married chit-chatters?

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  • KourageousKarina
    KourageousKarina Posts: 979 Member
    Is this where we rant?
  • baboontester
    baboontester Posts: 28 Member
    KourageousKarina wrote: »
    Is this where we rant?

    Rant away. lol.
  • AmGoheen
    AmGoheen Posts: 4 Member
    SAHM dedicated gym goer, anyone? Anyone? Always looking g for good clean recipes that my kids won't spit out, and fresh new moves!
  • Mexicat2017
    Mexicat2017 Posts: 5 Member
    Hi, everyone! :)

    Just joined today. Been married for 16 years and have two kids. Would like any kind of support! B)
  • Lipsmahoney
    Lipsmahoney Posts: 512 Member
    Married .... to my high school sweetheart. Seen me through thick, very thick and thin. I am getting very fit but my brain still sees the huge nasty 300 lbs me in the mirror. Need a little help getting my brain to catch up and tell myself that I am doing ok.
  • angelxsss
    angelxsss Posts: 2,402 Member
    I'm not married, but I have a question for y'all. I've never been in a relationship, so maybe I'm wrong, but can't mental and physical attraction both exist together? Isn't accepting someone that has one or the other but not both settling?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
    Lipsmahoney wrote: »
    Married .... to my high school sweetheart. Seen me through thick, very thick and thin. I am getting very fit but my brain still sees the huge nasty 300 lbs me in the mirror. Need a little help getting my brain to catch up and tell myself that I am doing ok.

    You're doing ok!
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
    angelxsss wrote: »
    I'm not married, but I have a question for y'all. I've never been in a relationship, so maybe I'm wrong, but can't mental and physical attraction both exist together? Isn't accepting someone that has one or the other but not both settling?

    Of course they do, and sometimes they exist at the same time, but over many years they will wan and peak, and sometimes not together. If you think you will always have both and that anything less is settling, you will be a serial monogamist.
  • angelxsss
    angelxsss Posts: 2,402 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    angelxsss wrote: »
    I'm not married, but I have a question for y'all. I've never been in a relationship, so maybe I'm wrong, but can't mental and physical attraction both exist together? Isn't accepting someone that has one or the other but not both settling?

    Of course they do, and sometimes they exist at the same time, but over many years they will wan and peak, and sometimes not together. If you think you will always have both and that anything less is settling, you will be a serial monogamist.

    okay, makes sense. but at least at the beginning they should go together right?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
    angelxsss wrote: »
    okay, makes sense. but at least at the beginning they should go together right?

    Yes, but depends on the people really. They should both exist at some level. Lack of one over time is usually an indicator of some relation issue or difference.


  • angelxsss
    angelxsss Posts: 2,402 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    angelxsss wrote: »
    okay, makes sense. but at least at the beginning they should go together right?

    Yes, but depends on the people really. They should both exist at some level. Lack of one over time is usually an indicator of some relation issue or difference.


    gotcha. thanks for the answer
  • FeraFilia
    FeraFilia Posts: 4,664 Member
    angelxsss wrote: »
    I'm not married, but I have a question for y'all. I've never been in a relationship, so maybe I'm wrong, but can't mental and physical attraction both exist together? Isn't accepting someone that has one or the other but not both settling?

    They absolutely can. However, I've learned that a strong mental/emotional connection can really help build the physical connection. When I met my husband I thought he was super nice and we got along really well, but was only so/so on the physical. The more I fell for him, the better he started to look to me. 8 years later and I still can't keep my hands off of him. :)
  • serenityfrye
    serenityfrye Posts: 360 Member
    FeraFilia wrote: »
    angelxsss wrote: »
    I'm not married, but I have a question for y'all. I've never been in a relationship, so maybe I'm wrong, but can't mental and physical attraction both exist together? Isn't accepting someone that has one or the other but not both settling?

    They absolutely can. However, I've learned that a strong mental/emotional connection can really help build the physical connection. When I met my husband I thought he was super nice and we got along really well, but was only so/so on the physical. The more I fell for him, the better he started to look to me. 8 years later and I still can't keep my hands off of him. :)

    What she said. Ditto here.
  • highlightshadow
    highlightshadow Posts: 116 Member
    I'm a married one too .... i don't care who my buddies are .... i just want ppl to talk to and to me (best thing ever to receive a message from a buddy with some nice words spontaneously)

    I send messages to my buddies when i see they've had a rough day or whatever and it makes all the difference to my day both doing that and receiving something when i get one back
  • Lipsmahoney
    Lipsmahoney Posts: 512 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Lipsmahoney wrote: »
    Married .... to my high school sweetheart. Seen me through thick, very thick and thin. I am getting very fit but my brain still sees the huge nasty 300 lbs me in the mirror. Need a little help getting my brain to catch up and tell myself that I am doing ok.

    You're doing ok!

    Thank you ..... I need this tattooed somewhere. Reassurance from my trainer would be great, but I know i the end that I need to be able to tell myself I am awesome and yes I can call myself a body builder even if he never speaks the words to me. I hold more weight in his words than my own husband who loves me no matter what. How sad huh?
  • Lipsmahoney
    Lipsmahoney Posts: 512 Member
    highlightshadow wrote: »
    I'm a married one too .... i don't care who my buddies are .... i just want ppl to talk to and to me (best thing ever to receive a message from a buddy with some nice words spontaneously)

    I send messages to my buddies when i see they've had a rough day or whatever and it makes all the difference to my day both doing that and receiving something when i get one back

    To be that secure in a marriage is rare. I have it with my husband. Many of my buddies are male and I have amazing relationships with them. my husband recognizes that it doesn't matter the gender as long as we each have someone to talk to and support us is all that matters. We can't be everything to each other and need people with similar likes and issues to talk to from time to time.
    The world needs more of this.
  • Jimb376mfp
    Jimb376mfp Posts: 6,231 Member
    Read that Scarlet Johansson is getting divorced from husband #2 after two years.

    Do you feel smug or "superior" when you see Hollywood marriages crumble?

    Sometimes I wonder why do they even bother to "make it legal"?
  • hankpick77
    hankpick77 Posts: 1,666 Member
    Hi fellow married chit chatters, how is everyone tonight?
  • nuffer
    nuffer Posts: 402 Member
    Jimb376mfp wrote: »
    Read that Scarlet Johansson is getting divorced from husband #2 after two years.

    Do you feel smug or "superior" when you see Hollywood marriages crumble?

    Sometimes I wonder why do they even bother to "make it legal"?

    Two things:

    Thing #1: Yes, I do feel superior

    Thing #2: I do not have a bunch (by bunch, I mean millions) of people trying to watch my every moment, waking or otherwise. That would make me think I'm more important or valuable than I actually am.

    Bonus thing #3: I don't feel sorry for the celebs and usually don't give a rip. But Scarlet is very attractive, last I observed...and much much younger than this old nuffer.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    Jimb376mfp wrote: »
    Read that Scarlet Johansson is getting divorced from husband #2 after two years.

    Do you feel smug or "superior" when you see Hollywood marriages crumble?

    Sometimes I wonder why do they even bother to "make it legal"?

    I think the problem is too many people are marrying for social and legal reasons, rather than moral or spiritual. Then they don't feel obligated to try to stay together forever.

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