don't know. There's this dress I want (it's expensive) and I've told myself I'll get it for my trip this June (first time to Europe!) if I keep my eye on the prize and hit some health goals (weight loss, but primarily some going to the gym/getting ready and in shape for my trip -- I have issues with stairs and inclines, so I'm trying to push myself to get better physically for that).

    Here's to hoping I meet my goals AND that I get the dress without crossing it off as "well, I'm not made for dresses!" Which is ridiculous, but my brain feels aren't coming to the party on my logic feels.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I find that a pair of nice shoes really takes a dress from looking weird to being really put together. Doesn't have to be heels, but a nice pair of flats or strappy sandals or dressy boots. Although, I love a good pair of sky-high black wedges with black tights to make my legs look long. I always look a little frumpy when I try on dresses in bare feet or socks. Although, I know a dress is a true winner when I look good in it without shoes on. Those are the keepers.

    Also the skirt length makes a difference! I make mine hit just above the knee, as I have wide calves and chopping them in half makes them look even bigger, as you don't see the natural curve into the knee. I also like to do high-waisted dresses, as I have a long torso and starting the waistline higher also makes my legs look longer.

    It really varies depending on your body shape, it's just about dressing for a shape and knowing that not all dresses are going to be flattering, no matter the weight.

    I think this is the most informative information about how to wear a dress I've ever heard/read. Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I will try some of your tricks and see how they work. I have a short torso as most of my height is legs. I never thought about the length mattering really, though it makes sense. In May when I go shopping for my trip, I'll try on a few different styles (hopefully, I'll get up the courage to battle the anxiety to go into stores) and see how they work. You give me hope!

    Some really good advice here. My daughter and I send WhatsApps photos of clothes we're trying on for 2nd opinions - really helps. Also, if you know you are dress shopping, wear shoes of suitable height that day. :) And @dhiammarath - you looked terrific in that dress you posted a few months back! Not an imposter at all!
  • RelCanonicalRelCanonical Posts: 2,212Member Member Posts: 2,212Member Member
    kenyonhaff wrote: »
    So I learned last night that a tailor can only take in clothes so many sizes before it starts to look weird. There goes my hope of saving my wool peacoat and trench for my goal weight. :E They're already both way big on me and I'm only halfway done.

    So sorry for your loss...a good coat is a wonderful thing. But the good news is that wool peacoats and trenchcoats are never really out of style, so you will be able to find love again. In a smaller size.

    I think I'll be able to earn some money through consignment to buy a new one. (: They were not cheap coats but I got them for cheap, and I think that's what annoys me the most, lol. I actually can't believe the second one because I bought it in the summer when I first started losing, and it was a little tight. Now I can't even wear it because I look like a kid wearing her mother's coat.
  • TheRedQueen1981TheRedQueen1981 Posts: 243Member, Premium Member Posts: 243Member, Premium Member
    pinuplove wrote: »
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    ...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.

    I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.

    But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.

    First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.

    Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim... :s

    This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!

    Trouble is I have absolutely no idea what to buy. Used to be quite stylish when I was slim in my 20s and early 30s but now I am 63 and not needing 'business clothes' I am at a total loss! I have 2 dresses in my wardrobe which I purchased because I was so delighted that I could actually buy a dress (used to have big boobs, small bottom syndrome) but don't wear them because I don't know if a) I look ridiculous or b) when/where would it be appropriate to wear them - I live in the country - jeans and jumpers are the norm. And I thought losing weight would simplify by wardrobe dilemmas!! :smiley:

    Like everyone else has said, wear them babies out! Myself, I'm trying to gather up the courage to wear dresses. I feel like a strange imposter or something. I don't know. There's this dress I want (it's expensive) and I've told myself I'll get it for my trip this June (first time to Europe!) if I keep my eye on the prize and hit some health goals (weight loss, but primarily some going to the gym/getting ready and in shape for my trip -- I have issues with stairs and inclines, so I'm trying to push myself to get better physically for that).

    Here's to hoping I meet my goals AND that I get the dress without crossing it off as "well, I'm not made for dresses!" Which is ridiculous, but my brain feels aren't coming to the party on my logic feels.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I find that a pair of nice shoes really takes a dress from looking weird to being really put together. Doesn't have to be heels, but a nice pair of flats or strappy sandals or dressy boots. Although, I love a good pair of sky-high black wedges with black tights to make my legs look long. I always look a little frumpy when I try on dresses in bare feet or socks. Although, I know a dress is a true winner when I look good in it without shoes on. Those are the keepers.

    Also the skirt length makes a difference! I make mine hit just above the knee, as I have wide calves and chopping them in half makes them look even bigger, as you don't see the natural curve into the knee. I also like to do high-waisted dresses, as I have a long torso and starting the waistline higher also makes my legs look longer.

    It really varies depending on your body shape, it's just about dressing for a shape and knowing that not all dresses are going to be flattering, no matter the weight.

    Wow, you and I really are twins! Except I don't wear boots or wedges often; my preference is Oxford style vintage inspired heels :smile: Same relatively short legs and long torso. Midi dresses make me feel frumpy. Forget maxi dresses! I look like I'm playing dress-up in a normal sized persons closet :lol:

    Knee-length is my sweet spot; any higher and I can't really wear it to work. Fit and flare or A-line are my go-to silhouettes, although I'm branching out into sheaths lately. Those require a bit of help in the undergarment department to hold things steady, though.

    I'm enjoying being able to enjoy shopping again. A bit too much, perhaps.

    I ADORE oxford style heels. Omg. This kind of look with the black tights is my jam (not my feet in those lovely shoes, unfortunately):

    couucu1vjx35.jpg

    I just haven't been able to find a good pair yet. I think I will do better finding a pair with weight loss because my feet will narrow a bit and I can fit into regular sizes again and feel braver about shopping for shoes online.
    Oh wow, those are stunning. Wish I could wear them! Hopefully some day soon!
  • HDBKLMHDBKLM Posts: 409Member Member Posts: 409Member Member
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    ...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.

    I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.

    But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.

    First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.

    Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim... :s

    This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!

    Trouble is I have absolutely no idea what to buy. Used to be quite stylish when I was slim in my 20s and early 30s but now I am 63 and not needing 'business clothes' I am at a total loss! I have 2 dresses in my wardrobe which I purchased because I was so delighted that I could actually buy a dress (used to have big boobs, small bottom syndrome) but don't wear them because I don't know if a) I look ridiculous or b) when/where would it be appropriate to wear them - I live in the country - jeans and jumpers are the norm. And I thought losing weight would simplify by wardrobe dilemmas!! :smiley:

    Like everyone else has said, wear them babies out! Myself, I'm trying to gather up the courage to wear dresses. I feel like a strange imposter or something. I don't know. There's this dress I want (it's expensive) and I've told myself I'll get it for my trip this June (first time to Europe!) if I keep my eye on the prize and hit some health goals (weight loss, but primarily some going to the gym/getting ready and in shape for my trip -- I have issues with stairs and inclines, so I'm trying to push myself to get better physically for that).

    Here's to hoping I meet my goals AND that I get the dress without crossing it off as "well, I'm not made for dresses!" Which is ridiculous, but my brain feels aren't coming to the party on my logic feels.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I find that a pair of nice shoes really takes a dress from looking weird to being really put together. Doesn't have to be heels, but a nice pair of flats or strappy sandals or dressy boots. Although, I love a good pair of sky-high black wedges with black tights to make my legs look long. I always look a little frumpy when I try on dresses in bare feet or socks. Although, I know a dress is a true winner when I look good in it without shoes on. Those are the keepers.

    Also the skirt length makes a difference! I make mine hit just above the knee, as I have wide calves and chopping them in half makes them look even bigger, as you don't see the natural curve into the knee. I also like to do high-waisted dresses, as I have a long torso and starting the waistline higher also makes my legs look longer.

    It really varies depending on your body shape, it's just about dressing for a shape and knowing that not all dresses are going to be flattering, no matter the weight.

    I think this is the most informative information about how to wear a dress I've ever heard/read. Thank you. Seriously, thank you. I will try some of your tricks and see how they work. I have a short torso as most of my height is legs. I never thought about the length mattering really, though it makes sense. In May when I go shopping for my trip, I'll try on a few different styles (hopefully, I'll get up the courage to battle the anxiety to go into stores) and see how they work. You give me hope!

    Some really good advice here. My daughter and I send WhatsApps photos of clothes we're trying on for 2nd opinions - really helps. Also, if you know you are dress shopping, wear shoes of suitable height that day. :) And @dhiammarath - you looked terrific in that dress you posted a few months back! Not an imposter at all!

    Seconded. I was totally thinking of that adorable picture with the grey dress while reading your more recent post, @dhiammarath. You have nothing to be afraid of as far as dress shopping.
    edited March 26
  • dhiammarathdhiammarath Posts: 629Member, Premium Member Posts: 629Member, Premium Member
    @HDBKLM @motivatedmartha Thank you both! <3 I am definitely going to get a cute, summer dress! Gonna do it!
  • ClaucescuClaucescu Posts: 28Member Member Posts: 28Member Member
    RivenV wrote: »
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    ...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.

    I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.

    But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.

    First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.

    Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim... :s

    This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!

    Trouble is I have absolutely no idea what to buy. Used to be quite stylish when I was slim in my 20s and early 30s but now I am 63 and not needing 'business clothes' I am at a total loss! I have 2 dresses in my wardrobe which I purchased because I was so delighted that I could actually buy a dress (used to have big boobs, small bottom syndrome) but don't wear them because I don't know if a) I look ridiculous or b) when/where would it be appropriate to wear them - I live in the country - jeans and jumpers are the norm. And I thought losing weight would simplify by wardrobe dilemmas!! :smiley:

    You know... I live in Montana and most people here dress similarly to how you say folks dress there--jeans rule the day for most people.

    But you don't have to be most people! I haven't worn pants (outside of yoga pants for working out or sweatpants for lounging in the house) for years. All dresses, all the time. Occasionally people do comment, "Wow, you're so dressed up!" And I just laugh at the very idea. It sincerely takes less effort to "dress up" in a dress than it does to coordinate matching separates.

    I challenge you to wear one of those two dresses this week--just because you want to! I guarantee you won't look ridiculous, and as long as you're not wearing it out into a field for yardwork, no one will think you're inappropriate. (Unless, you know, they're formal dresses/gowns, as someone else mentioned. ;) )

    I totally second this! I find it lots easier to dress-up in a dress and flats/boots/sneakers and a denim jacket if needed than to match the parts.

    I wear dresses most of the time, summer dresses and fall/winter dresses, just a wonderful easy piece to wear.
  • ceiswynceiswyn Posts: 1,524Member Member Posts: 1,524Member Member
    @HDBKLM @motivatedmartha Thank you both! <3 I am definitely going to get a cute, summer dress! Gonna do it!

    Absolutely DO IT!

    I can also strongly advise getting a trusted friend to go with you on the shopping trip; sometimes we get stuck in a rut of styles that we know are 'safe' on larger bodies, and need someone to push us to try things that we were afraid to before.

    As a size 26 I was an A-line gal all the way. Now that I'm a 10 I love me a bit of sheath and bodycon, even though I still have a bit more tummy than I'd like. The waist and booty make it all worth it ;) But I would never have tried them if friends hadn't urged me to!
  • dhiammarathdhiammarath Posts: 629Member, Premium Member Posts: 629Member, Premium Member
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    @HDBKLM @motivatedmartha Thank you both! <3 I am definitely going to get a cute, summer dress! Gonna do it!

    Absolutely DO IT!

    I can also strongly advise getting a trusted friend to go with you on the shopping trip; sometimes we get stuck in a rut of styles that we know are 'safe' on larger bodies, and need someone to push us to try things that we were afraid to before.

    As a size 26 I was an A-line gal all the way. Now that I'm a 10 I love me a bit of sheath and bodycon, even though I still have a bit more tummy than I'd like. The waist and booty make it all worth it ;) But I would never have tried them if friends hadn't urged me to!

    @ceiswyn All of my besties live outside my city/state, so that's not always possible. However, my husband is pretty good at pushing me into new territory, so I usually drag him around (while also frantically texting pictures to my besties like WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE ON ME?!) and he offers good advice and brings me stuff to try on. Sometimes, it's crazy stuff and I can hear him snickering to the dressing room, but most of the time it's stuff I wouldn't have tried/gone for, but turns out -- it's pretty good.

    So I'll probably have my husband in tow, but I also want to go by myself. I think it's a step I need to take -- no one told me that my anxiety wasn't really tied to my weight. I just always thought it was -- I guess I have more social anxiety as a person than as a person with extra weight (which didn't HELP my anxiety but didn't CAUSE my anxiety either).

    I envy people who can strut into stores and be all, "YEP," even if things don't fit right or it's not the right cut or heck, just pulling things off the rack and trying it on. XD
  • RelCanonicalRelCanonical Posts: 2,212Member Member Posts: 2,212Member Member
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    @HDBKLM @motivatedmartha Thank you both! <3 I am definitely going to get a cute, summer dress! Gonna do it!

    Absolutely DO IT!

    I can also strongly advise getting a trusted friend to go with you on the shopping trip; sometimes we get stuck in a rut of styles that we know are 'safe' on larger bodies, and need someone to push us to try things that we were afraid to before.

    As a size 26 I was an A-line gal all the way. Now that I'm a 10 I love me a bit of sheath and bodycon, even though I still have a bit more tummy than I'd like. The waist and booty make it all worth it ;) But I would never have tried them if friends hadn't urged me to!

    @ceiswyn All of my besties live outside my city/state, so that's not always possible. However, my husband is pretty good at pushing me into new territory, so I usually drag him around (while also frantically texting pictures to my besties like WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE ON ME?!) and he offers good advice and brings me stuff to try on. Sometimes, it's crazy stuff and I can hear him snickering to the dressing room, but most of the time it's stuff I wouldn't have tried/gone for, but turns out -- it's pretty good.

    So I'll probably have my husband in tow, but I also want to go by myself. I think it's a step I need to take -- no one told me that my anxiety wasn't really tied to my weight. I just always thought it was -- I guess I have more social anxiety as a person than as a person with extra weight (which didn't HELP my anxiety but didn't CAUSE my anxiety either).

    I envy people who can strut into stores and be all, "YEP," even if things don't fit right or it's not the right cut or heck, just pulling things off the rack and trying it on. XD

    I so had this issue too (and still have it, although not to the extent it used to be anymore). I tied a lot of my anxiety to my weight, and it became VERY apparent this past week, and I have had to do some serious soul searching about my life and where I want to be regardless of my weight. It is a tough thing to do but once you stretch yourself, it becomes easier to do it again and again. In regards to anxiety in general, I've learned to even take a bad experience and treat it as "I just had a bad time because I wasn't used to doing this yet, so next time will be better" rather than treating the bad experience, while trying to overcome anxiety, as now knowing what to do or not to do next to make it a good experience.
  • dhiammarathdhiammarath Posts: 629Member, Premium Member Posts: 629Member, Premium Member
    @RelCanonical That is good advice. I haven't ever really talked about my anxiety until this past vacation with my mom and aunt, where I told them how anxious I was in general. I mean, when I opened my etsy store to sell my jewelry had I a panic attack going to the post office because I didn't know what to do. That was my first clue that what I thought was all weight related fear of the world was more anxiety driven fear of the world as a base foundation of my nature.

    Next time WILL be better and in regards to the post office, the next time WAS better. Good luck to you too! Anxiety sucks and I hope the soul searching goes well and gives you the direction you need!
  • motivatedmarthamotivatedmartha Posts: 1,060Member Member Posts: 1,060Member Member
    @RelCanonical That is good advice. I haven't ever really talked about my anxiety until this past vacation with my mom and aunt, where I told them how anxious I was in general. I mean, when I opened my etsy store to sell my jewelry had I a panic attack going to the post office because I didn't know what to do. That was my first clue that what I thought was all weight related fear of the world was more anxiety driven fear of the world as a base foundation of my nature.

    Next time WILL be better and in regards to the post office, the next time WAS better. Good luck to you too! Anxiety sucks and I hope the soul searching goes well and gives you the direction you need!

    As a young woman I was pretty confident and very little phased me. But, after years of being overweight and feeling socially awkward and embarrassed about it I truly believe that feeling became a habit - the anxiety persisted well beyond the time those things that caused it in me had been eroded. Although not at the end of my weight loss journey (I have a sneaking suspicion the journey will never actually end as I will always have to be on my guard) I am finally beginning to see my old confident self emerging. I no longer feel the need to hide at the back for every social occasion and, in my head, apologise for being there and spoiling the fun. I am much more willing to join in fun activities and am much less concerned about looking silly. Always does us good to remember that i) everyone does something for the first time and it's OK to not get it right first time and ii) actually, most of the time no-one thinks you are being silly/daft/stupid or whatever. Most of the time no-one notices us at all - and that's a good thing. XX
  • pinuplovepinuplove Posts: 12,241Member Member Posts: 12,241Member Member
    pinuplove wrote: »
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    ...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.

    I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.

    But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.

    First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.

    Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim... :s

    This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!

    Trouble is I have absolutely no idea what to buy. Used to be quite stylish when I was slim in my 20s and early 30s but now I am 63 and not needing 'business clothes' I am at a total loss! I have 2 dresses in my wardrobe which I purchased because I was so delighted that I could actually buy a dress (used to have big boobs, small bottom syndrome) but don't wear them because I don't know if a) I look ridiculous or b) when/where would it be appropriate to wear them - I live in the country - jeans and jumpers are the norm. And I thought losing weight would simplify by wardrobe dilemmas!! :smiley:

    Like everyone else has said, wear them babies out! Myself, I'm trying to gather up the courage to wear dresses. I feel like a strange imposter or something. I don't know. There's this dress I want (it's expensive) and I've told myself I'll get it for my trip this June (first time to Europe!) if I keep my eye on the prize and hit some health goals (weight loss, but primarily some going to the gym/getting ready and in shape for my trip -- I have issues with stairs and inclines, so I'm trying to push myself to get better physically for that).

    Here's to hoping I meet my goals AND that I get the dress without crossing it off as "well, I'm not made for dresses!" Which is ridiculous, but my brain feels aren't coming to the party on my logic feels.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I find that a pair of nice shoes really takes a dress from looking weird to being really put together. Doesn't have to be heels, but a nice pair of flats or strappy sandals or dressy boots. Although, I love a good pair of sky-high black wedges with black tights to make my legs look long. I always look a little frumpy when I try on dresses in bare feet or socks. Although, I know a dress is a true winner when I look good in it without shoes on. Those are the keepers.

    Also the skirt length makes a difference! I make mine hit just above the knee, as I have wide calves and chopping them in half makes them look even bigger, as you don't see the natural curve into the knee. I also like to do high-waisted dresses, as I have a long torso and starting the waistline higher also makes my legs look longer.

    It really varies depending on your body shape, it's just about dressing for a shape and knowing that not all dresses are going to be flattering, no matter the weight.

    Wow, you and I really are twins! Except I don't wear boots or wedges often; my preference is Oxford style vintage inspired heels :smile: Same relatively short legs and long torso. Midi dresses make me feel frumpy. Forget maxi dresses! I look like I'm playing dress-up in a normal sized persons closet :lol:

    Knee-length is my sweet spot; any higher and I can't really wear it to work. Fit and flare or A-line are my go-to silhouettes, although I'm branching out into sheaths lately. Those require a bit of help in the undergarment department to hold things steady, though.

    I'm enjoying being able to enjoy shopping again. A bit too much, perhaps.

    I ADORE oxford style heels. Omg. This kind of look with the black tights is my jam (not my feet in those lovely shoes, unfortunately):

    couucu1vjx35.jpg

    I just haven't been able to find a good pair yet. I think I will do better finding a pair with weight loss because my feet will narrow a bit and I can fit into regular sizes again and feel braver about shopping for shoes online.

    Those are a little higher heel than I'd wear daily, but super cute! My feet defnitely shrank with weight loss. I went down a full size to size and a half and had to replace my entire shoe wardrobe (awwww, how sad! :wink: )
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