“Don’t lose anymore”

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  • gottswald
    gottswald Posts: 122 Member
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    FatHollis wrote: »
    ... and a neighbor wanted to know if I'd lost the weight because I was seriously ill/dying.

    Independent from my efforts, my Dad lost about 70lbs. He'd have people ask him if he had cancer, if he was doing ok, etc. if they hadn't seen him since he started.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,055 Member
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    If it was someone who was truly concerned about my well-being, and arguably had a close enough relationship to me to comment, I mostly went with "my doctor and I are happy with my progress and weight goal" (which was true).

    I think a lot of this relates to 3 things:
    1. People are used to seeing us heavier, so we look "wrong" thinner.
    2. So many people are overweight these days, that overweight looks pretty normal, and a healthy weight looks relatively thin, maybe scary thin.
    3. Realistically, after quite a bit of weight loss, many of us have a little bit of loose facial skin that hasn't had a chance to shrink back yet, and other visible signs of the weight loss process that can - as in my case - make us look a little haggard to others for a while. It's no big deal in reality, but it alarms people. (I definitely looked better a few months after hitting goal weight, even though at the same body weight.)

    Don't let it throw you, it's completely normal, and - as others have said - people generally get over it once you've been at goal weight for a while. But yeah, it's weird.
  • Hollis100
    Hollis100 Posts: 1,408 Member
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    gottswald wrote: »
    FatHollis wrote: »
    ... and a neighbor wanted to know if I'd lost the weight because I was seriously ill/dying.

    Independent from my efforts, my Dad lost about 70lbs. He'd have people ask him if he had cancer, if he was doing ok, etc. if they hadn't seen him since he started.

    I understand what you're saying, but the person who said this to me was a neighbor who lives a block away and sees me walk my dog all the time. Their tone was nosy.

    I also thought it was obvious I wasn't ill -- I'd started jogging, regularly took off to hike in the mornings with my neon shirt and sneakers on, etc.

    One of my big -- no, huge -- problems is being polite and feeling I can't say no to people. I'm really and truly not obligated to answer all questions and make everybody else feel comfortable.

  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,630 Member
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    It isn't a backhanded compliment, but the person who said is more than likely used to you being the weight you were, as you lose the lbs and slim they find it hard to get use to it. Just ignore and continue. Another well known comments as you get slimmer is "you don't need to diet" or "you can afford to eat this cake/24" pizza/200lb tub of ice cream" etc etc etc, they have no idea how hard you are working/have worked, don't let them sway you from your goals.
  • JohnnytotheB
    JohnnytotheB Posts: 361 Member
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    Truth is, most people don't like when people are successful. Also, misery loves company.
  • sarawilliams5889
    sarawilliams5889 Posts: 105 Member
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    I used to get this, when I lost weight before, I didn’t really understand what people were talking about (I still saw myself as 15+kg overweight). Was still in healthy BMI though so just shrugged it off. I never really understand why others comment on people’s weight, it’s such a personal thing. Just keep doing what you’re doing and ignore unhelpful comments ☺️
  • Dianetheinvincible
    Dianetheinvincible Posts: 18 Member
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    I agree with what someone said above that sometimes weight loss can make your face look haggard, which can make it seem alarming for you to lose more. I had an acquaintance who lost weight fast prior to her wedding, and if I hadn't known better I would have thought she was seriously ill, her face was so gaunt-looking. The change in her was shocking, and personally I thought she looked better before. She was pretty fit to begin with. Of course I kept my mouth shut, but this might be why some people are saying things to you.
  • Susan3758
    Susan3758 Posts: 77 Member
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    I had a complete stranger who happened to be sitting in our company say Your a very stylish woman but you need to eat more! I told him "I eat plenty, I just don't eat rubbish"

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