To all the MFP MEANIES and know it alls, this is for you
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Some people can be malicious or trolls. And some will step down on others to feel better or superior themselves. I had to delete a thread too because I asked for advice to remedy an immediate problem and simply got very negative responses and told basically "you are an Idiot for doing that" I understand perfectly what you went through, and I find peace in knowing that they, just like me, are on our journey and I wish them well on karmic wellness and wholeness;)0
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I really love this thread. So many examples of people who read the title of the topic and skip the content of the OP's actual post. Sometimes we need to slow down and actually read the post (plus comments after it) before replying.0
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Some people can be malicious or trolls. And some will step down on others to feel better or superior themselves. I had to delete a thread too because I asked for advice to remedy an immediate problem and simply got very negative responses and told basically "you are an Idiot for doing that" I understand perfectly what you went through, and I find peace in knowing that they, just like me, are on our journey and I wish them well on karmic wellness and wholeness;)
Read comprehensive, it does wonders for you.
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diannethegeek wrote: »
agreed….0 -
Some people can be malicious or trolls. And some will step down on others to feel better or superior themselves. I had to delete a thread too because I asked for advice to remedy an immediate problem and simply got very negative responses and told basically "you are an Idiot for doing that" I understand perfectly what you went through, and I find peace in knowing that they, just like me, are on our journey and I wish them well on karmic wellness and wholeness;)
you did not read the whole thread, did you?0 -
The hardest truths are the hardest to hear. We go through all sorts of techniques to make sure that we appear right and others appear wrong. But then, we step back and magically, things become clear. Time often helps with that. It seems like that's what happened to you. You're learning new things about how the human body works, and how your own body feels in response to new things. One day, you'll be the one explaining things to a newbie.0
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Oh, and I meant to also say:
You just made a whole bunch of new friends and gained a lot of respect in the community with this thread.
Being gracious when you make a mistake is a wonderful quality. This is such a happy thread.0 -
NaomiJFoster wrote: »Oh, and I meant to also say:
You just made a whole bunch of new friends and gained a lot of respect in the community with this thread.
Being gracious when you make a mistake is a wonderful quality. This is such a happy thread.
This is the truth.
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Some people can be malicious or trolls. And some will step down on others to feel better or superior themselves. I had to delete a thread too because I asked for advice to remedy an immediate problem and simply got very negative responses and told basically "you are an Idiot for doing that" I understand perfectly what you went through, and I find peace in knowing that they, just like me, are on our journey and I wish them well on karmic wellness and wholeness;)
Yep I agree, but my point is, is that's NOT what I experienced here at this post. I guess the best way to explain it is using an analogy. You have an infected wound. What you are doing isn't helping the wound but making it worse. You know that cleaning and stitching the wound will really hurt and be a long process so you naturally avoid that even though that's the cure. It's a long and painful process. You go to numerous doctors and specialists waiting for one to tell you there's a magic pill to fix your wound, but it's never the response you get. Treatment is generally always the same. You then begin getting angry at the doctors accusing them of not listening or being ignorant, so you leave that practice and go to another doctor. You try wholistic medicine and herbs, bc it worked for your friend, but the wound gets worse. You try a vitamin regiment bc it worked for a cousins friend, but although the wound improved it quickly returned to its infected state and became worse. So you go back to the original doctor bc you are now suffering the symptoms and pain of infection. This doctor says the same thing and you leave in a huff wondering WHY these doctors won't listen to you and are being judgemental and rude!! You go home and really dig deep and step back and accept the fact your behavior and your interpretation/perception may not be what is being said, simply you're scared shITless and you have to now accept this. So after a few weeks you go back to the doctors, more humble, with more courage, willing to accept help and understanding you have a lot to learn in the process. You get through the treatment and despite the pain, it's not as bad as the pain you were currently experiencing when your wound was festering. Over time you start feeling better and better and wonder how you could consider those doctors rude and judgemental to begin with. They were there to help, you just didn't like the answers they gave so your brain twisted their words and you remembered it differently then what was actually stated.
Now I love the meanies on here (forever your knickname) but in the above analogy they are the "doctors and specialists", and if you really stop and look at what they are replying it's NOT mean, just true. The wound is your weight or health struggles, and I quickly realized what works for a few won't work for most. There is no magic pill. If you accept that you have to face this head on, that you're a "newbie" despite being on this site for 6 years, that bluntness is not equivalent to meanness and that temper tantrums will produce pics and gifs of rainbow farting unicorns; you'll quickly see what you need to do to succeed. At least that was my perception and I take full ownership and responsibility for that!!
Best of luck.
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Amazing post and congratulations! I had a professor tell us one time that we should listen to our critics because they might be trying to tell us something. I've never forgotten that wisdom. Keep up the good work!0
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I think there's a huge difference between the "meanies" and the "know-it-alls".
Mean/blunt/straight forward, whatever you call it... I don't see anything wrong with it. If what they're saying is true and *necessary* (this is key), no need to sugar coat anything.
The "know-it-alls" are the ones who hijack threads and don't offer any kind of helpful response to a question asked, but would rather pick apart semantics or inject their own opinion as fact. In one thread I've read, one poster asked MFP "what are some good, low-cal junk food crap type snacks?" Another poster felt it necessary to then say, "what is junk food omg I've never heard this term before" (come on, really?) followed by someone else posting behind him/her "if I were to ask for ideas, I'd say 'what are some good sweet snacking options'" or something like that. It wastes time and isn't helpful. Just because YOU don't call it BLANK doesn't mean you didn't know what she meant by BLANK.
"Meanies" keep doing your thing, but "know-it-alls"... please. Please.0 -
krisalexine wrote: »I think there's a huge difference between the "meanies" and the "know-it-alls".
Mean/blunt/straight forward, whatever you call it... I don't see anything wrong with it. If what they're saying is true and *necessary* (this is key), no need to sugar coat anything.
The "know-it-alls" are the ones who hijack threads and don't offer any kind of helpful response to a question asked, but would rather pick apart semantics or inject their own opinion as fact. In one thread I've read, one poster asked MFP "what are some good, low-cal junk food crap type snacks?" Another poster felt it necessary to then say, "what is junk food omg I've never heard this term before" (come on, really?) followed by someone else posting behind him/her "if I were to ask for ideas, I'd say 'what are some good sweet snacking options'" or something like that. It wastes time and isn't helpful. Just because YOU don't call it BLANK doesn't mean you didn't know what she meant by BLANK.
"Meanies" keep doing your thing, but "know-it-alls"... please. Please.
^^ This girl knows what she is talking about.
I just want to know who are the mean girls.0 -
You're going to do great OP.
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krisalexine wrote: »I think there's a huge difference between the "meanies" and the "know-it-alls".
Mean/blunt/straight forward, whatever you call it... I don't see anything wrong with it. If what they're saying is true and *necessary* (this is key), no need to sugar coat anything.
The "know-it-alls" are the ones who hijack threads and don't offer any kind of helpful response to a question asked, but would rather pick apart semantics or inject their own opinion as fact. In one thread I've read, one poster asked MFP "what are some good, low-cal junk food crap type snacks?" Another poster felt it necessary to then say, "what is junk food omg I've never heard this term before" (come on, really?) followed by someone else posting behind him/her "if I were to ask for ideas, I'd say 'what are some good sweet snacking options'" or something like that. It wastes time and isn't helpful. Just because YOU don't call it BLANK doesn't mean you didn't know what she meant by BLANK.
"Meanies" keep doing your thing, but "know-it-alls"... please. Please.
True! Although I found the "know it alls" are often called out by others. It is the internet so I expect that. But again Ive not been active so this is just in my small experience.0 -
It helps to be honest with yourself--and gentle with yourself. Losing weight isn't easy, but usually nothing worth achieving comes easily. MFP is a fantastic tool if you log faithfully (I'm at 470 days, have lost 70 pounds), move more, and eat healthy. You've got this!0
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This post was not what I expected from the title.
I'm so glad that you took one of the biggest hurdles. You are the only one that can control your weightloss, and it sounds like you are now realizing that.
Good luck on losing your weight. We all want you to succeed! Can't wait to read your success story!
ETA: realised this is a pretty old post, but read through some of the comments and love OP's attitude so much. Especially realising people weren't being mean and that it was just perception. In the two weeks I've been on this forum I've realised almost everyone is genuinly trying to help. Not every post is phrased well and sometimes there is some frustration by people asking the same question over and over, but I think everyone wants to help.0 -
I'm glad this post got bumped as I remember when it first got posted and how refreshing it was... I hope the OP is still having success and would love if she would comment again!0
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I do get the intent of the OP. The OP reacted to the TRUTH, bluntly told about how to deal with things; rejected in anger and hurt feelings; but eventually the harsh reality of their words sunk in and turned OP around - success!
And congratulations to the OP for turning around - admitting you are wrong and fundamentally changing is HARD.
But - I also understand where the following is coming from; and it DOESN'T necessarily mean that she didn't read the OP's post.tinascar2015 wrote: »I still don't condone the mob mentality and ganging up on people who post here when they're at their lowest point and emotionally frayed. I think some threads devolve into mocking and LOLing right away. Some people just come here knowing nothing and looking for people with similar experiences. Good for you for coming back, but I wonder how many people never do.
There are a great many ways to impart tough love. And I have NEVER seen a situation where mocking is appropriate or helpful. Tough love - yes. Mocking, laughing at, ridiculing? No. Never.
Another point; I have three children. They all made plenty of mistakes growing up and I needed to from time to time correct them. Did I correct them in the same way? No way. One would have been crushed by the approach I had to use on another. Different people require different styles of intervention.
So I'm thrilled that the mocking/harsh/sometimes abusive approach woke the OP up and produced good results. But I guarantee you that approach will not work with everyone; but another approach at tough love might. Just saying.
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