Kids' eating disorders?

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  • NoIdea101NoIdea
    NoIdea101NoIdea Posts: 659 Member
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    kpodaru wrote: »
    doesn't sound like an eating disorder but poor eating habits passed on by the parents. it's not your place to say anything or feed them (unfortunately) but that doesn't mean you can't be a great aunt and take them out for activities to get them moving!

    Thanks, kpodaru, you made me smile!

    Yep, this! Try actually teaching them about nutrition (maybe when they are a bit older, but you could start slipping in little bits here and there). I was overweight as a kid and got bullied for it a lot, from the age of 12 upwards. When I hit 16, I would go to the gym and burn 300 calories (I was so desperate to lose weight so the bullying would stop) but then go to the vending machine afterwards and buy a chocolate bar as a treat, then wonder why I wasn't losing weight.

    Problem was, I had no idea what a calorie was really. I wish someone had educated me early on, so when I was allowed to make my own choices I made healthier ones. But you need to be sensitive about this; find a way of doing it that doesn't sound like you're pushing your 'beliefs' onto them, or are in any way insinuating that they need to lose weight. Are they into sports or celebrities at all? Y'know, maybe if they are into racing cars or something you could talk about how a racing car driver needs a certain diet to be able to be that professional?

    I'm just spit-balling ideas, and as I said, it is probably something you would want to do when they are a little bit older and will understand more. But I know that when I was younger, a little bit of education would have gone a long way.
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
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    kpodaru wrote: »
    doesn't sound like an eating disorder but poor eating habits passed on by the parents. it's not your place to say anything or feed them (unfortunately) but that doesn't mean you can't be a great aunt and take them out for activities to get them moving!

    Thanks, kpodaru, you made me smile!

    Yep, this! Try actually teaching them about nutrition (maybe when they are a bit older, but you could start slipping in little bits here and there). I was overweight as a kid and got bullied for it a lot, from the age of 12 upwards. When I hit 16, I would go to the gym and burn 300 calories (I was so desperate to lose weight so the bullying would stop) but then go to the vending machine afterwards and buy a chocolate bar as a treat, then wonder why I wasn't losing weight.

    Problem was, I had no idea what a calorie was really. I wish someone had educated me early on, so when I was allowed to make my own choices I made healthier ones. But you need to be sensitive about this; find a way of doing it that doesn't sound like you're pushing your 'beliefs' onto them, or are in any way insinuating that they need to lose weight. Are they into sports or celebrities at all? Y'know, maybe if they are into racing cars or something you could talk about how a racing car driver needs a certain diet to be able to be that professional?

    I'm just spit-balling ideas, and as I said, it is probably something you would want to do when they are a little bit older and will understand more. But I know that when I was younger, a little bit of education would have gone a long way.

    Thank you so much, Noldea. That's what I'm trying to do with my niece in an non-obtrusive way. I don't get why so many people here are blasting me.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    Not your children, so you get no say in how they are raised. No if ands or buts. End of story.

    If you really think there is a problem you would contact CPS, not rant about it on a website. Unless you think the children are being abjsed and you plan on calling CPS stay out of it. How would you like it if someone took it upon themselves to interfer with your parenting?

    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?

    Maybe she just realizes that trying to tell your siblings how to raise their kids because you're projecting eating disorders on children is a bad idea.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?

    Whoa, whoa, WHOA. No need to level personal attacks on other members who are just trying to provide helpful advice.

    Agree with everyone who said that talking to an 11-year-old girl about calories is a perfect way to give her a complex and an eating disorder. You're their aunt, not their parent. Keep out of it.
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    Not your children, so you get no say in how they are raised. No if ands or buts. End of story.

    If you really think there is a problem you would contact CPS, not rant about it on a website. Unless you think the children are being abjsed and you plan on calling CPS stay out of it. How would you like it if someone took it upon themselves to interfer with your parenting?

    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?

    Maybe she just realizes that trying to tell your siblings how to raise their kids because you're projecting eating disorders on children is a bad idea.

    I don't think that's it. But I appreciate your input.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    Not your children, so you get no say in how they are raised. No if ands or buts. End of story.

    If you really think there is a problem you would contact CPS, not rant about it on a website. Unless you think the children are being abjsed and you plan on calling CPS stay out of it. How would you like it if someone took it upon themselves to interfer with your parenting?

    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?
    That's uncalled for.
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
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    segacs wrote: »
    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?

    Whoa, whoa, WHOA. No need to level personal attacks on other members who are just trying to provide helpful advice.

    Agree with everyone who said that talking to an 11-year-old girl about calories is a perfect way to give her a complex and an eating disorder. You're their aunt, not their parent. Keep out of it.

    And how does educating her about calories give her a complex and eating disorder? Sheesh!
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
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    Ninkyou wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    Not your children, so you get no say in how they are raised. No if ands or buts. End of story.

    If you really think there is a problem you would contact CPS, not rant about it on a website. Unless you think the children are being abjsed and you plan on calling CPS stay out of it. How would you like it if someone took it upon themselves to interfer with your parenting?

    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?
    That's uncalled for.

    You are absolutely right. So is what she said to me.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    Not your children, so you get no say in how they are raised. No if ands or buts. End of story.

    If you really think there is a problem you would contact CPS, not rant about it on a website. Unless you think the children are being abjsed and you plan on calling CPS stay out of it. How would you like it if someone took it upon themselves to interfer with your parenting?

    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?

    Maybe she just realizes that trying to tell your siblings how to raise their kids because you're projecting eating disorders on children is a bad idea.

    I don't think that's it. But I appreciate your input.

    Given your original post, I don't have much confidence in your psychological acuity. Maybe you should focus on trying to accurately understand the people around you before you begin trying to guess what might be going on in the minds of strangers.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    Not your children, so you get no say in how they are raised. No if ands or buts. End of story.

    If you really think there is a problem you would contact CPS, not rant about it on a website. Unless you think the children are being abjsed and you plan on calling CPS stay out of it. How would you like it if someone took it upon themselves to interfer with your parenting?

    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?

    Uncalled for.

    And FYi- I gained 100lbs after my fiancé died and I ended up in a spiraling depression. Thank you for being so judgmental and rude though.
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
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    Wow, it's so great to have a free psychiatrist! When can we meet in person to delve into my personality disorders?
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    segacs wrote: »
    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?

    Whoa, whoa, WHOA. No need to level personal attacks on other members who are just trying to provide helpful advice.

    Agree with everyone who said that talking to an 11-year-old girl about calories is a perfect way to give her a complex and an eating disorder. You're their aunt, not their parent. Keep out of it.

    And how does educating her about calories give her a complex and eating disorder? Sheesh!

    Because a young (impressionable) child doesn't need to know anything about calories. jmho
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    segacs wrote: »
    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?

    Whoa, whoa, WHOA. No need to level personal attacks on other members who are just trying to provide helpful advice.

    Agree with everyone who said that talking to an 11-year-old girl about calories is a perfect way to give her a complex and an eating disorder. You're their aunt, not their parent. Keep out of it.

    And how does educating her about calories give her a complex and eating disorder? Sheesh!

    Because teens are complex and it can be taken as "aunt so and so thinks I'm fat so I beyyer lose weight or she won't stop bothering me about it".
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    Ninkyou wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    Not your children, so you get no say in how they are raised. No if ands or buts. End of story.

    If you really think there is a problem you would contact CPS, not rant about it on a website. Unless you think the children are being abjsed and you plan on calling CPS stay out of it. How would you like it if someone took it upon themselves to interfer with your parenting?

    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?
    That's uncalled for.

    You are absolutely right. So is what she said to me.

    I don't think she said anything wrong. If there's true concern over a child (such as a starving child), you contact the police/CPS. Otherwise, stay out of it. No one wants their parenting skills put into question. Especially over something like a child's eating habits... which from what you've written is pretty normal.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    I agree with others, it's really not your problem to solve...but I do understand your concern. While the title of your post doesn't really seem to be on point here (eating disorders? wat?) I definitely can relate...there's a friend of the family whose 6 yr old son is quite overweight already, and he's very much aware of it and concerned. Their family is working on being more active, cooking healthy meals, etc...which is wonderful, BUT they turn right around and go out for shakes and slushes nightly. Every night. Hundreds of calories downed in a few minutes' time, and that is a LOT for a 6 yr old. Breaks my heart but what can I do?!
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    And how does educating her about calories give her a complex and eating disorder? Sheesh!

    I'm going to take this question at face value, even though, since you are a parent, you probably already know this. But the self-esteem of girls in particular takes a steep nosedive around pre-puberty and puberty. At the same time, these girls are facing media and peer pressure, the judgment of their friends or of the boys in their class, and changes in their bodies that they aren't equipped yet to understand.

    It's well established that calorie counting is a useful tool for many adults, but is pretty much a no-no for kids and teens. They're still growing and developing. Dieting among pre-teens has actually been linked to obesity and weight gain. Kids that age need to be getting adequate nutrition and not getting a complex about calories or diets. That -- among other reasons -- is why MFP is a site for people ages 18+.

    As for your nephew, picky eating is very common and pretty normal among kids that age. It's not usually the sign of a disorder; it's often the sign of rebellion as kids start testing the boundaries of their parents. In most cases, it sorts itself out on its own. And being skinny at 9 years old is perfectly fine, too -- many kids grow in height and weight unevenly.

    If you have your niece's and nephew's best interests at heart, you'll stay out of it. Focus on yourself and on your own kids. Let their parents focus on them.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    81Katz wrote: »
    segacs wrote: »
    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?

    Whoa, whoa, WHOA. No need to level personal attacks on other members who are just trying to provide helpful advice.

    Agree with everyone who said that talking to an 11-year-old girl about calories is a perfect way to give her a complex and an eating disorder. You're their aunt, not their parent. Keep out of it.

    And how does educating her about calories give her a complex and eating disorder? Sheesh!

    Because a young (impressionable) child doesn't need to know anything about calories. jmho

    Plus kids are really good at picking up on things. The 'innocent' calorie talk turns into "My aunt thinks I eat too many calories, which means I'm fat. I better stop eating so much. Maybe if I just eat an apple a day.... "

  • jorinya
    jorinya Posts: 933 Member
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    HOLD IT RIGHT THERE EVERYONE!!!! Sorry for shouting!!!!
    This is getting out of hand. We are all here for the same reason, to get fit and healthy and support each other and not fight. Please everyone apologise to each other, say something nice and lets remember why we are here. Come on now, it takes a bigger person to say sorry. Let's keep everything nice and peaceful and relaxed and support each other with caring words not words that hurt and destroy. I was going to leave MFP a few days ago because of nasty comments. What would that have done to my progress? Lets all can down and stop attacking each other. We're all adults. We know how to get on with each other even if we have different opinions. Everyone ok???
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    Ninkyou wrote: »
    81Katz wrote: »
    segacs wrote: »
    According to your profile, you are very young and obese. Are you jealous that you didn't have an aunt who cared enough about you to turn that around?

    Whoa, whoa, WHOA. No need to level personal attacks on other members who are just trying to provide helpful advice.

    Agree with everyone who said that talking to an 11-year-old girl about calories is a perfect way to give her a complex and an eating disorder. You're their aunt, not their parent. Keep out of it.

    And how does educating her about calories give her a complex and eating disorder? Sheesh!

    Because a young (impressionable) child doesn't need to know anything about calories. jmho

    Plus kids are really good at picking up on things. The 'innocent' calorie talk turns into "My aunt thinks I eat too many calories, which means I'm fat. I better stop eating so much. Maybe if I just eat an apple a day.... "

    Agreed.
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
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    I agree with others, it's really not your problem to solve...but I do understand your concern. While the title of your post doesn't really seem to be on point here (eating disorders? wat?) I definitely can relate...there's a friend of the family whose 6 yr old son is quite overweight already, and he's very much aware of it and concerned. Their family is working on being more active, cooking healthy meals, etc...which is wonderful, BUT they turn right around and go out for shakes and slushes nightly. Every night. Hundreds of calories downed in a few minutes' time, and that is a LOT for a 6 yr old. Breaks my heart but what can I do?!

    Yes, that's the part that kills me. And everyone is right - short of calling CPS, which I would never do, I am helpless.
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