Dad Jokes/Bad Jokes...

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Replies

  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 1,003 Member
    What do you get when you cross an angry sheep with a mad cow?

    Two animals in a baaaaad moooood.
  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 1,003 Member
    My ex tried to humiliate me in front of her friends by saying I was bad in bed. You should've seen the look on her face when they all disagreed.
  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 1,003 Member
    I'm pissed at my neighbor. He keeps playing Lionel Richie at max volume. Normally I wouldn't mind but it's been All Night Long.
  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 1,003 Member
    I've converted to Norse Paganism but don't tell anyone. I'm trying to keep it Loki.
  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 1,003 Member
    What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?

    A sighborg.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    I used to hate facial hair.

    But then it started to grow on me.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    I keep all of my Dad jokes

    In a Dad-A-Base
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.

    She hugged me.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    Espresso may not be the answer

    But it's worth a shot
  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 1,003 Member
    Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, “Wait til it gets warmer.”

    Rodney D.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member


    I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    What did the gym coach say to the cat?

    A: Have you paid your annual fleas?
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks?

    Mini-soda!
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes?

    “I guess you had to be there.”
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    Barista: How do you take your coffee?

    Me: Very, very seriously.