What's on your mind?
Replies
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Motorsheen wrote: »honeybee__12 wrote: »That today is Dec 7th.
Dec 7th 1941, the bombing of Pearl Harbor.
anyone heard of that? 🧐🤔😒
Thank you for the reminder.
It was a pretty dark day in American history when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.
.
I would have expected something like that out of Imperial Japan not the Germans. Go figure 🤷♂️4 -
kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »honeybee__12 wrote: »That today is Dec 7th.
Dec 7th 1941, the bombing of Pearl Harbor.
anyone heard of that? 🧐🤔😒
Thank you for the reminder.
It was a pretty dark day in American history when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.
.
I would have expected something like that out of Imperial Japan not the Germans. Go figure 🤷♂️
they carpooled2 -
Back to logging again. Day two and my mind is POSITIVE I am starving it. (I'm not, I promise.)
So far I have turned down mindless snacking on sunflower seeds, fruit snacks, chocolate and chips. (who shops for this family?!?). Now I remember why I used to work out for more food. Lol5 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Back to logging again. Day two and my mind is POSITIVE I am starving it. (I'm not, I promise.)
So far I have turned down mindless snacking on sunflower seeds, fruit snacks, chocolate and chips. (who shops for this family?!?). Now I remember why I used to work out for more food. Lol
Good job on refraining from mindless snacking! 👏
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I just read that Chuck Yeager died at the age of 97.
If there has been a greater American of our lifetime, I'm not sure who it would be.
R.I.P. Sir4 -
Motorsheen wrote: »I just read that Chuck Yeager died at the age of 97.
If there has been a greater American of our lifetime, I'm not sure who it would be.
R.I.P. Sir
Pretty much the embodiment of the modern American legend. Sad day.
We were stationed for a time on the base where he ran the sound tests using the Bell X-1. There's an entire museum there open to the public (should they want to visit it) despite it being on a military base (was Muroc Army Air Field, but is now Edwards AFB). If you visit, they have the Bell X-1E on display as well as numerous artifacts of when Yeager was present and a few interesting paraphernalia you can read about. Glamorous Glennis is, of course, in the Smithsonian as part of the Air and Space museum.
The museum is really interesting, because it really gives some clarity and insight into the film "The Right Stuff", which is a favorite of mine. And now I wonder how all the guys at the museum are taking this news. They're a bunch of really cool (retired) aviation specialists or former military in some regard, so I imagine the news will hit them hard. 2 -
$1200 for a car service. What the hell did they do? Replace parts with gold? 🙄4
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We've apparently come full circle in the realm of Colonel Sanders now. There was the weird reverent "documentary" Japanese television networks broadcast around Christmastime in Japan. Then... the weird dating sim "I Love You, Colonel Sanders!" (that I happen to have on my PC) and now... this. WTF Lifetime??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHHbTm3Npfk&feature=youtu.be 2 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »We've apparently come full circle in the realm of Colonel Sanders now. There was the weird reverent "documentary" Japanese television networks broadcast around Christmastime in Japan. Then... the weird dating sim "I Love You, Colonel Sanders!" (that I happen to have on my PC) and now... this. WTF Lifetime??https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHHbTm3Npfk&feature=youtu.be
How did I forget about these gems. There was a game too I think.0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »I just read that Chuck Yeager died at the age of 97.
If there has been a greater American of our lifetime, I'm not sure who it would be.
R.I.P. Sir
Kanye?
ETA:I'm sorry. I shouldn't try to make a stupid joke when he deserves so much more respect.2 -
My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
Sadly they never see that they did it to themselves.
My ex years ago told the kids when his gf got pregnant that they'd never amount to anything because they've too much of their mother in them and that he was going to start again and make a better family ( true story) that was just one of many examples. Yet today years later he blames me that 3 of the 4 have not spoken to him in years.9 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
Sadly they never see that they did it to themselves.
My ex years ago told the kids when his gf got pregnant that they'd never amount to anything because they've too much of their mother in them and that he was going to start again and make a better family ( true story) that was just one of many examples. Yet today years later he blames me that 3 of the 4 have not spoken to him in years.
Oh god. That is heartbreaking. My ex was also quite adamant about "training" their mother out of them and couldn't understand why that devastated the kids so much. The thing that people don't get is that your children are half mom and half dad. When one parent hates the other, they are unconcously making it known that they are hating part of their child. My youngest learned that to make dad happy, they had to put mom down. As they grew older, that didn't sit well with them. The damage done was significant and will be very hard to undo. And you are so right... they are doing it to themselves.
I may not agree with my ex... but I will not insult him or call him down. Sadly that was a one sided decision that has backfired on him considerably.
I am glad that your children have you in their lives. *hugs*4 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
That's very kind of you to have these sympathetic feelings towards him. However, it sounds like he has really messed up and has a lot of repairing to do. Maybe he'll learn a lesson from this and make himself a better dad. Shows how capable you are of forgiveness. Your kids feelings are more important, though.
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
Sadly they never see that they did it to themselves.
My ex years ago told the kids when his gf got pregnant that they'd never amount to anything because they've too much of their mother in them and that he was going to start again and make a better family ( true story) that was just one of many examples. Yet today years later he blames me that 3 of the 4 have not spoken to him in years.
Oh god. That is heartbreaking. My ex was also quite adamant about "training" their mother out of them and couldn't understand why that devastated the kids so much. The thing that people don't get is that your children are half mom and half dad. When one parent hates the other, they are unconcously making it known that they are hating part of their child. My youngest learned that to make dad happy, they had to put mom down. As they grew older, that didn't sit well with them. The damage done was significant and will be very hard to undo. And you are so right... they are doing it to themselves.
I may not agree with my ex... but I will not insult him or call him down. Sadly that was a one sided decision that has backfired on him considerably.
I am glad that your children have you in their lives. *hugs*
I never said anything to my kids either about their father. Luckily for a while when they had to visit, his gf who later became his wife treated my children very well.. I was grateful for that.
My kids lucked out and my 2nd husband ( ex now) thought the world of them and they love him and are still close to him.
I'll never forget my young son saying he wished I'd met his step-dad first and that then he'd have been his father.
I think not having their fathers negativity in their lives has helped.. they are well adjusted and very happy ( thanks largely to a great step dad)
@KickassAmazon76 your kids are lucky to have your love and strength to draw on.. it will be a tough road ahead.4 -
@slimgirljo15 and @KickassAmazon76
Just wanted to give both you strong ladies huge hugs for all that you do to keep your kids feeling loved and cared about.
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@slimgirljo15 and @KickassAmazon76
Just wanted to give both you strong ladies huge hugs for all that you do to keep your kids feeling loved and cared about.
Thank you Reenie 🤗1 -
slimgirljo15 wrote: »@slimgirljo15 and @KickassAmazon76
Just wanted to give both you strong ladies huge hugs for all that you do to keep your kids feeling loved and cared about.
Thank you Reenie 🤗
I echo this. ❤️2 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
Sadly they never see that they did it to themselves.
My ex years ago told the kids when his gf got pregnant that they'd never amount to anything because they've too much of their mother in them and that he was going to start again and make a better family ( true story) that was just one of many examples. Yet today years later he blames me that 3 of the 4 have not spoken to him in years.
Oh god. That is heartbreaking. My ex was also quite adamant about "training" their mother out of them and couldn't understand why that devastated the kids so much. The thing that people don't get is that your children are half mom and half dad. When one parent hates the other, they are unconcously making it known that they are hating part of their child. My youngest learned that to make dad happy, they had to put mom down. As they grew older, that didn't sit well with them. The damage done was significant and will be very hard to undo. And you are so right... they are doing it to themselves.
I may not agree with my ex... but I will not insult him or call him down. Sadly that was a one sided decision that has backfired on him considerably.
I am glad that your children have you in their lives. *hugs*
Your story and the story of @slimgirljo15 are tumultuous and you both have my sympathies for ever having to deal with it. I come from a family of divorce that did not end amicably. My mother spent much of my teenage (formative) years arguing with, putting down and being bitter at my father. She even hauled *kitten* and moved to another state as soon as the courts would let her because I had no choice but to go with her at that time, thus cementing the fact that I would only see my father once a month (4 hour drive one way). In the end, I can confirm: it divided my loyalties, made it very obvious that I was a burden to my mother (and only a source of revenue) and made me resent her most of the time I had to live with her. I still love her, but as soon as she kicked me out at 18, I never looked back.
I was not troublesome, I was an honor roll student who only left the house to go to school and to do extra-curricular stuff like band/art club. My mother spent most of my teenage life and young adult life blaming my father for why I was "like I was" instead of looking at her *kitten* behavior and realizing she'd made her own bed.
Our relationship is better now, but I don't fully trust her nor do I go out of my way to talk to her. Meanwhile, I talk to my dad once a week via Skype.
What I'm getting at is that you both are correct: She did it to herself. They always do. I still love her because she's my mom and I always will, but my relationship with her has caused me to be extremely cautious about anything and everything I say and do around her because of my upbringing in her home and how she treated me.6 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
Sadly they never see that they did it to themselves.
My ex years ago told the kids when his gf got pregnant that they'd never amount to anything because they've too much of their mother in them and that he was going to start again and make a better family ( true story) that was just one of many examples. Yet today years later he blames me that 3 of the 4 have not spoken to him in years.
Oh god. That is heartbreaking. My ex was also quite adamant about "training" their mother out of them and couldn't understand why that devastated the kids so much. The thing that people don't get is that your children are half mom and half dad. When one parent hates the other, they are unconcously making it known that they are hating part of their child. My youngest learned that to make dad happy, they had to put mom down. As they grew older, that didn't sit well with them. The damage done was significant and will be very hard to undo. And you are so right... they are doing it to themselves.
I may not agree with my ex... but I will not insult him or call him down. Sadly that was a one sided decision that has backfired on him considerably.
I am glad that your children have you in their lives. *hugs*
Your story and the story of @slimgirljo15 are tumultuous and you both have my sympathies for ever having to deal with it. I come from a family of divorce that did not end amicably. My mother spent much of my teenage (formative) years arguing with, putting down and being bitter at my father. She even hauled *kitten* and moved to another state as soon as the courts would let her because I had no choice but to go with her at that time, thus cementing the fact that I would only see my father once a month (4 hour drive one way). In the end, I can confirm: it divided my loyalties, made it very obvious that I was a burden to my mother (and only a source of revenue) and made me resent her most of the time I had to live with her. I still love her, but as soon as she kicked me out at 18, I never looked back.
I was not troublesome, I was an honor roll student who only left the house to go to school and to do extra-curricular stuff like band/art club. My mother spent most of my teenage life and young adult life blaming my father for why I was "like I was" instead of looking at her *kitten* behavior and realizing she'd made her own bed.
Our relationship is better now, but I don't fully trust her nor do I go out of my way to talk to her. Meanwhile, I talk to my dad once a week via Skype.
What I'm getting at is that you both are correct: She did it to herself. They always do. I still love her because she's my mom and I always will, but my relationship with her has caused me to be extremely cautious about anything and everything I say and do around her because of my upbringing in her home and how she treated me.
Im sorry you went through that.😔
My mum was married three times which caused a lot of upheaval, but I guess I can thank her for showing me what not to do to help my kids get through the divorce.
And like you I have a super close bond with my dad 🙂5
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