Question about these message boards...

1235»

Replies

  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
    These boards are extremely tame in comparison to everything else I have seen on the internet. I suggest developing a thicker skin before becoming further involved in the social/forum aspect of any site if it bothers you. That is just my advice.

    pretty much, that.

    When you're here every day and see the SAME question posted MULTIPLE times a day.... yeah, we can get a little curt LOL There is a search function. It does work. It seems few people know how to use it. LOL

    Or, if you're an idiot.

    You can't let the forums bother you. Even as long as I've been here, I get my butt handed to me sometimes on them. It's all good, and all in how you take it.
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
    edited April 2015
    wizzybeth wrote: »
    Oh and if you want really ...intense... forums...visit old school Fundamentalist Christian boards....and start a thread about evolution, abortion, King James Bible, etc. Those are the "detox, cleanse, jucing" terms for those groups.

    No, the REAL killer forums? Fundamentalist Christian parenting forums.

    That schnizz was REAL.

    Don't ask me about my past. I've come a long way.

  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
    I've never been to Baby Center, honestly. I have spent a lot of time on chronic illness forums though and while they do tend to be much gentler places than MFP (apart from the tendency people have to claim that they have the worst, most painful illness and no one else understands their suffering) they also tend to be full of nonsense with no one calling out anything that's just plain wrong and potentially dangerous.

    I prefer MFP. It's rough and it's not for everyone, but I like it here.

    I was on another specialty hobby forum, and the chronic illness subforum there made my teeth hurt.

    Anyone who knows me here knows I have a fair share of chronic illnesses, but dwelling on them and making them the central focus of my life? I don't get that thinking. Those forums weren't for me. I think it's a sad way to live life.



  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
    MrM27 wrote: »
    In all seriousness, this is the Internet, you have people of all adult ages, worldwide locations, different ways of thinking for each other, different character traits and flaws, you will almost never find a consensus on a topic. People will turn around and say that others are being rude because it's online or that they wouldn't speak a certain way to someone in person but the truth is, you just don't know that. You might come from a small town or city somewhere and think to yourself "Those NY or Boston people are aholes online" but how would you know what they are like offline? Being rude can a lot of the time be very subjective. Being delicate to criticism or lack of validation doesn't apply to everyone everywhere.

    I'm one of the people in the forum that is most hated by many. And I'm fine with that. But at the same time I have a lot of people that are close to me. We get out of hand a lot and things get dumb sometimes but if you put your emotions aside and look at what people are arguing or debating at times you'll realize that great information is in there.

    A lot of people will come around spreading misconceptions about things we have all heard before and sometimes it's tough to admit what you thought you knew wasn't right. A lot of these questions asked day in and day out can be found easily if a little effort is applied. Google isn't the mecca but it gives you a great platform to search from. Look for an answer, then look some more, then question what you found and look at the reverse and search some more. Fact check everything on your own. If you don't like the attitude someone had when began "being rude" and you think they are wrong then go look for the information to come back at them. Come back with all the information you can and try to shut that persons information down. And in the process you went out and did some more learning on your own. That sticks with you longer in life that the people on this site. This online stuff isn't real life. If tomorrow someone vanishes of this site, I still pay my rent this month and feed my family. That's real life.

    giphy.gif


    For the record, in the time I lurked before posting, you were one of the posters I found most helpful as a barometer on any given topic. It was obvious you knew what you were talking about.

  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    kgeyser wrote: »
    I don't think the message boards here are that bad, but I survived The Knot. I do have some tips for the forums, in no particular order:

    1. If you're asking for help, be upfront and honest about everything. No one wants to spend 5 pages trying to help you figure out calorie counts or why you aren't losing only for you to trot out a medical condition on page 6. If you're not comfortable talking about the medical issue on the main forums, try the groups for help with your questions.

    2. You are going to be wrong about something at some point. Someone pointing out that you arrived at a conclusion based on incorrect information or just a plain old oversight does not make them mean, a troll, or a hater. They're just someone who pointed out a flaw in your thinking. Yes, it's embarrassing to realize you screwed up, but that's about you, not them. This is where gifs come in handy.

    3. Just because someone responds to you with sunshine and rainbows doesn't mean that they have your best interests in mind. Just because someone comes off as blunt or harsh doesn't mean that they are trying to be mean to you or keep you from succeeding. Read everything as though it is being said by Kermit the Frog. 90% of the arguments on here have less to do with what someone actually said than the tone in which the reader perceives it was said.

    4. Review the community guidelines and learn how the reporting system works. Yes, the mods read every report that comes in. There's a section where you can add text, feel free to say hi.

    5. Cat gifs. Always cat gifs. Or any kind of gif, really.

    6. Those people who are always arguing about something? Every single one of them, on both sides of every single issue that gets debated, has taken time to help someone on these forums. And not just help them with a quick response, but sat patiently through pages and pages, explaining the same things they've explained 100 times before to other users, just to help out a stranger who is frustrated, or confused, or doubting themselves, or just flat-out scared. I've seen it, and if you give this place a chance and don't just focus on the drama, you'll see it too.

    7. You can block entire forums from the http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/ page by hovering over the forum name, then clicking on the gear and selecting Unfollow. Unless you were on the edge of your seat waiting to see what that one person thinks about that poster above them.

    8. Brownies are delicious. Ok, that's not really about the forums, but I needed an even numbered list because I am a crazy person.

    I think I just fell in love a little :love:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I've never been to Baby Center, honestly. I have spent a lot of time on chronic illness forums though and while they do tend to be much gentler places than MFP (apart from the tendency people have to claim that they have the worst, most painful illness and no one else understands their suffering) they also tend to be full of nonsense with no one calling out anything that's just plain wrong and potentially dangerous.

    I prefer MFP. It's rough and it's not for everyone, but I like it here.

    I was on another specialty hobby forum, and the chronic illness subforum there made my teeth hurt.

    Anyone who knows me here knows I have a fair share of chronic illnesses, but dwelling on them and making them the central focus of my life? I don't get that thinking. Those forums weren't for me. I think it's a sad way to live life.



    I find them most helpful in the beginning stages of a diagnosis (I've had several as well, and a few "maybes" about which I was seeking more info). It can be helpful to read others' experiences and get an idea of what to expect. But it can easily turn into a pity/self-pity fest and that doesn't appeal to me. Like you, I don't want to dwell on it, I just want to learn how to deal with it and then move on.
  • fatjon73
    fatjon73 Posts: 379 Member
    wizzybeth wrote: »
    tomatoey wrote: »
    wizzybeth wrote: »
    Oh and if you want really ...intense... forums...visit old school Fundamentalist Christian boards....and start a thread about evolution, abortion, King James Bible, etc. Those are the "detox, cleanse, jucing" terms for those groups.

    Um. There is really nothing that would make me do that, ever.

    Very wise. LOL

    I may give this one a go...sound like a buzz.....lol

    If I am bored on a Sunday morning I like to invite Jehovah's witness's into my house...I sit them down then ask them why they do not let there children have blood transfusions....and why they pay 25% of there money to the church...I ask if they feel trapped and if they want me to help get them out.....I then offer them a home cooked biscuit...tell them there pot cakes...and they soon leave.....its my way of getting my own back on the *kitten* for waking me up on my lazy sundays.;......


  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,489 Member
    wizzybeth wrote: »
    Oh and if you want really ...intense... forums...visit old school Fundamentalist Christian boards....and start a thread about evolution, abortion, King James Bible, etc. Those are the "detox, cleanse, jucing" terms for those groups.

    No, the REAL killer forums? Fundamentalist Christian parenting forums.

    That schnizz was REAL.

    Don't ask me about my past. I've come a long way.
    Lol, now I want to just go check it out to see the chaos.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,573 Member
    wizzybeth wrote: »
    Oh and if you want really ...intense... forums...visit old school Fundamentalist Christian boards....and start a thread about evolution, abortion, King James Bible, etc. Those are the "detox, cleanse, jucing" terms for those groups.

    No, the REAL killer forums? Fundamentalist Christian parenting forums.

    That schnizz was REAL.

    Don't ask me about my past. I've come a long way.

    Me too! LOL
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,573 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    wizzybeth wrote: »
    Oh and if you want really ...intense... forums...visit old school Fundamentalist Christian boards....and start a thread about evolution, abortion, King James Bible, etc. Those are the "detox, cleanse, jucing" terms for those groups.

    No, the REAL killer forums? Fundamentalist Christian parenting forums.

    That schnizz was REAL.

    Don't ask me about my past. I've come a long way.
    Lol, now I want to just go check it out to see the chaos.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    DON'T DO IT!!!!
  • SconnieCat
    SconnieCat Posts: 770 Member
    MrM27 wrote: »
    In all seriousness, this is the Internet, you have people of all adult ages, worldwide locations, different ways of thinking for each other, different character traits and flaws, you will almost never find a consensus on a topic. People will turn around and say that others are being rude because it's online or that they wouldn't speak a certain way to someone in person but the truth is, you just don't know that. You might come from a small town or city somewhere and think to yourself "Those NY or Boston people are aholes online" but how would you know what they are like offline? Being rude can a lot of the time be very subjective. Being delicate to criticism or lack of validation doesn't apply to everyone everywhere.

    I'm one of the people in the forum that is most hated by many. And I'm fine with that. But at the same time I have a lot of people that are close to me. We get out of hand a lot and things get dumb sometimes but if you put your emotions aside and look at what people are arguing or debating at times you'll realize that great information is in there.

    A lot of people will come around spreading misconceptions about things we have all heard before and sometimes it's tough to admit what you thought you knew wasn't right. A lot of these questions asked day in and day out can be found easily if a little effort is applied. Google isn't the mecca but it gives you a great platform to search from. Look for an answer, then look some more, then question what you found and look at the reverse and search some more. Fact check everything on your own. If you don't like the attitude someone had when began "being rude" and you think they are wrong then go look for the information to come back at them. Come back with all the information you can and try to shut that persons information down. And in the process you went out and did some more learning on your own. That sticks with you longer in life that the people on this site. This online stuff isn't real life. If tomorrow someone vanishes of this site, I still pay my rent this month and feed my family. That's real life.

    giphy.gif


    For the record, in the time I lurked before posting, you were one of the posters I found most helpful as a barometer on any given topic. It was obvious you knew what you were talking about.

    I was just going to say that same exact thing.
  • SconnieCat
    SconnieCat Posts: 770 Member
    edited April 2015
    kgeyser wrote: »
    I don't think the message boards here are that bad, but I survived The Knot. I do have some tips for the forums, in no particular order:

    1. If you're asking for help, be upfront and honest about everything. No one wants to spend 5 pages trying to help you figure out calorie counts or why you aren't losing only for you to trot out a medical condition on page 6. If you're not comfortable talking about the medical issue on the main forums, try the groups for help with your questions.

    2. You are going to be wrong about something at some point. Someone pointing out that you arrived at a conclusion based on incorrect information or just a plain old oversight does not make them mean, a troll, or a hater. They're just someone who pointed out a flaw in your thinking. Yes, it's embarrassing to realize you screwed up, but that's about you, not them. This is where gifs come in handy.

    3. Just because someone responds to you with sunshine and rainbows doesn't mean that they have your best interests in mind. Just because someone comes off as blunt or harsh doesn't mean that they are trying to be mean to you or keep you from succeeding. Read everything as though it is being said by Kermit the Frog. 90% of the arguments on here have less to do with what someone actually said than the tone in which the reader perceives it was said.

    4. Review the community guidelines and learn how the reporting system works. Yes, the mods read every report that comes in. There's a section where you can add text, feel free to say hi.

    5. Cat gifs. Always cat gifs. Or any kind of gif, really.

    6. Those people who are always arguing about something? Every single one of them, on both sides of every single issue that gets debated, has taken time to help someone on these forums. And not just help them with a quick response, but sat patiently through pages and pages, explaining the same things they've explained 100 times before to other users, just to help out a stranger who is frustrated, or confused, or doubting themselves, or just flat-out scared. I've seen it, and if you give this place a chance and don't just focus on the drama, you'll see it too.

    7. You can block entire forums from the http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/ page by hovering over the forum name, then clicking on the gear and selecting Unfollow. Unless you were on the edge of your seat waiting to see what that one person thinks about that poster above them.

    8. Brownies are delicious. Ok, that's not really about the forums, but I needed an even numbered list because I am a crazy person.


    Praise jesus. Yeas.

    giphy.gif

  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,389 MFP Moderator
    yarwell wrote: »
    psulemon wrote: »
    @kgeyser‌ i can reassure you that your #2 is wrong because i have never said anything wrong on the forums

    irony ?
    More sarcasm than anything else. The main point is, sometimes we need to be told we are wrong in order to learn. And it happens to all of us. But if you go in with a thicker skin and open mind, you will do fine on any forum.
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
    psulemon wrote: »
    yarwell wrote: »
    psulemon wrote: »
    @kgeyser‌ i can reassure you that your #2 is wrong because i have never said anything wrong on the forums

    irony ?
    More sarcasm than anything else. The main point is, sometimes we need to be told we are wrong in order to learn. And it happens to all of us. But if you go in with a thicker skin and open mind, you will do fine on any forum.

    Google is a good friend. When i am told I am wrong, I google the item in question and see what the majority think. I have learned a lot that way. Sometimes I was wrong, and some times I was right.

    My tips for staying sane here:
    1. Never speak in absolutes or tell anyone they HAVE TO do something (except weigh, measure, and log)
    2. Give all pertinent information up front. If asking about the number of calories you are or should be eating, give your age, height, current weight
    3. Let certain comments (or commenters) roll off your back
    4. Let common sense be your guide. If it sounds weird or too good to be true, it probably is
    5. Assume nothing. Ask for clarification if someone isn't making sense

    I only participate here, a forum for long hair care, and a forum for owners of planted aquariums. This is the snarkiest of the three, but really isn't too bad

    One last thing: If you do the Peep cleanse, remember to not eat the eyes.

  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,302 Member
    I do not understand the bingo thing. Can someone explain that to me?

    look up flounce. . . .

  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    As a lurker I really enjoy the forums and I have learned a lot from them. While some people see things as mean I see things like this:

    -People who are nice enough to take the time out of their day to go through someone's diary and give feedback.

    -People who care enough to take the time to reply to threads that have been posted 100's of times, especially when it comes to MLM schemes and fad diets. Even if the OP is dead set on going forth with whatever the plan is, they care enough to put the facts out there for anyone who is lurking the thread.

    -People who call others out on their excuses and help them find solutions.

    I've been in weight loss groups where the main goal seemed to be to validation. While a pat on the hand may be ok in some cases it really doesn't get to the root of whatever the problem is. I don't see that as being helpful at all since a lot of those people remained stuck and frustrated and eventually gave up. I guess we all have our interpretations of what support is.