The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living



  • LoveyChar
    LoveyChar Posts: 3,974 Member

    I am an enabler, definitely! I don't support him financially. But...I only support him until the burden becomes too taxing and I know it's wrong. In our years of life together, he's said that he was going to stop smoking (not because I asked him to, because I never did)... So dozens of times I've supported him through that claim. However, it only ever lasts so long because I start coming undone. Example, one year we were out Christmas shopping with insanity everywhere, hustle and bustle of traffic, lights, shopping... He was just complaining, irritated and miserable. Knowing we'd be shopping for hours, I blurred out "You know what, you need a cigarette! Because I cannot take this..." Wrong of me? Very. Everyone has a breaking point. Sometimes I think he's happy to hit mine.

    I feel sorry for children of alcoholics, too. Husband will claim he's not one. I'd disagree. He was not always like this. This was progression triggered by a series of events, some of which are good but went to his head. Maybe I'm wrong. He's a hard worker, worked his way up from two jobs flipping burgers in his thirties through school for 6 years until he finished his Master's degree and landed a great position where he's being groomed for an even better one. He doesn't hit me, cheat, or gamble our money away...thank God.

    I wish my husband was more like his father, though. He barely ever drinks...I think in 10+ years I've seen him drink two beers. He runs Marathons, been doing that since he was young. He's God-fearing and calm. Husband is much more like his mother.
  • LoveyChar
    LoveyChar Posts: 3,974 Member
    Money: I'd probably get super disgusted if I actually knew what my husband spent in one weekend on cigarettes and alcohol. He buys craft beers, pricy. Cigarettes are $7 + pack.

    Expectations: I'm glad nobody has drinking expectations of me. My parents are coming down in a month to see my daughter graduate. Never in my life have I seen my mom drink and my dad likes his beers but like George Thorogood sings "I drink alone," so does my dad plus I would feel odd drinking with him.

    Husband's mom is coming down within the next week and a half. Husband loves to get drunk with his mom. Late nights up and a box of wine and I'm happy to be in my bed. I do not have one bad word to say about my mother-in-law, not one. However I'm glad I come with no expectations. She was down last April and I was in bed by ten each night, no alcohol. No pressure, no expectations...

    Husband left for work and before walking out the door he kissed me on the cheek and said "I love you." He has alot of issues, but there are good qualities about him, too, and I Iove him.

    He's supposed to run a Marathon with his dad in less than 6 months, his first actual Marathon. He's overweight. He smokes. He can't even run one straight mile right now. I do hope he gets it together. Often he'll get it together only for one reason and then after the reason has come and gone, it's back to the old bad habits. However, we'll see... hopefully I'm wrong about this next time...
  • LoveyChar
    LoveyChar Posts: 3,974 Member
    edited May 2021
    I hope everyone has a great day.
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,342 Member
    @lorrainequiche59 I was wondering where you went! I guess if you are 3 years in then you really must not think about drinking that much anymore, the way I eventually got with cigarettes when I quit smoking. I am so happy for your wonderful accomplishment. I'm sorry Ontario is locked down again....this horrible virus seems like it will never go away. Definitely keep checking in on us! We enjoy hearing from you!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,947 Member
    Hi @lorrainequiche59 Nice to hear from you!! Congrats on 3 years!! You made it through incredibly tragic times and yet you didn't drink. So proud of you!
  • LoveyChar
    LoveyChar Posts: 3,974 Member
    Sobriety is the gift I'm giving to myself.