Unsupportive Partners

nightingale702

JaneiR36teams.0863 wrote:

Maybe you could save some $$ by downgrading the membership to a single rather than joint? Did he ever show any actual interest in using it? Even if they're interested in exercise, some people do prefer other stuff such as walking/running outside, basketball game with the buddies, etc. Also I don't know if it's just a convenience thing that he's got the wrappers in the car, but consider that ideally he should be able to eat what he wants without being or feeling judged

Thanks for the thoughts!
Its cheaper for each of us with the joint membership, even if he doesn't actually go. That's a great idea, community sports. I was talking with coworkers about softball teams Etc., maybe that's a start.
To be clear, the fast food bags are things I notice, but never talk to him about. I'm making and educated guess that what he's consuming is unhealthy, and I care about his health, but I don't think that reflects on him as a person or any type of judgment of that type.

nightingale702

fitnurse09 wrote: »

I usually say something like "put the cookie down!" (and usually its not a cookie) and then I will walk away from the delicious smell and feel great of my choice.

That's a great thing. Lol!

CSARdiver

My wife and I were out of synch on fitness - I originally wanted to be more active and she wasn't interested. Then years later she became more interested and I became less. Now we're in synch with working out and getting closer to doing things together with the kids, but not there yet. We walk/hike/bike with the kids, but still want to do more backpacking/racing/mud runs, etc. What we lack now is time.

Chieflrg

I fail to understand how drinking a beer or ordering a pizza is unsupportive any more than you eating what you want unsupportive to him.

If he was handing you a beer that you made it clear you didn't want at the time or slapping a piece of pizza on your plate when you didn't allocate cals for it, then I can see your point.

nightingale702

Chieflrg wrote: »

I fail to understand how drinking a beer or ordering a pizza is unsupportive any more than you eating what you want unsupportive to him.

If he was handing you a beer that you made it clear you didn't want at the time or slapping a piece of pizza on your plate when you didn't allocate cals for it, then I can see your point.

I see your point. I'd say its more passive than unsupportive, which is where a lot of people probably find themselves with their partners, although some people might actually have to navigate through remarks like "you look great, stop worrying so much about what you are eating and enjoy this dinner I made/bought!"

ElizabethKalmbach

My husband and I have drastically different schedules, and drastically different health needs. I have bizarre auto-immune issues, and he has trouble getting healthy amounts of sleep. We belong to different gyms (I get discounts at the University I work for, he belongs to an MMA focused gym, because that's how he likes to work out.), the only meal we eat together is dinner, and even when we eat together, he'll be dodging carbs and acidic foods, and I'll be eating those same things like they're going out of style. Meanwhile, our 5-year-old child has decided that she's a vegetarian and will want craisins, peanutbutter, cheese, and carrots for dinner. AGAIN.

We each choose our own road to healthy, and how hard we work on it on a given day, and what the definition of healthy even IS. That doesn't mean we love each other any less. It just means we have three different bodies with different needs. Find your road, make your plan. Execute.