I have serious problems with my mom

nmiller0813

My mother has always been super critical of me, and as she has gotten older, she is super critical of everything and everybody. I make my phone call on my way to work, simply listen to her, with a few, yeah's, ooohs and ahh's.. and then say.. Okay mom, I am here at work, gotta go.. I love you!

The few times that she has been critical of me lately, I simply told her, that all I need from you is some emotional support, if you can't give that to me, then I will have to end this phone call. That seemed to work. if telling her how her criticizing makes you feel and she still does not make a change, then you have to distance yourself from her.

I know that NOT having her in my life, would be hard for me to do, but most definitely, I can distance myself from her and her negativity. Actually, I found that, just giving her those 30 minute phone calls, help me, because I know that I only have 30 minutes to listen to all of that. She is happy, and so am I.

Mustang_Susie

My mother has always been super critical of me, and as she has gotten older, she is super critical of everything and everybody. I make my phone call on my way to work, simply listen to her, with a few, yeah's, ooohs and ahh's.. and then say.. Okay mom, I am here at work, gotta go.. I love you!

The few times that she has been critical of me lately, I simply told her, that all I need from you is some emotional support, if you can't give that to me, then I will have to end this phone call. That seemed to work. if telling her how her criticizing makes you feel and she still does not make a change, then you have to distance yourself from her.

I know that NOT having her in my life, would be hard for me to do, but most definitely, I can distance myself from her and her negativity. Actually, I found that, just giving her those 30 minute phone calls, help me, because I know that I only have 30 minutes to listen to all of that. She is happy, and so am I.

Excellent example of healthy boundary setting. :flowerforyou:

cm1458

I know how you feel girl! Im so sorry your mother is this way!

Bumping for later.

Stay strong. Try not to let it get to you, thats the best advice i can give

Geyser_Mountain_Dreamer

So very sorry to hear about how this. That''s sad to hear. I feel bad for you. Almost the majority of us have a deep desire to one day be a mother and father. You are a lucky kid if mom and dad actually like each other. No power struggles between them. Their disagreements turn comical because number one they would never under any circumstance would take something personal. They'd throw themselves under the bus for their loved one. There are all different kinds of marriages. The ones where things began an a a friendship of some kind tend to work as healthy marriages. There has to be common ground and hobbies. Keeping active. The marriages where friction exists for some reason unfortunately has to be resolved. Find a way where communication and finding common ground help. So sorry to hear about how sad it makes you.

SezxyStef

OK...I have a mom who is super critical of me and never misses and opportunity to trash me. Both to my face and to other people. I have overcome a lot of bad **** in my life and I would like to be proud of that but my mother constantly throws it in my face. I tend to eat when I'm stressed so this has been a big cause of my recent weight gain.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to tune out her constant negativity?

I have one of those too and I am 40 as well. Mine went as far as to write me a 14 page letter detailing my 7 worst "sins" in great detail while she was going through a divorce with my father. She and I have a relationship but it's distant and she lives in the same town.

I have set boundries with her, told her what they are and held her to them in a respectful manner. After all she is my mother and raised me regardless of the crap she put me through. She did the best she could with what she knew.

My best advice is this set your boundries, tell her what they are, stick to them every time in a respectful manner. Trust me when a woman like that realizes she can't "bully" you any longer she wont. Also keep in mind she is doing the best she can with what she has and was taught. Also seek the comfort of those that are not negative....your children, your husband, sisters, brothers etc.

And last but not least don't repeat your history. I do not treat my son in this manner. He is a bit over weight atm but I would never tell him he's fat, I encourage him to make better choices etc. Break the cycle and all will be good.

labeachgirl

My friend cut her mom out of her life until her mom went to therapy and showed signs of progress.