WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2015

kayak_kutie

Good Morning ladies,

Whew! Finally got caught up after missing most of last week on vacation.

Alison - Happy Birthday! So sorry for the medical news and how DH responded.

Renny - Happy Belated Birthday!

Pip - love the poems and the pictures.

Lisa - beautiful wedding pictures and happy belated anniversary

Sorry, I was so intent on reading and trying to catch up I didn't take any notes. So sad to see those that had such a horrible time with the people in their lives.

Just got back from a great week in Ontario, Canada. It was a beautiful area near the Georgian Bay and the Blue Mountains. Had fun getting used to seeing the temps in Celsius and trying to do the conversion. Will post a picture or two once I get them downloaded from my camera. I did well on keeping my weight the same as we spent many hours walking the beaches, exploring the caves and hiking the trails. Well over 15000 steps most days. Only had one day where it was showering so tried our hand at 5 pin bowling. That was such a change. They use the smaller balls we use for duckpin and the pins have a point value, ie the head pin is worth 5 points, two on either side are worth 3 points, and the two on the ends are worth 2 points for a total of 15 points each frame.

Well, I hear my DH upstairs stirring so time to get the coffee going. Will share my 'how we met' next time.

Take care,
Tina in MD

drkatiebug

Allison, I am so sorry for your diagnosis. I think we all agree that we need to sic Pip on your husband. Geez!
Try to salvage some of the day to enjoy your birthday.

barbiecat

Alison, I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis....stay in the moment....... I'll join the group that's gearing up to come and set your hubby straight about how to behave.

lhannon062709

Alison ( @grandmallie ) - I'm so sorry about the diagnosis; end-stage renal disease sounds very final, but with dialysis or a transplant, there is much hope. I cannot address your husband's behavior or responses in this venue, as the words I want to use are not socially acceptable. Just... abuse comes in many forms, and many of us on this forum have been abused in one way or another--and he verbally abuses you. Wish there were a way to send real hugs down these electrons... There are so many kind and gentle thoughts and prayers headed your way from a lot of amazing women. Wish we could do more.

Mary in Minn - I've bought and sold property a half dozen times now, and I usually need someone to pull me down out of the nearest tree by the time I'm done. You have my complete sympathy. Sometimes I believe the unnecessary complications were introduced by the realty world in order to keep their jobs, and it is only getting worse. We plan to buy one more piece of property, and it will be the last one, so we're taking our time.

We're very fortunate, as my DH's job comes with a three-bedroom, two and a half bath house and an acre-size yard. Conservatively, we figure it adds something like a $15,000 annual benefit to my husband's paycheck, counting $1200 a month rent plus all the utilities--including satellite phone, Internet, and satellite TV. But, because we live here for his employer's convenience, we don't have to pay taxes on it... It's been a real wakeup call for us to house ownership, how much it actually costs to have a roof over our heads. As of July, now that things have settled down, we're going to be putting a house payment away into savings each month (or more) for our forever house, in order to have a massive down payment, if not be able to pay for a house in cash, and skip all the horrible mess that goes along with banks/mortgages, etc.

I am one happy camper this morning. Today marks the end of three months of changing my life around to accommodate exercise, eating right, and the first 90 days are the best time to lose the most amount of weight. I began at 210 on April 1, and was shooting for 175, a total of 35 pounds lost--mainly to get my weight under my husband's! I did not make it. But, as I got closer to the end of this time period, I did set a compromise position - I wanted very much to get past the 30-pound lost mark, and below 180. As of this morning, I'm at 179... a total of 5 pounds lost for June, which makes me very happy. My hubby, because he's kept most of the snacks out of the house for my sake, and been paying more attention, and since he cooks for me without added fats, has actually lost from 177 to 173! So I've got a ways to go anyway... So I'll shoot for it again in July!

July goals (I'll transfer them to the new thread tomorrow)

• Weigh less than my husband by the end of July.
• Run farther than I did at the end of June (get consistently past 4-mile mark)
• Run faster than I did in June - (get consistently faster than a 15-minute mile)
• Keep calorie levels steady 1400-1500 daily, 140-150 g protein daily.
• Get the core work going, at least crunches!
• Write 3000 words a day, every day in July--complete first draft of the sequel to This Little Pig.
• BISHOK… Butt in seat, hands on keyboard every single day. At my typing speed of 100 wpm, should take only 30 minutes, right? Do it.

csofled

barbiecat wrote: »

Alison, I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis....stay in the moment....... I'll join the group that's gearing up to come and set your hubby straight about how to behave.

Ditto here Allison! As if having a medical condition weren't enough you have to "suffer" with a "disengaged in reality" husband! Hope you have some happiness today on your birthday!

Cheri

csofled

barbiecat wrote: »

Alison, I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis....stay in the moment....... I'll join the group that's gearing up to come and set your hubby straight about how to behave.

Ditto here Allison! As if having a medical condition weren't enough you have to "suffer" with a "disengaged in reality" husband! Hope you have some happiness today on your birthday!

Cheri

csofled

Sorry for double post...geez

mollywhippet

Alison, I'm so sorry to hear your diagnosis. As far as that rat *kitten* you are married to...I have an iron skillet with his name on it. I'll bring it when we all get together. Please get away from him! You do not need his negativity, especially right now.

Sylvia

margaretturk

Nancy loved your idea of short scripts to have ready. When I want to take myself out of a situation I tell them I have to go to the bathroom. They can't follow me or argue about that and more than likely I need to go to the bathroom anyway. LOL

cityjaneLondon

Alison - good wishes for your poor kidneys. :flowerforyou:

Lagopus - the restaurant is great for quiet ambiance, but food is overpriced. Annoying, but I put up with it. Smart casual is fine there.

For the hoarders - my friend did what one of you did and hired someone to help her sort stuff out. She found it invaluable, having someone there. A trusted friend can also be a great help. My friend had a garage, a huge shed and a spare room full of stuff.

My DDIL tells me their kitchen extension is all but finished! At last! Now they have the big job of moving back in to the kitchen! The house was full of stuff. All covered in dust! Can't wait to see it completed. The garden they had landscsped was looking amazing and I have to agree it was the right thing to do, though I thought it was a crazy expense. Luckily the children were not the slightest bit bothered by all the upheaval, though DGS did insist we took our shoes off before we entered his bedroom, "to keep the dust out". He is his mother's son. :laugh:

My elder son has just texted to say he is visiting next week! I have a friend coming for the night on Wednesday, so we are in the process of negotiating days. Wish he had given me more notice :ohwell: , but I am delighted he is coming at all. Last year was a very bad year for him with severe depression and medication that caused a huge weight gain. He used to be an award winning triathlon coach so that was very difficult for him. Split ups with a succession of girlfriends caused the depression, though he is liable to it anyway. He's a bit Aspergers. Will be great to see him, though he is hard work. Luckily we both like a bit of space, so he often takes himself off to his room for some "me time". Phew! Will have to do a quick blast of cleaning and bed changing in between guests. (Not really my thing! :laugh: )

Lisa - WTG on the 3000 words a day. :flowerforyou: It's a very good day if I get 600 words scribbled, though I am doing it nearly every day. I am nearing the end of the first draft of my memoir ages 1 - 9 yrs. There seems to be a moderate pile of scribble! :laugh: I still haven't plugged in my new floppy disk drive to see if an old novel is live.

Pip - you made me want to drag out my old poems. Mine are not as complementary as yours about the men in my life! ! ! ! ! ! Well done for expressing yourself so wholeheartedly. :flowerforyou:

Love to all. I sent DH out to do some basic food shopping as it's too hot for me out there. Just got to pick some sorrel for a sauce with hake. Also pick the very last of the broad beans.

Thank you all for the support yesterday. I got through it with NO damage.

Heather UK

margaretturk

Happy birthday Alison. :flowerforyou:

Barbie great job on the cookbooks . Love the scenic view.

Joyce I know what you mean about pictures. I have been going through ours. I still not through the first go through. This is the easy time to throw away those that are bad pictures of people, out of focus, etc. I am determined to keep only the ones I want and the rest like you will go the day before trash day so I cannot change my mind.

Jane glad to hear your mother is doing better.

My mom got her clothes. She said everyone has given her compliments on the Alfred Dunner shirt.

For those struggling with medical issues prayers and hope that you find a safe place externally and if you do not have that to find an internal space to promote your healing. You cannot always control what is going on around you. What you do have control over is your own private space. I took a workshop once where that is what we did. We created our own healing space in our heads. We made it the way we wanted it and invited in the people who we knew would help us heal. It was a very calming and soothing exercise. The beauty is you can go there anytime you wish. They did recommend when you are driving or in a similar situation might not be the best time to do this activity.

peachstategal

Happy Birthday to RebelRenny and Alison!

pipcd34

Annr wrote: »

pipcd34 wrote: »

Annr wrote: »

My family and I wanted to have pizza tonight, so we went to the grocery store and bought frozen ones, saved a ton of money. I had a coupon for Newman's Own thin and crispy pizza. I allotted myself 1/6 of the pizza...(one slice) and I bought olives and sliced 4 olives on it. How is THAT for being positively OCD!! Of course, I am still hungry, so that is why I am typing to you all....Aaack!

way to keep hones!! drink water

yeppers Pip!!! I am hugging my second 1 liter bottle .....drinking like a drunkard!

LMAO!!! way to go!!! and your rule is not crazy about not eating 2hrs b4 bed, it's a good rule

pipcd34

morning peepheads -

whippet = you're a good gramma. unfortunately, change happens sometimes whether we like it or not.

brabiecat - purdy pic!! my MS bike ride that we do in september on day 1 we ride over deception pass. they make us lunch there! now you have an idea on what kind of ride i do.

charm4u - yeayyyy for meeting your goals!

dreamwriter - i'm glad to hear that you (and others) liked my poem to kirby

grandmallie - so sorry to hear about your helath issue :0( as soon as your husband said that i would have slapped (no, not slapped, punched) him and said "where do i sign!" AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! verbal abuse is just as bad as physical, from personal experience, the scar is always there. keep us posted please

fanncy - you'll get thru this house thing, ! keep packing!

drkatiebug - you are right! sic me on him is right, i will be like a dog that grabs on to his throat and won't let go!

lhannon -- yeayyyyy for you on your weight loss!!!!!!!!! i remember when i hit the "70's" i was sooo excited!

mollywhippet -- LOOLOLOL about the skillet. actually i have a big *kitten* tazor, 50k volts up his *kitten* will make him see the light!

cityjane - have fun with your son!

one day I will have the energy to tell you how I met my husbands, starting with the #1. they are all worth telling because even though one almost killed me (#1), one enabled me to do WAY too much booze and drugs (#2), one got me suicidal and depressed due to his loss (#3), they are all men that made me who I am. life experiences are sometimes seriously painful but you will either grow and learn because of them or be a dumb as$ and stay in them and by that I mean I would have stayed w/#1 husband and ended up dead.

miriamwithcats

Alison, I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. And I agree with everyone above. Your husband is a verbal abuser. The stress from living from him is not helping your health issues. Chronic stress is very hard on our bodies. Know that I am in your corner for you.

I am not sure anyone has described a hoarding situation here, just clutter. I know hoarding. My only brother is married to a woman who is a compulsive shopper and hoarder. He had to move out when he could no longer walk from the front door to his bed and had no other place in the house to sit. It is piled to the ceiling with stuff. Mostly new with price tags on it. He has been successful in his career, so he has money. He bought another house for himself. When I visited him recently, she had already filled up the hall, the guest bedroom, and the huge room above the three car garage in the new house. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a problem - it is my brother's side of the family that is "crazy" (we have a lot of bipolar disorder going on). My brother is an engineer, probably would be diagnosed with Aspergers, and he won't leave her even though their three kids keep telling him to! Now THAT is hoarding!

I may be a bit sensitive about people throwing around the word hoarding. My oldest sister thinks I am a cat hoarder since I have a lot of cats. The difference is that I can afford my cats, take care of cleaning up after the cats, neuter and provide all medical care they need. Cat hoarders are people who have so many cats that they cannot take care of them or keep the house clean. I take in the cats that no one else will, that have "issues" such as health problems or behavior problems. So I really run an informal rescue operation. My sister does not like cats, so she cannot understand my willingness to put up with their issues.

miriamwithcats

Pip, my two older sons are convinced that if I had remained with my former husband he would have eventually killed me. He threatened to shoot me, but never actually held a gun when he did. Said he should have shot me later, after I divorced him and he had to pay child support. Nice guy. I am amazed that you had the fortitude to try again! I was not willing to go there again.

DamitJanit

Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding .

Good Morning Ladies,

Renny and Allison, I hope it’s the best!!!

Penny, good to hear from you and glad to know you haven’t just been sitting around eating bon bons. Other than running full out to keep up with them, I hope you enjoyed the DS and Grands visit?

Kate, glad you got someone helpful the second call. Your tat is beautiful! What do you do with them? I didn’t know what a tat (or tatting) was other than a short name for a tattoo. LOL Sorry about your DS’s housing problems.

DrKatie, I agree on the “thank goodness for company every now and then”. Isn’t it funny how we do things for their visit that we otherwise put off?

Yvonne, good for you in going to the event alone yesterday!! That is a big step!! Do you think it will be easier the next time? Good also for not eating when you were lonely or bored. Keep up the good work.

NMMargaret, what a terrific way to frame the distinguished flying cross! I know you are thrilled.

Heather, as you were going over “our” day, I was thinking, “I’m tired now”. Lol You have done great and I’m proud of you!!! The restaurant is beautiful. It would be hard to eat and not just look around the whole time.

Terri, sorry about the contest but the most important thing is your health. Just eat like we are all standing around watching you. That is what I’ve done lately when I want to eat something I know I shouldn’t and it helps.

Heather, glad DH got home and that you behaved while he was away.

Vicki, your bikers events sound great. I’m sure you had a great day.

Becca, good for you on just eating one slice of pizza. I find that something like that leaves me hungry so I normally end up opting for something that I can eat more of, even thought it might not seem as exciting to eat. Before I started this journey, we did buy pizza at the grocery store and add our own ingredients to it. I like onion and tomatoes and we used to take deli ham and cut it up, too. Now I just don’t eat it cause I’m a pig and want more than I could have.

Sylvia, it’s great that you found a fun activity for DGD. Too bad about the neighbors moving away. I would think it would be at least a couple of years before the casino was started if this was just decided. Have you heard a timeline on it? Have you talked to the neighbor to find out where they are going?

Barbie, beautiful picture! Glad you had a nice day. For some reason I have a hard time getting rid of cook books. I did put a couple in the last garage sale, that I never used, but still have plenty of others that I never use.

Joyce, it sounds like a successful shopping trip. I’m sure she will love them.

Sharon, good luck with the counseling and not going alone. (((Hugs)))

Mary, that is a good idea to rent until closing. I hope that works out for you.

to any Newbies that I missed. Come often and join in the chat. This thing works!! Please sign your post with what you want to be called. It makes it easier for us to respond to you. Also a location is great, be it specific or general. We are happy to have you join us.

I just can’t seem to catch up this morning so I’m going to go ahead and post what I have so far. Some of this was for last night and I got too tired to finish and post it. I had a Ladies of the Moose meeting last night and did very good with my eating. I just sit and shake my head at my very overweight friend who fills her plate with every fattening food and dessert that is there. She was asking about lap band surgery last night and I told her that you still have to control what you eat after the surgery. I just hate seeing her do that to herself as she can barely walk and I know losing weight would help. But we all have to want it for it to work. Yesterday morning I made some more bran muffins then made DH some cup cakes. He'll keep them in the fridge out in the garage, so they aren't tempting me, although that is not something that I really like so much.

I hope you all have a great and healthy day.

Words I live by:
Savor. I have to slow down and savor every bite.
and
Opportunity. Each day offers new opportunities for good health and happiness if we just look for them and choose them.
I Love you,
DJ
Myrtle Beach, SC

ydailey

Becca - You have my sympathy... I also live with a saboteur! He's always bringing home donuts, cookies, etc. I gave him some airtight bins and told him to keep that stuff in his office.

Sylvia - So sorry about losing your good neighbors!

Barbiecat - Gorgeous photo! Now I want to go there!

Nancy - Doesn't it feel great to settle into fresh sheets?! I especially like it if they've been dried outside on a clothesline.

Joyce - Hope you enjoy your movie night! We enjoyed Grand Budapest Hotel.

Grandmallie - Oh! That just makes me want to whack your DH upside the head! Hope he'll be more supportive once the news sinks in.

Margaret - "more than likely I need to go to the bathroom anyway" - LOL! I like your reasoning. If I used that excuse, nobody who knew me would doubt it for a second.

-Yvonne in Texas

terewilliams

NSV – Was not tempted by the doughnut gathering as I came down the hall to my office this morning!

Lenore: Children are crazy! We have learned to accept that fact. There is always an “in-law” problem! One child always says you love the other child more than you love them. Somebody is always fighting. I can’t tell you the number of times the grandchildren have been withheld because we didn’t conform to whatever was asked. So we just keep it moving. If a child is mad and wants to prevent their child from coming over so be it. We are old enough and have money in the bank and credit cards. We can do whatever we want – which is typically inexpensive and relaxing.

Nancy: Good for you! “Caution: People do not like it when the dynamics and your role changes.” Truer words have yet to be spoken.

Allison: Happy Birthday! Sorry to hear your diagnosis. Boy do we ever engage in Tom bashing. I try so hard to not bash him and offer alternative suggestions for dealing with his lip brain disconnect. BUT today I think my elbow may have accidently met his eye! SMH! Please keep your chin up! You are loved and appreciated.

Tere in Richmond VA

pipcd34

miriamwithcats wrote: »

Pip, my two older sons are convinced that if I had remained with my former husband he would have eventually killed me. He threatened to shoot me, but never actually held a gun when he did. Said he should have shot me later, after I divorced him and he had to pay child support. Nice guy. I am amazed that you had the fortitude to try again! I was not willing to go there again.

having a gun to your head is an eye opener. I left him once and when I came back to him I told him that if he touched me again that I would leave (even tho I had told him tons of times b4 so there wasn't a reason for him to believe me this time). I knew that if I didn't follow through and did leave him for good w/o coming back I knew I would eventually be a toast. well... as you can imagine, it happened again, after leaving a party. he was driving and with the other hand he was punching. all the other times I never hit back, just covered myself but this time I snapped, I punched him back., the next morning I told him I would be gone by the time he came home from work. he looked at his chest and had a big bruise and said "look at what you did, what am I going to say/explain this". I told him you'll think of something. I called a friend that morning and asked if I could stay on her couch. I got my clothes, took 2 forks, 2 knives, 2 spoons, 2 plates and my Tupperware (don't ask me why I HAD to take that) and the only thing of his that I took was a sleeping bag. I left and didn't come back. he followed me for awhile, mom still had disowned me at this time, I had run away from home so I wasn't about to go back. I lived with husband number 2 for 8 yrs b4 marring him. just because #1 did what he did, I didn't clump all men into that category, all men aren't the same. I just can't believe I've done it 4 times