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Unwanted advice at gym

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  • PTA4LYFPTA4LYF Posts: 60Member Member Posts: 60Member Member
    aokoye wrote: »
    steveko89 wrote: »
    PTA4LYF wrote: »
    ok heres the deal. ive been a physical therapist for 28 years every time i go to the gym i see at least 6 people using improper form for exercise, cardio or weight lifting some to the point that they can hurt their back or injure muscles. i want to approach them and help them because id hate to see them get hurt but i dont because as very well mentioned here in all the posts people will get offended. so my resolve is i say to myself ok i guess i will see them in a month in my clinic when they are recovering from some musculoskeletal injury.

    Is it not better for business that way?

    Sure it may be, but I don't think most medical professionals are continuously hoping that people hurt themselves or end up with XYZ illness/disorder.


    exactly i only want to help prevent injury
  • NovusDiesNovusDies Posts: 5,995Member, Premium Member Posts: 5,995Member, Premium Member
    That kind of thing doesn't just happen at the gym. My husband, who has never set foot in a gym or worked out a day in his life constantly gives me advice on how to work out - bench presses, lifts, how to run (he's never run more than the distance from the car to the entrance of the shopping center in the rain). I find it offensive and condescending - especially since he is very out of shape.

    Have you tried to put a stop to it?
  • pyrusangelespyrusangeles Posts: 307Member, Premium Member Posts: 307Member, Premium Member
    @PTA4LYF I think you would be the exception for me. If you approached me and introduced yourself as a physical therapist, asked what my goals are, then gave me a pointer on how to not injure myself after you saw me doing something very wrong, I'd be grateful. I'm sure not everyone would be ok with that, but I will always take into consideration a truly professional opinion, especially taking into account that I have to pay a large sum of money every time I go see my PT. Free is great!
    edited October 22
  • aokoyeaokoye Posts: 3,255Member Member Posts: 3,255Member Member
    PTA4LYF wrote: »
    steveko89 wrote: »
    PTA4LYF wrote: »
    ok heres the deal. ive been a physical therapist for 28 years every time i go to the gym i see at least 6 people using improper form for exercise, cardio or weight lifting some to the point that they can hurt their back or injure muscles. i want to approach them and help them because id hate to see them get hurt but i dont because as very well mentioned here in all the posts people will get offended. so my resolve is i say to myself ok i guess i will see them in a month in my clinic when they are recovering from some musculoskeletal injury.

    Is it not better for business that way?

    im not saying i want them to get injured i want to prevent that from happening that is why i want so badly to advise people of the risks. but everyone on this thread is saying to leave them alone and not approach them which it makes it hard for me since im in the business of helping people.

    I think I mentioned in this thread that I once had a PT who simply had to turn around when she saw someone squatting in such a way with such a large amount of weight that he was bound to hurt himself. Telling him to do something different would have been a liability issue which I would almost assume her practice (part of a medical school that is also one of the larger employers in the metro area) likely also has rules that their staff have to abide by pertaining to that. If he had actually gotten hurt then that's likely when she would have stepped in.

    If you're really conflicted, I would consult with other physical therapists and/or whatever board you practice under.
  • hesn92hesn92 Posts: 5,653Member Member Posts: 5,653Member Member
    If it were me I would just ignore him completely, put on my RBF and give very short uninterested responses if he made any attempts to talk to me. He sounds like a total weirdo.

    Ideally I would actually be assertive and tell him it feels like he is following me around and it's making me uncomfortable and to please leave me alone, but I know I would be too scared to say that.
    edited October 22
  • AnnPT77AnnPT77 Posts: 12,798Member Member Posts: 12,798Member Member
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    Hey guys so just an update incase anybody is interested. I've seen this guy a couple of times since and he always chooses the workout station facing me. It makes me uncomfortable but i just try to avoid eye contact and get on with it. Today when I finished training and was about to leave i saw him hang around at the entrance he was leaving to. I saw him standing there and didnt want to bump into him so i tried to mess with my phone for a bit and put my coat on to give him a chance to leave but he was still standing there and i had to leave for work so i decided to just go. When I walked past he asked could he make a phone call on my phone because his went dead and he needed to call his sister. I stupidly gave him my phone. I know that wasnt the smartest move but I just felt so akward and put on the spot. Then he started asking how was training and asking me my name.

    This may all turn out just to be a guy who's a little too aggressive, yet harmless . . . but:

    Some people with predatory intent test potential targets by pushing them to do things that make that person just a little uncomfortable. If the target complies "to be nice" or "because they didn't know what to do", then the predator knows they have someone they can manipulate.

    You do not want to be that person.

    Especially if a situation like that makes you feel awkward or uncomfortable, I'd encourage you not to cooperate or be nice. Walk away. You don't have to be super-rude or anything. Just tell him you're in a rush, don't have time, if he tries something like the "use your phone" gambit. If he acts inclined to follow you, go back into the gym, talk to a manager or trainer in a separate private area if possible, and have them escort you to your car (maybe ask them to pretend you're getting something from the car to give or show them, if you're worried about escalating). If you sense that he's going to be pushy, move to make sure you're standing where the gym personnel can overhear the whole conversation.

    It's OK to be brusque or "not nice" or to not have time to interact with someone who is making you uncomfortable. It's OK to assert yourself. Please be careful.


    Yeah I guess I have to work on being more assertive. If I could go back I wouldve told him I don't have time but it was just one of those moments where I was caught off guard. My phone was in my hand and I couldn't think of an excuse. I know I don't owe him anything. In the gym he always seems to be where I am. If im at the weights so is he, if im doing cardio so is he.... I havent reported it to anyone because it could be a coincidence and I'd hate to excuse somebody in the wrong. I'll keep an eye on it an observe the situation.

    a) You don't need an excuse
    b) 'No' is a complete sentence
    c) He's the one who broke the social contract first
    d) I know all of that is easier to say/think than do :(
    so e) Read 'The Gift of Fear'.

    Endorsed, including maybe/especially the bolded.
  • TrechechusTrechechus Posts: 2,847Member Member Posts: 2,847Member Member
    LyndaBSS wrote: »
    Bench press the guy and be done with it. What a jerk. 😠

    This.

    It sounds like he was trying to hit on you, and was actually a do*che in doing so. When you didn't fawn over him, he decided you were upset (which, by the way, you were completely allowed to be, because who tf interrupts someone's workout without being invited?) If you want him to p*ss off and he won't, I would talk to the front desk staff. It's not okay for him to interrupt you for an ego-boost. Or, maybe headphones, though I know that's not always do-able while lifting.
  • lokihenlokihen Posts: 198Member Member Posts: 198Member Member
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    Hey guys so just an update incase anybody is interested. I've seen this guy a couple of times since and he always chooses the workout station facing me. It makes me uncomfortable but i just try to avoid eye contact and get on with it. Today when I finished training and was about to leave i saw him hang around at the entrance he was leaving to. I saw him standing there and didnt want to bump into him so i tried to mess with my phone for a bit and put my coat on to give him a chance to leave but he was still standing there and i had to leave for work so i decided to just go. When I walked past he asked could he make a phone call on my phone because his went dead and he needed to call his sister. I stupidly gave him my phone. I know that wasnt the smartest move but I just felt so akward and put on the spot. Then he started asking how was training and asking me my name.

    This may all turn out just to be a guy who's a little too aggressive, yet harmless . . . but:

    Some people with predatory intent test potential targets by pushing them to do things that make that person just a little uncomfortable. If the target complies "to be nice" or "because they didn't know what to do", then the predator knows they have someone they can manipulate.

    You do not want to be that person.

    Especially if a situation like that makes you feel awkward or uncomfortable, I'd encourage you not to cooperate or be nice. Walk away. You don't have to be super-rude or anything. Just tell him you're in a rush, don't have time, if he tries something like the "use your phone" gambit. If he acts inclined to follow you, go back into the gym, talk to a manager or trainer in a separate private area if possible, and have them escort you to your car (maybe ask them to pretend you're getting something from the car to give or show them, if you're worried about escalating). If you sense that he's going to be pushy, move to make sure you're standing where the gym personnel can overhear the whole conversation.

    It's OK to be brusque or "not nice" or to not have time to interact with someone who is making you uncomfortable. It's OK to assert yourself. Please be careful.


    Yeah I guess I have to work on being more assertive. If I could go back I wouldve told him I don't have time but it was just one of those moments where I was caught off guard. My phone was in my hand and I couldn't think of an excuse. I know I don't owe him anything. In the gym he always seems to be where I am. If im at the weights so is he, if im doing cardio so is he.... I havent reported it to anyone because it could be a coincidence and I'd hate to excuse somebody in the wrong. I'll keep an eye on it an observe the situation.

    a) You don't need an excuse
    b) 'No' is a complete sentence
    c) He's the one who broke the social contract first
    d) I know all of that is easier to say/think than do :(
    so e) Read 'The Gift of Fear'.

    Thank you for the suggestion to read 'The Gift of Fear'. I'm only on chapter 6, but it is indeed enlightening. It prompted a conversation with a co-worker who is going to have her college-age daughter read it. The statistic that three out of four women are victims of violence is true in my immediate family.
  • mom23mangosmom23mangos Posts: 2,860Member Member Posts: 2,860Member Member
    psychod787 wrote: »

    :D:D:D That was one of the funniest things I've ever watched.
  • Analog_KidAnalog_Kid Posts: 188Member Member Posts: 188Member Member
    @psychod787 Fantastic! Very funny...and yet, oddly familiar.
  • vanityy99vanityy99 Posts: 891Member Member Posts: 891Member Member
    psychod787 wrote: »

    :o That girl in pink.


    Lemme go find my dumbells right quick. 🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️
  • HoneyBadger155HoneyBadger155 Posts: 1,386Member Member Posts: 1,386Member Member
    psychod787 wrote: »

    OMG that was hilarious...
  • sarabear500sarabear500 Posts: 10Member Member Posts: 10Member Member
    What an a**. He said... you look PO'd? Next time tell him he's flirting wrong and he's really killing himself.
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