I'm afraid of being stronger than men.
Replies
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLTresaAswegan wrote: »TresaAswegan wrote: »TresaAswegan wrote: »My gym is pretty small, the men around my age who lift there generally say they are there to "get them off the couch" and are not competitive (so not powerlifters, basically regular people who enjoy going to the gym). I will never be as strong as them, they bench press more than I squat.
I imagine when I ask for a spot they might think "wow I've never seen a girl at this gym lift that much" but it's nowhere near what they lift lol.
^ And I'd have to agree, asking for a spot can be a good way to strike up a conversation. Or ask if they're done using something, a question about their training, etc. It's pretty much the same as talking to men who aren't at the gym, except sweatier.
My husband doesn't lift and I do, but I'll gladly take him to the store with so he can carry the dog food and carry all the groceries in the house.
I had no idea you were married. I don't ever recall you mentioning this before.
eta: Not that I think you need to tell anyone - just kinda funny that I've seen you post for a while and today had a "wait, what?" moment.
September
so I'm still fresh meat. It's why there was a good 6 months I really wasn't on the forums- I was still logging - but I wasn't really posting. I was sort of doing that whole "plan a giant expensive party" thing.
It's still weird to say "husband"- I'm not used to it at all. But yep- old married and irrelevant/off the old meat market.
I think he meant me haha.
I think I've mentioned it before on threads like "my significant other isn't into fitness/etc" type posts? I tend to try and keep my personal life off the interwebs though.
Like I said he doesn't lift and is not into fitness-y stuff at all so I guess he doesn't come up when it comes to lifting posts haha. (We don't really eat together very often either. He lives on cheese and ramen noodles by choice and I guess that's fine lol.) He loves to remind me that he will always kick my butt when it comes to things like pull ups and non-gym lifting. Gym stuff comes down to skill and practice in a lot of ways. He would probably be great at strongman type stuff if he was interested.
OMG- BAW HA HA HA HA- you're right- I totally skimmed back to make sure I didn't read it wrong- and man- I was wrong. I did look again at "husband" since I normally say hubs.
SNORT!
that's hysterical. whoops.
BUT- ironically I have a similar problem- mine doesn't workout- but he's annoying b/c he used to do MT and if we scrap he always beats me- it's super annoying. He lives on chicken fingers and fries. #stabby.
Hahaha... You're good
We'll be married two years in August and we've been together over 5 years. (that makes me feel old!!!)
"Husband" is still a weird phrase. I was never really one to say things like "my boyfriend" either (I'm not sure I ever even referred to him that way... Maybe I'm a big kitten
) He's just always been my "person."
The other day I was telling him about how I'm going to clean up my diet and I bought a rice cooker etc. and literally all he had to say was "I like rice." lol. (AKA "good for you, I support this" lol)
Now I want chicken fingers!!
ETA I apologize for excessive emojis. I realize I have a problem...
Old? Talk to me when you've been married 18+ years, together 20+, young whippersnapper.
3 -
heh- we are young pups. But I'll be happy with 10 years.
so far we are on track- I work all the time- he works a lot and I just don't wear pants at home and we eat a lot of steak when we go out to eat.
Seems to be working thus far- is that your secret?2 -
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLTresaAswegan wrote: »TresaAswegan wrote: »TresaAswegan wrote: »My gym is pretty small, the men around my age who lift there generally say they are there to "get them off the couch" and are not competitive (so not powerlifters, basically regular people who enjoy going to the gym). I will never be as strong as them, they bench press more than I squat.
I imagine when I ask for a spot they might think "wow I've never seen a girl at this gym lift that much" but it's nowhere near what they lift lol.
^ And I'd have to agree, asking for a spot can be a good way to strike up a conversation. Or ask if they're done using something, a question about their training, etc. It's pretty much the same as talking to men who aren't at the gym, except sweatier.
My husband doesn't lift and I do, but I'll gladly take him to the store with so he can carry the dog food and carry all the groceries in the house.
I had no idea you were married. I don't ever recall you mentioning this before.
eta: Not that I think you need to tell anyone - just kinda funny that I've seen you post for a while and today had a "wait, what?" moment.
September so I'm still fresh meat. It's why there was a good 6 months I really wasn't on the forums- I was still logging - but I wasn't really posting. I was sort of doing that whole "plan a giant expensive party" thing.
It's still weird to say "husband"- I'm not used to it at all. But yep- old married and irrelevant/off the old meat market.
I think he meant me haha.
I think I've mentioned it before on threads like "my significant other isn't into fitness/etc" type posts? I tend to try and keep my personal life off the interwebs though.
Like I said he doesn't lift and is not into fitness-y stuff at all so I guess he doesn't come up when it comes to lifting posts haha. (We don't really eat together very often either. He lives on cheese and ramen noodles by choice and I guess that's fine lol.) He loves to remind me that he will always kick my butt when it comes to things like pull ups and non-gym lifting. Gym stuff comes down to skill and practice in a lot of ways. He would probably be great at strongman type stuff if he was interested.
OMG- BAW HA HA HA HA- you're right- I totally skimmed back to make sure I didn't read it wrong- and man- I was wrong. I did look again at "husband" since I normally say hubs.
SNORT!
that's hysterical. whoops.
BUT- ironically I have a similar problem- mine doesn't workout- but he's annoying b/c he used to do MT and if we scrap he always beats me- it's super annoying. He lives on chicken fingers and fries. #stabby.
Hahaha... You're good
We'll be married two years in August and we've been together over 5 years. (that makes me feel old!!!)
"Husband" is still a weird phrase. I was never really one to say things like "my boyfriend" either (I'm not sure I ever even referred to him that way... Maybe I'm a big kitten ) He's just always been my "person."
The other day I was telling him about how I'm going to clean up my diet and I bought a rice cooker etc. and literally all he had to say was "I like rice." lol. (AKA "good for you, I support this" lol)
Now I want chicken fingers!!
ETA I apologize for excessive emojis. I realize I have a problem...
Old? Talk to me when you've been married 18+ years, together 20+, young whippersnapper.
Woo! I'm officially old!
(19 & 27 yrs.)
He's more of a pizza guy but I will never turn down steak. (We watched a movie last year that was mostly forgettable other than having a scene set in a restaurant called Steak and Cake. I still think that would be a great place to eat.)0 -
no way get rid of the girly like man and get a man that can hang with you in the gym to make work out more interresting.0
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like a dude saying I only wanna date women with BIG (fill in the blank)... this is a non-issue...1
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLTresaAswegan wrote: »TresaAswegan wrote: »TresaAswegan wrote: »My gym is pretty small, the men around my age who lift there generally say they are there to "get them off the couch" and are not competitive (so not powerlifters, basically regular people who enjoy going to the gym). I will never be as strong as them, they bench press more than I squat.
I imagine when I ask for a spot they might think "wow I've never seen a girl at this gym lift that much" but it's nowhere near what they lift lol.
^ And I'd have to agree, asking for a spot can be a good way to strike up a conversation. Or ask if they're done using something, a question about their training, etc. It's pretty much the same as talking to men who aren't at the gym, except sweatier.
My husband doesn't lift and I do, but I'll gladly take him to the store with so he can carry the dog food and carry all the groceries in the house.
I had no idea you were married. I don't ever recall you mentioning this before.
eta: Not that I think you need to tell anyone - just kinda funny that I've seen you post for a while and today had a "wait, what?" moment.
September so I'm still fresh meat. It's why there was a good 6 months I really wasn't on the forums- I was still logging - but I wasn't really posting. I was sort of doing that whole "plan a giant expensive party" thing.
It's still weird to say "husband"- I'm not used to it at all. But yep- old married and irrelevant/off the old meat market.
I think he meant me haha.
I think I've mentioned it before on threads like "my significant other isn't into fitness/etc" type posts? I tend to try and keep my personal life off the interwebs though.
Like I said he doesn't lift and is not into fitness-y stuff at all so I guess he doesn't come up when it comes to lifting posts haha. (We don't really eat together very often either. He lives on cheese and ramen noodles by choice and I guess that's fine lol.) He loves to remind me that he will always kick my butt when it comes to things like pull ups and non-gym lifting. Gym stuff comes down to skill and practice in a lot of ways. He would probably be great at strongman type stuff if he was interested.
OMG- BAW HA HA HA HA- you're right- I totally skimmed back to make sure I didn't read it wrong- and man- I was wrong. I did look again at "husband" since I normally say hubs.
SNORT!
that's hysterical. whoops.
BUT- ironically I have a similar problem- mine doesn't workout- but he's annoying b/c he used to do MT and if we scrap he always beats me- it's super annoying. He lives on chicken fingers and fries. #stabby.
Hahaha... You're good
We'll be married two years in August and we've been together over 5 years. (that makes me feel old!!!)
"Husband" is still a weird phrase. I was never really one to say things like "my boyfriend" either (I'm not sure I ever even referred to him that way... Maybe I'm a big kitten ) He's just always been my "person."
The other day I was telling him about how I'm going to clean up my diet and I bought a rice cooker etc. and literally all he had to say was "I like rice." lol. (AKA "good for you, I support this" lol)
Now I want chicken fingers!!
ETA I apologize for excessive emojis. I realize I have a problem...
Old? Talk to me when you've been married 18+ years, together 20+, young whippersnapper.
Haha I know it's not that long, but I'm only 23! 5 years is a good fraction of my short life 0 -
Just going back to the OP's original post...I'm likely stronger than a large percentage of men at my gym due to how I train. This does not seem to stop any of them from trying to sneak a peek at my butt or developed shoulders.
You'd have to be abnormally strong and the man abnormally insecure for this to be a major dating issue.0 -
Since I started lifting and my physique changed, I found my preference in a mans physique changed....meaning I am interested in semi-fit men. They don't HAVE to lift. But they almost have to be active and relatively fit.
I am a musician and date musicians though. It is very rare for me to find someone who understands both sides. I dated someone from my gym and it was horrible. I'll date a musician and they don't understand what the heck I'm doing with my food and gym time and get frustrated.
I am MOST definitely not afraid of being stronger than a man. This is my life.2 -
I lift, my husband doesn't. It's not a big deal. He's awesome and treats me with respect. We have interests in common but lifting isn't one of them. I don't mind. Now that we have a kid I have little (no) privacy and lifting is all mine.
He is still stronger than me, though. I mean, we don't challenge each other to lifting competitions but when we work around the house it's clear that he has an advantage. I just look like I lift
On the other side comments-we were together for 11 yrs before marrying. We called each other "partners" or amorous co-mortgagors1 -
Since I started lifting and my physique changed, I found my preference in a mans physique changed....meaning I am interested in semi-fit men. They don't HAVE to lift. But they almost have to be active and relatively fit.
I am a musician and date musicians though. It is very rare for me to find someone who understands both sides. I dated someone from my gym and it was horrible. I'll date a musician and they don't understand what the heck I'm doing with my food and gym time and get frustrated.
I am MOST definitely not afraid of being stronger than a man. This is my life.
I'm a lifting musician too! Haha... I started lifting seriously after starting to date my now husband (non musician).... You're right though, musicians don't get it much. I never really dated musicians - - I didn't want to talk music alllll the time!0 -
I'm stronger than all the men weaker than me.6
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livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Since I started lifting and my physique changed, I found my preference in a mans physique changed....meaning I am interested in semi-fit men. They don't HAVE to lift. But they almost have to be active and relatively fit.
I am a musician and date musicians though. It is very rare for me to find someone who understands both sides. I dated someone from my gym and it was horrible. I'll date a musician and they don't understand what the heck I'm doing with my food and gym time and get frustrated.
I am MOST definitely not afraid of being stronger than a man. This is my life.
I'm a lifting musician too! Haha... I started lifting seriously after starting to date my now husband (non musician).... You're right though, musicians don't get it much. I never really dated musicians - - I didn't want to talk music alllll the time!
I like dating musicians. GOOD ones. I have to like their music. It's so nice to wake up late on Sunday mornings, drink coffee, and play music together.
I'm seeing someone now who runs marathons and lifts, though differently than I. He is also a musician and a high end vintage guitar dealer. It's bliss. And he cooks me steamed veggies and asks if whatever else he is going to make will fit my macros for the day
5 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Since I started lifting and my physique changed, I found my preference in a mans physique changed....meaning I am interested in semi-fit men. They don't HAVE to lift. But they almost have to be active and relatively fit.
I am a musician and date musicians though. It is very rare for me to find someone who understands both sides. I dated someone from my gym and it was horrible. I'll date a musician and they don't understand what the heck I'm doing with my food and gym time and get frustrated.
I am MOST definitely not afraid of being stronger than a man. This is my life.
I'm a lifting musician too! Haha... I started lifting seriously after starting to date my now husband (non musician).... You're right though, musicians don't get it much. I never really dated musicians - - I didn't want to talk music alllll the time!
I like dating musicians. GOOD ones. I have to like their music. It's so nice to wake up late on Sunday mornings, drink coffee, and play music together.
I'm seeing someone now who runs marathons and lifts, though differently than I. He is also a musician and a high end vintage guitar dealer. It's bliss. And he cooks me steamed veggies and asks if whatever else he is going to make will fit my macros for the day
Ohhh keep him!!0 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Since I started lifting and my physique changed, I found my preference in a mans physique changed....meaning I am interested in semi-fit men. They don't HAVE to lift. But they almost have to be active and relatively fit.
I am a musician and date musicians though. It is very rare for me to find someone who understands both sides. I dated someone from my gym and it was horrible. I'll date a musician and they don't understand what the heck I'm doing with my food and gym time and get frustrated.
I am MOST definitely not afraid of being stronger than a man. This is my life.
I'm a lifting musician too! Haha... I started lifting seriously after starting to date my now husband (non musician).... You're right though, musicians don't get it much. I never really dated musicians - - I didn't want to talk music alllll the time!
I like dating musicians. GOOD ones. I have to like their music. It's so nice to wake up late on Sunday mornings, drink coffee, and play music together.
I'm seeing someone now who runs marathons and lifts, though differently than I. He is also a musician and a high end vintage guitar dealer. It's bliss. And he cooks me steamed veggies and asks if whatever else he is going to make will fit my macros for the day
Ohhh keep him!!
We'll see.1 -
If it was obvious, you wouldn't have to say it. ;-)I'm female obviously.
Here's a crazy idea:I recently started strength training after making tons of excuses not to haha. Guess what? I love it!!! LOVE it! It feels great and I'm looking great, and I love the whole lifestyle!
However, I do have this nagging fear of like, being stronger than men. Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool? Because personally, I wouldn't want to date a man weaker than me.
...
I know people will call me superficial but I can't help but love a big strong man. it's some primal instinct in me.
Now that you're lifting, maybe you should give up the silly notion that men should be strong (and corresponding implied notion that women should be weak). Sounds like you were always looking for a strong man, and there's nothing wrong with having that preference, but the fact that you're getting strong now too changes NOTHING, and there's nothing wrong with being stronger than your strong man, either.
7 -
and here I'm doing everything I can to get stronger than the men around me in the gym! it actually hurts my heart when I'm incline benching 45lbs dumbbells thinking I'm the strongest thing around and a guy sits down next to me and starts doing 100's.
OP, if you are still around, trust me - unless you are on the best steroids out there, you don't need to worry about being stronger than all the men around you!1 -
OP, just came across your workout on another thread....not sure if you were trolling on this thread or what, but you can't possibly think your 5lbs arm curls or 10lbs shoulder press are more than most men can do??
Reps x sets
Abductor (the opening and closing thighs machine) - 70 lbs 8 x 3
Arm curl - 5 lbs 5 x 3
Total abdominal (ab curl machine) - 40 lbs 5 x 3
Low row - 50 lbs 5 x 3
Shoulder press - 10 lbs 5 x 1
Chest press - 30 lbs 5 x 3
Leg curl - 40 lbs 5 x 3
Arm extension - 30 lbs 5 x 3
Body masters (idk what this machine is called, basically the row but you pull up and down instead of straight toward your chest) - 60 lbs 5 x 3
Seated row - 50 lbs 5 x 3
Leg press - 160 lbs 5 x 37 -
Muscleflex79 wrote: »OP, just came across your workout on another thread....not sure if you were trolling on this thread or what, but you can't possibly think your 5lbs arm curls or 10lbs shoulder press are more than most men can do??
Reps x sets
Abductor (the opening and closing thighs machine) - 70 lbs 8 x 3
Arm curl - 5 lbs 5 x 3
Total abdominal (ab curl machine) - 40 lbs 5 x 3
Low row - 50 lbs 5 x 3
Shoulder press - 10 lbs 5 x 1
Chest press - 30 lbs 5 x 3
Leg curl - 40 lbs 5 x 3
Arm extension - 30 lbs 5 x 3
Body masters (idk what this machine is called, basically the row but you pull up and down instead of straight toward your chest) - 60 lbs 5 x 3
Seated row - 50 lbs 5 x 3
Leg press - 160 lbs 5 x 3
5lbs curls and 10lbs shoulder press are less than most women can do.
Not necessarily less than most women do do. Mostly because misinformation.
3
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