I have severe social anxiety. I’m pretty sure it’s from years & years of bullying as a child- Everything from my hair to my body to the way I walked & talked. Teachers joined in & even my so-called “friends”. Going to places like Walmart or even the corner store is impossible because of my general fear of being laughed at or judged. Thank goodness for my family & loved ones for their support. I’m also grateful for reading- my favorite coping mechanism. Being able to escape has greatly improved my quality of life. I have a wonderful therapist who helps me & my medication keeps the most severe symptoms at bay.
I’m basically agoraphobic. I order everything from toothbrushes to shampoo online so I don’t have to go out in public. I hate even going outside to retrieve the mail or put garbage out. My home is my sanctuary. No one within these walls judges me. I don’t play my music in my car or put bumper stickers on my vehicle because I don’t want any kind of attention. If I could have a super power, it would be the ability to turn invisible at will. I have an evening job cleaning being that it’s impossible for me to have a customer service/public oriented position.
I sometimes look out my window & see people walking down the street & I wonder what it’s like to not be so afraid to be seen by people.
I try to live each day at a time & utilize my coping mechanisms. I also try to count my blessings & remember that there are people that have many more struggles than I.
I was wondering if anyone out there has struggled with mental illness such as depression or anxiety & is in recovery?