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Runners that need some nutritional accountability

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  • AvidkeoAvidkeo Member, Premium Posts: 2,983 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,983 Member
    Thanks guys. I feel like a huge weight off me today, knowing I wasn't going to be seeing him again. I didn't realise how much anxiety I was feeling.

    I kinda blew up at DH this morning because he made a comment to me: he "couldn't understand why I would get myself into that position". Well as someone who had been abused as a 13yr old where the same manipulation tactics were used, that was the worst thing he could say to me. And this morning my fear, embarrassment, anxiety and shock boiled into a throw down angry yelling session about how offensive and hurtful what he said was. He still didn't get it. A lovely lady at work reminded me that men don't get it, and they arent raises the same as women. Well he got pizza for dinner because he thought I would like it. So I think he feels bad. Not bad enough to apologise (sigh) but it's something. And I'm letting it go. I guess it's nice he doesn't get it?

  • AvidkeoAvidkeo Member, Premium Posts: 2,983 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,983 Member
    @quilteryoyo glad you had a good day
  • quilteryoyoquilteryoyo Member Posts: 3,636 Member Member Posts: 3,636 Member
    Thanks @Avidkeo . Glad you are able to "let it go." Also glad you did tell him how what he said made you feel. It may help him to give pause before saying something similar again.
  • RunsOnEspressoRunsOnEspresso Member, Premium Posts: 2,943 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,943 Member
    Sadly, most men won't get it. The thing is women are raised to be kind and polite to everyone. We are raised to obey our elders etc. It's what's expected of girls and women in patriarchal society. To be docile. To be agreeable. To be there for men to look at, have, possess.


    To quote my favorite murder, *kitten* politeness.

    To quote the viral tiktok to the tune of if you're happy and you know it
    Don't be polite to men who creep you out ​👏🏻👏🏻


    And sometimes when *kitten* happens it shocks us that we don't know how to react so we don't. Or we revert to that be polite to everyone. And that's ok too. It's a trauma response.

    You did nothing wrong. The old man did. He knew exactly what he was doing. He was a creepy old man trying to manipulate you and getting what he wanted at your expense.

    And your husband is being a butt. 😉
  • swenson19dswenson19d Member Posts: 434 Member Member Posts: 434 Member
    Avidkeo wrote: »
    Thanks guys. I feel like a huge weight off me today, knowing I wasn't going to be seeing him again. I didn't realise how much anxiety I was feeling.

    I kinda blew up at DH this morning because he made a comment to me: he "couldn't understand why I would get myself into that position". Well as someone who had been abused as a 13yr old where the same manipulation tactics were used, that was the worst thing he could say to me. And this morning my fear, embarrassment, anxiety and shock boiled into a throw down angry yelling session about how offensive and hurtful what he said was. He still didn't get it. A lovely lady at work reminded me that men don't get it, and they arent raises the same as women. Well he got pizza for dinner because he thought I would like it. So I think he feels bad. Not bad enough to apologise (sigh) but it's something. And I'm letting it go. I guess it's nice he doesn't get it?

    We have the same argument, DH does not understand why or even how this or that is offensive to a woman or the vigilance and caution a woman has to take just parking at the park, the store or at even at work. Walk through life knowing you are prey to pervs, and there is an air of acceptance among society, because "boys will be boys". You did right, take the time to show your DH and find ways to educate your kids. I tend to think guys are my friends then am surprised and hurt when I find they had an ulterior motive. It happens. I try to stick to female relationships now.
  • AvidkeoAvidkeo Member, Premium Posts: 2,983 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,983 Member
    Thanks guys. I had a conversation with a lady at work who basically said the exact same thing. It's reassuring to know I'm not alone.

    I'm confident DH knows he was in the wrong. He is a man of actions not words. Last night he got pizza for dinner and made a point of telling the kids it was for me because he thought I might like pizza. He's been affectionate but not forcing anything. He giving me space and being deferential - checking in and stuff. But no I'm sorry. He's not one to say it. Annoying but I need to recognise his actions. Actions speak louder than words right.

  • quilteryoyoquilteryoyo Member Posts: 3,636 Member Member Posts: 3,636 Member
    I was actually pleasantly surprised by my weight this morning. Yes, I am up 3 pounds over the last two weeks, but was actually down from yesterday. I'm not sure how that happened, but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth. I know that a lot of this is water retention, from eating way more salt than I normally do and just eating differently. I have lots of left overs I hate to waste, so will still be eating abnormally for a few more days. Still, I'm not worried and hope that getting back into my running routine will help take are of part of it anyway. As long as I don't continue to go up, I'll be fine.

    We have our modified Relay For Life event today. I am on the "committee" so will be helping with that today. We are having a cancer survivor parade and then a drive through to look at the luminaria in honor of or in memory of those who have/had cancer. I'll be helping to set everything up and tear it down after 10pm, so will be a long night. My day today will consist of getting my own luminaria decorated. They'll be simple this year, since time is limited.

    Dreading Father's Day tomorrow. Hoping it will be better than expected.
  • shanabershanaber Member Posts: 6,048 Member Member Posts: 6,048 Member
    Hello all -
    I was feeling pretty frustrated with my arm last week and then my dd came on Friday so I haven't taken time to post for a while. Going back a bit to respond...
    @Avidkeo - that is just awful about that guy and what he was doing. So sick! I am sorry dh was so bad about it but as others have said guys just don't get it. I hope the pizza was tasty!
    The kereru is beautiful!

    Did you all know that domestic cats are one of the biggest impacts to the decreasing wild bird populations? Around here but cats left outside become coyote bait. People are always posting on the local neighborhood boards about their cats getting taken by coyotes.

    @cmorning99 - I hope everything worked out for you to get your house and that everything gets moved in today!
    @quilteryoyo - I hope the rest of the family visit went well! is everything back to normal for you now? I love luminaries. We used to set them up in our entire neighborhood on Christmas Eve. Everyone park their cars in their garages or at the church and people would get out to just walk and enjoy the lights. Eventually word got out about it and people from other areas started driving thru to see them too.

    I have really been enjoying having dd home. She is a whirlwind though! She has a good friend from college whose husband has advanced colon cancer (he is only in his mid-30's!) and she wanted to make food and take it to them. So as soon as she got here we headed to the grocery store after In-N-Out for dinner and she started cooking. While she delivered the food on Saturday I cleaned the kitchen and then she came home to bbq'd Nuremberg sausages and salad. We had bbq steaks for Father's Day dinner and my BIL joined us. Dd grilled broccolini and made delicious green beans with mushrooms and garlic, so good! She also made a flourless chocolate cake that we covered in fresh strawberries for dessert.
    Oh and not to forget lunch yesterday... there is a wonderful little taqueria walking distance from our house that I intentionally avoid (they make fresh tortillas as things are ordered). Dd wanted to go there for lunch. I had a chicken sope and we split a chicken taco - it was just so much food and we each have a taco left over. Dh didn't want us to bring him anything but ended up joining in our feast. She and I also go a nice walk in but I am sure I will have gained a bit. Not going to worry about it though, just enjoying being with her.

    Arm is doing ok. I am trying not to use it much and then I do something without thinking and it hurts. I have pretty much convinced myself that the MRI is not going to show anything but dd is convinced I am going to need surgery. MRI is tomorrow morning and she is heading home tomorrow afternoon. Today is dog beach, followed by mani/pedi then to the outlets for some mom and daughter shopping therapy.
  • quilteryoyoquilteryoyo Member Posts: 3,636 Member Member Posts: 3,636 Member
    @shanaber Glad you are having such a great time with DD! Sorry to hear about her college friend's husband though. That's so hard and sad. Food sounds great, and, like you said, no worries. Just enjoy the time spent with DD and worry about any weight gain later. I was pleasantly surprised that my weight didn't really go up much at all with 2 weeks of horrible eating and little exercise. I hope your MRI gives you some answers. It's hard to remember to not use a portion of your body until you do and then realize it hurts. Enjoy the rest of her visit!

    I am back to normal now. All company is gone. I am currently watching the kids sleep - working the 6:30-3:30 shift today. Hope to get in a run when I get home.
  • AvidkeoAvidkeo Member, Premium Posts: 2,983 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,983 Member
    @shanaber good luck with the MRI.

    Well one good thing about the dodgy guy is its forced me to get my bike out again. Its cold atm (middle of winter) and so far it's not too bad but haven't had much wind yet. One drawback, I have one very steep hill I go down and up each way. Tonight I was just so tired after work I ended up walking it. But it's only 10mins to work and I get to park right outside the entrance. The parking is so bad now (building has started) that parking on the street is so bad I would have a 10 min walk to work anyway
  • quilteryoyoquilteryoyo Member Posts: 3,636 Member Member Posts: 3,636 Member
    @Avidkeo Except for the fact that it is winter, that sounds like it worked out for the best. I feel you on that hill - I could never bike up anything very steep.
  • swenson19dswenson19d Member Posts: 434 Member Member Posts: 434 Member
    @shanaber MRI results yet?

    @Avidkeo You keep trying to tackle that hill on the bike. You'll get strong enough to ride the whole thing and become a stronger runner. or you could look at putting a small motor on it. It'd double as a bike/motorbike.

    My EMG got moved up! yay! Tomorrow!

    The disparity in health care...
    Dh went to the doc yesterday complaining about tingling in his hands and feet. I told him to ask about having his vitamin D checked, we both have been inside since COVID and since I am not running we aren't out together. His Doc was all over it, wanting to run 100 tests (not the vit D though, he thought that wasn't a thing... ). MRI, EMG, blood work... What? I complained about pain, jerks, odd sensations and I get blood work and get off the antidepressant even though it started before the antidepressant. man... more women need to be doc's, more women need to be everything and we need to take over everything.

    IDk why dh and I got on the subject...
    I made a remark about how I'd like to have about 10 acres and a 125 dirt bike. I have been dirt bike shopping... LOL! 125 to a 400 Dual (road and trail). I had a 250 trail bike... I don't think I wanna 400 trail bike, that's just too much but I could ride it to school... But I wanna dirt bike. LOL! a 125 would be so much fun romping some little hills. 400 not so much, not so nimble with my weak A.

    beary...
    knows the word "snake" now. He headed to the bushes last night and I said "there might be a snake in there". He quickly turned around. Beary got spooked when Cori chased a spider up the trunk of the bush, and ran away and hid behind me, good boy. Hopefully that's the last snake bit we have.

    Hair cut Thursday. I just can't stand the longer hair anymore.

    Im still fat.
    ugh... I hope its PMS, but I did eat 3 pizzas and ice cream. so serves me right, eh?

    you know how giddy I'd be with a bike? gah... a reason to live? yaaaassss! Maybe Dh will buy 2 and we can go to the riding park together... DD wants a 4 wheeler. LOL! aw it'd be fun. I kinda miss those days.

    I have appt with psychologist via telemedicine next week.
  • swenson19dswenson19d Member Posts: 434 Member Member Posts: 434 Member
    Look at this bike... aint it beautiful?
    https://suzukicycles.com/dualsport/2020/dr-z400s
    nv0gbirrl8uh.png
    edited June 22
  • quilteryoyoquilteryoyo Member Posts: 3,636 Member Member Posts: 3,636 Member
    @Avidkeo I'm not into bikes, but it does look nice. Hope there is nothing major wrong with your DH. Glad your EMG was moved up and hope it gives you some answers. Fingers crossed that Beary has learned his lesson with the snakes.
  • rheddmobilerheddmobile Member Posts: 6,352 Member Member Posts: 6,352 Member
    So totally off topic but I found out I probably have a previously unknown half-uncle today. A lady contacted me through ancestry DNA because she was confused why she matches my family. Turns out my paternal grandfather (now deceased) went to high school with the person she believed was her paternal grandfather and lived next door to his family during the time her father was born. She doesn’t match any of her supposed paternal grandfather’s family and does match me, my two half-sisters and half-brother, and my paternal uncle as close relatives, plus people all the way up my grandfather’s line. It seems, based on circumstantial evidence plus the amount of DNA shared, that we are half first cousins. Also the years match up to the time period after my grandfather’s first wife, my grandmother, died, and before he married his second wife.

    This isn’t the first interesting event I’ve found through Ancestry DNA - you just never know what’s going to pop up! In this case her father and both the people he believed to be his parents are all deceased so there’s no one with strong feelings about the situation, and also no one to ask uncomfortable questions. But I have been witness to several situations where someone’s true parentage wasn’t what they thought and it blew up their life. Never ask questions unless you are sure you want answers.
  • shanabershanaber Member Posts: 6,048 Member Member Posts: 6,048 Member
    @avidkeo - glad the ride to work worked out so well. I guess as long as you can manage it with the winter weather it is a good option. I agree with @swenson19d that if you keep up on the hill eventually you will be flying up and over it both ways and stronger as a result!
    @swenson19d - MRI was this morning, so no results yet. It hurt but mostly because I had to have my arm in a position that it didn't like and I was all squished up kinda sorta on my side.
    Glad Beary is being more cautious about snakes and things.
    That dirt bike looks like fun and trouble rolled into one! My brother used to have a big Triumph that he would take me out on. It was too big/too heavy for me to ride alone but it was so fun to ride with him. We were out where there wasn't much traffic then. I would never want to ride one here in the LA area - just too dangerous with all the crazy drivers.
    @rheddmobile - we thought about that when we did the DNA testing but there have been no real surprises. My brother's daughter that he is estranged from popped up but that is all. I actually used it as a way to send her a message that I have pictures of her as a child with her mom that I would like to send her if she wants them. I haven't heard back so I guess not. They moved away when she was in HS I think and she hasn't spoken to my brother since. My dad and stepmom adored her and spent lots of time caring for her and she walked away from them too, which surprised me.

    Hoping to get the MRI results tomorrow. Figuring it will probably not show anything and then 🤷‍♀️ Arm seems fine until I turn it a certain way or try to turn a door knob or lift something I shouldn't. Maybe it will just take time. I need to run though... and want to get back to strength training.
    Dd went back to Seattle today. We had a great visit though we didn't get in all the things we wanted to do. Some of the boxes we pulled down in the garage when I hurt my arm, were her childhood things and we spent time today going thru some of it. I was a bit surprised at what she remembered (and didn't) and how much she wanted to keep.
    I got dh a new waffle iron for Father's Day and while I was getting the MRI they made waffles. I have a good recipe using leftover sourdough starter and OMG they were so fluffy and delicious with the new waffle iron. I had leftover strawberries too so it was a feast. Oh and she made scrambled eggs with the leftover Nuremberg sausage to go with the waffles. Salads for dinner tonight and back to more normal foods tomorrow. I haven't weighed but I am sure I am up from water retention alone so we'll see. I don't usually weigh in until Friday or Saturday and I haven't decided yet if I want to know before then.
  • quilteryoyoquilteryoyo Member Posts: 3,636 Member Member Posts: 3,636 Member
    @rheddmobile I have not done the DNA test, but agree that you need to be ready for what pops up if you do. I know of a lady who did it and found out that the person she thought was her father wasn't, but a friend of the family was. I know this person and he said everyone had suspected it all along (she looks like him), so it wasn't too big of a shock. They hang out and now call each other dad and daughter. I also know someone who apparently had 2 kids due to an affair that the family knew about, but he refuses to acknowledge them. But, the rest of the family are in contact with the new found relatives. It is interesting what pops up.

    @shanaber So glad you had a nice visit with DD. Hope the MRI shows something, so you will know where to go from here.
  • swenson19dswenson19d Member Posts: 434 Member Member Posts: 434 Member
    @rheddmobile That is really cool to have a relative pop up! I've done My Heritage and haven't had any surprises. DH said I should so Ancestry. I have a half sister out there somewhere. I messaged an Aunt yesterday and no word. I think my dad's side denies my existence. LOL!

    Dirt bike...
    Well, dh is a bummer. He'd get me one that was $500... no way man, I am not spending my days keeping some crap heap running. So, guess that's out. poo.

    @shanaber your food sounds good. I gave dd the login to Walmart and let her know she could make an order. She'll do better than dh with frozen pizza and popsicles. Looking back at stuff with my dd, I was surprised what she didn't remember too. She remembered stuff I sure didn't. We use to sit on the bed and draw together each taking a turn to add to it. I have one framed. We'd also draw on the bed mattress (was old), and put secrets in code and laugh about boys. She was prob 10-11. I was kinda hurt she didn't remember any of that. I love waffles with all the butter. Hope the MRI comes back soon. Mine usually took a few days but weren't pressing like yours is.
    I dated a guy for a while that had an 883 and I'd ride it. He wanted something bigger and was going to sell it to me but then reneged . I found out yesterday that the died of covid on the 18th (wonder if I can have the bike now LOL). I don't mind the bikes. My dad took me for rides a lot. I have a good helmet and it calms me, I thought perhaps I should wear it more often haha ! I don't care much for road bikes though. love me a dirt bike.
  • swenson19dswenson19d Member Posts: 434 Member Member Posts: 434 Member
    EMG and NCS normal.
    Such a long day yesterday. I was up at 430 and the EMG appointment was so long. 230-5. Plus the 2.5 hour drive one way... And I'm up again at 430. Love those cats. I escorted them all outside and sat with them, making sure no one was coyote breakfast or snake bit. I don't have a follow up with the neurologist. I guess Ill send a message and ask if I need one or just "everything is fine". Which I am okay with. Everything has calmed down since adding the vitamin D.

    Skin cancer was just a keratosis and I opted to just leave it. Still cost me $40. oh well, glad it's nothing.

    Hair cut today! yay. I straightened my hair yesterday and it's not bad at all. Definitely easier to deal with versus letting it go wild. So I am second guessing the shorter cut today. I really hate taking the time to straighten it though.

    Cori shenanigans
    We have a mama bird on the back porch, she's been here for 3 years (seasons). He was obsessed with getting her yesterday. I suspect the chicks have hatched. Come dark, when it's time to come in, he yeowls at the door. Dh yells at him, I ignore him, Bear jumps on him LOL! Beary got through to him. So he's daddy bear instead of brother bear now.

    nuisance vent
    we had the ashes request a few weeks back and dd said something on FB about, "just FYI it is rude to ask a family for ashes if you have no relation to them". I agreed with it publicly. The requestor sent me a message stating that if it was a problem I should have said something since we are all adults... I did. ya? I believe it is in writing... No I didn't even respond to it. Some day she will understand.
    I don't know, perhaps its a thing and not overt selfish rudeness? nah, rude. DD mentioned this person needed a poo pie, like from The Help. LOL! I had the exact thought the other day. It must have come from Alex.

    @shanaber Hope MRI news comes soon.

    @rheddmobile How's the madre doing?

    @quilteryoyo Your Father's Day turn out okay (-ish)? I let Alex's birthday go by "fine", but the anniversary of the death was horribly hard.

    @CMorning99 Still adapting to the move? Black kitty doing okay?

    @RunsOnEspresso Diet/food under control? I keep starting over each day. Hopefully small improvements along the way.

    @Avidkeo Tracking on the package yet, is it in New Zealand? Dh said I have to renew my passport so we can come over. But also mentions "we" need to stop spending money... he bought a trail camera so he can watch the woods... I don't think it was free... so, who is spending money? LOL!
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