What do you want your death certificate to say?
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Your time is coming too0
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Age at death - 99 (and then with some kind of 99 Red Balloons tie in at the funeral)
Cause of Death - Death by Misadventure (which actually exists - at least it used to)
Death by Misadventure just makes it sound like something super fun was happening when it happened (even if that isn't really the case).1 -
You're next0
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dyed with respect0
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It was an accident...probably.0
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Missed out on what could've been0
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Spontaneous human combustion!
(He always thought he was hot stuff)1 -
"Consciousness successfully uploaded. Discarding biological shell."1
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This monkey's gone to heaven...0
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She died while sky diving, strapped tandem and naked to Ryan Reynolds while eating chocolate4
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I hope mine will read "Died the luckiest guy on the planet"1
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What was that all about?0
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My death certificate should indicate that I smothered between a pair of breasts, 36 C or larger.
My tombstone should read "Now what?" (I figure when I go, either I'm gonna be pleasantly surprised, or I'm not...)1 -
Lived like a movie star, partied like a rock star, and *kitten* like a porn star1
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Cause of death: sexual intercourse at an age deemed inappropriate for healthy sex.0
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Cause of death: sexual intercourse at an age deemed inappropriate for healthy sex.
Is there an age at which sex becomes inappropriate?? Oh, I hope not...
Woody Allen said, “In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!”2
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