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judged by your weight

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Replies

  • suzeequu
    suzeequu Posts: 110 Member
    marinabreeze wrote: »
    This is why I do not miss dating.

    I did experience similar to the OP when I was doing online dating before I met my DH. I never lied about what I looked like, and sometimes I got rude comments. One that sticks out to me is once when I posted a profile that mentioned I was looking for serious and long-term, no casual hookups. Some guy messaged me saying he wanted to have a casual hookup, and was explicit about it. I told him politely that I wasn't looking for that. He then says you fatty no one would date a whale like you.

    Not all of my dating experiences were like that, but I get where the OP is coming from. Everyone on some level wants to be loved and accepted, and just because one is overweight doesn't make them less worthy of love.

    Now honesty is one thing, but being a dick is another thing entirely. No one deserves to be put down like that - there is no way that is okay. Just say you're not interested and that's it. The put downs are unnecessary.

    And I'm sorry, but someone else slamming me unsolicited for my weight is not motivating in the least. It actually was the biggest roadblock for me losing weight - I feared being treated differently once I lost weight. FWIW I didn't get motivated to lose weight until after I got married and I no longer had the pressure of trying to be thin to gain the approval of men out in the dating world. I needed to do it for myself, not to get the approval of those who couldn't accept me as I was.

    I love myself for what I have done so far...74 lbs since fitness pal..but I had lost 20 before I even joined on here. I dont let anyone take that away from me. I am smart enough to know that he must be insecure himself to treat others so terribly. I am lovable, giving, compassionate and if I end up alone , so be it. But I believe in the good of people for the most part and have found so much support on here. Not everyone who has everyone been as overweight as I was at one point can understand how it feels to be negated for that one thing, but I really have never judged anyone who doesnt like overweight people..but I do judge those that hit below the belt about it as he did. I like being kind to people...even when they dont deserve it..it is who I am :)
    I am not a doormat by any means..but I keep my energy and mindset as positive as I can. I am a lover, not a hater <3

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