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How do you conquer the fear of gaining?



  • psychod787psychod787 Posts: 1,514Member, Premium Member Posts: 1,514Member, Premium Member
    SabAteNine wrote: »
    First, congratulations on your loss. That's a hell of a number off the scale!

    Second, I get the fear. It used to numb my brain when approaching maintenance. What if I gain? Everyone's witnessing a small bump in weight when they up their calories, what if I can't handle that?

    So I gradually increased my calories. Slowly. Losing still. Losing another 5 comfortable lbs which would give me margin, while weight lifting.

    And then my own personal solution to breach the mental barrier was to.. gain weight on purpose! Planned. Slow bulk. I'm doing it now and I have put around 8.5 lbs since this summer. Of course, fat gain is quite minimal, I'm doing it with the specific purpose of putting on muscle mass while weight training. But I wake up and tell myself to trust the process, stick to the plan, keep watching the trend, and get up there to another +3 lbs. And in the mirror there is someone looking back who is definitely more fit than she was 6 months ago, and it shows.

    So I weigh in daily, I take the gain, I plan for more, and it repaired my relationship with the scale. I trust that I'll be able to cut after this - been there before, so what can go wrong, really? The body is an incredible machine. The mind as well - trust in them both!

    Doing the same. Still hard to see that bf come back.
  • Rabbit91476Rabbit91476 Posts: 36Member Member Posts: 36Member Member
    I added 2-300 calories a day until I found my maintenance. Was surprised how many calories I got back. Was dropping 2#/ a week at 1800 cal. Maintenance was around 2700. I had learn to eat more. 5 8 160# male
  • krael65krael65 Posts: 166Member Member Posts: 166Member Member
    I don't want to regain the weight I lost. I don't view it as fear of regaining (passive), as much as determination to not regain (active). Therefore, I take an active role in my maintenance. I choose to continue to weigh myself and track my food daily, just like I did while I was losing. I take breaks for vacations and some holidays where I don't log, but overall I remain consistent and aware so that my weight doesn't get out of control again.

    The longer I let it go (i.e., stop logging & weighing), the easier it is for me to fall back into old habits and the weight to creep back on. This has happened to me in the past, but I'm determined to maintain my loss this time.
  • nooie19nooie19 Posts: 92Member Member Posts: 92Member Member
    jrwms714 wrote: »
    I second the idea of a trending app. I use Happy Scale and it really helps. I am four years into maintenance and I want to add that the fear of regaining is something that is really intense at first, but as time goes on and your mind and body adjust to the fact that maintenance is, as someone said, having a range and bouncing around in it, and going back to loss calories when you go over that range, then the fear diminishes. For me, I want it still there, tucked somewhere in the back of my mind, so that I never feel like:"Well, I'm done and I'm thin and I don't ever have to worry again." That leads to a slippery slope. I bring that fear out again when I have gone over my range and have stayed at that weight for a week or more. Then I use that fear to bring me up short, have me look at what is going on honestly, curb my calories, work out more, and go back to where I need to be. So maybe fear is more about knowing what the reality could be if you allow it? Not sure. But, for me, it's always good to have to it somewhere where I can call it up, look at it, face it, and move on to healthier stuff.

    First, thanks to whoever first recommended Happy Scale. I just got the app and I absolutely love it. And I set it up to sync automatically from the MFP weigh ins. Seeing the green and red visuals helps me to know I’m still on track despite a few added pounds over the holidays.

    Second, thanks for the insights quoted above. I’m still working on my “all or nothing” mentality. Either I’m fairly obsessive about my weight or I’ve got my head buried in the sand. You are right that my weigh ins keep me from putting my head in the sand again.

    Last, thanks very much for this thread. It helps to know I am not alone with the anxiety.
  • rhiawiz57rhiawiz57 Posts: 784Member Member Posts: 784Member Member
    my dad still logs on MFP every single day even though he has now been at maintenance for 8 years. he says it is his reassurance that he will never regain the 50 lbs he lost after he retired. seeing is believing - it has worked for him. and, i've regained half the weight i lost in 2017, and I stopped logging daily. so, i know that is only 2 data points, but they are real! congrats on your weight loss and i think if you keep up with MFP logging (at least most days) and Happy Scale, you'll conquer your mental demons in addition to your physical ones.
    edited January 15
  • CSARdiverCSARdiver Posts: 5,374Member Member Posts: 5,374Member Member
    We fear what we don't understand.

    There are two critical elements to this.

    First - CICO and the importance of knowing your caloric intake and output.
    Second - Your habits and behaviors that influence CICO.

    You must first understand how this works to minimize the fear, then follow up with additional understanding that your weight is an output of your behavior. This requires more time and a more critical mind to evaluate the behaviors that led you to being overweight and those that led you to a healthy weight. These habits require continual evaluation through goal setting or other various means.

    A common tactic is to develop a higher goal - one that ensures the success of a smaller variable such as weight. For many athletics becomes the goal, rather than exercise being a vehicle towards maintenance.

    I intend to count calories for the rest of my life. I know at some point my activity will diminish and I will have to adjust my intake accordingly. Not tracking this is as absurd as not balancing my finances.

  • CSARdiverCSARdiver Posts: 5,374Member Member Posts: 5,374Member Member
    Great news brother!

    I spend a good deal of time with reinforcing behaviors and speaking with like minded people.

    A continual go to for me is Jocko Willink's podcast:

    I listen to this daily:

  • garystrickland357garystrickland357 Posts: 329Member Member Posts: 329Member Member
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