Depressed woman - wife - mother ((help))

Untilproud11

angelexperiment wrote: »

These are but words in your head and when we think negative negative is attracted to us. Change your thinking, change your life! It is so easy to say ill never be the hot chick I dream of... why bother? And then go eat a cake (like I have done before) but to say self I am going to be that hot chick she is in there and im letting her out and make yourself do it! Its so hard! But one thing I know is do mot quit! You will believe in you you will have that confidence again and one day you look and see the hot chick and do a double look bc you don't recognize it is you in the mirror!

Amazing

hamptontom

gramarye wrote: »

...most of us have more complex issues than that, and especially if you're dealing with depression. People don't take care of things they don't value, so you have to value yourself as you are now. Not some idealised version of who you could be.

(And agreed that motivating yourself to lose weight for another person isn't going to work long-term. You have to think about what you really want, not what you think your husband wants.)

...oh, man. this, right here. she gets it.

i started down this road after my marriage crumbled - not because i thought it would provide some magic key to turning back and clock and "fixing" us, but because i needed to focus on something other than my broken heart and the loss of my son.

ironically, as of today, my little man weighs exactly the same as the amount of weight i've lost...so you could say i've "lost him" in more ways that one.

BUT - it hasn't brought him back. I still can't hear him breathing in the next room at night.

All the stuff associated with that loss is still there. EVERY BIT of it.

Doing this has been a metabolism booster, a self-esteem builder, and a wonderful distraction...but it hasn't changed my situation one bit - except to make me feel better about myself and who I am, and to give me enough of a boost in esteem to make some decisions about what i'm willing to tolerate and what i won't put up with any longer.

I hope it has the same effect on you, OP. and @lyndahh75 - oh, man. i'm sending good energy your way, too. you deserve better.

angelexperiment

mita271 wrote: »

angelexperiment wrote: »

These are but words in your head and when we think negative negative is attracted to us. Change your thinking, change your life! It is so easy to say ill never be the hot chick I dream of... why bother? And then go eat a cake (like I have done before) but to say self I am going to be that hot chick she is in there and im letting her out and make yourself do it! Its so hard! But one thing I know is do mot quit! You will believe in you you will have that confidence again and one day you look and see the hot chick and do a double look bc you don't recognize it is you in the mirror!

Amazing

This is true. I suffer from the thoughts and the depression at times too. But I have learned the more you do the better you feel and the more attractive you feel the more you believe you are worth every sacrifice and struggle in this process. It is not just about weight it is about you.

LKArgh

mita271 wrote: »

Im writing because today i've had such a bad day ...
Why do I want to lose weight for my husband ?
Why my self confidence is so low these days ?...
Maybe because of the past issue with relationship ?!
I know I will never be the skinny hot girl i would like to be doesn't matter how hard i try to look better
My story is a really long one , but i just needed to vent
And any motivation to get me out of this will help
I used to think that as woman I rock
I rock that i had these babies
I rock that i am strong
I rock that i am bright and always have a smile on my face
But then...
One day i found something out and all these words flew off my heart
Rant over

If you found out something that made you sad and depressed, try to talk to a therapist. I mean, if it is just a reaction to some very recent bad news, of course it is normal to feel sad and disappointed and upset, but if it something that is really affecting your life, a specialist can help you figure out how to cope and what the best thing for you is. Good luck.

lyndahh75

hamptontom wrote: »

gramarye wrote: »

...most of us have more complex issues than that, and especially if you're dealing with depression. People don't take care of things they don't value, so you have to value yourself as you are now. Not some idealised version of who you could be.

(And agreed that motivating yourself to lose weight for another person isn't going to work long-term. You have to think about what you really want, not what you think your husband wants.)

...oh, man. this, right here. she gets it.

i started down this road after my marriage crumbled - not because i thought it would provide some magic key to turning back and clock and "fixing" us, but because i needed to focus on something other than my broken heart and the loss of my son.

ironically, as of today, my little man weighs exactly the same as the amount of weight i've lost...so you could say i've "lost him" in more ways that one.

BUT - it hasn't brought him back. I still can't hear him breathing in the next room at night.

All the stuff associated with that loss is still there. EVERY BIT of it.

Doing this has been a metabolism booster, a self-esteem builder, and a wonderful distraction...but it hasn't changed my situation one bit - except to make me feel better about myself and who I am, and to give me enough of a boost in esteem to make some decisions about what i'm willing to tolerate and what i won't put up with any longer.

I hope it has the same effect on you, OP. and @lyndahh75 - oh, man. i'm sending good energy your way, too. you deserve better.

@hamptontom sometimes we have to go through some pretty rough times in order for our souls to learn. It's how we take it and apply it to our lives that matters. Some people adopt that woe is me mind set, others have that this makes me stronger mind set. Then there's me- stuck in the middle depending on what demon whispers louder lol.
I'm sorry you have lost your son:(
Your distraction though, is the very thing that is and will continue to heal you- your soul. Ya gotta love you. Easier said than done for me. I've spent too much time hating me - beating myself up that I've victimized myself. I need to learn to ease up and love myself.

gramarye

hamptontom wrote: »

gramarye wrote: »

...most of us have more complex issues than that, and especially if you're dealing with depression. People don't take care of things they don't value, so you have to value yourself as you are now. Not some idealised version of who you could be.

(And agreed that motivating yourself to lose weight for another person isn't going to work long-term. You have to think about what you really want, not what you think your husband wants.)

...oh, man. this, right here. she gets it.

i started down this road after my marriage crumbled - not because i thought it would provide some magic key to turning back and clock and "fixing" us, but because i needed to focus on something other than my broken heart and the loss of my son.

ironically, as of today, my little man weighs exactly the same as the amount of weight i've lost...so you could say i've "lost him" in more ways that one.

BUT - it hasn't brought him back. I still can't hear him breathing in the next room at night.

All the stuff associated with that loss is still there. EVERY BIT of it.

Doing this has been a metabolism booster, a self-esteem builder, and a wonderful distraction...but it hasn't changed my situation one bit - except to make me feel better about myself and who I am, and to give me enough of a boost in esteem to make some decisions about what i'm willing to tolerate and what i won't put up with any longer.

I hope it has the same effect on you, OP. and @lyndahh75 - oh, man. i'm sending good energy your way, too. you deserve better.

I'm really sorry to hear about the problems with your marriage and son. I hope things improve, in whatever way that means for your situation, soon.

jgnatca

You are a loveable and worthy person right now.

Finding a way out of that black dog, depression, I would say is your first priority.

Then if you want to improve your eating habits do it out of self love, not sadness.

Did I hear right, that you are a mom of babies, plural? Then you have your hands full. If you are stay at home, is there any external recognition for your hard work (other than your husband)? Do you have any hobbies and interests outside the home?