Looking less than what you weigh?
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nataliecg926 wrote: »I probably do look my weight, just have a skewed idea of what weight actually looks like because everyone always underestimates I think
By your pictures you are a beautiful curvy woman. You carry your weight well ( not all in one spot). And others will always see what they want; but as long as you are working on you and are happy in your skin.. that's ultimately what matters
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br1tt3rb33 wrote: »I have just started the throwing food away approach as of recent after talking with one supportive friend. She and I both have a hard time throwing food away coming from a childhood where we've known hunger. Other than that I don't know what to do so that I am not rude. I can't be aggressive towards certain family members and wasteful. I really struggle with choosing to throw food away.
Yeah, I get that. My mom used to guilt me with the "starving children in Africa". But remember to things: that food is going to waste anyways whether it goes in the bin or on your thighs. Also, that food is already made. Would you be able to reasonably donate it to a third world country? If it's a canned good, maybe, and if that makes you feel better than go for it! A cupcake though? There's really nothing that can be done.
And I know being assertive is hard, but you just gotta take a leap of faith and go for it. Otherwise, your family will dictate your health every step of the way. Say no now and it will get easier down the line. And, hopefully, at some point, they'll stop pestering and mind their own business!0 -
br1tt3rb33 wrote: »I have just started the throwing food away approach as of recent after talking with one supportive friend. She and I both have a hard time throwing food away coming from a childhood where we've known hunger. Other than that I don't know what to do so that I am not rude. I can't be aggressive towards certain family members and wasteful. I really struggle with choosing to throw food away.
if you hav esaid 'thanks but i don't want it, if i take it home it'll just end up in the bin' and they keep saying 'take it, take it, take it' then they are being wasteful, not you.
or portion it out into amounts that you can fit into your weekly calories and freeze the rest?
life is too short to never have dessert and there is nothing wrong with 'junk' in moderation if overall you have a healthy diet.2 -
I understand what you are saying--I weigh 373 pounds (lost 7 pounds last week--yay!) and when doctors see my weight on the chart they always say, "go weigh again, that can't be right; it's too high." I don't know if my fat cells are more compressed (lol!) or what but I'm glad of it!0
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TavistockToad wrote: »br1tt3rb33 wrote: »I have just started the throwing food away approach as of recent after talking with one supportive friend. She and I both have a hard time throwing food away coming from a childhood where we've known hunger. Other than that I don't know what to do so that I am not rude. I can't be aggressive towards certain family members and wasteful. I really struggle with choosing to throw food away.
if you hav esaid 'thanks but i don't want it, if i take it home it'll just end up in the bin' and they keep saying 'take it, take it, take it' then they are being wasteful, not you.
or portion it out into amounts that you can fit into your weekly calories and freeze the rest?
life is too short to never have dessert and there is nothing wrong with 'junk' in moderation if overall you have a healthy diet.SparklyBubblyBabe wrote: »br1tt3rb33 wrote: »I have just started the throwing food away approach as of recent after talking with one supportive friend. She and I both have a hard time throwing food away coming from a childhood where we've known hunger. Other than that I don't know what to do so that I am not rude. I can't be aggressive towards certain family members and wasteful. I really struggle with choosing to throw food away.
Yeah, I get that. My mom used to guilt me with the "starving children in Africa". But remember to things: that food is going to waste anyways whether it goes in the bin or on your thighs. Also, that food is already made. Would you be able to reasonably donate it to a third world country? If it's a canned good, maybe, and if that makes you feel better than go for it! A cupcake though? There's really nothing that can be done.
And I know being assertive is hard, but you just gotta take a leap of faith and go for it. Otherwise, your family will dictate your health every step of the way. Say no now and it will get easier down the line. And, hopefully, at some point, they'll stop pestering and mind their own business!
Thanks it's just good to know there are like minded people out there and I appreciate the support! Funny how with the internet we turn to strangers for that sort of thing when it should come from people we love. This is my struggle and I know it seems a silly thing but for me it is extremely frustrating.0 -
I understand what you are saying--I weigh 373 pounds (lost 7 pounds last week--yay!) and when doctors see my weight on the chart they always say, "go weigh again, that can't be right; it's too high." I don't know if my fat cells are more compressed (lol!) or what but I'm glad of it!
Well that's gotta make you feel good!
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ladyreva78 wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »This post reminds me of a pastor who told the story of being at a hospital and seeing a lady step on a scale to weigh herself. "Do you mind if I guess your weight?"
She told him she didn't and when she discovered that his guess was just a few pounds off she asked, "How did you do that?"
"Oh, it was easy," he said, "I used to weigh hogs."
When my weight was floating around 270, I had convinced myself that I really wasn't that much overweight. I think we all tend to do that. And most of our friends are too kind to say, "you look like a big fat hog." Instead, they say things like, "You could lose a few pounds, but you don't look bad." We look in the mirror and see one part of the body that we focus on. For me it was my belly, but we don't notice other things, like our legs or our arms, or our face. We may experience health issues, like shortness of breath, sore knees, acid re-flux, or a general tendency to fill ill, but we tend to say things like "I'm just not as young as I used to be" rather than saying, "I'm obese."
From experience I can say that I don't believe a person who is overweight is far enough removed from the situation to say that they don't look as heavy as they are. Once they lose the weight and get down to the weight they thought they looked like they were, they are much more likely to say, "I can't believe I thought I looked this weight!"
It was actually incredibly freeing to admit to myself that I was obese and that yes, I looked the weight. Coming to terms with the fact that I had 50kg to lose helped me actually lose the weight.
I actually shocked people when started applying that word to myself. There seems to be something taboo about using it to describe one's self. Yet being realistic about where I was and where I need to go helped me get on the way there.
Oddly enough, 30kg later and my brain is once again lagging behind. Now that I'm at the weight I thought I was at (BMI 29), my brain is still thinking I'm at the weight I was actually at (BMI40). Leads to some funny situations in changing rooms when I pick up items several sizes too large just because my brain hasn't made the latest switch.
Oh, this is so true, so very true! I don't know that I would have progressed as far as I have if I had not been able to connect with that fundamental truth.
I too am stuck with the image of where I am now, brain lag, and progress. I want to lose a little vanity weight, and now that I'm smaller than I think I am, there's a little devil on my shoulder telling me it's okay to loosen up some of the controls I had in place. Silly, silly devil.4 -
ladyreva78 wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »This post reminds me of a pastor who told the story of being at a hospital and seeing a lady step on a scale to weigh herself. "Do you mind if I guess your weight?"
She told him she didn't and when she discovered that his guess was just a few pounds off she asked, "How did you do that?"
"Oh, it was easy," he said, "I used to weigh hogs."
When my weight was floating around 270, I had convinced myself that I really wasn't that much overweight. I think we all tend to do that. And most of our friends are too kind to say, "you look like a big fat hog." Instead, they say things like, "You could lose a few pounds, but you don't look bad." We look in the mirror and see one part of the body that we focus on. For me it was my belly, but we don't notice other things, like our legs or our arms, or our face. We may experience health issues, like shortness of breath, sore knees, acid re-flux, or a general tendency to fill ill, but we tend to say things like "I'm just not as young as I used to be" rather than saying, "I'm obese."
From experience I can say that I don't believe a person who is overweight is far enough removed from the situation to say that they don't look as heavy as they are. Once they lose the weight and get down to the weight they thought they looked like they were, they are much more likely to say, "I can't believe I thought I looked this weight!"
It was actually incredibly freeing to admit to myself that I was obese and that yes, I looked the weight. Coming to terms with the fact that I had 50kg to lose helped me actually lose the weight.
I actually shocked people when started applying that word to myself. There seems to be something taboo about using it to describe one's self. Yet being realistic about where I was and where I need to go helped me get on the way there.
Oddly enough, 30kg later and my brain is once again lagging behind. Now that I'm at the weight I thought I was at (BMI 29), my brain is still thinking I'm at the weight I was actually at (BMI40). Leads to some funny situations in changing rooms when I pick up items several sizes too large just because my brain hasn't made the latest switch.
I went shopping recently with my sis-in-law and picked up a couple of dresses to try on. She gave me a very quizzical look and said, "er, I think you might need a smaller size". She was right. I'm 25lbs down and my brain has definitely not caught up yet.2 -
MyBodyGallery.com is good for this. They post pictures of women at all different heights and weights. There is also a quiz on there to show how hard it is to guess someone's weight, I highly recommend taking it because it'll change your prespective.0
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Tiny_Dancer_in_Pink wrote: »br1tt3rb33 wrote: »Yess! This is a real problem. I am overweight for my height and my family does not agree and disrespects my food choices by always sending me home with desserts and junk food because I "don't need to lose weight". Okay. Firstly, any one who doesn't see me in my birthday suit doesn't know how disgusted I am with myself. Secondly, I know my BMI and I am overweight! I tried explaining to them I can't eat all this crap like they did and they're "fine". Well we have a more sedentary life style than you know, people over 80 years old did. And how dare they tell me they are fine and I need to eat MORE, when they have diabetes! I guess misery loves company and my own family wishes for me to suffer with them.. Because of this I have only lost 13 pounds and have 31 more pounds to go! I should already be at my goal weight but I am being held back by family and sometimes even friends. Everyone always wants you to eat, eat, and eat some more. Ugh!
You know, you can say no and don't eat it.
This. People say stuff like that all the time, to most of us. You just nod and smile and ignore it or say "no thank you" or if you get food shoved in your hand after saying no give it away or toss it (which is really okay).
No one can make you eat something.
It's not disrespecting you or trying to sabotage you, it's just thinking you don't really mean it and trying to be nice, usually, or really having perceptions that are off.1 -
bowsontoes wrote: »MyBodyGallery.com is good for this. They post pictures of women at all different heights and weights. There is also a quiz on there to show how hard it is to guess someone's weight, I highly recommend taking it because it'll change your prespective.
Oh, some of the people on that site are lying liars who lie. It's not really good.
In fact, it's a perfect illustration of people saying what they think they look like in many cases.5 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Tiny_Dancer_in_Pink wrote: »br1tt3rb33 wrote: »Yess! This is a real problem. I am overweight for my height and my family does not agree and disrespects my food choices by always sending me home with desserts and junk food because I "don't need to lose weight". Okay. Firstly, any one who doesn't see me in my birthday suit doesn't know how disgusted I am with myself. Secondly, I know my BMI and I am overweight! I tried explaining to them I can't eat all this crap like they did and they're "fine". Well we have a more sedentary life style than you know, people over 80 years old did. And how dare they tell me they are fine and I need to eat MORE, when they have diabetes! I guess misery loves company and my own family wishes for me to suffer with them.. Because of this I have only lost 13 pounds and have 31 more pounds to go! I should already be at my goal weight but I am being held back by family and sometimes even friends. Everyone always wants you to eat, eat, and eat some more. Ugh!
You know, you can say no and don't eat it.
This. People say stuff like that all the time, to most of us. You just nod and smile and ignore it or say "no thank you" or if you get food shoved in your hand after saying no give it away or toss it (which is really okay).
No one can make you eat something.
It's not disrespecting you or trying to sabotage you, it's just thinking you don't really mean it and trying to be nice, usually, or really having perceptions that are off.
No it is not being nice it is pushing their opinions on me. Will not offer only once if I say no thanks that translates to them as not right now and they won't stop offering it or asking me to eat some until I do. It's easier said than done dealing with certain people. But as I said. This is my struggle.1 -
I am a 5'9 male. I hover around 175-185. I hit an all time high of 197 last year.
Nobody ever believed that I weighed close to 200 lbs. Most people think I weigh around 160.0 -
People are weird about food. They often think if you say no you don't really mean it or just need to be encouraged/told it's okay. It's weird, but I think it IS normally intended nicely (like you said, they understand the response as not right now). People have a hard time breaking patterns, so if they are used to something they don't expect change or believe it at first. We all deal with that.1
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Some people are more muscular which makes them not look as big. but I think in the end if the day like a few have said often people are just being nice. Or its the effect of often you view others as looking better than you..generally it will be people that have known you a long time (they no longer see you for really you) example: I had a friend that was easily over 300lbs when I looked at her I didn't see fat I saw my friend.
And then us...no one ever really can get a accurate perception of themselves. I look in the mirror and don't see fat...but then I get a phot snapped of me and I'm rudely reminded of how much weight I need to lose lol0 -
nataliecg926 wrote: »Does anyone else feel like they look less than what they weigh? I know people say weight is just a number and doesn't have to mean "all that" but I weighed myself recently and I am 274 lbs at 5'5 and I don't feel like I weigh THAT much. I thought I was 250 lbs and someone said that I looked like I weighed less and turns out I actually weigh MORE. I tell people my goal is to lose 125 pounds and they look at me like I'm crazy..anybody else experience this?nataliecg926 wrote: »I guess I'm just daunted by how far my journey is when previously I didn't think I had this far to go, although I mostly just want to get under 200 and go from there
My body image was way off when I was much heavier. I was in denial about my weight. Keep yourself surrounded be supportive people. Don't invest your time in someone who will look at you like your crazy for having any goal in life.
My advice for whatever it's worth. (feel free to ignore this part of my post)
What helped me to be in this for the long run
(1) When you wake up, focus on what you are going to do with your 24 hours. (don't focus on how far you have to go to get to your final goal)
(2) when you reach a small goal reward yourself (non-food related)
(3) Be consistent. Log your food, be active, and hydrate
(4) It's ok to have setbacks. The important thing is to quickly forgive yourself and get back on the horse.
Wishing you the best,
Jenn2 -
rainbowbow wrote: »No, i think most people who think they look less have no idea how a normal non-overweight body looks anymore. I've never seen someone who looks more or less than they actually weigh.
Boy, I sure have. One of my current life's privileges is the opportunity to know many women rowers in a very good collegiate varsity program (NCAA Div I). Those whose weight I've known have weighed 20, 30 or more pounds more than I'd guess.
When you see them in pretty dresses (often halter or spaghetti strap styles, and short hemline, so you do see them), they look like normal, healthy, slender young women. When you see them on the dock after a race, it's obvious that they're all solid, well-developed muscle.
Almost none of us do weight training as progressively as they do, nor anything close to their volume of strength-building sport . . . so we look our weight. Some of us may have luckier distribution of it, or a bit more muscle, but that's it.
Back on topic: I actually had one of my medical team argue with me, before I lost weight, when I said I was obese. I made her do the BMI arithmetic; of course I was right.
Why the misperception? Because I was athletic even then, my face was a little thinner and my body less puffy than many of my weight, and when one has 34-35" hips under the fat, an extra 13-14" hip circumference looks different than it would on someone with a more typical female pelvis.4 -
It's really hard to say whether someone "looks their weight" because people wear their weight so differently, have different body types and all that. It can be disheartening to learn that you weigh more than you expected but don't worry, you can and will still succeed.
I used to think "I didn't look that fat", and I think partly that's because we just get used to what we look like and it becomes "just normal." I'll tell you where the illusions were stripped away, though--the fitting room at Macy's. I guess it was the lighting?? I didn't just look my weight, I looked my weight +more. It got me to get serious about losing weight, so I guess it was a good thing.3 -
rainbowbow wrote: »No, i think most people who think they look less have no idea how a normal non-overweight body looks anymore. I've never seen someone who looks more or less than they actually weigh.
Boy, I sure have. One of my current life's privileges is the opportunity to know many women rowers in a very good collegiate varsity program (NCAA Div I). Those whose weight I've known have weighed 20, 30 or more pounds more than I'd guess.
When you see them in pretty dresses (often halter or spaghetti strap styles, and short hemline, so you do see them), they look like normal, healthy, slender young women. When you see them on the dock after a race, it's obvious that they're all solid, well-developed muscle.
Almost none of us do weight training as progressively as they do, nor anything close to their volume of strength-building sport . . . so we look our weight. Some of us may have luckier distribution of it, or a bit more muscle, but that's it.
Back on topic: I actually had one of my medical team argue with me, before I lost weight, when I said I was obese. I made her do the BMI arithmetic; of course I was right.
Why the misperception? Because I was athletic even then, my face was a little thinner and my body less puffy than many of my weight, and when one has 34-35" hips under the fat, an extra 13-14" hip circumference looks different than it would on someone with a more typical female pelvis.
i don't know.. if i know someone is an athlete it's not particularly surprising that they weigh "20-30 pounds more". On the flip side, it's not shocking for me to guess someone is underweight either. Maybe i just have a good eye for this type of stuff?
It's interesting because while i can look at other's bodies objectively with no issues i have body dysmorphia with myself.1 -
The prevalence of obesity has warped many of our views on what is a healthy weight vs overweight vs obese. Most people are also terrible at judging size. We tell people to weigh their peanut butter. A person is a lot bigger than 2T of peanut butter. The variation between what we think people weigh and what they actually weigh is bound to be off by quite a lot, numbers-wise.
Co-signed.
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