Less Alcohol- July 2018- One Day at a Time
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I just found this discussion, and this is what I need. I can go AF for a few days, and I enjoy feeling healthy, strong, rested and clear headed. Then, I slip, and I don't know why. I look forward to giving and receiving support here.
Welcome, @hwg63 We look forward to having you around.1 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »Before bed, I went looking for an article about why my brain never lets me stop at one drink... this article enlightened me a little bit.
https://fit-recovery.com/top-reason-alcoholics-just-cant-stop-one-drink/
Good night, friends. Xo
I seemed to prioritise things in that order, with alcohol at the top, but I still had alarm bells go off after a couple of drinks and would stop before doing anything stupid or getting drunk.
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I just found this discussion, and this is what I need. I can go AF for a few days, and I enjoy feeling healthy, strong, rested and clear headed. Then, I slip, and I don't know why. I look forward to giving and receiving support here.
Welcome to our group! I'm glad you found us. There are lots of links, hints, and information on the first page. You will find lots of support here. Post when you can, or want to. Success and not so successful are shared, so feel free to share your journey with us.3 -
Thank you
I feel fine with my decision not to drink I guess I'm just a tad upset and wondering to myself am I not fun when I'm sober? Just kinda bugs me,,besides its too hot for a hangover! I was reading the blog "off dry" and they mentioned loving and taking care of the "tomorrow you" it resonates cuz we all know when you're wrapped up in drinks the night before it gets easy to forget how you'll feel the next day,bleh,will update how it went 
Sounds like the family would be drinking and under the influence, so how would they know if you are not fun while being sober?
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salleewins wrote: »Thank you I feel fine with my decision not to drink I guess I'm just a tad upset and wondering to myself am I not fun when I'm sober? Just kinda bugs me,,besides its too hot for a hangover! I was reading the blog "off dry" and they mentioned loving and taking care of the "tomorrow you" it resonates cuz we all know when you're wrapped up in drinks the night before it gets easy to forget how you'll feel the next day,bleh,will update how it went
Sounds like the family would be drinking and under the influence, so how would they know if you are not fun while being sober?
I'm wondering if she got upset because it might make her feel guilty about drinking too much.7 -
@JulieAL1969 Thank you for that reference. I can relate on some levels, but not to the extreme of the author's drinking. And I could stop at times or only drink the "planned" amount, but those were becoming fewer & farther between. I had more consequence-related drinking in years past especially teens & 20s. I should say, "obvious" consequences because my recent drinking was often done alone OR with other problem drinkers who were quite comfortable with my problem drinking causes it didn't highlight theirs'. The health & conscience consequences were my issue mainly especially in light of the fact that I progressed to a daily drinker.
I began to isolate my drinking more frequently because I didn't want to drink & drive...not than I hadn't done that in the past, but the GUILT & SHAME the next day ate me up so I opted to drink at home alone mostly or invite friends over...Anyway, I'm blabbing!!
@Orphia I'd say, "You owe me a beer" for thinking the exact same thing, but we're AF...LOL (not sure if you are familiar with that expression in your part of the world) I agree that @whitpauly could be pressing some buttons on the family front. @whitpauly I'm not sure of your family dynamics but I hope that they can just respect your decision to not drink this weekend.
Hoping everyone enjoys their day whatever that may entail. 5 -
Felt compelled to go to AA meeting number two this week. As I sat there, I was humbled by people’s caring, humor, stories, and candor. I never wanted to be part of this type of thing, because I never imagined having this problem, but I am happy for now that I have somewhere to go. I just sit quietly and absorb the good karma. Today’s message hit home particularly. Someone read a passage from a reflection book. And I sat there thinking this is all meant to be. Xo Happy Friday!
Recently, my friend gave me a birthday gift - it was a bracelet that says “Trust the journey.”13 -
So, I was going to watch a short video update on Demi Lovato who overdosed , but first watched a commercial. You know the commercials you sit through on a news show before the video plays. It was a Seagram’s cooler commercial with girls in bikinis at a pool having fun. This was on the entertainment tonight website. Poor taste.
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@JulieAL1969 stay strong
You can do this.1 -
andysport1 wrote: »@JulieAL1969 stay strong
You can do this.
I feel quite determined. I woke up early and will go on a morning jog in our beautiful park system. How are you? Hope you are enjoying the weekend. Xo3 -
Mornin' y'all. Im doing the 16/8 intermittent fasting thing and I am hangry. I'm only eating between 11-7 and its 10:40 am now so the time is fast approaching to be able to eat. Yay! I've been doing this 3 days and have lost 1.2 lbs. Does anyone else do this and has it been successful for you? I hear it's good for all kinds of health reasons, not just weight control.3
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Mornin' y'all. Im doing the 16/8 intermittent fasting thing and I am hangry. I'm only eating between 11-7 and its 10:40 am now so the time is fast approaching to be able to eat. Yay! I've been doing this 3 days and have lost 1.2 lbs. Does anyone else do this and has it been successful for you? I hear it's good for all kinds of health reasons, not just weight control.
Good for you! I think IF builds discipline and is good for the mind/body connection. You’re so motivating! Xo2 -
What a great site. I too am struggling with my drinking and know that it is hurting my efforts to lose weight. Thanks for all the great resources!9
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@jjohnstonkay Welcome! You will find lots of support here, whatever your goals may be.3
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »So, I was going to watch a short video update on Demi Lovato who overdosed , but first watched a commercial. You know the commercials you sit through on a news show before the video plays. It was a Seagram’s cooler commercial with girls in bikinis at a pool having fun. This was on the entertainment tonight website. Poor taste.
Since going AF I've started to notice more and more how engrained alcohol is in our current culture. The whole "mommy juice" "rosé all day" "wine o clock" gimmick is spiralling out of control. I was at the dog park Thursday and saw a woman wearing a shirt that said in huge letters, "vodka is always a good idea." I was floored, disgusted, and discouraged because these are the messages we have to fight through and against on a daily basis. These are the messages that provoke family and friends to judge US for abstaining. It's pretty sad, but I'm extra proud of myself and my husband because last night was the first Friday we've had without vodka in over a year!!!12 -
Ksandoval0401 wrote: »JulieAL1969 wrote: »So, I was going to watch a short video update on Demi Lovato who overdosed , but first watched a commercial. You know the commercials you sit through on a news show before the video plays. It was a Seagram’s cooler commercial with girls in bikinis at a pool having fun. This was on the entertainment tonight website. Poor taste.
Since going AF I've started to notice more and more how engrained alcohol is in our current culture. The whole "mommy juice" "rosé all day" "wine o clock" gimmick is spiralling out of control. I was at the dog park Thursday and saw a woman wearing a shirt that said in huge letters, "vodka is always a good idea." I was floored, disgusted, and discouraged because these are the messages we have to fight through and against on a daily basis. These are the messages that provoke family and friends to judge US for abstaining. It's pretty sad, but I'm extra proud of myself and my husband because last night was the first Friday we've had without vodka in over a year!!!
Congrats ! You and your husband woke up so happy I bet! One of the things that always troubled me was all the neighborhood parties I've been part of that were mostly drink fests. And the kids would see all that drinkng and toasting. I just never felt good about the example I was setting.
You're right about alcohol being accepted and almost encouraged in our society. And yes, there is a stigma to quitting alcohol as opposed to quitting smoking. Good observations you have !4 -
jjohnstonkay wrote: »What a great site. I too am struggling with my drinking and know that it is hurting my efforts to lose weight. Thanks for all the great resources!
Happy to hear from you! Xo1 -
Ksandoval0401 wrote: »JulieAL1969 wrote: »So, I was going to watch a short video update on Demi Lovato who overdosed , but first watched a commercial. You know the commercials you sit through on a news show before the video plays. It was a Seagram’s cooler commercial with girls in bikinis at a pool having fun. This was on the entertainment tonight website. Poor taste.
Since going AF I've started to notice more and more how engrained alcohol is in our current culture. The whole "mommy juice" "rosé all day" "wine o clock" gimmick is spiralling out of control. I was at the dog park Thursday and saw a woman wearing a shirt that said in huge letters, "vodka is always a good idea." I was floored, disgusted, and discouraged because these are the messages we have to fight through and against on a daily basis. These are the messages that provoke family and friends to judge US for abstaining. It's pretty sad, but I'm extra proud of myself and my husband because last night was the first Friday we've had without vodka in over a year!!!
Congrats on your success!
I really think social media makes excessive drinking look “acceptable”. The world is terrifying.
On a side note, can I just say that in general I am a curmudgeon and really hate those saying shirts - regardless of what the message is. I really don’t care that much about strangers lives that I need to know that about you. Whether you are a boozebag, a marathon runner or whatever.
Okay. End of rant6 -
Here is the proposed version for August. If you have any corrections please let me know. Please avoid quoting the entire post as it is VERY long now.MFP LESS ALCOHOL ONE DAY AT A TIME
RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LISTRemember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!
USING OUR THREAD:- Join us at any time - this is a day to day challenge.
- Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less you and decide what that means to you.
- There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
- AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
- To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR MEMBERS:
Getting Started or Starting Over - The Early Days- Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
- If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
- There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
- For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
- You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
- Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mocktails, activities, etc.
- You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
- If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
- Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
- Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
- It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
- Some days will be easier than others.
- You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
- You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
- Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
- Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
- Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.
- Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
Life with Less Alcohol- It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
- There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
- You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
- You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
- Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
- Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
- It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
- Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
- Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
- You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
- It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
- Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
- Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
- If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
- For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.
Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)- Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
- Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
- Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
- Increased energy after as few as 2 days
- Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
- Increased productivity
- Reduction of high blood pressure
- Lower resting heart rate
- Less Acid Reflux
- Significant financial savings
- Better relationships with family
When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance by @Orphia:- We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
- We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
- We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
- Our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
- I've learned that not drinking makes the problems often go away (e.g. drinking out of worry about drinking).
- Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
- Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.
How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You" by @Orphia- Instead of lumbering myself with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, I think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
- I worry about "me" and don't want "Tomorrow Me" to feel awful.
- Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
- Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic, I might add.)
- We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
- We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
- Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
- Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
- You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to Tomorrow You.
A Sharing Site for Women:
http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/
General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
http://www.hipsobriety.com/
https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/
Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/
The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/
Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp
The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink
To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/
Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations
ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep
Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/
APPS:- Dry January & Beyond - The Dry January & Beyond app is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
- EasyQuitDrinking - Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features
- nomo - Sobriety Clocks - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted and connect with accountability partners.
BOOKS:- The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
- Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
- Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
- The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
- The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
- Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
- Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
- Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
- The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
- Alcohol Explained by William Porter
https://youtu.be/T3eIiS-Rl4k
https://youtu.be/Qiueo1nVyF8
https://youtu.be/VB5WyBeFc8U
https://youtu.be/XNr62PhHOC8
Credit and Thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants for their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information.MFPLARD 07.28.18 Version 2.09 -
Hello all.
Wanted to check in. After 12 days AF, I caved and had some drinks with friends who came to visit from out of town last night. Long story short, I didn’t keep it to 1 or 2 and have a nice hangover to show for it. Sucks.
I am not bummed with myself, because doing so was eye-opening. As I ordered my first beer last night, I thought - hey I bet this is going to taste and feel so good! And I drank. And it didn’t. Drinking didn’t make me feel better and it didn’t enhance my experience at all.
I’ve spent most of the day resting and rehydrating, as well as reflecting. Drinking doesn’t make me feel good and it doesn’t make anything better.
So - back to it! I felt so much better without it and I’m anxious to get back to the many benefits.
Another side note: but I think I have a sensitivity or allergy to something in the beer. After a night of a few drinks, I wake up warm (body is a heater!), flushed, and my sinuses are congested! My nose was so clogged this morning I had trouble breathing out of it. Just miserable. Another reason to just not do it!
I’m glad I can come here and be honest and vent. Hope you all are having a good weekend so far.11
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