WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2015
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Hello from Kentucky!! I'm new here and enjoying reading your posts!!0
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Just marking my place. Today was nearly all day of MRI,X rays,blood work etc for DH at University hispital.,just 20 minutes from us. Left here at 9:30 am,home at 5 pm. That included a stop to eat supper. We did a ton of walking,then sit & wait.
After surgery there in 2011 for a pitituary gland tumor,all is well & he is finally moved from yearly checks up to 2 yrs check ups.So happy for him.He is the bestest guy
Pat
That is indeed good news. So glad he is your "bestest guy". Days like that are very tiring tho. Glad its behind you.0 -
It is difficult to take oneself 'out of the drama' when it is brought to me in the first place. Sometimes it is almost like seeing the ups and downs I went through (just not nearly as bad) and know that there is nothing I can do or say that helps. One day, if she doesn't get a 'grip' - she might find herself in a position that will not be pleasant. I just hate it for my DOS and the DGDs ... it is going to be harder on them. It's like looking into a 'foggy' mirror, see those things I wasn't all that happy about in myself, in her. Yet, no real progress in any changes. I've got tired of trying to conform to something I do not want to conform to. Yes, family dynamics are difficult.
We had a very good and funny 3+ hour visit from the 2 oldest DGDs ... they are leaving for the beach tomorrow. I don't think I have laughed so hard than we did tonight. DH was 'in the middle' of it; and he'd look at me with his eyes crossed and making the sign for 'flapping jaws'. One story, begot another and then interruptions by both. Poor dog was outside the entire time waiting for them to come out. She whined for a little while and then just sat patiently. She loves the oldest DGD and really has 'separation anxiety' when she comes home from school. She is taller when she stands up on her hinds legs and jumps up on her shoulders; she almost knocks her down. When they went out tonight, she was 'so excited' when she finally got to see her 'mama'. DGD tells her Daddy that the 'dog' loves her more than she (dog) loves him. She rarely shows this much excitement with him. Of course, he relationship is more of hunter 'trying' to train a 'hunting' dog; when girls have made her a pet (so to speak). He'll never actually hunt her because he doesn't hunt that particular game.
DGD says she is going to apply for being able to have a dog in her apartment stating 'separation anxiety' like some of the other students have said they have done in order to be able to have pets. She's kenneled trained and I really think it could be good for her - since she is such a 'worry-wart'; but, I doubt her Daddy would agree to let her take her. We call her "Devil Dog"; because as soon as they let her out, she comes down here, eats our cat's food, drink's his water; but, he doesn't chase him or pose any danger to him. However when my DYS comes home with his 2 dogs (he goes into the 'kitty hotel' - my art studio) and then the dogs get put up, so he can have a small vacation from the kitty hotel. He sits up in the window and looks down on them, in the A/C and music playing all the time. It is almost like he makes the best out of what could be a 'deadly' encounter. He gets a chance to 'hunt' for a while when the dogs are kenneled.0 -
powell9376 wrote: »Hello from Kentucky!! I'm new here and enjoying reading your posts!!
Hello and welcome. We are a terrific supportive group of ladies. If you would like, tell us a little about yourself, where you live, what your goals are, etc. Also if you sign a name you would like us to use at the end of each post, it will make it easier to identify you.
Come often, join in as you feel comfortable.0 -
Yesterday was a day! I opened my calendar and flipped to Monday at 7:45am as I was leaving to teach the first day of candy class to find that I had scheduled and forgotten my Gourmet Group at my house for that night! UGHHHHH 1st call to the cleaning lady, she could clean from 4-6 (company shows at 6:30) ok, then off to camp, thinking the whole time what will I serve???? I only had to do the main course, someone else was assigned appetizer, salad, and dessert, as well as wine… So decided on salmon with mesquite rub and caramelized veggies wrapped in philo dough, snow peas (what is it that Heather calls them mange?) and sliced heirloom tomatoes with a bit of balsamic vinegar drizzle… camp over by 12:30 out of the grocery store and home by 1:50pm the backyard swept, table set and all ready by 6:30… they left at 11pm I dropped into bed and was up at 5:30 to walk Levi and do camp again today… It was 102 degrees out today and at 9:30pm is only down to 84 --- it is too be hot tomorrow too… Lots of fans going.
Mary – congrats!! Glad you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel
Pip – the poetry is so touching – so glad you left hub #1
Nancy – you are so strong! Many of us are domestic violence survivors, your situation was far worse than mine. Thank you for trusting to share. ***Later*** so good at doing your “make up exercising” made me think of make up work from school – got a great smile.
Cynthia – what a great bread surprise and a good compromise!
Mia – great job!!! I am not a “keeper” but do get so busy that I pile, and always feel better when the pile is gone.
Yvonne – good job on going out on your own
Margaret – what a great idea on mounting a metal!
Renny – Happy Birthday!!!!!
Heather – great picture of the restaurant – hope you are doing ok with eating control.
Alison – Happy Birthday!!!!
GRITS – This!!!!!!” GRITS - You can do an online search and find lots of info. about Parental Alienation. In the early to mid 1990's it wasn't known. In more recent years the Mental Health & Counseling Professionals have defined it and thoroughly researched it.
Sorry to hear about the difficult family dynamics. Suggest you take yourself out of the middle. For instance, when DnL instructs you to go tell DH something, you can politely let her know that she needs to communicate her thoughts and feelings directly to him. Caution: People do not like it when the dynamics and your role changes.
One tool that someone passed along when I was dealing with a similar situation, was to write out a very short script of what I wanted to say. That way, I wasn't tongue tied or fumbling for words when I had to communicate boundaries to my daughter. She threw an absolute fit, but I held firm and merely repeated my short phrases. After 3 times of saying it, I told her in a business-like manner that we needed to end the conversation on that topic. Said I was going in the kitchen to finish the dishes (or whatever). Then, I calmly walked away and did just that.
You no longer have to be caught in the middle. You have a right to determine what you will and will not do. You can set boundaries and hold firm. It may not be easy, but is worth it in the long run.
Good luck to you! - Nancy in FW, TX”
Changing reactions really works – it is really hard! But it really pays off!!!
Becca – I have learned to NEVER have pizza without a huge salad, then I can stick to 1 or 2 slices..otherwise I’m a goner!
Barbie – good job on the cleaning out… and a great picture… water!!! wish it was here.
Sharon – I don’t keep up well either, just connect when you can! Good for you to continue to go to counseling, an anyone who would call their wife a ***** is an a DH and the d is not for Darling…. GRRRRR
Alison – I so want to choke him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pip watch out I may get to him first! I hope the Dr. can shed some light on what is next… my heart is with you.
Tere – Happy dance on the NSV
Terri – great how you met story, does greg still own Shorty’s? Great story on leave dh#1!!!
Dana – that is a busy life!
Janetr – you make really good observations… I’ll read a post then read yours and think ok, my response is already there, just with the wrong profile pic! LOL
June goals:
Walk every day 180 miles for the month (in May I did 175… thought maybe a higher goal would be good)
NEW – 1 plank every day – and log them here – 19
Log everyday
Eat slower
do 2 fun things every week -
week 1 – no traditional fun – but working hard to get all embroidery jobs done, clean up clutter inside and out, so that my doggy sitter will not have that to deal with, and the house will look nice when I get home.
Week 2 – Seattle seeing my Godson graduate from college
Week 3 – taught Intermediate baking camp every morning, and beginning baking every afternoon.
Kim from N. California
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Today at work: gay marriage follow-up.
http://www.dailyjournal.net/view/story/2479d707bb3e44a1832a06ae03f869f7/LA--Gay-Marriage-Louisiana
I called some two dozen or so clerks of court around the state, and found a new way to get in steps. As soon as I'd dialed the phone I'd stand up and start walking in place. When I'd explained who I and what I was doing (sometimes to two people) I'd sit down to take notes.
I succumbed to a Kind chocolate-and-dark-cherries bar. Almost sent me over, even though I ate only half of everything at a Middle Eastern restaurant.
Joyce, lovely birthday gift for Trinity! I couldn't have resisted a second at $7, either.
Sharon - best of luck w/ the counseling.
Allison - oh, gee. I'm so sorry to hear about the kidney disease, and just as sorry about your husband's reaction. I do hope your birthday got better. It'd be hard for it to start worse. <<<HUGS>>>
<later> Sounds like it did get better. And well done on the small sliver of spice cake!
Kate - I was wondering if you'd be willing to sell a dragon if you made two.
Handcrafts are not my forte. I tried knitting a scarf once and wound up with a pennant, wide at the start and narrowing to a point.
Mary in MN - Good way to look at it.
JanetR - to track my morning steps, I put the fitbit into a ziploc, fold the bag over a time or so, and use a hair tie to hold the bag around my ankle. That way it also tracks hair-combing steps and such. My hair's long enough that I use both hands, and the fitbit usually counts by arm movements.
"two more times, but great guys." Huzza!!
Tina in MD - awesome vacation!
Lisa - Great plan on the house. and HUZZA!!!!! for your great weight loss.
Cheri - I've had double-posting problems the past few days, but figured it was my trackball. Maybe not, then. Deletion is possible.
Heather - Have a great time with your friend and elder son, hard work though he be.
Several people ... I just told Larry that the more I hear about some of y'all's husbands and exes, the more I appreciate him. Sure, he can be a pain in the bntt, but so can I.
Terri in WS - Yay on dropping the water, and the bike. And what a great blind date story.
Sorry to hear about your wrist.
Katla - sorry the saddle sores are taking so long.
Dana in IND - your job sounds great! I went to IU, 4 decades ago.
Vicki - good loss! My scale only goes by half-pounds.
Chris - I'm so glad the time w/ your mom went well. Mine was ... difficult, so I undertand how good it feels when it isn't.
And yeah, too many healthy snacks aren't good.
Sending good thoughts your way for the coming couple weeks.
NC Carol - glad the post-surgery's going well. AND the your daughter's revelation about cooking wisely.
Sylvia - weird, about no citation.
Let us know about the tummy pains. And I can see why you're worried. Larry had a blockage once and spent a week in the hospital.
Becca - how are the swimming cals measured? And the speed? If your friend's much taller or bigger than you, that might have something to do w/ it. JanetR explained it better.
Yeah, salmon's great food. Tasty, too. But because it's a big fish that eats lotsa little fish and there's mercury in the water these days, can't eat it for every meal.
loralou - plateaus happen. Just keep eating fewer calories than you use, and you'll lose weight. Have you noticed any non-scale differences? Pants looser, maybe?
patceoh - glad your husband's doign well.
Meg Blair - I work for The Associated Press in New Orleans. Our office is across from the Superdome. If you see (AP) or "Associated Press" on a news article, it's by (or at least edited by) one of my colleagues around the world. The AP's a member-owned news co-op and the world's largest news agency. Mark Twain wrote, "There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here."
JanetM in NO, Proudly Quoting Respected Super-writer Twain0 -
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GodMomKim wrote "Janetr – you make really good observations… I’ll read a post then read yours and think ok, my response is already there, just with the wrong profile pic! LOL"
That's funny!! Like minds I guess 0 -
Kim - your gourmet group sounds like that would be an enjoyable healthy evening. Your dinner sounded delicious I was drooling while I read your description!
Mary from Minnesota0 -
community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10200034/women-ages-50-for-july2015/p1
New Month new thread, get your July goals ready0 -
Trying to keep up to speed.
Alison-I'm sorry about your lab results. I would put off worrying until you can meet with your kidney doctors. Your husband's reaction was just so unkind. We are all looking to dump some weight and I think we all know how you could rid of 150+ lbs.
Pip - We all want to take care of Alison's problem. You grab him by the throat and I'll kick him in the tenders.
The # of times you've been married is a testament to your optimism. I think the posts/poems/ pictures show that you have it right now.
Pip/Janet/ Sylvia - We are all lucky that you mad it through the tough times.
Carol- Glad that you made it home and are recovering.
Spent a half hour with coffee in hand this morning listening to the meadow lark and enjoying my flowers.
Looked after one DGD for a bit. I try to help all I can since DD has her own business (face painting/ glitter tattoos/henna/window painting, etc.) She is a very busy woman. DGD is so sweet and tells me that her favourite time yesterday was when I came to her swimming lesson. She understands why I can't come every day " you have to work to get money so you can buy your pills and get us ice cream" I think the last might be a hint. lol
DB stopped in for a visit. We talked mainly about our DC, DGC, and plants. We did get on the topic of growing up on the farm and how we rode Dusty up to the neighbour's to watch Zorro. No TV at our house until I was nearly 8.
DH is being a martyr. No one can do anything as well as he can, oh well. He has a test coming up on the 2nd. It is a barium enema. You would think he was the first to ever do that prep. He's mentioned a few times that between me working and the counseling session he isn't going to be able to go to Granum to take in the car show. It really hasn't changed much in the last 10 yrs.
DS is getting pre - approved for a mortgage. I worry that he isn't done with HER and if she's smart then she will wiggle her way back in. Live together for 6 mos. and she will get half the house. SHE does have her family throwing a pity party for her. She never spent a dime the whole time she lived here and she was collecting E.I. so I know she had money stashed away. GGGRRRR......I will have to let go of this eventually. So hard to forgive when she hurt my son so badly. I know I will be able to forgive her but I will never forget and definitely will never trust her again.
Running on and it's late
-Sharon ( in smoky Lethbridge)0 -
Here is the link to the new thread for July
community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10200034/women-ages-50-for-july2015?new=1
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Beautiful garden pictures.
No I don't have a video for my trampoline exercises - there are some on You Tube though.
I thought I would have time to catch up this morning but my little grandson seems to be up ,,, oh dear - it is only 6:30 a.m.!!
So later girls!!
Lillian in smoky west central saskatchewan0 -
DJ in Myrtle Beach - glad you enjoy Leslie Sansone DVD's - they are my go to when the weather outside isn't favourable. Some strength training in some of them too!!
Lillian0 -
Charm4u76132 wrote: »Would love to hear from you all. What are your Start-Stop-Continue Goals for July?!
My Goals for July:
Start eating a small breakfast or drink a protein shake within 1 hr. of waking.
Start eating more regular meals and snacks throughout each day.
Start trying some Zone friendly meals and snacks to see if I have better results.
Start making meals and snacks at home.
Stop not having breakfast.
Stop going for longer than 1 hour after waking to have breakfast.
Stop not eating almost all day, until 3 pm, and then eating bad food choices (high fat, high calorie restaurant meals).
Stop eating at restaurants.
Stop drinking red wine for 40 days to see if I shed more pounds and inches.
Continue slow, steady cardio by walking 240 mins. weekly at 65% MHR.
Continue doing one high intensity cardio session every 10th workout as prescribed, based on my DNA results.
Continue eating healthy. (40-35-25 or 40-30-30 based on my DNA results)
Continue drinking 8-9 8 oz. glasses of water daily.
Continue Honestly Tracking Everything on MFP.
Continue Sharing here in this Forum.
Hugs, Nancy in FW, TX
I really like this Nancy. I think you will do very well with this posted on your fridge.
Lillian0 -
Hi all from Greece, I have been busy trying to adapt to our new situation, as you may all know greece has closed banks and pensions are paid at max 50 euro per day after long waits at the ATMs.
I like the start-stop continue post that Nancy posted, it would be really helpful
I have not yet evaluated June's goals and set some for July
Hugs.... kisses
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Thanks to those who mentioned DH.Yes,it was a loong,tiring day. We went to bed early & slept good.In fact,he is in his "office" taking a nap.He could sleep for hrs,then also sleep like a baby at night.Not one of my talents.
He went from 3 mo checks to 6 mos,then a yr. We've met the nicest ppl at the hospital.
Carol,glad to hear you are doing well.They surely have wonderful medical stuff these days. When DH had surgery,he had 3 surgeons,one as back up & one an EE&N specialist. The 34 yr old surgeon did the surgery going thru DHs nose.Took most of a day.Yesterday....they took pics of inner nose & pitutary gland.Showed it on a 30" screen,showing the surgeons "path" then the healed area where he cut out the tumor.So amazing!
Alison you are a better woman than I am.You must never know what will set him off......so hard to live with. Try to wait till you see the Dr before you worry to much.
Beautiful day here with sun & no humidity. Have windows & doors open to the breeze.
Everyone have a great 4th of July.We will be going to Tenn for a wk,along with DD & SIL. Pat0 -
Here is the link to the new thread for July
community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10200034/women-ages-50-for-july2015?new=1
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My goals for July are to forget about June and focus on what's best for me and my health. I quit smoking in June and decided to really try to drink more water as my weight loss has been pretty sucky because of it. Positive thoughts and interacting with positive people are my goals for this month. Now if the Ohio weather would cooperate with being outside so I can walk outside with my husband and our three dogs. Here we go friends!0
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@barbiecat and @GRITSandSLUTS Sounds like you handled going thru parents items quite well. I wish my sisters and I had been. I was in California, and my Moms home was in Oregon, so when she passed, she had it in her will to let her husband, (my step-father) be able to live there for a year then it would be sold. I visited (talking a plane with 3 young sons) 2 times during that year and no one was "Ready" to go thru the house. One visit I had flown up with the boys, then my husband took off work and drove up with our van. I came out with a shoebox of stuff. So to end the story, I was home in CA, and my sister called saying that the house was being organized thru, and what did I wish. So on the phone, I had to mentally go thru my Mom's home, which ended up being pointless, and I said, "Just put in a box what you think I would want". So I got a box, while my sisters rec'd whole rooms full of antique furniture. Then the topping of the cake came when they divey'ed out the funds for selling the home. Each of us rec'd 64k for which I deposited and paid off some bills etc. It was a bittersweet thing, but the bitter part was my check bounced because when I added up all the fee's etc it came to more than the total of all our checks...so when MY check came there wasn't 64K to start with. The overdraft charges were mounting up, and totaled $200 which my step-father paid. I have always thought I rec'd the short end of the stick for so many things. A great therapy session for sure.... One of these days I shall get my sisters together for a weekend retreat and when we are half way thru a bottle of wine, I will vent. Vent politely, but still vent.
I did good on my Mother's side about divvying up all the things. On the other hand, DH's daughter came in and took what she wanted and did things very dirty and underhanded. One day, she will have to 'answer' for what she did. It's been 8 years and apparently no hope for any reconciliation between the 2 of them or basically the 3 of them. After DH asked her to get another Death Certificate so that he and his brother could get a $3000 insurance check (a policy she did not know about), and she got mad that she did not receive $1000 of it; when she sent it she had a 'sticky note' on it telling DH that 'if' he needed anything else - to contact the funeral home directly. I'd say that said it all. She took my DMnL's wedding band (that she had told me YEARS ago, would be mine) - knowing that 'in the end' it would eventually become my DH's daughter's. Apparently, she could not wait, she actually took it from my MnL the day she had her sign several things, including a 2nd POA that she had gotten off the Internet. In FL it is against the law for a non-attorney to make out a POA; and we could have fought it; but, then the attorneys' fees would have eaten everything up. We could have made her put everything back into escrow for the attorneys to filter through and sell if they could not agree on anything. She took all the pictures and we got none of them. Not even copied for any of us. Get this ... when my MnL passed away, she was buried in 'old' clothes (lavender); but, I thought that surely a 'new' outfit would have been bought for the occasion; especially when DSD bought 2 new head-to-toe outfits for the wake and the funeral. But, what really was awful, was the dinner after the visitation was at her house; and they had a 'crew' there digging a pool (from some of the stolen proceeds of the estate). My SSnL was standing right below us on the patio; and I loudly said, 'now this is the epitome of disrespect towards my MnL' ... he went and told them to 'pack up and leave' and when he did so SD came out 'screaming and cursing and saying it would now be the end of the summer before they could work them back in'. Oh, to say the least, I chewed my tongue up that day. My boys will split everything 50/50 when we are gone; and I figure they can figure out how to divvy it up and still be fair to one another. We actually have 2 tracts of land; one my son cut out 3 acres for his house; I know that my DYS will never move back here because Louisiana has been his home for over 10 years. His friends and now his 'new' family are from that area. I just don't want my DOS's wife to get ahold of anything - it is between DOS and DYS to decide who gets what.0
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