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How to deal with comments

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  • IsETHomeIsETHome Posts: 236Member Member Posts: 236Member Member
    I have a chronic illness which means my diet is quite restricted and people often comment, saying things like, should you really be eating that? It can be really annoying but I find saying something like, thank you for your concern but you really don't need to worry about me, or, even better, making a joke out of it, effectively shuts them up.

    I’m curious - what is it you must eat. I’m envisioning like eyeball fish soup or something. At work when people heat up fish the smell gets to me.
  • oneillm45oneillm45 Posts: 43Member, Premium Member Posts: 43Member, Premium Member
    However, I'd be tempted, given the relentless battering you have described, to suggest that you SHOULD explain your choices to them. In detail. Very precise detail, with each choice and your reasoning and the research behind it outlined. Do not give up when their eyes glaze over and they start to edge towards the exit. Follow your tormentors around explaining. Follow them to their car and stand talking to them through the car window while they smile in increasing desperation. I guarantee they will never ask similar questions again.

    I love this advice.
  • leiflungleiflung Posts: 76Member Member Posts: 76Member Member
    .... Now that I'm a size that is average or in some circles maybe a bit on the slimmer, fitter side (I'm a 42 year old Midwestern female so the bar is often pretty low, guys)...

    Don't sell yourself short. It's harder for us in the Midwest. It's not like there is a Kale Kitchen on every corner here. Instead, Fried State Fair Food has made it to the mainstream here.

    So I'd say a healthy sized Midwesterner is more of an accomplishment than the same person in Southern CA.

    We have much more to overcome with all the corn fed "goodness" here.

    I'm in socal. I moved here from Houston which is often at the top of fattest city lists. It's SO MUCH easier to eat right here.

    The climate makes it easier to stay fit. It also allows for fun activities that aren't centered around eating. When you have to stay inside because of weather, I think you tend to eat more jyst out of boredom.

    The weight of the populace keeps you vigilant and self-aware.

    There are plenty of factors.
  • tbright1965tbright1965 Posts: 792Member, Premium Member Posts: 792Member, Premium Member
    leiflung wrote: »
    .... Now that I'm a size that is average or in some circles maybe a bit on the slimmer, fitter side (I'm a 42 year old Midwestern female so the bar is often pretty low, guys)...

    Don't sell yourself short. It's harder for us in the Midwest. It's not like there is a Kale Kitchen on every corner here. Instead, Fried State Fair Food has made it to the mainstream here.

    So I'd say a healthy sized Midwesterner is more of an accomplishment than the same person in Southern CA.

    We have much more to overcome with all the corn fed "goodness" here.

    I'm in socal. I moved here from Houston which is often at the top of fattest city lists. It's SO MUCH easier to eat right here.

    The climate makes it easier to stay fit. It also allows for fun activities that aren't centered around eating. When you have to stay inside because of weather, I think you tend to eat more jyst out of boredom.

    The weight of the populace keeps you vigilant and self-aware.

    There are plenty of factors.

    Somebody gets what I said.

    I've traveled all over this nation, and a fair bit of the world.

    In some ways, you have to want fitness more here in the Midwest. It's not that it's not here, it is. But like was said, we have four seasons and you have to change it up as many things go indoors due to weather.
  • kshama2001kshama2001 Posts: 17,933Member Member Posts: 17,933Member Member
    I'm gonna push back on those who have said that the OP is being too unusual in his behavior and involving other people. Meal prepping and timing meals is not unusual in many areas. Eating any vegetable that isn't fried is unusual in other areas. When I buy fresh vegetables at the grocery, the checker often asks me what they taste like, because she has never seen anyone purchase a vegetable before. Seriously. I have spoken with the guy in charge of the vegetable department at my Kroger and they toss thousands of pounds of vegetables daily. I had to speak to him about kale, because it was advertised but never available. And it turned out the meat department was stealing the entire shipment to line their display cases since "No one buys that stuff anyway."

    It's all contextual. In the context of my city, wearing running clothes to actually run, wanting to eat at a restaurant which has even one meal less than 1500 calories available, not thinking a "salad" should be composed of 80% cheese and sugared pecans, all these things make me a weirdo. Guess what. I'm not changing, not for a whole basketful of kittens. The OP doesn't have to change either, and the comments being made are rude and invasive personal comments.

    OP, there are several ways to handle rude personal comments. One is to smile distantly and pretend to be deaf. Keep smiling and remain deaf until the questioner shuts up and gets a clue. Another one is to say "That's a very personal comment," and nothing else.

    Another approach, the one I usually take, is to smile brightly and say, "Yes, my lifestyle allows for planned treats. Pretty great, isn't it? By the way I love this hors d'oeuvre, try one."

    However, I'd be tempted, given the relentless battering you have described, to suggest that you SHOULD explain your choices to them. In detail. Very precise detail, with each choice and your reasoning and the research behind it outlined. Do not give up when their eyes glaze over and they start to edge towards the exit. Follow your tormentors around explaining. Follow them to their car and stand talking to them through the car window while they smile in increasing desperation. I guarantee they will never ask similar questions again.

    Oh, yes, I've gotten questions about vegetables while checking out at the supermarket, plus I often have to tell the cashier the name of the vegetable.

    BTW, for those of you in New England, Market Basket has a really great range of vegetables.
    edited January 3
  • aimjolieaimjolie Posts: 35Member Member Posts: 35Member Member
    My guess is that they are just plain jealous of all you accomplished. They probably have little or no will power and they see that you made big changes to loss 107 lbs. Maybe they would like to lose weight but are not because they are not willing to make lifestyle changes. Try to ignore them and just be so proud of losing so much. If they say anything, say I feel great with more energy. Losing weight is just an added benefit. I tend to keep eating healthy because I feel so good. I am enjoying being healthy. And smile with happiness as you say this. Believe me, this will stop them, because they see you are happy and not feeling deprived. If they see you eating some small treat, just say when you are eating healthy, nothing is off limits. I now know that healthy eating is enjoying everything in moderation. Bottom line, just be proud of yourself. You just set a good example and makes them feel either jealous or what is wrong with me that I can’t be healthy. I think you got the last laugh!
  • UltraVegAthleteUltraVegAthlete Posts: 669Member Member Posts: 669Member Member
    I think people can just be envious. I would handle comments like that by just saying “yeah, I am having X. It’s really good!”
  • snowdemon75snowdemon75 Posts: 11Member Member Posts: 11Member Member
    I tend to eat what I want when I want yes sometimes I’ll have bad days I won’t let diet rule my life again and if somebody’s got a problem it’s their problem not mine so I just let it go over my head
  • ejohndrowejohndrow Posts: 1,399Member Member Posts: 1,399Member Member
    I stopped reading halfway through all the walls of text. Next time someone makes any type of unsolicited comment simply say, 'Don't be jealous.' And leave it at that.
    At least, that's how I live my life.
  • razorcutrazorcut Posts: 24Member Member Posts: 24Member Member
    I’ve learned in my 44 years that what someone thinks of me is none of my business. Shrug it off. Live your life and let them live theirs.
  • Sunrain2018Sunrain2018 Posts: 24Member Member Posts: 24Member Member
    My only advice is stay away from jealous people.:... People that didn’t know me before my weight loss would always make comments along those lines after I mentioned how much weight I lost.

    edited January 24
  • rxspectarxspecta Posts: 19Member Member Posts: 19Member Member
    Jim Gaffigan

    http://www.cc.com/video-clips/fq3bvp/comedy-central-presents-people-who-don-t-drink

    its kind of the same thing only diff. skip to 1:32 for the bit.
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