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how is the above person going to die?

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  • halflingpiehalflingpie Posts: 937Member Member Posts: 937Member Member
    We'll go on a nice long hike and when she starts to fall behind I'll run back and squish her while yelling "Ketchup!"
  • pizzamyheartpizzamyheart Posts: 1,047Member Member Posts: 1,047Member Member
    He heard of a MANLY MENS CLUB and he really wanted to be a part of it, because, after all, what man doesn't want to be a manly man? And if you aren't in a manly mens club, everyone knows it isn't official. He contacted the club advisor who said he'd have to go through an intense initiation process before he could even be considered for membership. The first step was to survive a trip down niagra falls on an inflatable raft that looked like a big piece of pizza. Unsurprisingly, he didn't survive. It would have been a good move on his part to do a little research into the manly mens club before begging to join. He probably would have found out that there were no actual "members" and that the advisor was a He-Man Man Hater named Rebecca.
  • Pandemonium_Pandemonium_ Posts: 488Member Member Posts: 488Member Member
    She just had to have that new pair of velvet underwear. The way it caressed her curves, clung to her womanly shape gave her an immense amount of confidence. Unfortunately, she paired it with a brand new pair of corduroy pants. Yes, she looked amazing walking through the grocery store, turning the head of the produce clerk,making the cart bringer inner get hit by that car as his eyes followed only her.... but all those hip swishes.....electrocuted from the static electricity.
  • pizzamyheartpizzamyheart Posts: 1,047Member Member Posts: 1,047Member Member
    He was feeling very confident with his new hair plugs. Even the lady next door gave him a second look as he brought his garbage cans to the end of his drive way. It made no matter that he was only wearing a pair of tube socks. All she noticed was that glorious evenly sectioned new hair on his head. He smiled at her as he set down the cans, and felt the breeze blow his new hair around his face. Yes, he was gonna start living life now. The ladies were gonna be falling head over...... He never did finish the thought as a rabid raccoon, which had been enjoying a week old have eaten filet o fish in the trash can decided it wanted to be his new hat. It jumped out of the can right on his head and bit down, never letting go again. It was an awful death. But, his hair looked good.
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member
    As she slept a tiny spider crawled into her ear. It made a little nest and had babies.
    Those babies wanted to explore so they chewed their way into her inner ear and in to her brain. They ate a 1/4 before it was even noticed that she wasn't quite right. Finally they ate the portion that controlled breathing and she dropped dead on the spot.
  • pizzamyheartpizzamyheart Posts: 1,047Member Member Posts: 1,047Member Member
    After years and years of suffering a broken heart from the break up of The Spice Girls, she finally succumbed.
  • halflingpiehalflingpie Posts: 937Member Member Posts: 937Member Member
    You'll be at the counter making lunch.
    Then it will happen.
    Just one step.
    One step backwards.
    Where it waits.
    The cat once again laying at your heels.
    Waiting for a crumb.
    Waiting for you.
    A Yeow.
    A Streak of orange.
    Then stars...
    ...followed by blackness.

    The cat enjoyed the sandwhich.
  • Pandemonium_Pandemonium_ Posts: 488Member Member Posts: 488Member Member
    He definitely should not have worn that moose urine on his hunting trip. Smelling especially sweet that day, he attracted the attentions, and moreso, the affections of the local bull moose.
  • AliNouveauAliNouveau Posts: 32,154Member Member Posts: 32,154Member Member
    Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
    He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
    He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
    And as the plane crashed down he thought
    "Well, isn't this nice."
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member
    Salmonella... undercooked chicken
  • lx1xlx1x Posts: 11,133Member Member Posts: 11,133Member Member
    Over flirting...one of crush got jealous.. abducted her. Then chained her.. left without food or flirting
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member
    lx1x wrote: »
    Over flirting...one of crush got jealous.. abducted her. Then chained her.. left without food or flirting

    Choked on a taco.. :D
  • lx1xlx1x Posts: 11,133Member Member Posts: 11,133Member Member
    lx1x wrote: »
    Over flirting...one of crush got jealous.. abducted her. Then chained her.. left without food or flirting

    Choked on a taco.. :D

    😂
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member
    They say he was abducted by bikers .. he was tortured and left for dead on the side of the road. He recovered enough to get up and start walking to town.. unfortunately a mile out of town he was hit by a carload of deer hunters.. they untied the deer from their bonnett and transported him to hospital naked and spread eagle on the bonnett. He actually died from exposure.
  • Pandemonium_Pandemonium_ Posts: 488Member Member Posts: 488Member Member
    She was drinking a lot as usual, and roasting a pig on a spit. She got dizzy watching it turn..round and round...and round. She tried to walk away, but stumbled and fell down the hill and off a cliff. Luckily she clung to a branch. Just as she smiled at her fortune, a feather landed on the end of the branch and it was just enough added weight that it broke, causing her to plummet to her death in a dust cloud at the bottom. The last sounds she heard, besides her own screams, was a "beep beep". Also, the feather had "acme" printed on it.
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member
    He was at the wrong place at the wrong time.. landed on by a lady who fell off a cliff..
  • halflingpiehalflingpie Posts: 937Member Member Posts: 937Member Member
    Fire ants.
    Not the red ones though.
    Regular ants that accidently set her home on fire.
  • pizzamyheartpizzamyheart Posts: 1,047Member Member Posts: 1,047Member Member
    He was on a trip in Manhattan. Walking along the street he was suddenly hit on the head by a coconut, killing him instantly. Nobody knows exactly where it came from or how it happened, but scientists are battling between two theories...one side thinks it was dropped by an African Swallow and the other side insists it had to be a European Swallow.
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member Posts: 219,087Member, Premium Member
    She had gender re-assignment surgery, all was good until a handsome young nurse came to sponge bath her.. the sudden rush of blood to new and unfamiliar parts made her pass out.. she fell off the bed and suffered a broken neck. :( a tragedy, so very sad.
  • Pandemonium_Pandemonium_ Posts: 488Member Member Posts: 488Member Member
    Hang gliding straight into a giant cacti patch
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