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"I'm a time traveler."
"I don't believe you, if it's true, why didn't you kill Hitler?"
"I killed Bob."
"Who?"
"Exactly."5 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
Sadly they never see that they did it to themselves.
My ex years ago told the kids when his gf got pregnant that they'd never amount to anything because they've too much of their mother in them and that he was going to start again and make a better family ( true story) that was just one of many examples. Yet today years later he blames me that 3 of the 4 have not spoken to him in years.
Oh god. That is heartbreaking. My ex was also quite adamant about "training" their mother out of them and couldn't understand why that devastated the kids so much. The thing that people don't get is that your children are half mom and half dad. When one parent hates the other, they are unconcously making it known that they are hating part of their child. My youngest learned that to make dad happy, they had to put mom down. As they grew older, that didn't sit well with them. The damage done was significant and will be very hard to undo. And you are so right... they are doing it to themselves.
I may not agree with my ex... but I will not insult him or call him down. Sadly that was a one sided decision that has backfired on him considerably.
I am glad that your children have you in their lives. *hugs*
Your story and the story of @slimgirljo15 are tumultuous and you both have my sympathies for ever having to deal with it. I come from a family of divorce that did not end amicably. My mother spent much of my teenage (formative) years arguing with, putting down and being bitter at my father. She even hauled *kitten* and moved to another state as soon as the courts would let her because I had no choice but to go with her at that time, thus cementing the fact that I would only see my father once a month (4 hour drive one way). In the end, I can confirm: it divided my loyalties, made it very obvious that I was a burden to my mother (and only a source of revenue) and made me resent her most of the time I had to live with her. I still love her, but as soon as she kicked me out at 18, I never looked back.
I was not troublesome, I was an honor roll student who only left the house to go to school and to do extra-curricular stuff like band/art club. My mother spent most of my teenage life and young adult life blaming my father for why I was "like I was" instead of looking at her *kitten* behavior and realizing she'd made her own bed.
Our relationship is better now, but I don't fully trust her nor do I go out of my way to talk to her. Meanwhile, I talk to my dad once a week via Skype.
What I'm getting at is that you both are correct: She did it to herself. They always do. I still love her because she's my mom and I always will, but my relationship with her has caused me to be extremely cautious about anything and everything I say and do around her because of my upbringing in her home and how she treated me.
This brought me to tears. I am so sad that you went through that. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️ I hope that one day my kids will be able to have some form of relationship with him.3 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
Sadly they never see that they did it to themselves.
My ex years ago told the kids when his gf got pregnant that they'd never amount to anything because they've too much of their mother in them and that he was going to start again and make a better family ( true story) that was just one of many examples. Yet today years later he blames me that 3 of the 4 have not spoken to him in years.
Oh god. That is heartbreaking. My ex was also quite adamant about "training" their mother out of them and couldn't understand why that devastated the kids so much. The thing that people don't get is that your children are half mom and half dad. When one parent hates the other, they are unconcously making it known that they are hating part of their child. My youngest learned that to make dad happy, they had to put mom down. As they grew older, that didn't sit well with them. The damage done was significant and will be very hard to undo. And you are so right... they are doing it to themselves.
I may not agree with my ex... but I will not insult him or call him down. Sadly that was a one sided decision that has backfired on him considerably.
I am glad that your children have you in their lives. *hugs*
Your story and the story of @slimgirljo15 are tumultuous and you both have my sympathies for ever having to deal with it. I come from a family of divorce that did not end amicably. My mother spent much of my teenage (formative) years arguing with, putting down and being bitter at my father. She even hauled *kitten* and moved to another state as soon as the courts would let her because I had no choice but to go with her at that time, thus cementing the fact that I would only see my father once a month (4 hour drive one way). In the end, I can confirm: it divided my loyalties, made it very obvious that I was a burden to my mother (and only a source of revenue) and made me resent her most of the time I had to live with her. I still love her, but as soon as she kicked me out at 18, I never looked back.
I was not troublesome, I was an honor roll student who only left the house to go to school and to do extra-curricular stuff like band/art club. My mother spent most of my teenage life and young adult life blaming my father for why I was "like I was" instead of looking at her *kitten* behavior and realizing she'd made her own bed.
Our relationship is better now, but I don't fully trust her nor do I go out of my way to talk to her. Meanwhile, I talk to my dad once a week via Skype.
What I'm getting at is that you both are correct: She did it to herself. They always do. I still love her because she's my mom and I always will, but my relationship with her has caused me to be extremely cautious about anything and everything I say and do around her because of my upbringing in her home and how she treated me.
This brought me to tears. I am so sad that you went through that. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️ I hope that one day my kids will be able to have some form of relationship with him.
They may, if he turns his attitude and values around and can see what is going on before too long. Your children probably also honestly need time to process their own emotions, how they deal with and respond to him, etc. and that takes time. I think it's PHENOMENAL that you have compassion for him at all, but I'd say not to beat yourself up too much about his decision making. You can't make the bad decisions for him, after all. He's gonna have to turn it around on his own. You're doing the best you can, not bad-mouthing him, being compassionate and showing your kids what a kind and loving human being can and should be like.
I'm not blowing smoke up your rear when I say I feel like you really, TRULY embody your username here. You're doing a lot of stuff on your own, absolutely killing it while still showing you struggle sometimes and have conflicting thoughts. You truly are a "Kickass Amazon".
And that is no small feat. 5 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »KosmosKitten wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »My heart aches for my ex. He has managed to do such a number on his kids' hearts that they want nothing to do with him. They've been living with me full time for over a month now, and as Christmas approaches, neither of them want to see him for Christmas (in fact, the thought of even seeing or talking to him makes them anxious).
And my heart hurts. As a parent, I can imagine how much he is hurting. I know how hard this will be for him, and I KNOW he feels that this is all my doing. He doesn't see how much I have tried to soften the negative feelings, how often I have tried to help them see other viewpoints (including his). I don't want to see him suffer, I don't want him to lose contact with them. But at this point, it is no longer in my hands.
Sadly they never see that they did it to themselves.
My ex years ago told the kids when his gf got pregnant that they'd never amount to anything because they've too much of their mother in them and that he was going to start again and make a better family ( true story) that was just one of many examples. Yet today years later he blames me that 3 of the 4 have not spoken to him in years.
Oh god. That is heartbreaking. My ex was also quite adamant about "training" their mother out of them and couldn't understand why that devastated the kids so much. The thing that people don't get is that your children are half mom and half dad. When one parent hates the other, they are unconcously making it known that they are hating part of their child. My youngest learned that to make dad happy, they had to put mom down. As they grew older, that didn't sit well with them. The damage done was significant and will be very hard to undo. And you are so right... they are doing it to themselves.
I may not agree with my ex... but I will not insult him or call him down. Sadly that was a one sided decision that has backfired on him considerably.
I am glad that your children have you in their lives. *hugs*
Your story and the story of @slimgirljo15 are tumultuous and you both have my sympathies for ever having to deal with it. I come from a family of divorce that did not end amicably. My mother spent much of my teenage (formative) years arguing with, putting down and being bitter at my father. She even hauled *kitten* and moved to another state as soon as the courts would let her because I had no choice but to go with her at that time, thus cementing the fact that I would only see my father once a month (4 hour drive one way). In the end, I can confirm: it divided my loyalties, made it very obvious that I was a burden to my mother (and only a source of revenue) and made me resent her most of the time I had to live with her. I still love her, but as soon as she kicked me out at 18, I never looked back.
I was not troublesome, I was an honor roll student who only left the house to go to school and to do extra-curricular stuff like band/art club. My mother spent most of my teenage life and young adult life blaming my father for why I was "like I was" instead of looking at her *kitten* behavior and realizing she'd made her own bed.
Our relationship is better now, but I don't fully trust her nor do I go out of my way to talk to her. Meanwhile, I talk to my dad once a week via Skype.
What I'm getting at is that you both are correct: She did it to herself. They always do. I still love her because she's my mom and I always will, but my relationship with her has caused me to be extremely cautious about anything and everything I say and do around her because of my upbringing in her home and how she treated me.
This brought me to tears. I am so sad that you went through that. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️ I hope that one day my kids will be able to have some form of relationship with him.
They may, if he turns his attitude and values around and can see what is going on before too long. Your children probably also honestly need time to process their own emotions, how they deal with and respond to him, etc. and that takes time. I think it's PHENOMENAL that you have compassion for him at all, but I'd say not to beat yourself up too much about his decision making. You can't make the bad decisions for him, after all. He's gonna have to turn it around on his own. You're doing the best you can, not bad-mouthing him, being compassionate and showing your kids what a kind and loving human being can and should be like.
I'm not blowing smoke up your rear when I say I feel like you really, TRULY embody your username here. You're doing a lot of stuff on your own, absolutely killing it while still showing you struggle sometimes and have conflicting thoughts. You truly are a "Kickass Amazon".
And that is no small feat.
OK now I am legit crying.
❤️ ❤️ ❤️
5 -
I've never heard of a tree being girthy. To see the girthiest one ever made me chuckle! Hahaha
Thanks for that @JessBbody!4 -
💩always..........rolls downhill.........1 -
You haven't seen me after having Chipotle lolhoneybee__12 wrote: »
💩always..........rolls downhill.........
1 -
chuckle_bunny wrote: »
You haven't seen me after having Chipotle lolhoneybee__12 wrote: »
💩always..........rolls downhill.........
😂😂😂🤭0 -
In the process of moving. I hate moving. Funny thing is...I don’t have a place to move into yet and I’m not exactly sure where in general I’ll be moving to...so that’s fun... 🙄🙄🙄4
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After watching Bette Midler in the movie
“ The Rose “ it reminded me how Amy Winehouse was before she died .
It’s like the movie was some how written for her before she was a star .2 -
I need hobbies outside of drinking and listening to sad music. Hobbies that don't require me to be creative.
Although this rum/Coke combo is quite nice.5 -
Thinking... How grateful I am to have listened to my intuition on Monday. Decided not to go for an hour walk at 4AM. By 415, Mom fell in the bathroom and hit her head on the metal door track on the bathtub. Had I not respected my intuition, she would have been on the bathroom floor bleeding profusely.
Grateful to live near a fire station. Fire truck and ambulance arrived less than 10 minutes. Grateful for the nurses and Drs.
Grateful shes ok. It could have been worse.9 -
FourWindsWalker wrote: »Thinking... How grateful I am to have listened to my intuition on Monday. Decided not to go for an hour walk at 4AM. By 415, Mom fell in the bathroom and hit her head on the metal door track on the bathtub. Had I not respected my intuition, she would have been on the bathroom floor bleeding profusely.
Grateful to live near a fire station. Fire truck and ambulance arrived less than 10 minutes. Grateful for the nurses and Drs.
Grateful shes ok. It could have been worse.
😮 so sorry that happened to her and lucky you were there!1 -
In 1986 I went to the beach with youth group to see Halley’s comet. It was cold and I had to pee and I saw nothing.
The Perseids are generally underwhelming.
Do I really need to stay up till after midnight in winter to try to see the northern lights?
1 -
FourWindsWalker wrote: »Thinking... How grateful I am to have listened to my intuition on Monday. Decided not to go for an hour walk at 4AM. By 415, Mom fell in the bathroom and hit her head on the metal door track on the bathtub. Had I not respected my intuition, she would have been on the bathroom floor bleeding profusely.
Grateful to live near a fire station. Fire truck and ambulance arrived less than 10 minutes. Grateful for the nurses and Drs.
Grateful shes ok. It could have been worse.
Wow that's pretty scary .
So glad you listened to you're intuition .
I call them Guardian Angel
2 -
what if that "sex and candy" song back in the day was actually about john candy4
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FourWindsWalker wrote: »Thinking... How grateful I am to have listened to my intuition on Monday. Decided not to go for an hour walk at 4AM. By 415, Mom fell in the bathroom and hit her head on the metal door track on the bathtub. Had I not respected my intuition, she would have been on the bathroom floor bleeding profusely.
Grateful to live near a fire station. Fire truck and ambulance arrived less than 10 minutes. Grateful for the nurses and Drs.
Grateful shes ok. It could have been worse.
How scary! Glad you listened to that inner voice and everything worked out okay for your mom!!1 -
@Kashmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too1 -
scratchmyTwitch wrote: »@kasmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too
Obviously they were invented for scary movies.4 -
scratchmyTwitch wrote: »@Kashmir_314_
I just googled why were chainsaws invented. And now I’m afraid of them too
"The procedure, which was known as a "symphysiotomy," was originally performed by hand using a small knife and saw to remove the bone.
And to make things worse, this was all done without anesthesia to a woman in the middle of giving birth.
It took a long time and it was messy and obviously painful."
Whoa..... and this wasn't all that long ago either.
Modern Medicine can't evolve fast enough.0
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