Hello Weekend is almost here!! I started a new job this week...part-time to supplement my existing work and was somewhat stressed about working with other people LOL I've been self-employed for over 20 yrs and the thoughts of having to work with others wasn't terribly appealing but my friend who works there said it is an easy environment and she is right. It's quite a good team and it's different than what I have ever done, but still physical & it's a really fast-paced environment, so I like that part for sure, time flies, AND it's only one day a week, which makes up for the clients that still have me on hold due to their virus fears.
I'm thrilled to see everyone really working at & enjoying the benefits of being AF...as far as what to say when others offer drinks, my preference is "No thanks, I'll have "X' instead...or I'd rather have "X" and if they make a deal of it, I just re-state, "I'd rather have 'X' ~ thank you though." Unless someone comes right out & asks me why I don't drink, I don't tell...but that's just me. If someone does actually ask, I admit that alcohol was becoming a problem for me, so I decided to quit while I could still make the choice.
Have a GREAT AF weekend and keep on keepin' on...I've been doing good keeping caught up on my reading here, but it is getting more difficult cause this thread is sizzlin' !! BTW I miss seeing @Whitpauly's "Another 24" Hoping she is ok. and if you're lurking girlie, please let us know
Another alcohol dream last night, it was so vivid ! Again as in the other one, I was gona drink alcohol only this time it was wine instead of beer (it's funny cos it was always usually beer or wine I drank 😂) it feels as if my dreams are tormenting me!
I have actually been having some very very vivid dreams this past while it does seem to coincide with my efforts to stay AF. I wonder if there is a connection 🤔 the dreams arnt particularly pleasant either....must be due a nice dream sometime....
I’m just over 1 year sober and I still have drunk dreams, I still find them really unpleasant but I try to think about how you feel when you wake up and realise it’s not true and never has to be again!
To those wondering what to say when offered a drink, I agree that it depends who is asking. If it is a stranger (bartender etc) you can just say,"no thanks, I'll have a seltzer." Absolutely no explanation is needed. To someone that you may know better, that knew you as a drinker before you might say, "I'm doing a challenge," or "i'm watching my weight." or even, "No thanks I've already had my lifetime supply." Honestly, anyone that continues to pester anyone else about this is obviously insecure in their own habits; I should know, I shamefully have done this in the past. I don't think any good comes from declaring, "because it is poison," "or anything that will make the other person defensive. That is unless they are being a total douche. Then just say whatever you want.
Haha I have my response if I get pushed..."No thanks. I can't afford another double matinee of ambulance/ER visit." Or, I could say "I've slowly developed an sensitivity to alcohol (which is evidenced in my face when I drink)." Or, "I've lost 12 pounds since I took a break and don't want to stop this roll."
My sister used to tell people who asked, "I have an ulcer." And people shut up right away. I recently said "I won't have any wine. It likes me too much!" Have a great weekend!
Another alcohol dream last night, it was so vivid ! Again as in the other one, I was gona drink alcohol only this time it was wine instead of beer (it's funny cos it was always usually beer or wine I drank 😂) it feels as if my dreams are tormenting me!
I have actually been having some very very vivid dreams this past while it does seem to coincide with my efforts to stay AF. I wonder if there is a connection 🤔 the dreams arnt particularly pleasant either....must be due a nice dream sometime....
I’m just over 1 year sober and I still have drunk dreams, I still find them really unpleasant but I try to think about how you feel when you wake up and realise it’s not true and never has to be again!
That is true. It's a good feeling to realise that you weren't drunk & have awoke hangover free !!
Another day of rediscovery....finding that I don't need to rely on alcohol to relax or unwind. I put my headphones on & played my meditation app & it does wonders to relax me & put me at ease. The only difference is the meditation is long lasting. I feel the benefit for days at a time & no nasty hangover or feeling unwell. (Cheaper too 😊)
Realised at one point today, once I was back home after work that even although work has been very draining & non stop, and there was a suspected terrorist attack today right beside the train station I was in (the attacker was shot dead by police, a police officer is in hospital & I think there was 6 people stabbed who are all receiving treatment in hospital) I didn't even once concider buying wine or beer or anything else. My first thought was, I will use my meditation app this evening cos today's been stressful. I felt a bit amazed actually that I didn't even want let alone need any alcohol to ' deal with it'. I'm really happy with that cos it's a good sign I will be able to continue AF long-term. I'm starting to think that my drinking in the past has just been habit based. Engrained behaviours that I am now un - picking & replacing with better habits, for me.
It turns out the incident is not being treated as terrorism by the police. However the condition of the victims is still not known. Apparently the police officer is 'critical but stable'. Its absolutely shocking though. I had managed to get on an earlier train when my partner called me to tell me what was happening right beside where I was and at that time it was suspected terrorist attack. I couldn't believe it. I seen quite a few officers walking through the station (more than usual) and then a couple of people boarded the train and hung around right beside me which made me feel quite twitchy & I suddenly felt a bit vulnerable, looking around and being alert. Watching the news at home I seen how major the incident was, so many police & ambulance on the blocked off street. Quite shocking really. I just hope that the injured folks are gona make a recovery. 2020 has been one strange year. I find myself asking, "what's next??" Trying to stay positive though.
@FeelinFooFoo That is so scary! I'm thankful you were not involved in any way in that terrible incident. I hope everyone will recover.
It is Saturday here, party day for my 90 year old father in law. I am looking forward to a sober but fun time with family we have not seen for ages. The party will be outside as we will do our best to physical distance. Here in Maryland we take it seriously and the cases are dropping a lot. Unfortunately many other states are not which is alarming. Anyway, there are relatives coming that only ever have seen me drink heavily at parties. I am hoping they (silently) notice I am not indulging. At least I am not at risk of saying or doing anything embarrassing. I am so mad at myself for all the wasted (literally) years. Oh well, we can only look forward, not back. Regret is not a useful emotion, though it can help keep me sober. I wish everyone a safe, sober and happy weekend.
In the spoiler below I got a little nostalgic thinking about the 90th birthday...
What a honor to celebrate 90 years with that sweet man. He has seen more than we will ever imagine. He was a teen during WW2. Probably wanted to help but was too young. He saw the American pride when the boys came home and grieved those who didn’t. A blink of an eye later he saw Korea then Vietnam. He was scared to death during the Cuban Missile crisis bc at this time he probably had a family and mutually assured destruction was on our doorstep. He saw the heat if the Cold War and the fall of the Iron Curtain. Then things shifted to the Middle East.... He was probably worrying about grandkids at this point. Fast forward a few more years to now. In 2020 when we feel like we have seen it all - we get to know a sweet man is celebrating his 90th. 2020 pales in comparison to what he has collectively seen. He is of the greatest generation!!!!! Please don’t hug him for me!!! But know that we appreciate the hardships he has been thru to give us what we have today!!
What’s up with all the drinking dreams! First of all, I’ve been having effed up dreams for weeks. But last night takes the cake. First Dream was a drinking dream and in the dream I told myself how bad my HO was gonna be. Luckily I woke up to a nice, sober surprise! The second I found out that bc I’m currently nannying my grandson and working from my daughter’s home, that my boss decided to leave her 2 and 4 yr olds with me for a week while she goes on vacation. That one was WAY scarier!!!!!
@Beka3695 Um, that is way cross the line by your boss, IMHO. Great she's that trusting, but that sounds out of bounds even if you aren't trying to work!
@Beka3695 Um, that is way cross the line by your boss, IMHO. Great she's that trusting, but that sounds out of bounds even if you aren't trying to work!
Lisa, this was the second dream... didn’t really happen.
Well my brother decided today he was going to shops to buy whiskey. Which was fine. He returned hours later (he had been sat outside at a grassy area nearby, at a bench, wanted alone time he said & only planned to have a couple of drinks) fast forward a while later once he had came back & he felt very sick ! Had to spend ages nursing him basically lol he said 'never again'. He is only 19 and I do hope that by me staying sober, he will maybe be able to avoid all the years it took me to stop binge drinking. I am trying to advise him without sounding like I'm trying to be preachy about it.
Seeing how he felt so ill & being sick, now wrapped up in his bed with a gallon of water beside him & a day of feeling hungover ahead of him, it's reinforcing my decision to stay off it. I know that I'm not always gona find it so easy to stay dry, I guess there is a ton of situations ahead of me when I may be tempted, but seeing the results of binging on booze is definetly more reasons for me to remind myself EXACTLY why I have chosen a different path. I don't want to go back there!
@FeelinFooFoo Ouch! I can just feel his pain and suffering from here. Whisky is a tough one- especially since he's so young; I bet his tolerance is not that high. Lesson learned. I have uttered "never again" millions of times. I am hoping he will be better than us and learn young.
Aww @FeelinFooFoo ,your poor brother I don't miss that feeling at all! Sorry I haven't been around, I've been dealing with some blues cuz I thought covid was done but now I'm not sure what the immediate future holds, will we close again? What's the remedy to get rid of it for good? Grrrrrt very frustrating, 6:34 am in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a great AF day🌻
@FeelinFooFoo Ouch! I can just feel his pain and suffering from here. Whisky is a tough one- especially since he's so young; I bet his tolerance is not that high. Lesson learned. I have uttered "never again" millions of times. I am hoping he will be better than us and learn young.
I have been making sure he's taken care of today ! Breakfast in bed, the works. I felt right sorry for him, wasn't that long ago it was me in that state I know all too well how it feels. That's exactly what I said to him, lesson learned.
Aww @FeelinFooFoo ,your poor brother I don't miss that feeling at all! Sorry I haven't been around, I've been dealing with some blues cuz I thought covid was done but now I'm not sure what the immediate future holds, will we close again? What's the remedy to get rid of it for good? Grrrrrt very frustrating, 6:34 am in Vegas another 24,hope everyone has a great AF day🌻
We are in the stages of everything opening back up in UK but there is real fear of a spike in cases \ second wave. Just too many people crowding together acting as if the virus has vanished.....preying that the numbers stay down. I have been hitting walls at work, I was literally closing my eyes at the end of the working day last week as I was writing notes. I can't wait until all my colleagues are back at work to share the load a bit more. I have annual leave soon, off 9 days total so at least I have that I guess. I hope your salon doesnt have to close again. 🤞
Iv heard a few people on this thread say, many times, "my worst day would be even worse if I was still drinking".
That's exactly what I have been telling myself since late on yesterday. Saturday I felt fine. But the weather from Saturday until today has been so grey & miserable, and I kept myself busy with housework over weekend (when usually I would have been drinking & numbing myself I guess in the name of having a good time) I was chatting to work mates who also said the weather was dragging them down a bit. Tbh I felt a little depressed on Sunday evening but I'm okay now. But I told myself "if your feeling bad just now, imagine how you would feel if you had still been drinking!?". I am also aware that any emotions or feelings I have maybe been pushing aside using alcohol, I will now be having to face them and actually resolve them. Which is good. Just means I have to be extra good with my self care & remember to take care of me. 💖🧡💜
@FeelinFooFoo Well thought out! I know that I drink when I'm anxious and bored. BUT then the next few days after drinking my anxiety gets so much worse and I'm bored because I'm lying in bed feeling like death.
I know that the weather can be such a downer, so I understand how you're feeling. You have some great realizations. I'm happy you share them with us.
Today, I went to my trainer and am so happy that I don't drink. The workouts are so grueling in a good way, can you imagine if I paid all that money and had a hangover while trying to work out. YUK. Makes me sick thinking about it.
My sister came over and she said she's 107 days sober (she had a relapse 108 days ago) and I am about 75 days sober. She said there is such peace knowing that we don't have to worry about drunk texting. She said what if you were drunk and texted your ex that you miss him and want him back (which isn't true). She said all the drunk texts worries don't exist anymore. Hallelujah !
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I'm thrilled to see everyone really working at & enjoying the benefits of being AF...as far as what to say when others offer drinks, my preference is "No thanks, I'll have "X' instead...or I'd rather have "X" and if they make a deal of it, I just re-state, "I'd rather have 'X' ~ thank you though." Unless someone comes right out & asks me why I don't drink, I don't tell...but that's just me. If someone does actually ask, I admit that alcohol was becoming a problem for me, so I decided to quit while I could still make the choice.
Have a GREAT AF weekend and keep on keepin' on...I've been doing good keeping caught up on my reading here, but it is getting more difficult cause this thread is sizzlin' !!
I’m just over 1 year sober and I still have drunk dreams, I still find them really unpleasant but I try to think about how you feel when you wake up and realise it’s not true and never has to be again!
Haha I have my response if I get pushed..."No thanks. I can't afford another double matinee of ambulance/ER visit." Or, I could say "I've slowly developed an sensitivity to alcohol (which is evidenced in my face when I drink)." Or, "I've lost 12 pounds since I took a break and don't want to stop this roll."
That is true. It's a good feeling to realise that you weren't drunk & have awoke hangover free !!
Realised at one point today, once I was back home after work that even although work has been very draining & non stop, and there was a suspected terrorist attack today right beside the train station I was in (the attacker was shot dead by police, a police officer is in hospital & I think there was 6 people stabbed who are all receiving treatment in hospital) I didn't even once concider buying wine or beer or anything else. My first thought was, I will use my meditation app this evening cos today's been stressful. I felt a bit amazed actually that I didn't even want let alone need any alcohol to ' deal with it'. I'm really happy with that cos it's a good sign I will be able to continue AF long-term. I'm starting to think that my drinking in the past has just been habit based. Engrained behaviours that I am now un - picking & replacing with better habits, for me.
It is Saturday here, party day for my 90 year old father in law. I am looking forward to a sober but fun time with family we have not seen for ages. The party will be outside as we will do our best to physical distance. Here in Maryland we take it seriously and the cases are dropping a lot. Unfortunately many other states are not which is alarming. Anyway, there are relatives coming that only ever have seen me drink heavily at parties. I am hoping they (silently) notice I am not indulging. At least I am not at risk of saying or doing anything embarrassing. I am so mad at myself for all the wasted (literally) years. Oh well, we can only look forward, not back. Regret is not a useful emotion, though it can help keep me sober. I wish everyone a safe, sober and happy weekend.
In the spoiler below I got a little nostalgic thinking about the 90th birthday...
What’s up with all the drinking dreams! First of all, I’ve been having effed up dreams for weeks. But last night takes the cake. First Dream was a drinking dream and in the dream I told myself how bad my HO was gonna be. Luckily I woke up to a nice, sober surprise! The second I found out that bc I’m currently nannying my grandson and working from my daughter’s home, that my boss decided to leave her 2 and 4 yr olds with me for a week while she goes on vacation. That one was WAY scarier!!!!!
Let’s celebrate the semi sane awake hours!!
Lisa, this was the second dream... didn’t really happen.
Technically a nightmare
Seeing how he felt so ill & being sick, now wrapped up in his bed with a gallon of water beside him & a day of feeling hungover ahead of him, it's reinforcing my decision to stay off it. I know that I'm not always gona find it so easy to stay dry, I guess there is a ton of situations ahead of me when I may be tempted, but seeing the results of binging on booze is definetly more reasons for me to remind myself EXACTLY why I have chosen a different path. I don't want to go back there!
I have been making sure he's taken care of today ! Breakfast in bed, the works. I felt right sorry for him, wasn't that long ago it was me in that state I know all too well how it feels. That's exactly what I said to him, lesson learned.
We are in the stages of everything opening back up in UK but there is real fear of a spike in cases \ second wave. Just too many people crowding together acting as if the virus has vanished.....preying that the numbers stay down. I have been hitting walls at work, I was literally closing my eyes at the end of the working day last week as I was writing notes. I can't wait until all my colleagues are back at work to share the load a bit more. I have annual leave soon, off 9 days total so at least I have that I guess. I hope your salon doesnt have to close again. 🤞
That's exactly what I have been telling myself since late on yesterday. Saturday I felt fine. But the weather from Saturday until today has been so grey & miserable, and I kept myself busy with housework over weekend (when usually I would have been drinking & numbing myself I guess in the name of having a good time) I was chatting to work mates who also said the weather was dragging them down a bit. Tbh I felt a little depressed on Sunday evening but I'm okay now. But I told myself "if your feeling bad just now, imagine how you would feel if you had still been drinking!?". I am also aware that any emotions or feelings I have maybe been pushing aside using alcohol, I will now be having to face them and actually resolve them. Which is good. Just means I have to be extra good with my self care & remember to take care of me. 💖🧡💜
I know that the weather can be such a downer, so I understand how you're feeling. You have some great realizations. I'm happy you share them with us.
My sister came over and she said she's 107 days sober (she had a relapse 108 days ago) and I am about 75 days sober. She said there is such peace knowing that we don't have to worry about drunk texting. She said what if you were drunk and texted your ex that you miss him and want him back (which isn't true). She said all the drunk texts worries don't exist anymore. Hallelujah !