How to Cope with Dad's HORRIBLE Diet

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Replies

  • jujubeans1974
    jujubeans1974 Posts: 145 Member
    I don't have anything informative to add.. lost my dad last June ... I would do anything, eat anything.. just to spend time with him ..
  • wellthenwhat
    wellthenwhat Posts: 526 Member
    I would continue to get the coffee, maybe a piece of toast, and if he laid into me, I would make it VERY clear that he needs to cut that out, or I will leave. If you enjoy your dad, enjoy the time with your dad. I would not personally do that, because my dad has a toxic personality, and neither of us have any desire to spend time one on one with each other.
  • ashjongfit
    ashjongfit Posts: 147 Member
    ....So have a coffee and just grab a muffin? Your surely able to grab a small amount of food. Take half home and bin it later?
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    Slice of toast with an egg on top and a cup of tea. Sorted
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,331 Member
    Two extra 10 minute walks every day and you'll have enough calories for a stress-free diner day with your dad. Enjoyable stress-free time with the people I love is more important to me than any diet. Diet can be tweaked, precious moments spent stressing can't be rewinded.
  • raquele3394
    raquele3394 Posts: 180 Member
    ZenZeta wrote: »
    So my dad is 86 years old, and I recently had to place him in an Assisted Living facility. Since bringing him to live with me 2 years ago, I have put on 25 pounds! Caregiving takes an enormous toll on a person mentally and physically, and the burden of making multiple meals and trying to squeeze in time for the gym was too much.

    So I have started exercising again and working out, but I still have one HUGE dilemma. Dad has adopted a weekly habit of visiting a local greasy diner every Saturday morning. This was a place I would visit on a cheat day, but I'm not a fan of eating there every week. In addition, it's not easy to get healthy food there.

    I've tried to order a veggie egg white omelet on wheat toast and after SEVERAL trips to the kitchen (why is this confusing), I still end up with a greasy, overcooked, buttery mess. The place does not serve oatmeal nor are they willing to boil me an egg so I can just eat the whites, and they charge me a ridiculous amount for the modifications or anything healthy ($3 for a small fruit cup? No thank you).

    Dad is pretty stuck in his ways and makes it known how AWFUL I am if I just have coffee, so my only other option is to attempt to bring in my own food, but I think that's against the law, and I've already had eyes rolled at me when I brought in my green juice.

    So... should I just let the healthy thing go and suffer through the unhealthy diner food EVERY week? BLECK!!!!!

    So what I learned through the many years of dieting and eating healthy, you can accommodate the dinner trip and spend time with dad. I would add 15 more minutes a day to workout when you go to the gym. Or you can go to gym that day and do an extra walk around the neighborhood. You can have one egg, 3 slices of bacon and the whole wheat bread. So the calories are 90+120+140=359. And half & half 2 containers 20 calories each. That is not bad at all and you can spend time with your dad! Take care!!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,373 Member
    ZenZeta wrote: »
    So my dad is 86 years old, and I recently had to place him in an Assisted Living facility. Since bringing him to live with me 2 years ago, I have put on 25 pounds! Caregiving takes an enormous toll on a person mentally and physically, and the burden of making multiple meals and trying to squeeze in time for the gym was too much.

    So I have started exercising again and working out, but I still have one HUGE dilemma. Dad has adopted a weekly habit of visiting a local greasy diner every Saturday morning. This was a place I would visit on a cheat day, but I'm not a fan of eating there every week. In addition, it's not easy to get healthy food there.

    I've tried to order a veggie egg white omelet on wheat toast and after SEVERAL trips to the kitchen (why is this confusing), I still end up with a greasy, overcooked, buttery mess. The place does not serve oatmeal nor are they willing to boil me an egg so I can just eat the whites, and they charge me a ridiculous amount for the modifications or anything healthy ($3 for a small fruit cup? No thank you).

    Dad is pretty stuck in his ways and makes it known how AWFUL I am if I just have coffee, so my only other option is to attempt to bring in my own food, but I think that's against the law, and I've already had eyes rolled at me when I brought in my green juice.

    So... should I just let the healthy thing go and suffer through the unhealthy diner food EVERY week? BLECK!!!!!

    So what I learned through the many years of dieting and eating healthy, you can accommodate the dinner trip and spend time with dad. I would add 15 more minutes a day to workout when you go to the gym. Or you can go to gym that day and do an extra walk around the neighborhood. You can have one egg, 3 slices of bacon and the whole wheat bread. So the calories are 90+120+140=359. And half & half 2 containers 20 calories each. That is not bad at all and you can spend time with your dad! Take care!!

    Yeah but if you don't care for that kind of food and it's a weekly thing... I mean, to each their own, but I wouldn't make my life harder all week just so I can fit in something I don't even want in the first place.

    Also OP mentioned that it's greasy so your calories are probably closer to 500-600 once you add the butter/oil and whatnot...

    Anyway, OP found a solution.
  • amyinthetardis1231
    amyinthetardis1231 Posts: 571 Member
    ZenZeta wrote: »
    Just thought I'd revisit to see how many more tomatoes were thrown (smile).

    Like I said, I now literally make my own sandwich and inhale it right before I pick him up for breakfast. I then order a fruit cup and only eat half of it because I can't stand grapefruit and I'm not going to bother asking them for a fruit cup without it, and I drink my $1.75 hot water that they don't refill. Oh well...

    And honestly, spending the time with Dad is and always has been challenging, but none of his other 7 children bother to spend time with him, and I think it's cruel to let him rot away in some facility alone.

    So for those that keep saying "Enjoy the time..." I do my best.

    And for the record, I'm not a "fat snob" or anything else BUT I like to put healthy foods into my body most of the time. Trust, that when I want to have my fun, I do.

    No, one meal won't derail my efforts, and when I plan to "cheat", I want it to be on FOOD I LIKE!!! My motto is, if they're going to be "bad" calories, I want them to be "good" bad calories

    (Pizza from a local Italian Pizzeria - with REAL ingredients, Dessert from a Bakery instead of processed crap out of the grocery store, a burger that is actually ground beef and fries that come from a potato and not a brown paper bag of frozen nothingness). See what I mean?

    And I work out every Saturday after taking Dad to the diner and before going to the second job I must work to help pay for his care giving expenses...

    I'm sure I will miss lots of things, so no disrespect to those that had great relationships with their departed parents / loved ones...

    As I said... caregiving is HARD.

    Being a caregiver is extremely hard, and doubly or tripl-y so when you have a strained or difficult relationship with the person in your care. When you've spent your life bending over backwards to accommodate someone who doesn't appreciate or reciprocate your efforts, it can be galling to have everyone telling you to suck it up and enjoy something you don't find enjoyable. If you continue to spend this time with your dad, I am 100% supportive of doing whatever you need to do to make it as painless as possible. Not everyone has a great parent-child relationship, and people need to recognize that just because they would give anything to see their dad again,you may not have that kind of relationship. It IS a sacrifice to spend time with someone who doesn't value your time, don't let anyone guilt you over not doing it with a song in your heart.
  • regpark85
    regpark85 Posts: 98 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I wish my dad was still around for me to join him once per week at a greasy dinner...I'd kill for that.

    When I'm 86 I pretty much plan to do what I want and I'd hope my kids would just play along 'cuz at that point baby, it's borrowed time.

    yep what he said!
  • MadPirateFox
    MadPirateFox Posts: 7 Member
    Every diner I know of has toast. Order some toast, eat a slice with some butter and maybe some bacon. Claim you're too full to eat the rest.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    I like eggs and would be happy to have them -- when traveling I find breakfast the easiest meal to deal with by far -- but if OP doesn't like eggs and bacon, no reason to eat it. I do find the idea that eggs are not real food (see, e.g., rant about what OP will and will not eat) a bit odd, but it sounds like there's more to this whole thing than the food that OP finds frustrating and I get that.
  • mom22dogs
    mom22dogs Posts: 470 Member
    ZenZeta wrote: »
    Just thought I'd revisit to see how many more tomatoes were thrown (smile).

    Like I said, I now literally make my own sandwich and inhale it right before I pick him up for breakfast. I then order a fruit cup and only eat half of it because I can't stand grapefruit and I'm not going to bother asking them for a fruit cup without it, and I drink my $1.75 hot water that they don't refill. Oh well...

    And honestly, spending the time with Dad is and always has been challenging, but none of his other 7 children bother to spend time with him, and I think it's cruel to let him rot away in some facility alone.

    So for those that keep saying "Enjoy the time..." I do my best.

    And for the record, I'm not a "fat snob" or anything else BUT I like to put healthy foods into my body most of the time. Trust, that when I want to have my fun, I do.

    No, one meal won't derail my efforts, and when I plan to "cheat", I want it to be on FOOD I LIKE!!! My motto is, if they're going to be "bad" calories, I want them to be "good" bad calories

    (Pizza from a local Italian Pizzeria - with REAL ingredients, Dessert from a Bakery instead of processed crap out of the grocery store, a burger that is actually ground beef and fries that come from a potato and not a brown paper bag of frozen nothingness). See what I mean?

    And I work out every Saturday after taking Dad to the diner and before going to the second job I must work to help pay for his care giving expenses...

    I'm sure I will miss lots of things, so no disrespect to those that had great relationships with their departed parents / loved ones...

    As I said... caregiving is HARD.

    So it sounds like it's more a situation of you resent him, or resent that you have to be the one to still spend time with him. I don't think it's necessarily the food you eat that's the issue. You are just resentful of the situation, and are "taking it out on" the food choices, because it sounds like you just don't enjoy doing it.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
    ZenZeta wrote: »
    Just thought I'd revisit to see how many more tomatoes were thrown (smile).

    Like I said, I now literally make my own sandwich and inhale it right before I pick him up for breakfast. I then order a fruit cup and only eat half of it because I can't stand grapefruit and I'm not going to bother asking them for a fruit cup without it, and I drink my $1.75 hot water that they don't refill. Oh well...

    And honestly, spending the time with Dad is and always has been challenging, but none of his other 7 children bother to spend time with him, and I think it's cruel to let him rot away in some facility alone.

    So for those that keep saying "Enjoy the time..." I do my best.

    And for the record, I'm not a "fat snob" or anything else BUT I like to put healthy foods into my body most of the time. Trust, that when I want to have my fun, I do.

    No, one meal won't derail my efforts, and when I plan to "cheat", I want it to be on FOOD I LIKE!!! My motto is, if they're going to be "bad" calories, I want them to be "good" bad calories

    (Pizza from a local Italian Pizzeria - with REAL ingredients, Dessert from a Bakery instead of processed crap out of the grocery store, a burger that is actually ground beef and fries that come from a potato and not a brown paper bag of frozen nothingness). See what I mean?

    And I work out every Saturday after taking Dad to the diner and before going to the second job I must work to help pay for his care giving expenses...

    I'm sure I will miss lots of things, so no disrespect to those that had great relationships with their departed parents / loved ones...

    As I said... caregiving is HARD.

    Sounds like you've got it together. Kudos on finding a way to eat that works for you, for getting your workout in afterwards, and for continuing to get him out regularly, especially knowing that his other kids aren't. Bravo.

    Now the busybody part. Do your siblings live anywhere close by? Could you invite them along or suggest that they take a turn the odd day? I know I would feel resentful about their lack of effort if I were you, but I would like to think I would be big enough to try to encourage more participation on their part, if only for my father's sake.

  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 8,002 Member
    I'm glad you have found a solution that works for you OP and thanks for retruning to the thread to say so.

    Not sure why people are still posting their solutions when you have done this but anyways...

    and caregiving can be hard and carers are human - I really dont think responding to someone posting with "I'm struggling with such and such issue with my aged parent" with guilt inducing comments like "Well just be grateful he is here" are very helpful.
  • comptonelizabeth
    comptonelizabeth Posts: 1,698 Member
    Good luck, op :)