Less Alcohol- July 2018- One Day at a Time
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@donimfp Thank you for your response. I never actually checked it out, I just "assumed" & you know what "they" say about THAT!!
I'm doing good so far with the support on here & some of the resources that others have so kindly shared & compiled. I really think I'm at the place I need to be in my mind for this change in my life, BUT am going to check it out & see if our area has a female only group. It's just a good thing to know. Another resource if necessary at some point.
I'm not so sure I buy into the "powerless over alcohol" philosophy either. Except I feel, for me, that it is true that once the alcohol passes my lips, I want more. But I do have the power to not drink!! It is a choice that I am able to make at this point so I feel I'm taking my power back by abstaining. I could think I'm powerless over alcohol but I choose to think differently because rather than setting myself up to be a "victim" of something beyond my control, I am empowering myself to take control.
Everyone is doing such a great job of welcoming all the newbies that I haven't bothered SO welcome, welcome, welcome to all the newbies to our awesome group!!!6 -
UPDATE: Yes, there is a meeting for women only in our area. One close by & one not so close by. Thanks @salleewins for your reply also.
Hope everyone has a lovely day
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If you are able to do your abstaining without AA, great. I personally like the group support of it and the accountability and support of a sponsor to bounce my struggles off of etc. I can call others and my sponsor and they can call me if someone wants to drink to stave it off (your sponsor will call their sponsor however and not you). I have found the meetings that I like and a sponsor that I like. I have canned 2 sponsors before. AA is not perfect, but It is perfect enough for what I need it to be. I choose to go to AA, like I choose to meet with the personal trainer for accountability with my diet and exercise at the gym. Sometimes we just were not meant to go at it alone to get these healthy goals accomplished.7
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erikNJ I understand the literal meanings and I support anyone who is making an effort no matter the level of success I just wanted to point out somewhat that possibly drinking less and moderation may not be the same thing.
There were times I drank less but alcohol still had an unshakeable hold on my life. I knew at all times how much alcohol I had in my house and I made sure that if I was away on vacation or for a weekend I didn't come home empty handed if I wasn't sure there was enough to drink at home. I could get by with less but tried to make sure I didn't have to.
Sometimes we might hide behind moderation to our detriment
I think continued posting in this thread means the person is not being complacent. If a goal never works, doesn't work well, or stop working answers are sought. Getting it wrong and making mistakes can just be a necessary part of the journey.
I also think one of the reasons some people who choose moderation continue to post here is to occasionally ask themselves if they are okay. I, personally, continue to post here because I love the people and I have yet to really get comfortable with my present situation. I am not even ready to ask if I am okay yet, not really.
Good insight. Moderation is just not easy to define in lifestyle changes like this. But having a support group to share mistakes and victories is what is keeping us going strong.
I actually do feel comfortable in my current situation. But I also know that this group has been a big part of why I have stayed strong for 7 months. Being able to come here and read stories and sometimes share my own is a part of keeping me on this track.
And yea, loving the people here is a good reason to come back as well 8 -
WinoGelato wrote: »I’m pretty proud of myself - we had a school committee meeting at a brewery and I drank water! Partly because it wasn’t on my plan to drink tonight and partly because I have a late night work call with Asia, but it was my first time going to a bar and just ordering water since starting in this group. Probably my only time other than being pregnant, to be honest!
Isn’t that first time a strange yet empowering feeling? I remember the first time I had to do that I was so worried I was gonna get made fun of - of course it being with a bunch of beer industry guys had my nerves even worse. But I just did it, and I wasn’t judged. And even as I started getting questioned sometimes I had the confidence to explain it with no worries. Now I hardly ever order a beer on work lunches. Countless occasions at bars every month where I just get water.
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Good morning friends ! I Read some of the big book yesterday. All this knowledge sure cant hurt; I also like the feeling of having a support group like YOU and now maybe I’ll form a bond with some AA members. Baby steps though. I felt very anxious and depressed yesterday; and yes @oprhia I probably do expect a lot from myself (perfectionist) based on my upbringing. Sometimes many of our issues stem from childhood and we have to break the thought patterns we developed decades ago.
@NovusDies You are probably spot on. I’m anxious if I don’t drink, because I yearn for the days when I could drink and stop. And I am anxious that I want to drink and then I’m anxious after I drink. I appreciate your words. I really do.
@erikNJ I love this thread too. And the people on here have influenced me positively in many ways. I am satisfied with how far you and I (and others) have come over the last six months. So much improvement.
@salleewins I can see the draw of AA. I know there is a group called “Women in sobriety” that exists but they dont have meetings in my town. I also saw on the schedule that AA women’s only exists like you said. I’m going to look for that. I have dipped my toe into AA and I think it will be a good support for me in general. Somewhere I can physically go to get a tune up (on my thinking).
I probably am not someone with a huge Alcohol problem but the warning signs are there, but since I now have a desire to be AF, I have magnified (like @orphia implied) my shortcomings in a way. I can now go many days with out Alcohol and feel fine, but I just want to prevent the occasional binge before i cause serious harm to myself or others.
Have a great days, friends! Xo7 -
@snoo61 I think it is smart to ask yourself if "this much" is more than you need or want. If nothing else it confirms that you are okay right now. I assume that for some people as the years go by that amount may change so asking yourself periodically is a wise course of action. I am leaving the door open but for now I am taking a wait and see approach because I am a little exhausted from the lengthy self-evaluation between May and June. Apparently even something like that should be done in moderation.
@eriknj It is funny how life can be messy. You are comfortable with how much you drink and I am uncomfortable because I stopped so abruptly without much resistance (at least on this leg of my journey). I know I should be happy but I am nagged by the old saying "if something seems to be too good to be true it usually is." My goal was never to accumulate AF days but I seem to be doing it. I think I am closing in on 80.6 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »UPDATE: Yes, there is a meeting for women only in our area. One close by & one not so close by. Thanks @salleewins for your reply also.
Hope everyone has a lovely day
Craig Beck is my go to guy for a reality check. I’m really happy for you. You have done so well! Xo1 -
@andysport1 I’m happy you found us. You have many good insights and you give us a boost of confidence with your words. Hope you are doing well on your journey.3
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Today I am praying for this poor woman. This song is beautiful and heartbreaking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z0Q2MrOtuE 4 -
I was curiously inspired by the convo yesterday about advertising. I usually hate that stuff. I listen to albums or podcasts. I stream tv or watch on dvr to skip the commercials. But i decided to take notice of everything i saw/heard yesterday.
For this I lumped all alcohol (beer, wine, hard liq) together and junk food (fast food, chain restaurants, soda, candy etc).
Some things seemed obvious, some shocking.
Radio ads were not as bad as I expected. 2 1/2 hrs in the car. Not ONE ad for alcohol. Only 3 ads for junk foods.
Espn: no surprise here that alcohol was advertised twice every commercial break. Sometimes the same ad twice. Usually beer. Male demo for sports.
Daytime tv, not sports related: a little mild here. An occasional ad for alcohol or junk food. Maybe once a commercial break.
This was the shocker to me. Prime time tv: an average of 4-5 ads for junkfood every single commercial break. I saw so many gross ads for burgers, pizza, pancakes etc over and over. Booze was occasional, not as much as you would think.
Billboards were odd. Didn’t see any for junk food or booze. I know that isn’t the norm. I did see three billboards for NJ produce! Go garden state!
Another shocker: big time presence for gambling/lottery on all formats. Not physically unhealthy but gambling addiction is a whole different topic.
Of course this is a small sample based on a day and a half in my personal life. But it was interesting to see. And now i’m ready to ignore these things again, haha7 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »@sallweewins AWESOME!!
@malliness I feel for you. I used to have panic attacks fairly regularly for a period of time. The first few times I thought I was dying. It totally confused me because the onset would usually be when the sun was setting & it was always in my own home...never out & about, in crowds or other common triggers. I had some help figuring out what was setting me off & listened to my gut when the adrenaline kicked in & I just wanted to run away. So whenever I would feel one coming on, I would begin to talk myself down & reassure myself that I wasn't dying & then set out for a very lengthy, quick paced walk to burn the adrenaline off.
Thanks for your support and also to others who commented. I was fine, woke up with a little jolt of anxiety at 4 am but it didn't last. That was the first night I haven't had a drink of some sort in at least a year. It's weird how I was so afraid to even try not drinking. I think saying your intention out loud, in a public forum, like this is helpful. So thanks again.10 -
@melliness congrats on day one!2
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Today's Sober School lists some books if interested. https://thesoberschool.com/books-about-sobriety/1
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@JenT304 I felt so badly for Demi when I heard about her overdose. I agree, I have much more empathy for people like Anthony Bourdain or other celebrities who have an addiction; yes, they have tons of money but that still doesn't help the problem. Xo5
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Yikes, I had no idea who Demi Lovato was until Jen’s post and I googled her.
She was in rehab at 18yrs old. Celebrated 6 years of sobriety in March. And then a month ago she released that Sober song, which is an apology to family and fans about not being sober anymore. And now this ... my heart goes out to her4 -
@melliness awesome ! Day 1 down. Now only think of Day 2. You can do it !3
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@erikNJ eye opening data ! I actually thought you'd see much more alcohol ads. Maybe I'm more conscious of it because the commercials catch my eye.
I've always been convinced the junk food companies must sprinkle some addictive powder into the food. Not sure if that's the case but.3 -
Julie, they do use all kinds of techniques to get you addicted to sugar. Read "Salt, Sugar, Fat." By Michael Moss. It was incredibly eye opening.3
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