TEAM: Gutbusters (August)
Replies
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Question for y'all. I posted above about my thoughts on getting comments from others. It's particularly hard when there is a disconnect between how we feel inside and how people respond to our outside (ex. Working really hard with no or negative comments, going on a private journey to a healthier lifestyle only for it to become a topic of public conversation).
How is this going for you? Have you been surprised by certain responses or comments? How have you felt about getting comments? Does a lack of reaction ever bother you?
I know it's been important for me to process my thoughts on this forum and hope this prompt helps others do the same. Would love to hear from new and returning Gutbusters!
@eevang. Great question.
When I was actively reducing size, I'd purposefully NOT tell people that I was working towards this. I'd wait to see how long till people reacted or mentioned. The less frequent the contact (once a month, once every 2 months, etc...) the MORE likely it was that size change was noticed. The reason seems that the less frequent the contact the more dramatic the change since last time they saw you.
The other thing I noticed was that closer the companion/college was, the LESS likely they were to comment. I take this is because they accept you for what you are, not the size or weight you are.
Also seemed like women noticed more than men too.
Consequently The lack of reaction seldom bothered me. Sometimes it would be to be polite. Sometimes it would be because they genuinely did not notice.
Instead of seeking external approval, I worked for internal approval. Was I meeting my goals (getting enough sleep, doing enough activity, tracking what I was doing, etc..).
The comments you get that blow you away are the ones you are not expecting like:- "What happened, you used to be, like orca fat, now you are the best I have ever seen you" - This was a work colleague that knows my sense of humour, I have great respect for and had not seen in a year (50lbs lost between meetings).
- "Have you lost weight?" - Interstate manager after not having seem me for 2 months. This was followed by "Was that intentional?" - The sub-context was that the change was so dramatic that if it was not intentional there would be serious concerns for my health.
Now that I have been in maintenance for almost a year (and not bounced back up in weight). The hardest part is that people EXPECT you to be the new slimmer you. They do not realise that it takes as much focus to REMAIN slim as it was to get there. The good part is that maintain the focus is MUCH easier IF you have the right habits in place.
The advantage on being slim, fit and healthy is that most things you used to find hard or taxing become much easier (like climbing stairs, moving things, keeping concentration, remembering things, running for a train (or plane), carrying groceries, etc...).2 -
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@craigo3154 American society does certainly skew towards overweight. Today, I was called small or tiny by several different people. Um...I'm still overweight and have around 20 pounds to go before hitting normal.
Normal is my big goal. I'd like to be at the middle or lighter side of a normal BMI at the end of this. I want some leeway as I transition to maintenance and figure things out. And I want to stay in normal for the rest of my life. I want to stay active and strong.
I have gotten to the point where I'm feeling confident about my body. I wear short sleeves and shorts when it suits me now
but I am still working towards the big goal.
@eevang. Fantastic goal. Keep doing what you are doing and you will get there.
Normal range is considered to be BMI 18.5 to BMI 24.9 - Overweight is BMI 24.9 to BMI 30 - Obese is BMI 30+
(
BMI is based on metric ratio and is:
weight (in kg)/(height (in m) squared) or
703 * weight (in lbs)/(height (in inches) squared)
BMI assumes that for a height there should be an appropriate mass ratio for the human body. This is irrespective of male/female. BMI is almost meaningless for children who are still growing. Because of different body types (ectomorph/mesomorph/endomorph), BMI is a fairly wide and generous range.
).
I am WELL inside the normal range (BMI 20.7 as of this morning) almost too light for my build. From personal experience, there are so many more benefits being in the normal range than in the "overweight" range. Health being the biggest.
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Question for y'all. I posted above about my thoughts on getting comments from others. It's particularly hard when there is a disconnect between how we feel inside and how people respond to our outside (ex. Working really hard with no or negative comments, going on a private journey to a healthier lifestyle only for it to become a topic of public conversation).
How is this going for you? Have you been surprised by certain responses or comments? How have you felt about getting comments? Does a lack of reaction ever bother you?
I know it's been important for me to process my thoughts on this forum and hope this prompt helps others do the same. Would love to hear from new and returning Gutbusters!
Like @craigo3154, I also didn't purposefully did NOT tell people I was working on weight loss, not even close family aside from my husband, who was/is also working for the same goal. This was my mental/emotional hangup - I didn't want people to know of my failure if I didn't succeed. (My self has begun to treat me more positively, so I'm making progress here!)
Anyway. My sister was the first to notice and comment on any change, about 10 lbs of weight loss in. I've lost about another 15 pounds since she last saw me, and I know she's eager to see my changes in person soon. I feel like if I can lose weight, anyone can, and I hope that maybe she will see my changes and make some positive changes for herself again, too -- ones that can last.
I've noticed the women I'm friends with may not always refer to weight loss specifically, but might refer to how strong or toned the person looks, so "your arms look buff" (said to another friend). I also personally tend to refer to friends looking more "fit" rather than having lost weight.
I definitely expect women to comment on me more than men, and vice versa, as my husband's male friends and work colleagues who have seen us both have only mentioned his weight loss. Hubs and I talked about it, and we figure that the comments they make about him are also indirect comments about me, trying to be polite/ not creepy about it.
Also like @craig03154, in a prior weight loss journey when I was younger, someone asked me if I had intended to lose the weight, as though they wondered if I had a health problem. I took that as a form of politeness again - I think some people want to say something positive without being offensive, so they come up with the question of whether the weight loss is intentional to try to cover all the bases.
Overall, I don't really care if people mention my weight loss. I'm glad for my family to mention it, but as for everybody else, I'd prefer they just see me as a fit person, and who cares if they comment on it?
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I have lost 2lb this week really please with the weight loss.
The key is to write everything down1 -
August 21
Exercised?: Yes. 3 km walk in 24 mins (hills).
Calories?: Yes
Tracked?: Yes
Worked from home today. Late walk.
Managed to go flying tonight (for the first time in weeks). Still feel under-prepared for the weekends racing, but at least I got some air time.
Wife is still doing great. I'm so proud of her. Her morning blood sugars still in the normal range. I am expecting her daily insulin doses will need to be reduced again soon. The weight is continuing to come off too (extra hard to do when on insulin).
Daily Strength challenge
Challenge for August 21 is push ups
3 sets- First set till the point where you can do no more, wait 2 mins
- Second set of 60% of the number you did in the first set (half, then another 10%), wait 2 mins
- Third set of 50% of the number you did in the first set (half)
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I have lost 2lb this week really please with the weight loss.
The key is to write everything down
@cheeso1. Well done. Too easy to forget things if they are not recorded.
I found MFP makes tracking food easy, but there are a few tricks to doing it well. Like ensuring macros are available for food you consume. Also weighing food till you are very good at estimating.
Lastly, please post weigh in data in the format:Username: cheeso1
Weigh in week: Week 4
Weigh in day: Monday
Previous Week's weight: 231.0 (your weight last week)
Todays Weight: 229.0 (your weight on your weigh in day)
If you post in this format, it will not get missed as previous posts have.
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Username: metubal
Weigh in Week: August Week 4
Weigh in Day: Monday
Previous Weight: 167.9
Today's Weight: 165
My goal was 163. Sigh😕3 -
craigo3154 wrote: »Westray16
Week 4
Weigh in day Monday
Previous weight 192 lbs
Today's weight 195 lbs
Struggling to get back into this. Not able to walk far due to an injury but joined a pool this morning to do some water based exercises 3 times a week
@westray16. Please take care. It's hard to keep to a plan when injured and mobility is hampered. However, being forced inactive through injury does not mandate weight gain.
That said, weight/health management is 90% diet. Most calories are burnt by the body just running the brain and keeping warm. Activity boost to this burn rate, but you need to to A LOT of activity to significantly use more. (An active person uses, on average, only 30% more calories per day than a sedentary person).
My wife does almost no exercise and is type 2 diabetic. However, in the last 2 months, through solely changing eating habits, has lost over 15 lbs (averaged over 1% per week reduction) and reduced daily insulin dosage by 25%.
As the saying goes, "You cannot out exercise a bad diet". However the principle remains even without exercise. "You can do without exercise on a good diet".
Hope the injury heals soon and that you enjoy water activities. (I personally enjoy swimming, but don't get to do it that often).
Many thanks for your support and advice. It really helps and helps to put the lack of exercise in perspective!2 -
Username: craigo3154
Weigh in week: Week 4
Weigh in day: Wednesday
Previous Week's Weight: (63.1kg) 139.1
Todays Weight: (63.3kg) 139.6
Staying in the right range. First time in months I have been at home on my weigh in day.
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Username: metubal
Weigh in Week: August Week 4
Weigh in Day: Monday
Previous Weight: 167.9
Today's Weight: 165
My goal was 163. Sigh😕
@metubal. Still one more week of August
I believe you are being too hard on yourself. You have managed an astonishing 4.18% reduction in weight over 4 week. This is something to be celebrated. (163 would have been an incredible 5.4% in 4 week, an amazing ask, and an order of magnitude harder.)
Lastly weight is quite fickle. It can change as much at 4lbs over the day with water weight. The real measure for weight SHOULD be an average over 7 days to give a reliable indication. The scale may report 165, but the true weight is likely to be somewhere between 163 and 167.
I used to weight daily (even multiple times per day to see what the fluctuations during the day were like. I regularly lost around 2lbs overnight. If I short changed myself on sleep, then I may lose only 1lb over night. Changes in weight based on what I ate and what I did were quite interesting. Most of it seemed to be related to foods or activities that changed water retention (this is part of how I found my gluten sensitivity).
Celebrate the 165 (>4% in 4 weeks). You have done really well so far.
Fine to set an agressive target, but celebrate the improvement that the striving for that target brings instead of regretting not hitting a VERY high expectation. You are far better off for the attempt (maybe even better off than if you hit your target).
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@LesIckaBod I love hearing that you are treating yourself more kindly lately. Your positivity is very clear in your posts, and I always look forward to reading them.
Increased positivity has been an unexpected benefit of this journey for me. I treat myself more kindly and have a more positive outlook on all aspects of life now.
I'm so happy with this change and never want to go back! 3 -
Username: inshapeCK
Weigh in week: Week 4
Weigh in day: Wednesday
Previous Week's Weight: 147.6 pounds
Todays Weight: 145.7 pounds
Down 1.9 pounds! VERY Happy with that accomplishment!
Finally getting most of the weight off that I re-gained back since August 1st when I had achieved 145.0 pounds
and 25.1 pounds lost.
Only 0.7 pounds more to lose to get back down to 145.0 pounds
then I want to work on getting into the lower 140s.
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August 22
Exercised?: Yes. 3 km walk in 24 mins (city).
Calories?: Yes
Tracked?: Yes
Travelled into a client meeting near town. 1.5km from train station. Walked.
Early night tonight. I feel I need it.
Daily Strength challenge
Challenge for August 22 is lunges ()
3 sets- First set 10 or 15 each leg (if 10 is too easy continue to 15).
- Second set 6 or 9 each leg.
- Third set 5 or 8 each leg.
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Username: inshapeCK
Weigh in week: Week 4
Weigh in day: Wednesday
Previous Week's Weight: 147.6 pounds
Todays Weight: 145.7 pounds
Down 1.9 pounds! VERY Happy with that accomplishment!
Finally getting most of the weight off that I re-gained back since August 1st when I had achieved 145.0 pounds
and 25.1 pounds lost.
Only 0.7 pounds more to lose to get back down to 145.0 pounds
then I want to work on getting into the lower 140s.
@inshapeCK. Well done. Good result.
Hard to lose weight with already at a low weight. (In fact, I think you are currently the lightest competitor in team Gutbusters )
What is your target ideal weight? (What is your height?) For most a target weight should be within the "normal" range (ie. BMI 18.5 to 24.9)
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@LesIckaBod I love hearing that you are treating yourself more kindly lately. Your positivity is very clear in your posts, and I always look forward to reading them.
Increased positivity has been an unexpected benefit of this journey for me. I treat myself more kindly and have a more positive outlook on all aspects of life now.
I'm so happy with this change and never want to go back!
Aw, thanks, @eevang - your positivity is always evident too, and definitely a favorite for me, also.
Just some related thoughts on personal positivity that I've meant to share here before:
I sometimes see/hear people talk about resolving to lose weight and "no excuses this time" with a sense, to me, that what they mean is they're going to become their own personal boot camp drill sergeant and find a way to beat themselves into submission . I sense personal disgust from that kind of thinking (and I had it myself).
I started thinking about the fact that for anyone else in my life,'m pretty kind and understanding about helping them through basic life problems. I definitely would not insult them, or make them feel worse about their struggles, so why would I treat myself that way?
And I look back at myself in the past and think how silly it was, and how sad, that I would be so uncharitable to myself. My weight, work ethic, etc were never as bad as I made myself believe, and I wish I had treated myself differently then. I'd be in a different place now, because so much time was wasted in giving up or not trying because of those negative personal thoughts.
Anyway, when I start to beat myself up now, I imagine my Future Self helping me to recognize what's good about where I'm at now. In order to reach my goals, I've got to work with the person I am today. According to past evidence, beating up this person isn't going to improve things, so I've got to try to be more kind.
Does this resonate with anyone else?2 -
So sorry I haven't updated! My sister was in a car accident so I have been very busy.
Username: caitlynns727
Weigh-in day: Wednesday
Week 4
Previous Weight:
Current Weight: 178.92 -
LesIckaBod wrote: »@LesIckaBod I love hearing that you are treating yourself more kindly lately. Your positivity is very clear in your posts, and I always look forward to reading them.
Increased positivity has been an unexpected benefit of this journey for me. I treat myself more kindly and have a more positive outlook on all aspects of life now.
I'm so happy with this change and never want to go back!
Aw, thanks, @eevang - your positivity is always evident too, and definitely a favorite for me, also.
Just some related thoughts on personal positivity that I've meant to share here before:
I sometimes see/hear people talk about resolving to lose weight and "no excuses this time" with a sense, to me, that what they mean is they're going to become their own personal boot camp drill sergeant and find a way to beat themselves into submission . I sense personal disgust from that kind of thinking (and I had it myself).
I started thinking about the fact that for anyone else in my life, I'm pretty kind and understanding about helping them through basic life problems. I definitely would not insult them, or make them feel worse about their struggles, so why would I treat myself that way?
And I look back at myself in the past and think how silly it was, and how sad, that I would be so uncharitable to myself. My weight, work ethic, etc were never as bad as I made myself believe, and I wish I had treated myself differently then. I'd be in a different place now, because so much time was wasted in giving up or not trying because of those negative personal thoughts.
Anyway, when I start to beat myself up now, I imagine my Future Self helping me to recognize what's good about where I'm at now. In order to reach my goals, I've got to work with the person I am today. According to past evidence, beating up this person isn't going to improve things, so I've got to try to be more kind.
Does this resonate with anyone else?
@LesIckaBod. I read this and thought "At last, someone who REALLY gets it". Thank you SOOOOOO much for putting it so eloquently.
Treat yourself as you would treat others you care about.
So much better results with positive re-enforcement, rather than punishment. So why not use reward over punishment on yourself.
Notice the bad but don't give it attention or re-enforcement (just learn from it and move on). Emphasise the good, focus on it and reward it. The greater the reward for good, the more it will happen.
“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar”3 -
LesIckaBod wrote: »@LesIckaBod I love hearing that you are treating yourself more kindly lately. Your positivity is very clear in your posts, and I always look forward to reading them.
Increased positivity has been an unexpected benefit of this journey for me. I treat myself more kindly and have a more positive outlook on all aspects of life now.
I'm so happy with this change and never want to go back!
Aw, thanks, @eevang - your positivity is always evident too, and definitely a favorite for me, also.
Just some related thoughts on personal positivity that I've meant to share here before:
I sometimes see/hear people talk about resolving to lose weight and "no excuses this time" with a sense, to me, that what they mean is they're going to become their own personal boot camp drill sergeant and find a way to beat themselves into submission . I sense personal disgust from that kind of thinking (and I had it myself).
I started thinking about the fact that for anyone else in my life,'m pretty kind and understanding about helping them through basic life problems. I definitely would not insult them, or make them feel worse about their struggles, so why would I treat myself that way?
And I look back at myself in the past and think how silly it was, and how sad, that I would be so uncharitable to myself. My weight, work ethic, etc were never as bad as I made myself believe, and I wish I had treated myself differently then. I'd be in a different place now, because so much time was wasted in giving up or not trying because of those negative personal thoughts.
Anyway, when I start to beat myself up now, I imagine my Future Self helping me to recognize what's good about where I'm at now. In order to reach my goals, I've got to work with the person I am today. According to past evidence, beating up this person isn't going to improve things, so I've got to try to be more kind.
Does this resonate with anyone else?
This. 100% this. I think our struggles with being kind to ourselves with regards to weight are deeply tied to a fundamental societal misunderstanding about weight. I wasn't overweight because I lacked willpower or was lazy. I was overweight because I just didn't understand what healthy looked like. I had no clue how to adjust my life in order to make healthy my "autopilot". Making these adjustments was really tough...but once I made them I really am happy with living this way. It really is sustainable and a very nice way to live.
People talk to me as if losing weight was some incredible feat. As if I'm "beating" myself, winning a battle against myself. As if they are amazed at my ability to deny myself and force myself into a smaller size. Maybe I'm making too much of the comments, but I definitely am picking up something off in their tones of amazement. (I'm not offended that they are shocked...just concerned they make it sound impossible. Although last year I would've thought it was impossible too!)
I just think it's unfortunate our society doesn't make weight loss seem more accessible. It's really tough but in large part because our culture doesn't give us the tools of success.
I hope it doesn't seem like I'm making light of the struggles people are facing in their weight loss journies. I struggled a lot for my first 4-5 months. Slowly I learned what worked for me and that is when it felt more lasting and permanent and easy.1 -
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People talk to me as if losing weight was some incredible feat. As if I'm "beating" myself, winning a battle against myself. As if they are amazed at my ability to deny myself and force myself into a smaller size. Maybe I'm making too much of the comments, but I definitely am picking up something off in their tones of amazement. (I'm not offended that they are shocked...just concerned they make it sound impossible. Although last year I would've thought it was impossible too!)
I just think it's unfortunate our society doesn't make weight loss seem more accessible. It's really tough but in large part because our culture doesn't give us the tools of success.
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@eevang. Even today I am astonished at:- The lack of education in schools of science research based health management.
- The amount of mis-information spread by the media and advertisers on nutrition.
- The lack of knowledge of the general populous on how to manage weight and health.
The common opinion is that:- You can out-exercise and bad diet
- Obese = lazy
- There is a magic pill/supplement to allow you to eat like Homer Simpson and still lose weight
- Eating more often increases your metabolism
- You need 3 meals a day + snacks (to ensure you get 5 serves of carbohydrate)
- Only with an enormous amount of willpower is it possible to lose weight
- Breakfast is the most important meal of the day (for everyone)
The hardest parts of losing weight seems to be stopping lying to yourself and working what works for you.
Once you get the habits and routines set up that work with your lifestyle, magic literally happens. If weight loss/management seems to be an unending willpower struggle, you have not found the right routine for you.
It takes a certain amount of mental re-programming to make it all work. Once it's done most of the work happens on autopilot. Your food preferences change, your tastes change, your attitude to activity changes.
I had to learn a lot and face up to some uncomfortable truths to lose weight. However once I accepted that there was a lot I did not know (and there is still a lot I do not know) about weight/health management, progress was made.
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User name: grebber1
Weigh in day: Thursday
Weigh in week: 4
Previous week: 368.6
Today's weight: 363.8
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COKYKgQ8KR0
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