Has anyone dated after weight loss?

MikePTY

lunchboxchuck wrote: »

cheryldumais wrote: »

I've been married a very long time so may not be the best person to comment but one thought kept coming to me as I read this thread. That thought is that when you are dating what exactly are you looking for? If you are looking for a person to share life with then the rest should not be important. Of course the trick is to find someone who is looking for the same thing. As others have said no one's body is perfect and loving someone means accepting all of them. If the men you are dating are just looking for a body then perhaps they are not good enough for you. Ask any person who has been divorced from a "good looking" mate how good looking they were when they stopped loving them! Looks don't last once the personality comes out if it's not good.

I have been married and wanted to share life. It mattered to him because naturally, sex is involved. It's mattered to everyone before and after, too. The man I dated for four years was talking marriage, but cheated with thin women every time I traveled for work. I might just give up on physical relationships.

Since my wife and I first started dating, she had a major surgery that left scars, and probably gained close to 60 pounds (as did I similarly). I've never been more physically attracted to her than I am now, because as our relationship has continued to grow and mature, that is what I see. I don't see any so called flaws. I only see her perfection.

It seems like it would be a good idea for you to first put off dating until you can get to a comfortable place where you can love yourself, and feel like you are deserving the love of others. Then when/if you do decide to go out there, focus on getting to know someone and forming an emotional connection before bringing any physical aspect into it.

goodasgoldilox165

1. Dating isn't all about finding someone you please ... look for someone who pleases you.
No need to listen to their remarks about your body (or anything else) as if they matter. They don't - until you decide to let them.

2. How do you feel about a good-looking guy who turns out to have stretched skin?
Will you feel that you have to make a big effort to overlook this - and not to remark on it to him- or will it simply not be a problem? The latter I hope. Trust others to be like you even if they also happen to be men.

3. Bodies aren't meant to be unmarked like those in statues/paintings/fashion-pictures/porn. They get lived in and hold traces of your life and experience. Carry your own stretch marks with pride. They mark a huge ( ) success. They are a kind of tattoo showing that you are a woman of strength and character.

lunchboxchuck

InsertFunnyUsernameHere wrote: »

Take up strength training to help tighten/tone your body. Start today or as soon as possible. If your body is soft like a marshmallow after all of your weight loss, then strength training is going to tighten/tone everything up, including your arms.

A lot of people end up in your situation after a large weightloss. They focused on cardio and ended up losing muscle mass along with fat. You need to add back that mass and even build some new mass to shape your body.

I deadlift 205#. I'm too bulky as it is. I lift 4x a week but I still look like crepe paper. I guess that works for some people but I have ruined my body by yo-yo dieting too much.

Britxclarity

While my dating experience is hardly to none exist I have learned a few things from this thread. And it has really opened my eyes to small things I have forgotten about.

Currently I am in a long distance relationship its still super fresh ( only about two months in) but I guess it's true what they say about opposites attract. Here I am at 381lbs ( as of today) and he is one of those people who has been skinny all of their life. However he is actually underweight ( according to BMI). We share the same problems but in different ways, I hide from photos not wanting him to dislike seeing my legs, my stomach my arms and just overall how big I am. And he hides thinking that I won't accept him for the way he looks because he is to thin. We have video cam'd and shared a fair amount of pictures.Who knows if we will work out.

All in all im saying thank you for this thread and also the other people that we are trying to date just might have the same things going through their minds of wanting us to be accepting of them.

SCoil123

Yes, I lost a little over 80lb about a year before meeting my now husband. I only dated two guys before him so I didn’t date a lot. It was hard at first to start dating again but that goes away.

I was very self conscious about my loose skin on my stomach (still am) but didn’t really get any comments about it. Honestly if you’re dating worthwhile people they shouldn’t be focusing on that over who you are as a person and how they feel with you.

My husband is constantly telling me that the skin is hardly noticeable to anyone but me and that he thinks my body is beautiful. When I gained half the weight back a year into our relationship he said the same things. And as we have worked getting fit again together we are each other’s biggest champions.